Based on hc from

Tw: abandonment issues, self hatred, child neglect/abuse, implied/referenced death

The meeting room is empty which is fine, just means he's a little early. It's upsetting for a moment, thinking maybe he'd missed the meeting. Though he'd never admit it, the meetings meant a lot to him. It was stupid but he didn't think he'd talk to any of them without the meetings and he doesn't want to picture his life without them. The empty chairs around him do nothing to help.

He takes a deep breath and looks up, focusing on anything but the memories threatening to overwhelm him. He thinks about how uncomfortable it is to lean back in a chair with a back taller than he is sitting down, then about how blank the ceiling looks, he could probably paint something on it. He's pulled from planning decorations for the ceiling by someone speaking to him.

"You're here early." It's ridiculous to feel as relieved as he does but he lets out a breathless laugh anyway, nodding slightly.

He doesn't say anything after that, too embarrassed to think of something funny to say, absentmindedly tracing patterns on the table, he thinks DC probably hates him now. Had he been looking at DC he would've seen the concern in DC's expression.

They sit in silence for a moment, then DC scribbles something on a paper in front of him and Florida glances up curiously for a moment before he remembers it's none of his business. He goes back to tracing patterns on the table and hopes someone else will come in soon.

"Everything alright?" DC asks, "Florida?"

Florida jumps slightly, wincing when his nails scratch the table, "y-yeah, yep- dude, I'm- I'm chilling, doing- doing great." He sighs softly and lets his hands fall to his lap, mentally berating himself for saying so much. He's sure what little respect DC might've had for him is gone now.

"Alright," Florida doesn't like his tone but doesn't interupt, "the others should be here soon." It's silent again and Florida tries to put the image of the empty table out of his mind, putting his head in his hands. "If you aren't feeling well, you can skip today, it's fine if you need a break." Florida grunts and shakes his head, it's DC's way of asking him nicely to leave but he needs to know the table won't stay empty, needs to know he didn't lose anyone else.

California comes in after and he can hear them talking about something but can't understand anything they're saying. The table is still there but instead of the table from the meeting room, it's the table from his father's house, empty after his siblings left and because his father never liked him. It's going to happen again, he's going to cause a problem in a meeting and go too far and they're going to leave him, just like his mother, just like his siblings, just like his father.

"Florida?" DC's talking to him again and he can't take it anymore.

He squeezes his eyes shut and runs his hands through his hair as his call kicks in. He sobs as soon as he's sure he's away from the meeting. It's stupid, stupid to have gotten so upset and stupid to leave like that.

He tries the breathing techniques his therapist gave him and tries to replace the image of the empty table and everything it means for him. The breathing techniques help him stop feeling trapped in his own body but he still feels like he's wasting the other's time and lying to them becuase they haven't left him yet. He takes another deep breath, the way his therapist said would help, and feels the anxiety lessen slightly each time he does so. Then he goes back to replacing the picture, when he finds it too difficult he decides he owes DC an apology.

Seeing the door brings everything he's been trying to avoid back and he wants to turn around, wants to just go back and pretend he can sleep his problems away but he knows if he walks away now then he'll never do it. He takes a steadying breath and walks in. His heart catches in his throat at the sight of the empty meeting table.

The door opens again behind him and he can't bring himself to turn around. His heart is pounding in his ears and he feels numb but none of it is worse than the thought that they'll leave too, that they'll see him the way he sees himself. Then someone is talking and he's moving, over to the seat next to DC's instead of his usual seat across from DC. It's DC leading him over, with a gentle hand on his shoulder and small reassurances he thinks will help.

Florida sits when he gestures to the seat, drumming his fingers on his leg and looking anywhere but at DC as he tries the breathing techniques again.

DC gives him a moment, focusing on paperwork and glancing over occasionally when it doesn't sound like the breathing techniques are helping.

When he's finally settled, DC sets down the pen and checks that all the papers are in order before setting them aside too.

"Are you alright?" DC speaks softly, keeping his hands on the table where Florida can see them, "Is there anyway I can help?"

Florida's fingers twitch for a moment, before he shakes his head, "I'm alright," DC gives him a look and opens his mouth to speak, but Florida continues, "I just came to apologize. I feel bad I ruined the meeting," then he pauses, becuase really, that's what he always did. "Sorry that I- that I annoy you guys so much and ruin every meeting, I just- I don't know, I really like you guys- that sounds weird," he laughs and it sounds wrong and out of place, even to him, "sorry- I just- I don't know, it's what I usually do around uh- I don't know, people I like, the jokes that is- I-I really don't mean to hurt you guys it's just-just how I am but that doesn't mean that-that you guys have to put up with that or-or with me." There it is. Exactly what he's been afraid of since the meetings started, afraid of them seeing him, just him, and hating it. Now he's shown that to DC, shown that it isn't just in meetings or around them, that it's constant, that he's always chaotic and mischievous. Now DC would leave him, because he was too much and not enough all at once, because he didn't deserve his place in meetings.

He's crying, he realizes when DC hands him a tissue. He shakes his head, wiping his eyes with his hands, he wasn't supposed to be crying anyway.

"Are you alright with touch?" He nods, even though he's still struggling not to cry. DC pulls him closer, wrapping his arms around Florida and gently cradling his head with one hand. Florida clings to DC like DC will disappear if he lets go and sobs, sobs like it's everything he's been missing because it is. He went his entire life without any sort of affection from his parents and most of his life with siblings that hated him, then lost anyone that could give him this. He clings to DC and sobs without caring how he looks because DC didn't turn him away, didn't say he hates him or throw him out. He sobs because DC sees everything he hates in himself and embraces him anyway.

He sobs because he finally feels safe and he knows DC won't leave him.