i've wanted to leave for so long

but i keep finding reasons why i love this place

are they lies i've told myself to get me through it?

or are they true.

well now it doesn't matter does it?

_____

"i'm already sad and we haven't even gotten into the building yet" i say

"it's gonna be a long week" Maddie says

we get to the studio and mom just has so much Abby Lee merch

"well i'm a Abby Lee supporter today" mom says

"you cleaning out your closets Melissa are you getting rid of all your Abby Lee stuff so you can start fresh and clean" Jill laughs
"so what do you wish for this week?" Jess asks

"just a good week with everyone, hopefully we have some really good dances and i also hope that Abby doesn't scream at any of us" Maddie says

"that's easy wishes" mom says

"very easy" Jess says

"and it will be nice going into the last week we could be on our absolute fabulous behaviour" Holly says

"we need to tell the mini moms that" Kendall says

"well they're nit really apart of the team" Holly says

"we just need to ignore them just saying" mom says

we go on in and go stretch in the dancers den

"i have a rule we can't cry until the competition" Kenzie says

"okay bet" i say

we all laugh

|Pyramid|
"okay let's go pyramid time, we were at Sheer Talent at francers California the only group routine that won were the minis" Abby says

we clap for the minis

"i thought it was fun i thought it was sassy so we're gonna do headshots tomorrow"

"so if you're doing headshots for the minis does that mean that they're a team?" Jess asks

"well they could be" Abby says

"but i don't think they can fully replace us because we were the originals" Maddie says

"we aren't trying to replace anybody though" Sari says

"so you think we just shouldn't replace you we should just throw in the towel cause you're throwing in the towel?" Abby asks

"she's not throwing in the towel? Maddies not throwing in the towel" mom says

"no no you don't whatever you want it's your team i'm saying like" Maddie starts

"she's saying and i agree there will never be another Maddie, Kayla and Mackenzie or Melissa like never" Jess says

"but there's other stars life goes on had Melissa had any one of her kids at the five studios within my studio these three kids
wouldn't be here right now i am the vehicle to get these kids from their average middle humdrum lives in Pittsburgh Pennsylvania to the great white way and i did that" Abby says

i bite my lip

"on the bottom of the pyramid Brynn, you got third place"

"next we have Kendall, you don't pay attention to details in the choreography"

"next we have JoJo, i still think you have work to do on your lyrical quality of your dancing"

"next we have Nia, Nia uh i thought you were good other people were better"

"next we have Mackenzie, you tried really hard not to look like a little kid you did well"

"next we have Kalani, Kalani outstanding in the group routine"

"and next we have Maddie uh i tired to create a winner for the past six years i did that"

"and on top of the pyramid we have Kayla, for six years i wanted a star and you were my little star for six years"

i smile

"this week we are going to Riverside California to attend New York Dance Experience now you know this is the competition where they slap you in the face with those critiques right after you finish dancing..uh there's gonna be incredible kids there" Abby says

"we really need to bring it you will do a hip hop routine in the competition this weekend"

we all cheer

"the name of your routine is the Boss Ladies but just remember you're not the boss of me i am the boss of you"

"Mackenzie you have a solo this week" Abby says

we cheer for Kenzie..her last solo

"the name of your routine is called Hero it is of course a jazz acrobatic routine"

"Maddie you'll perform the second solo"

we clap for Maddie

"the name of your piece is Hostage"

"Kayla you'll perform my third solo"

i smile and everyone claps

"it is entitled Enchanted"

i nod and Maddie hugs me

"i also have a trio..so for the second and last time ever, Maddie, McKayla and Mackenzie will be performing a trio" Abby says

i beam

"oh i'm going to cry" mom says

Maddie pulls me and Kenzie into a hug

"it's entitled Always Together." Abby says

"my mini group will be doing a jazz routine entitled Kiss Kiss now Kendall you did a kiss dance years ago we are using that same music" Abby says

"aww" Kendall says

"so you'll be fimilar with the music so you'll be assisting Gianna with the details" Abby says

Kendall smiles and nods

"last but certainly not least Ari you are doing lyrical piece dedicated to your brother..Sari do you mind sharing with everybody your sons story" Abby asks

"sorry it's really sad..so i have my son at three months exactly we had to have open heart surgery and um six days he went into cardiac arrest he suffered a brain injury so he was dead for almost an hour and now he doesn't walk, he doesn't talk i know that god gave my daughter a gift to dance and it would be different if she was just an average i wouldn't do all this but it makes me happy" Sari says

"right let's tell a beautiful story that's Jordan's" Abby says

"alright uh that's it we have our work cut out for us"

