🎶It's actually pretty easy to be nice to a bitter boi like him, so I found myself a citrus friend🎶
Everyone has a red string that connects you to your soulmate on your dominant ring finger.
STORYTIME!
Roman was a very romantic person. He was enamored with then thought of finding his soulmate and having someone who he could unconditionally love. The perfect person for him somehwere out there in the universe. He would always twirl his string around his finger, wanting and waiting for this person to show up so he can swoop in and be their knight in shinning armor. So when everyone heard a new person was moving into their small village, Roman was absolutely certain that this person what going to be his soulmate.
But Roman's string still extended out to the East, never changing even after the day that person moved in. It was sad, and Roman was too depressed the first day they moved in to meet them. He was SO sure that his soulmate was going to move in! But it wasn't! That's so aggravating! By the time that Roman decided not to be so dramatic, he had hear horrible rumors about their new neighbor.
"He's bitter" said Stacy who normally is a sweet as pie. "He's ugly" said Richard, the prettiest boy in town. "He's antisocial and mean" said Darwin, who was the most insecure out of everyone. "He said crazy!" Said Izzie, the craziest old lady around. All these horrible words said about a person couldn't possibly all be true! Roman had to see for himself! So with the courage of a lion and the charm of Neil Patrick Harris, he knocked on the new house's door to greet his new neighbor.
"What do you want?"
A person taller than Roman with slightly less broad shoulders stood in the doorway. They wore baggy black sweatpants and an oversized yellow hoodie. Their face was scared as if they were stuck in a fire and their eyes had two different colors. Their hair was a mess and they had a strong jawline. They definitely had a bitter tone in their voice when talking, but they certainly weren't ugly.
"Hello! My name is Roman and I live just down the street. I know how terribly rude it was of me not to greet you on your first day, however I am here now and that's what matters! Welcome home, friend!"
Roman stuck out his hand so he could shake his neighbor's because formalities. The person rose their eyebrows and looked Roman up and down. Roman had no idea what this person was doing. They finally sighed and gave in, realizing that Roman wasn't going to run away in fear or disgust. They shook Roman's hand, not even bothering to smile or put some effort behind their words.
"Roman, right? Just call me Deceit. Or Dee. Whatever I don't really care. You seem like a good guy so can you do me a solid? Tell everyone to stop calling me a dude. I'm Agender. They/Them pronouns only."
They spat out every word they said as if there was some sort of distain behind them. Roman never assumes someone gender and always defaults with they/them until told otherwise, unlike most people in town. Roman nodded, completely understand and respecting his new Agender friend's wishes. From what he has been told, gender dysphoria is a botch and being misgendered is like someone's stabbing you in the throat. He wouldn't wish that on even his worst enemy!
"Of course, Deceit. I shall see to it that the rest of the townsfolk respect your pronouns. I shall do that now, until we meet again!"
Roman, being the overdramatic little romantic bastard he was, bent down on one knee and quickly kissed their knuckles before leaving to spread the word. Roman left feeling happy and jubilant. The rumors were wrong! Well, most of them. They were a bitter person from what Roman had seen, however they were not ugly nor mean in the slightest! Nor were they crazy at all! Just a bit misunderstood by the public! Now Roman must do his good deed for the day and make sure nobody misgenders his new Agender friend!
Deceit, on the other hand, closed the door. For once they didn't feel dread upon meeting a new person. They're so used to being confronted and greeted with hatred with every new place they move to. Seeing one person be positive towards them made them happy. But they didn't end up going to the sink and scrubbin the knuckles off with sandpaper. Not because they hated the hand kiss, but because the lip gloss that Roman person had on contained an ingredient that made their hand itch like crazy and they were probably allergic.
The next day when Deceit went outside to just get some groceries, the people around the, rent glaring at them like yesterday or the day before yesterday. They just gave them a quick side eye glance and kept on walking rather than making them feel uncomfortable. Was this Roman's doing? Deceit didn't know and didn't care.
After going from from shopping they found Roman sitting on the steps of their porch with a little basket. What on Earth? Deceit approached Roman, who instantly perked up when Deceit was in their line of sight. Well, his line of sight. He had learned that he was a boy using masculine pronouns from the clerk at the grocery store when they started a small conversation to prevent everything from being awkward.
