This was a request by Hanadapotato. 

This horrible quality oneshot took me OVER a week to get the motivation to write Holy shit I feel like an asshole I am so sorry.

STORYTIME 

"Uuuuugh this is MISERABLE!!! Annotating this shit is soooooooooo boring!"

"Remy, Language! I told you my only rule for you coming over to my house to help with your homework is that you watch your profanity! You know my family is very strict and religious.... if they hear you they'll through you out and they'll forbid me from talking to you. And Dad will literally kick you out of the house! You're... you're not supposed to be here..."

Remy flopped down on Emile's bed, already done with this assignment. They share a language arts teacher, though Emile is in Advanced Placement he still wanted to help Remy: a Level Student. The assignment was to annotate a poem, find then theme, and write another poem with the same theme. Emile knows the theme already: Love Gives You Strength.

"I got an idea. Let's play a game of Uno. If you win, I'll do the assignment. If I win, then we just hang out for the night and I'll copy your work in the morning. Sound like a deal?"

"But how are you going to learn if you just copy my work?"

"Emile, do I look like the kind of person who cares about what grade he gets in a level English class? No, I don't. The only reason I asked you to help me with my homework is because I wanted to hang out and play uno."

Remy pulled a deck of uno out of the pocket of his leather jacket. It was an older deck bound together by a hairtie. He hopped off of Emile's bed and sat cross legged on the floor, pulling out his phone to get some music while they play a round of Uno. Emile sighed, glancing at the assignment. He really wanted to help Remy get out of failing pretty much all his classes, but he didn't want to make him unhappy.

"Can't we do the work first and play Uno later?"

"I already made the proposition, babes. If you don't wanna play Uno I'll just sneak out the window the same way I came in here. I didn't have to come and hang out with you, I wanted to. But if you don't wanna hang out that's cool or whatever-"

"No no no please don't go! I do wanna hang out with you! I just... I really wanted to help you get your grades up."

"Emm, it's sweet and all you care that much about me but I'm fine. I do good on tests and that'll make up for the bs homework I refuse to do. Now sit your ass on the floor and pick a song, because we're gonna play some goddamn Uno. And don't you fucking dare say anything about 'language' or nothin. I've heard you after you lose a game of monopoly, babes~"

Emile closed his mouth, Remy already knowing what he was going to scold. Emile sat down on the fooor across from him, Remy smirking as he shuffled the cards. He hated to admit that Remy was right. Emile could get very competitive. Remy dished out the cards and then first one was a yellow eight. Emile sorted his hand, pursing his lips together. He does not have a single yellow.

"You can go first, babes."

"No no, you wanted to play so I insist. I wouldn't want to be rude or anything..."

"Okay fine, whatever. It's your loss."

Remy laughed as he placed down a yellow seven. Remy loves the sevens and zeroes swapping rules, but the cards mean the exact same thing when there's only two players. Only true gamers get that reference. Emile looked at his hand, noticing how horrible the cards are. No yellows yet again. With a defeated sigh, Emile began drawing cards.

"What the hell?! How did we both manage not to get any yellows?! Did I shuffle it weirdly or did you pull some sort of shenanigans somehow?"

"No, I'm sure no shenanigans were pulled. I do appreciate you restraining yourself with the swear word."

Seven cards later he gets a yellow zero. Oh wow, what luck. He giggled as he places the yellow zero down. The bottom of the deck Is just gonna be loaded with yellows! Well, Emile's third favorite color is yellow so he doesn't mind. His second favorite color is beige and his first favorite favoritest color is pink! Light pink. Pastel pink. Remy groans as they switch hands. He draws and immediately places down a yellow four.

Four! Yes! Emile saves the game from being a giant draw fest by placing down a green four. Remy places down a green five, and Emile put down a green nine. This was a nice game of Uno, nice and friendly. But knowing Remy he was saving all his harmful cards towards the end to ensure victory. Emile decided Now was a good time to prevent him from getting to those cards. He put down a green plus two.

Remy rose an eyebrow, smirking as he put down a plus four. Emile gave him his most innocent smile as he revealed a plus four himself. Remy's eyes went as wide as dinner plates for a second, then he sighed a breath of relief. Oh no. Emile was sure he would only have one. After all, this was a beginning hand basically. Remy placed a red plus two down. How many cards is that? Twelve?