"Abby um before we walk out this is Maddie, Kayla and Mackenzies last week is there anything special that you have planned" Holly asks

"absolutely nothing." Abby says

well that's that said.

|Solo Rehearsals|
my final solo this week is entitled Enchanted and it's to the song Enchanted by Taylor swift

it has a lot of turns and emotion and i think it's a really good solo to end it off

at the end of the routine i do a leap to the floor and i out my hand on my heart

"pretty" Abby says

|Two Days To Competition|
|Solo Rehearsals|
we learn the group dance and i absolutely love the group dance

"make this nice an low boom, boom, boom, baoh" Guy calls out

i make sure to give all the sass

|Trio Rehearsals|
"this is your last ever trio..now you only had one before and it won so i absolutely expect the same from this one" Abby says

we learn the trio and it's gorgeous it's to the song Always Together by Little Mix

and the dance has a lot of partner work and emotion and i'm just so happy we can dance jus the three of us on our last week

|One Day To Competition|
|Group Rehearsals|
"five, six ,seven, eight.. Kayla goes" Abby calls out

and we go firm the top of the routine

"sexy! right there that face has to be hot!" Abby calls out

"match JoJo!"

"oh my god what is mentally wrong with you?" Abby then calls out

well this is fun for our last rehearsal..

|Competition Day|
we arrive at the competition and me and Maddie walk hand in hand..this is it our final competition.

"what are you wearing?" Kenzie asks as the moms come by

"we are in mourning for what we are about to do" Jill says

"so you know what please don't take this the wrong way but we want to arrive as the elite competition team for one final time so would you just let us have a second  last moment to just walk in together as a team and we'll meet you upstairs later?" Holly asks

"the ones who started it all think about it the ones who have paved the way for little people to come in" Jill says

"exactly" Holly says

"this is our team so we just wanna have a day with this today" Jess says

"we'll meet you upstairs later" Holly says

we walk into the competition and i squeeze Maddies hand

we head up to our dressing room

"how is everybody? Melissa how are you doing?" Abby asks

"i'm good" mom says

"you're good? you're relishing in the moment" Abby says

me, Maddie and Kenzie get ready for our final solos

Kaylas solo costume:

"Maddie" i say

"what" she asks

"remember like three years ago we made some promise we'd do eachothers makeup every time for our solos but we broke it after like the fourth week" i ask

"oh yeah" Maddie laughs

"we should do it for one final time just to like complete our ten year old self promises" i say

"we should" Maddie says and she grabs the makeup

Maddie does my makeup first

"you're making me feel like i'm ten again" i say

"good!" Maddie smiles

i then do Maddies makeup

"all done" i say

"thank you" Maddie smiles

"come on girls everybody up there that's dancing" Abby calls

we walk up to Abby

"this is a big honour for you guys, Areana when you're out on that stage people are going to think are you as good as Mackenzie when she was that age i don't know now remember when you do something that is epic and it's a story it takes more thought then doing a hip and a leg and a kick so take them somewhere else let them know who you are and what you're about" Abby says

we walk backstage

"not even a pep talk for us" i say

"nope"  Maddie says

Areana enters for her solo first

her solo this week is absolutely gorgeous

and her brother is here to see her!

Areana finishes her solo

and Ari gets to explain why her solo is special and it's really sweet.

us junior girls get into a circle

"we never through this day would come this is the last competition with you guys so have fun these are gonna be solid solos onstage today" Kalani says

"i love you guys" i say

Kenzie gets ready to go on

"you better go out there and nail it because you were just a little six year old in mouse costume." i say

"ew stop" Kenzie says

"i'm being serious i'm so proud of you Kenz i love you" i say

"love you too" Kenzie says

Kenzie enters for her solo

"we can't cry yet we have to go onstage" Maddie says

"i know" i say

Kenzie starts her solo and she is still the little firecracker she's always been.

