Guess who's shitposting again

featuring me messing up Claire's character (sorry Liz)

Florida: Uh oh!
Florida: Good Samaritan alert!
Florida: What a fucking
Florida: D W E E B
Utah: [dad sigh]

Florida: Bees are really cool
Florida: I like bees :)
a bee: bzz bzz
Florida, shaking and crying: please don't hurt me

Florida: But I wanted them to put cheese on my hamburger
Florida: So I kept asking for cheese on my hamburger
Florida: So they were like "So a cheeseburger?"
Florida: And I was like "no, a hamburger with added cheese"

[For context, Cali and New York are props, Florida is a dog and Louisiana is dat boi]
Florida: I want you to describe the smells you have around you
California: Wet dog
Florida: Wet
New York: Wet dog?
California: Wet dog
Louisiana: So Florida are you near him?
Louisiana: Are you wet right now?
Florida: Yeah

Florida: [walks in]
Florida: oh
Florida: hey
California: Sir
California: Sir this is a walgreens stop it

Louisiana: No, the whole thing is for Cali now, fuck Florida
Everyone else: [who are you and what have you done with Louisiana]

Alabama, texting: if you could go anywhere in the world right now, where would you go?
Indiana: where are you?
Alabama: stop, I have a fucking reputation dammit

Florida: My hands are cold.
Mass: [holds his hands] There you go.
Florida: Huh, for some reason my lips are getting cold too.

Spain/Mexico: I think the words you're searching for are "I'm sorry."
Utah: The words I'm searching for I can't say because my children are present.
Spain/Mexico: But they're-
Utah: my children

Florida: Can you get me a bottle of beer?
California: It's breakfast, Florida. It's 6am!
Florida: And a slice of toast.

Colorado: Where did Florida go yesterday?
California: DC decided he should go to see a therapist.
Colorado: Really? How did it go?
California: Well...I mean...the therapist is now seeing a therapist so...

Florida: And it's so crazy how in 240 bc, was able to calculate the circumference of the Earth-
Mark: Why don't we talk about your father-
Florida: No

Florida: Maybe I'm hard to love
Mark: Good, be hard for abusers to love
Florida: :0

[playing murder mystery]
Florida: [runs at Claire with the knife]
Claire: NO
Claire: [runs into the women's bathroom]
Florida, realizing: Oh shit
Louisiana, spectating: Oh no
Claire: I'm in the bathroom, you can't come in
Florida: This SUCKS
Florida: NO
Florida: NO
Florida: Dude
Florida: Can we- can we end the round or something
Florida, crouching near the door: Alright, I'm gone
California, also spectating: Knock or something
Claire: Who's there
Florida: Uh pizza delivery
Louisiana: Alright, one of you's gotta do something
Louisiana: Florida can't go in there and Claire can't come out
Claire: I'm sorry, I'm in the bathroom right now
Louisiana:
Louisiana: Alright, Florida is...oh Florida's outside, he left
Florida: I'm gonna go drive my I hate cats car
Claire: I'm gonna open the door and he's going to be crouched outside or something
Louisiana, Florida, and California: no
Claire: [opens the door]
Louisiana: He's not there
Claire: [continues to open the door]
Florida: It's gonna be a jumpscare one day
Claire: [opens the door]
Louisiana: He's not there
Florida, holding the sword: [stands in front of the door]
Claire: I SEE HIS SWORD
Louisiana: Oh you fucked up man
Florida: Alright [goes into the men's bathroom] Alright FINE
Florida: now she can't shoot me
California: I guess
Florida: Jokes on you
California: I guess
Florida: What are you gonna do?
Florida: Can't get me in the boys room
Florida: We're at a stalemate idiot
California: This is the longest round we've had
California: This is the stupidest round we've had too
Claire: Jokes on you I don't even have the gun
Claire: I'm in the girls bathroom there so you can't get me
Louisiana: Wait, Florida, you don't have to go in there, you could just open the door-
Florida: What if I was to get shoved in by the force of a ghost
Claire: Hypothetically
Louisiana: Okay, I am now possessing you Florida
Louisiana: Oogabooga
Louisiana: Okay, I'm first person inside of Florida
Louisiana: I am going to open the door for you
Louisiana: Alright come on
Louisiana: I'll move one leg
Claire: no
Claire: no
Claire: You're not allowed
Claire: You're not allowed
Louisiana, once Florida is through the door: alright, I'm not possessing you anymore
Florida: [turns around and leaves]
Louisiana: God damn it
Louisiana: Somebody fucking do something
Claire: You can't come in but I can open the door
Claire: You can't come in
California: Literally, don't walk in, she's close enough to where you can kill her
Florida: [stands outside swinging the knife]
Claire, backing away: I'm gonna go to the bathroom now I'm sorry
Louisiana: Oh my god
California: It's a video game Florida it's not real life there's no laws here
California: There's no laws, you could just go in and kill her
Florida: YEAH BUT THE GROUPCHAT IS GONNA CALL ME A PERV
California: It's also illegal to murder-
Florida: [runs in and stabs her]
Claire: nO
Louisiana:
Louisiana: Florida it's really pervy that you came in there
Claire: Yeah what the heck Florida
Florida: [staring down in disappointment]
California: Yeah that's really messed up Florida

Edit: removed quotes