....
Oh hell yes
This is gonna be a crack chapter be warned.
STORYTIME!
Logan looked at the clock. Any minute now Remus should appear out of nowhere with w knife to try and jumpscare him and "kill" him. He wants to prove that he can bother Logan. Quite the opposite, actually. He enjoyed rubbing it in every chance he got.
Logan returned his focus back to his book. He was reading a classic over again. You know, "To Kill a Mockingbird". Logan thought it was appropriate considering the circumstances given. Just before Logan reached out for his tea he felt a slight prick of a needle through his chest. That must be him.
"USE A KNAIFU TO END YOUR LAIFU!!!"
Remus accidentally learned from Virgil that Logan hates the weeb malformation of the English language, so he started using it. Same with what he likes to call "OwO Speak". Logan sighed and looked over his shoulder, trying to wear the most stoic face he could.
"You know that doesn't hurt, right?"
Remus pouted and took the knife out of his chest. He didn't even try that hard. Remus jabbed the knife into his shoulder blade, twisting it and making a gush of blood splatter onto the chair. Great, now he's going to have to clean that up. Logan rolled his eyes and used the most monotone voice ever to say:
"Harder Daddy. Oh, please. I like it rough."
He had so much sarcasm in his voice that it sounded entirely fake. Remus froze for a minute, staring at Logan in disbelief. He knew Remus would hate him saying that. He tried something similar last time he decided to ambush him and Renus instantly went away. He faked a moan last time, but made sure it was overly fake. This should get him to stop.
"OwO? What's dis? Does Mastwer have a Daddy Fetish UwU? Hewwo~ Call me Daddy again Wogan~"
Mission failed MISSION FAILED!!! ABORT ABORT ABORT!!! Logan had forgotten the sacred rule: Never use the D word around Remus. Remus is a hardcore sleaze bag when it comes to that Word. Logan noped out of there and went to his room, locking the door.
"You look so successful. Did it work?"
Deceit was sitting on his bed, filing his nails through the yellow gloves he wore. Oh, did Logan forget to mention that Deceit was in on this too? He desperately wanted to find a way to get Remus To stop his antics, well the annoying knife ones, so Logan offered to help. Logan shook his head.
"I have both miscalculated and forgotten one of our own rules."
"You called him Daddy, didn't you?"
Logan bowed his head in defeat, feeling so stupid. Deceit tsked and walked over to the desk, scribbling a few notes down. Logan shuddered and sat on the bed. He despises and loathes that "OwO Speach". It's a disgrace to English! Other than that... this entire ordeal was quite fun.
It would be more fun if they found a way to aggravate Remus....
500 Words
OwO What's Dis? Did My witted weadah fwiends Fine deir way to da end of my oneshot UwU? Pwease give me Wots and wots of votes and comments OwO! I wuv youuuuuuuuuuuu! UwU OwO UwU
Internet hugs and blow kisses!
~Eva