Kenzie finishes her solo and i cheer for her

the judges critique her and she exits the stage crying

"Kenzie don't make me cry" i say

Nia and Kendall give Maddie pep talks before

"you're gonna nail it you've been nailing it for the past six years and before i love you" i say and i hug Maddie

"Maddie, don't suck okay" Kalani says

i start laughing

"okay." Maddie smiles

Maddie enters for her solo

and i'm so nervous

Maddie is absolutely killing this solo

i'm gonna miss seeing her dance a solo onstage every weekend

Maddie finishes her solo and i have to blink away tears

i cheer for her so loud

the judges tell her how well she did and that her technique is flawless

Maddie exits the stage and starts crying

and i hug Maddie so tight

then she hugs

"i just saw my mom crying in the audience" Maddie says

i take breath and i get ready to go onstage

Maddie comes over to me still crying

"so this is it..you need to show them how amazing you are from the little girl who did a cheerleader themed routine to this i love you so much okay?" Maddie says

"i love you too" i say

"please welcome entry number 129 Enchanted" the announcer says

i enter the stage and i already see mom crying

my music starts and i give it my all

i put so much emotion into this routine and that everything is just flawless

i do my final turns into my ending pose and i see my mom crying

they all stand up to clap and i smile and i stand up

Rachelle comes on and gives me a hug

"your performance is so incredible i really saw your emotion through out and your technique was absolutely flawless you have such a talent" one of the judges say

"thank you" i smile

"Kayla Ziegler everyone!" Rachelle says and the crowd cheers

i beam and we walk offstage

i hug Maddie and i start crying

"that was so hard" i cry

"i know you looked beautiful" Maddie says

i just keep crying then i hug the other girls

we all go to our moms and i hug mom

"i said i wasn't gonna cry but i cried" Kenzie says

"it hit me when i saw Nia, Kendall and Kalani and everyone" Maddie says

"i saw mom crying as soon as i entered and i was ready to cry" i say

Maddie, Kenz and I get ready for our trio

Trio costume: ( Maddie in the Cyan, Kenzie in the dark blue and Kayla in the light blue)

"oh look at you girls" mom says

"you girls look beautiful" Holly says

"don't cry mom okay?" Kenzie says

"we all know that's impossible" Kalani says

i start laughing

we all go backstage and Maddie pulls me and Kenzie into a circle

"i love you both so much..you guys are honestly the best people in my life and i'm so grateful i did this experience with you both" Maddie says and she squeezes my hand

"we have to go out there and make this trio amazing..we never got do this often and we have to go out with a bang" Kenzie says
"i love you both, let's go out there and show the world that The Zieglers are the best trio" i say

"please welcome to the stage entry number 197 Always Together" the announcer says

Maddie takes Kenzies hand and i take Kenzies other hand and we enter the stage

we get into our starting positions and we start the number

i give my all i make sure my emotion is off the charts

and that my technique and turns are the best they've ever been

we finish the routine and the crowd cheers and i see mom bawling

Rachelle comes onstage and Maddie stands beside Rachelle

Then me and Kenzie stand beside Maddie

"you guys have a beautiful connection, i always love when sisters do trios together because you can see the trust you have and it was so so beautiful wonderful job ladies" a judge says

i beam

"Maddie, McKayla and Mackenzie Ziegler everyone!" Rachelle cheers

we exit the stage and we do a hug and i start crying

"don't make me cry Kayla i swear" Maddie warns

"i can't help it..it was our last trio" i say as i wipe my eyes

"we can make them up at home" Kenzie says

"not the same" i say

we head to the dressing room and mom gives us the biggest hug

"i could not be prouder" mom says

we get ready for the group routine

"Party Party Party to Boss Ladies" i say as we enter back into the dressing room

"i wanna say a few things this will be the last time that i uh work with Maddie,Kayla and Mackenzie it's exciting it's fun it's wonderful it's kinda like you graduate from high school you're off to something maybe not better maybe not bigger maybe different but you're excited about it so it's not a bad thing it's not a sad thing it's a maybe perhaps for some of you a blessing in disguise you never know what your future holds" Abby says

we then head backstage for the group

Abby is going so well for the pep talks.

the minis enter for their group

and they are so cute and it's a but weird to hear

Kendall's old solo music

they finish their dance and exit the stage

"okay let's shake it off" Kalani says

we do our handshake for the final time

and we all hug

"this has been the best six years of my life withy you guys not maybe not so much the um stressful part but to be with you every day." Maddie says

"as i said from Party Party Party to Boss Ladies let's do this" i say

"small group entry number 128 Boss Ladies" the announcer says

i enter the stage first and i get into my starting position

our music starts and we start the routine i make sure to absolutely give all the sass

i make sure all my moves are sharp and i give my full energy

we finish off the routine and i think we killed it

"hello my ladies how are yall?" the judge asks

"good" we say

"i just want to commesne you guys, you guys look amazing i thought it was great from beginning to end it was everything" the judge says

we exit the stage and i give the girls a hug

|Awards|
for the junior solos

Areana for second

and Kenzie didn't even place

"i feel bad for Kenz" i whisper

"same" Maddie whispers

"our top senior soloist of the day" the announcer says

i take Maddies hand

"in second place that's going out to number 127 The Hostage"

i clap for Maddie as she gets her award

"our top place senior soloist off the day taking it home with an incredible perfect score of 300 that's going out too 128 Enchanted"

i beam and i get up to get my trophy

i smile to Maddie and she gives me the biggest hug we take a bow and we sit back down

what a way to end it, a perfect score !

