That title alone is a m00d

STORYTIME!

"🎶Loves on the line, winner takes all, when you're ready lET'S BEGIN YEAH THAT'S RIGHT I HEARD YOUR STORY OVER AND OVER AGAIN. GEE, IT'S NICE TO FINALLY MEET YOUR OTHER FRIENDS!🎶"

Virgil was belting to himself, using his personal MacBook to remix the superb swing song from the new Steven Universe movie. Honestly, Villains were hot. Bad boys were hot. Bad girls were to be respected and slay, but Virgil isn't into them romantically. Virgil hummed to himself, bouncing his leg as he listened to the entire work he did. It's only two and a half minutes, but Virgil don't care. He  c r a v e d  more electron swimg covers of Steven Universe songs, so why not make his own ya'know?

While Virgil was bopping to the remix, he didn't hear his door open. He was actually opening up a program that allowed him to draw and animate on his drawing iPad. He wasn't very good at it, but Virgil was slowly getting good at drawing. Oh, this is where we should probably give exposition to the roommate mentioned in the title? That's Dee, full name Deceit. We love name changes. He ran away from his family for reasons unknown and changed his name. He has no last name nor middle name and has nobody who knows who he used to be. Virgil likes creepy pastas so he chose this guy as his roommate hoping to be murdered. 

"Boo."

Virgil didn't even jump like he used to. Deceit would always walk into his room while he was distracted and give him a spook. Ever since he introduced Virgil to horror games and jumpscare games Virgil had become immune. It started with FNAF, but those jump scares were too weak after a while. That backstory doesn't matter. Virgil slid his headphones off his ears and spun around in his little swivel chair to face the much taller and broader male specimen. He was wearing a yellow tank top that said why be transphobic or homophobic when you can mind ya own fucking business and some dark grey sweatpants. Did he just get back from a run? Why didn't he take a shower yet?

"Hey, what's up with you?"

"Came in from my run early because some Visco girls pissed me off. They started complaining about how nobody would ever fall in love with them even though they've probably been side chicks for a million people before then they saw me and saw my shirt and laughed. They tried flirting with me, standing in the way of my path. I didn't even get too far. I told them I was gay but they didn't take no for an answer so I had to smack one and run. Then I came home in a horrid mood, so I thought I'd bug you."

"Don't tell me a story, you idiot. Just go ahead and tell me what actually happened instead of making up a reddit post."

"Ugh, fiiiiine. You always seem to see through whenever I tell you a story, Virgil. I admire that about you. I actually feel really lazy right now and it's a bad day so I just want to flop down, listen to some music, and maybe read some self insert fanfiction about Loki because he's hot. Or motherfucking Dr. Facilier because he's hot too. Villains are just hot."

Ain't that the damn truth! Virgil leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms and smirking. Deceit had admitted defeat. Anybody would know that Deceit had a huge thing for Loki. He has a plushie of him he legit can't sleep without. It was Virgil's birthday present to him last year. Or was it two years ago? Virgil can't exactly remember. Virgil looked over st his computer and closed out his program, shutting the computer down and gesturing for Deceit to find a seat on the floor. 

After Virgil pushed in his chair, he yoinked the blanket off his bed and hedged it to the floor, two throw pillows falling with it. He tossed one to Deceit and hugged the other close to his chest. Deceit knew what was going on. Virgil knew what was going on. The two of them were fanboys, and they both were about to find out the most shameful part of eachother: what fictional characters they are highkey attracted to. 

"Let's play a game. We're going to take turns saying a character crush form out childhood starting out with something Lowkey, then we are going to go up the tier list until we get to some juicy stuff. The first to back out loses, winner chooses where we eat tonight and loser has to pay for it. We keep going until one of us backs out or we both reveal our most embarrassing fictional crush. No real people, no celebrities. Live action characters count. Oh, and you have to explain why that character is attractive to you. No lying. I can tell and you know it. You go first."