"Hey! Dee! You're finally back! Maria told me she saw you about to head some so I came as soon as I could! I graciously crafted you a housewarming gift! And before you ask: Yes I did make everything by myself! ...except for the food because I'm useless in the kitchen. That was done by my twin little brothers Patton and Virgil. ....and I can't fold oragami so all the oragami was done by my big brother Logan. But everything else was done by me! Promise!"
Deceit saw many different things in there. Homemade cider and tea and some little baked goods like brownies and cookies. Then he saw the oragami cranes in a jar. Was it a hundred or a thousand for a wish? They couldn't remember. Deceit set the basket down and pulled out a crochet blanket of the Agender Pride flag, some crochet animal dolls falling out of it as well as a large canvas of the Agender Pride flag in the background and words saying No gender, no problems. In yellow paint across the top and bottom like a meme. Deceit was literally about to cry at this point.
"Roman... you didn't have to do all this for me..."
"Of course I did! You're a welcome part of this community and I'm genuinely appalled that others in the village tried to disclude you and discriminate against you just because you can be a little bit of a sir-grumps-a-lot in the morning! This is my way of apologizing on their behalf and being a better person!"
Those words meant the world to Deceit. That's when Deceit picked up everything, put everything back in the basket, and noticed a singular lemon. What was this? Deceit lifted it up, examining it. It wasn't crochet or painted. Just a regular old lemon. Roman sighed when he saw it, clearly annoyed.
"Don't mind that. That's just my twin brother Remus being a dickhead."
Deceit laughed when he heard that. He genuinely laughed. That's really funny. For some reason just hearing this guy who claims to be a better person call his own twin brother a dickhead was the most hilarious thing in the entire world. Deceit placed the lemon back in the basket, getting an idea. Maybe that's what they'll do. They'll grow lemons. Everyone calls them bitter, so why not be sour too? Smack life in the face with irony.
Weeks pass and Deceit has grown several lemon trees in their backyard. Roman was really proud of Deceit for everything they've done and accomplished. Sure, most people still avoid them because they're a very sarcastic and pessimistic person, but they tolerate them now and respect their pronouns. Mostly because of Roman himself, not to brag.
So Roman knocked on Deceit's door and found a note. Under the welcome mat. Deceit always does that when they want to meet up with Roman. Roman got giddy and excited, feeling butterflies in his stomach every time he goes to hang out with Deceit. Roman as certain this is what Love feels like. He found a knife and a shriveled up black string under the mat too. Roman read the note.
Listen, I know you love me. I love you too. That's why I cut off my string. We don't need soulmates. I just need you. I don't know about you, but I left the knife here just in case. Throw the knife over the fence if no, come join me in watching the sunset if yes.
~Your Possible Significant Other: Deceit
Roman laughed. Of course Deceit would be all snarky and a know-it-all about it. That's just who they are. In all this excitement of meeting Deceit, he had completely forgotten that he had a soulmate out there that he honestly didn't need. Roman looked at the knife, caught up in his own little romantic tale. He doesn't need a soulmate when he has Deceit.
He flipped open the switch blade
And cut off his red string.
The string went black, shriveling up and falling to the ground. Roman kicked it under the welcome mat where it could be with Deceit's. Sorry, person out there. Roman doesn't need you. There are plenty of people out there with dead soulmates or something you can go find. Roman has the love of his life right here in his hometown and that's all he needs to be happy. Roman stuck the knife in his pocket and walked around the house. He opened the fence and found Deceit sitting on the back patio, surrounded by lemon trees and drinking some of Virgil's Tea and eating some of Patton's cookies. They laughed when they saw Roman.
"I knew you loved me."
Roman rolled his eyes, sitting down next to his now significant other and leaning his head against their shoulder. They stole a cookie and watched as the sun began to set over the horizon. Man, Roman was really glad that Deceit's house faced East. They could watch the sunrise on the front porch and watch the sunset on the back patio every day.
And they can be Lemon Lovers.
1755 Words
I'm actually really proud of this. Like, hELLO IT IS LONG AND WAS REALLY FUN TO WRITE AND IT JUST FELT SO THEREPUDIC LIKE HELLO
Don't judge people by looks. They might be having a bad day. And if they're acting kinda moody, it could just be a bad day. Don't let a bad day define a person. Give them a few chances to prove themselves, then decide if they're a person you want in your life. And for the love of god and all that is holy respect their pronouns. If they say their pronouns are something, respect that. You don't want to make another human being miserable. That's just you being a douche. Respect people's pronouns and give them a couple of chances to prove to you that they're worth it.
Internet hugs and blow kisses!
~Eva