"moving into our junior duo/trios" the announcer says

i take Maddies hand and Maddie reaches over to Kenz

they announce the top nine and it hasn't been us

please let us win..please let us win

"first place junior duo/trios entry number 197 Always Together"

i squeal and me, Maddie and Kenz stand up to get our award

Kenzie takes the award and we all hug before sitting down

for the mini groups they got first place!

"the top senior group"

i take Maddies hand

"can we get a big drum roll"

we all do a drum roll

"here it is top senior group off the day it goes out too 138 Boss Ladies!"

we cheer and i hug Maddie

we won!

"i would like Maddie, Kayla and Mackenzie Ziegler to come up here and join me" Rachelle says

i smile and we get up and stand beside Rachelle

"we just want to bring some beautiful flowers for you" Rachelle says

Kalani hands me these huge roses and i giver her a hug

"the thing is it's important for us to acknowledge young dancers and especially these girls and this show has changed dance a lot how many hours do you put in that studio?" Rachelle asks

"a lot" Maddie says

"is it easy to be great?" Rachelle asks

"no" i say 

"no is it easy at home to give up this sacrifice and other things to be great?" Rachelle asks

"no" Kenzie says

"and these girls have been glorious rolemodels all of them" Rachelle

i blink away tears and i smile

"i want to say one thing, Abby always said that everyone is replaceable right? and she's always said it i've heard her say it for years and im gonna say i completely disagree because these girls are irreplaceable"

i start to cry

"they are wonderful and we celebrate you..Melissa i'd like you to come up here please so make your way to the stage" Rachelle says and mom makes her way to the stage

"how are you Melissa?"

"struggling a little bit" mom says

"anything you want to say from your heart for having these three wonderful girls" Rachelle asks

"i'll try i just wanna thank...Abby for everything you've done for my kids over the years and Gia i adore you like a daughter i'm sorry" mom says

"Maddie and Kayla is gonna take it from here" Rachelle says

"i just wanna thank Abby, Gia and all my other dance moms and all the girls" Maddie says

"um thank you to every single dance teacher i've ever trained with and to all the girls who've came and went thank you for everything" i say

and i start to cry more

"Mackenzie" Rachelle says

"i also wanna thank them too but it's just really hard to leave but i can't" Kenzie says

"thank you, well we just want you too know that your life has been shared with us and it's been touched forever" Rachelle says

i look to Maddie and we just cry i can't believe it's over.

we come back to the dressing room and the moms decorated the room full off balloons and a cake!

we all cheer and run to the balloons

"there's a party popper!" i say and i pull it to Maddie

Maddie flinches and i laugh

and the moms got us tiffany & co

"oh my gosh!" i squeal

"it's from everyone" Jess says

"thank you so much" Maddie says

"guys we're cutting the cake!" Kenzie says

"partayyy!" Jill says

we cut the cake and we eat some

"oh it's so good" i say

"do you wanna say anything before they walk out the door Abby?" Holly asks

"i don't really have final words because there's no finale let's say" Abby says

"what about words for the next chapter?" Holly asks

"we're gonna have a little break you need to practise you need to work hard what i expect of you is legs straight feet pointed hyperextended shoulders down everybody's gonna grow a little taller" Abby says

"uh Maddie, Kayla, Mackenzie you did solos for the ALDC as your teacher i saw mistakes" Abby says

"really?" Holly says

i look down

"Maddie when you step out onstage i feel like you weren't sure if your head was down or you weren't look straight where you were walking..Kayla i felt like you weren't sure of your spacing and Mackenzie all this all gyrading pulsing section that's your moment to strut out there uh i really didn't see that" Abby says

i bite my lip

"i thought they did really well today" Jess says

"they did" Holly says

Maddie gets up and i start to follow

"where you going?" Abby asks

"to change." Maddie says

we walk out and i sigh

"she's in denial" Maddie says

"i know" i say

"six years done." i smile

"yup." Maddie says

"what a ride." i say

"the most insane ride ever" Kenzie says

"most definitely." i laugh

six years done..i cannot believe it's all over this has been the craziest and most amazing experience i think i've ever had and i got to do it alongside my sisters and my best friends.
Dance Moms over and out!

i smile and i wipe away a few tears