"Don't get testy, 'Kay babes?"

"Okay okay, but we really need to get back to work after this game."

"I ain't going back on my deal."

Remy put down a red six, it being his turn. Emile had some yellows now. Ten out of twelve of those cards he drew were yellow. Hey, is that a six? Maybe he can win this and get Remy's grades up. He put down the yellow six, earning himself a scowl from Remy. He looked at his hand, grimacing as he drew. One, two, three, four cards and he finally got a yellow three. Emile placed down a yellow three as well to match it. Remy began drawing once more. One, two, three, four...

"Can ya stop with the yellows!? Gods just change the color already! WHY HAVENT I DRAWN A SINGLE YELLOW THIS IS BULL-"

"Shenanigans."

"YEAH IT'S BULL-SHENANIGANS!!! SURE!!! WHATEVER!!! SEVEN CARDS FINALLY JESUS CHIRST ALMIGHTY!!!"

He slammed down a yellow one. Oh yeah, Emila had forgotten there were actually ones in this card game. He was so used to one not being used. One as in the number, not one as in a singular item. English is a complicated language. Emile placed a yellow one to match it, also having one. Remy exclaimed something along the lines of "aha" and slammed down a blue one. Emile shrugged, playing a blue four. Why not? Blue was a nice color. It may not be one of his favorites, but he has a handful of blues.

Blue nine, blue six, red six, red three, red four, green four, green seven. Hand swap! Emile looked at his new cards, noticing how literally everything was blue or red. Oh dear. The color is green. He doesn't have a seven or a green, so he drew. Lucky lucky! Emile got a green one! He placed that down. Remy snickered, playing a yellow one. Oh no. It's drawing time!

"Take that."

"Yellow is just our unlucky color of the game. Oh?"

Two cards later, a wild has appeared. Okay, that works. He set it down and declared the color to be red. He has one more red than he does blue, thanks to that draw with a singular green mixed in. Remy's hand was very scarce. But he hasn't drawn any, so he should only have the cards that Emile handed him... right? Yeah. Right. Did his old hand have any reds at all? Emile has the memory of Dory the fish.

Remy scowled and began to draw. Oh, guess there were no reds. He collected two, five, eight cards. Unlike last time, he kept his cool. Emile knows that it meant he was collecting cards for some reason. Emile's hand was now smaller than Remy's somehow. Remy grinned, but then he paused.

"Are we allowing stacking?"

"I mean, sure. If it's the same color AND number then stacking is cool. Oh, but you can call shenanigans if you think the other person is faking it. If you meant something else-"

"Start drawing."

Emile's jaw dropped to the floor. He had never seen so many plus fours! One, two, three, where did all five of this plus fours come from?! Did he draw all of them just now?! Emile threw his cards down, refusing to draw twenty cards. He isn't not the poor guy in that _________ or draw 25 meme. Emile puffed his cheeks, red with anger and embarassment. He refused to say he quit, but he quit! Remy threw his head back laughing.

"Ha! I won! Babes? Babes! Oh my god your face is priceless! This means we get to do whatever I want and I get to copy your work instead of doing it myself, 'cause I ain't going home. Mom has a boyfriend over."

"That's why you asked me to help you with your homework then... you didn't want to be home."

"That and you're much better company than any of my step siblings. You're the only person who has ever really cared about me, and the only one I care about. It's also super cute whenever you get mad when I beat you in a game. So.... are you up for a round two?"

Emile let out a deep breath. He really wanted to help Remy with his grades, but he can't deny him after that. His mom was kind of an... ambiguous lover. Emile has met the woman once when Remy invited him and a few other friends over to spend the night so he didn't have to deal with one of Remy's Ex-Dads visiting. It really wasn't a good household, but Remy was better than them... Emile sat back down, not even realizing he stood up.

"Fine, but I'm shuffling. Your shuffling is garbage."

"Good boy."

Emile's cheeks flushed at the nickname, he took the cards and began to shuffle. It's time for Uno round two.

1724 Words

Wow I feel so bad for not writing for so long. So what's been going on with me, not thst anyone cares, is that I've been really depressed and blocked creatively on all fronts. I do have a lot happening Rn. I can't even get motivation to do my schoolwork notes.

Internet hugs and blow kisses!

~Rem