I havent done this ship in forever! That's a crime! Y'all need to keep me in line! Make sure I give every ship it's fair share of love!

Warning: Extremely Vulgar Language. Included the f word, and I don't mean fuck. So if you're sensitive to the f***** Word then you should probably not read this.

STORYTIME!

Ah, fucking public school. A place where you are either a dumbass bitch, a useless bitch, or a thotty bitch. There is literally no in between, and sometimes someone can be multiple. Hell, most people are all three in public school! Well, at least in America. Do people even teach their kids respect and modesty anymore? Or we're they too busy being pregnant at seventeen to even care about that sort of shit? Because that's exactly what happened to Virgil's Mom. He was lucky Remy's next door neighbors were a kind elderly couple who happily took Virgil in as their own son. And now they're best friends forever! 

Yaaaaay

But there's another problem. Remy is, like, gay. He's super gay. Like the top tier of faggotry gay. Like making out with posters of Brendon Urie at midnight in his bedroom level gay. He's very gay. He's a sassy gay. And we all know that it's queer culture to fall in love with your motherfucking best friend. Well guess what? He fucking fell in love with Virgil. And now he's a cocky little bastard thinking that he can just tell Virgil with literally no consequences! Ain't that something special? Remember when everyone was a certain kind of bitch? Remy is the dumbass thotty bitch. He ain't useless because his eyebrows always on fleek and he can work a catwalk!

That reason is exactly why the two of them were over in Remy's room. Virgil had himself starfished on Remy's floor, just staring at the ceiling while House Of Memories played from Remy's playlist on shuffle in the background. You can never go wrong with Brendon Urie. His voice is hot! He is hot! What more did you want from Remy? Damn! Let a gay dide live! Speaking of that, Remy decided just to bring it up casually. You know, because he's a dumbass.

"Hey, Virge. I got something to say and I'm going to say it."

Remy got out, but then he choked up. Here comes the seconds guessing! And the anxiety. But Remy doesn't deal with that shit. He's too much of a prideful little thot to back down now. He sat up and slid off his bed, sitting down right next to Virgil so he can stare him dead in the eyes as he said it. Are you ready world? Because Remy sure didn't even care at thins point! Virgil rose an eyebrow, confused. Virgil was about to sit up when Remy stuck out his hand to stop him. Just hold on, bitch, let the faggot speak for fuck's sake!

"I'm gay. Like, soooooo Gay. I'm a fucking Queer Faggot and I don't care who knows anymore. I kiss posters of Brendon Urie and literally push down boners in the gym locker rooms. I scope out hot guys at Starbucks and I flirt with guys and jokingly say 'no homo' when in reality there's a lot of fucking homo. Virgil, I'm hella Queer."

Virgil just stared ar him a minute before laughing. Remy was offended a little bit. That hurt! Did it really not matter too much to Virgil that Remy was finally admitting these things? Well, the confidence and the shit ton of cussing was probably an indicator that it wasn't serious, but Remy was totally serious! Like, wet dream multiple nights in a row consecutively serious! Virgil just sat up and looked over at Remy, not giving any fucks at all. His eyelids dropped slightly and he slouched forward a lot, putting all his weight on his arms leaning on the ground.

"Remy, I know you're gay. It's so obvious. Besides, I've heard you fanboy about Fall Out Boy and you win the penis game every time because you have no fucking shame. Just tell me that you love me already and give me consent so we can start making out already."

Virgil laughed it off. Wait, was he drunk? High? Something else? Normally Virgil freaks out when he hears the F or Q word. He always needs gets hella defensive and pretends he has a really hot LDR girlfriend that he sleeps every night. Maybe it's because they ain't at school or within earshot of anyone important. That or Virgil was so tired he was delirious. Remy highly doubts that because Virgil gets maybe five hours or less sleep a night on a good night. 

"Virgil... You're gay too?"

Virgil just laughed it off, giving him the "are you serious right now?" Face. Virgil rolled his eyes and grabbed Remy by the collar, pulling him close to his face. Virgil smirked at him, not midnging getting real close and personal. Both of their faces went red, stretching all the way to their ears. Here we go! Here comes the anxiety part! Virgil isntsntly let go and hid his face inside his hoodie, regaining his senses from the false bravado he just put on.

"Oh my god I'm so Sorry Remy I didn't mean-"

Remy didn't hesitate to interrupt him and yank off his hood from his head, looking deep into his best friend's Eyes. Well, we can hardly say best friend anymore right? Lmao.

"Can you just shut up and tell me if you want me to kiss you or not? You're killing me over here, Virgil."

Virgil took a slow, deep breath to calm himself down. Virgil noddd, giving Remy the consent to lunge forward and attack Virgil into a passionate kiss. A gay kiss. A faggot kiss that ascends all previous faggotry and writes their names in the gods of the gays. They congregate in hell because they have 24/7 rave parties with glow sticks for all the goths and the gays. Satan does the DJ and it's mega lit. 

Remy kept themselves together a story best he could, even pushing Virgil against the floor and tugging on his hair a bit. Virgil didn't like that so he did the same thing back. Remy did actually like that. Virgil pushed against Remy, sitting the two back up. When they broke apsrt, both were gasping for air and grinning from ear to ear. Virgil wiped his mouth mockingly. What? It was their first kiss! For both parties! It's a no brainer that saliva would get anywhere! ...dumbass bitch. Remy rolled his eyes and went in for another one

But his mom banged on the door, yelling through.

"Boys, I don't care if you're making out or going to town but I forgot you break that bed you're paying for it!!!"

Virgil panicked and grabbed a pillow, heeding it at the door out of reflex. It's how he gets his older siblings to stay away from his room or whatever. Remy just laughed. His mom always knew he was a gay the second he turned six. He was the bitch who listened to Hannah Montana on repeat for hours and went to a Halloween party as Rick Astley. Remy placed a hand on Virgil's shoulder, calming down the heavily breathing boy. Were they boyfriends now? Remy was pretty sure they were boyfriends now.

"Bitch, calm the fuck down. You know my mom's a chill person so you don't need to worry, babes."

Virgil nodded before doing the same slow deep breath as before. It's a calming exercise for him. Then Virgil looked back at Remy, weakly smiling.

"Well fuck you too then."

Oh you little asshole you're getting it now!!!

1150 Words

I'm tired, I wanted to do a sleepxiety, I don't know. I normally don't do this kind of content because I'd rather keep it wholesome but it's this ship that normally makes me break from that im sorry.

Degrading nicknames and slurs hurt, I know. I got called many all the time last school year. Fatso, Dyke, Faggot, Bitch, you name it I was called it. People even went as far as to call me a whale. You know what I did to stop it? When people would call me a Dyke I'd go something like "ya, got a problem with that?" Or "You're just mad more girls like me than you" or whatever and they'd stop. If you don't react or if you pretend to like a slur/nickname, they leave of be because it ain't fun. 

But I also understand when it hurts too much to make it a joke. Like a deadname or something that just shatters your being. Just distance yourself from those people, consult in friends, and remember that they don't matter. The people calling you those ugly things? They don't matter in the long run. Sure, it'll hurt now, but Karma's gonna come collect her debt sometime or another. 

Oh, And beware the Kyles. Kyles always mean bad business. Kyles and Justins. Those are the worst.

Internet hugs and blow kisses!

~Eva