Virgil grinned at Deceit, who was rolling his eyes at this game. Still, Deceit would never back out of a challenge. Deceit adored these games, and the fact that he was almost broke meant that he had to win. He didn't want to have to pay for dinner tonight again! And since winner chooses dinner Virgil is probably going to want Chinese takeout....

"Fine. Starting Lowkey, hmmm? Well, I always had quite the fascination with Professor Layton. He's smart and has a good job. Not to mention that he's brittish. His voice always made me feel safe and sleepy when playing his games as kid. I always had little dreams of going on a little date to get tea and walking around London, maybe solving a few puzzles for Nana Banana and being a good friend to Luke. Also his entire aesthetic was charming to me. Keep in mind I was innocent when I was into him."

Virgil couldn't imagine Deceit being innocent, but whatever. That was a really good one to start out with. Video games is a nice topic. How about we start with the first video game Virgil ever played?

"I had a thing for Morty from Pokémon Crystal. Ghost types were just so cool and I like do how his sprite looked. Then I got Pokémon soul silver and I loved his redesign. I'd be a liar if I said I never read or wrote self insert fanfics about me and him. He also has this really cool scarf and his blonde hair is nice. He seemed mysterious and cool and I really dug the purple. Your go, Deceit."

Deceit saw a clear topic of video games, so he decided to branch a little bit more on that. The escalation of embarrassing crushes has to go higher, doesn't it? What if he made the stakes so high right off the bat. He was already thinking of what he wanted to eat for dinner. He would make Virgil pay for steakhouse. No, that's too cruel for his taste. But Virgil didn't know that. He smirked devilishly, thinking back to all the cringe fandoms he used to be in. Oh, he knows a good one. It's embarrassing and everyone will judge him for it, but it's a deal breaker.

"Discord and King Sombra from My Little Pony. I'm a slut for villains. Oh, and anti-heroes."

Virgil spat out nonexistent tea, eyes as wide as dinner plates. How could Deceit say that with no shame!? That is really embarrassing. Deceit just hummed as if he didn't just say that. Those are two VERY cringe statements right there. Virgil felt his palms get sweaty, yet his knees weren't weak so he couldn't get some of mama's spaghetti. Virgil really didn't want to pay for dinner. He just knew that Deceit was going to want some sort of classy uptight meal that's hella expensive and Virgil doesnt have the money for that. Virgil bit his bottom lip, in panic before he realized he has a good one up his sleeve. Wait, two good ones! Uh, just in case.

"King Dice from Cuphead: Don't Deal with the Devil. He's headstrong and fucking hot as hell. Again, really dog the purple and he's a classy bitch. He's also a villain which I, too, am an omega slut for. Checkmate."

Virgil wrapped it up with awkward finger guns, already watering at the mouth for that crab Rangoon. Deceit didn't seem to falter. Did he have some sort of backup plan? Oh no. Oh no. O h  n o.  Virgil had forgotten about that one phase Deceit went through during his childhood. Ne had forgotten that Deceit had a  f u r r y  p h a s e .

"Oh, you want to go there? I used to have a crush on Asgore from Undertale right in the middle of puberty. I think that is enough said. I also had a huuuuuge crush on Megamind himself. I also had a thing for James from Team Rocket in the Pokémon anime, Dally from the Outsiders, Motherfucking Underlust AU Sans, and the worst one I think I ever had was Freddy Fazbear during puberty. I did the thing with my thing to NIGHTMARE Freddy Fazbear. Checkmate, Virgil. You're buying me Wendy's."

Deceit wins. Virgil threw his hands up in defeat and went to search for his wallet. He refused to go any deeper than that mess. Deceit smirked while Virgil's back to him. Every single crush listed in that list was a lie. Well, except James and Megamind those two were fire. But the entire Freddy Fazbear thing? Yeah. It was a lie.

Deceit really wanted Wendy's.

1600 Words

No words.

Just.

This exists now.

~Eva