Gov: Everybody gonna jail
Gov: 2020 is the year man

Florida: Top ten things you should pay more attention to
Florida: Starting with number one
Florida: me

Florida: Dude, I was just in the bathroom all by myself and I just pulled an epic private prank
Florida: [waving his finger] No one's allowed to see it though
Florida: That shit was private

Florida: It's time to prank
Florida: It's crime time
Louisiana: I'd say it's prime time for a crime time

California: [reviews his legal options]
Florida: What are they gonna do? Sue me?

Gov: We've got everyone here today...except Alaska.... apparently
Gov, looking around: Where is he?
Alaska, right next to him: Am I just not here to you guys?
Gov: hOLY SHIT-
Gov: I didn't even see you there
Alaska: yeah hey man

Louisiana: Out of stock? What's out of stock?
Florida: Game stop

Gov: Wait, there's mini golf?
Louisiana: Yeah, there's mini golf
Gov: Sorry, I wasn't listening
Gov: This is a pool, jackass
Louisiana: Yeah, I know
[at the same time] Louisiana: Keep going/Florida: keep walking
Gov, excited: [gasps] Oh! Look at the mini golf!
Florida: no, that's a pool
Gov: Don't sass me young man

[in murder mystery]
Florida, with the gun: Everyone into the pool
Gov: [dives in immediately]
Texas: Are you a life guard?
Florida: Did anyone eat thirty minutes ago
Gov: Yes, me, Loui, and Texas
Louisiana: I'm eating right now
Texas: I finished eating right before this game started
Florida: You're all gonna drown
New York: [stabs California]
Everyone else: :0
New York: Cali drowned! Cali drowned!
Texas: Oh he didn't eat though! He didn't eat!

Louisiana: [does a trick shot]
California: Oh you're sick-
Florida: He's sick? Loui, are you alright?

The other states: [having a party]
California: I'm having a terrible time

Florida: I'm a murderer not a killer
Gov: That's the same fucking thing
Florida: no it's not

Florida: Hey, do you wanna buy a watch
Gov: Florida-
Gov: fuck
Gov: yeah, I would like to buy a watch
Gov: What are you selling?
Florida: I've got a Rolex
Florida: and I got a honda
Texas: That one has Mickey on it, that's not a Rolex
Louisiana: [gasps] oh wait- get the Mickey one
Gov: I actually can't move-
Florida: yeah
Florida: you're gonna have to buy a watch

Louisiana: I love you-
Louisiana: I love you man-
Florida: okay okay okay-
Louisiana: I love you-
Florida: We got this bro
Louisiana:
Louisiana: I just got left on read

Florida: I heard you're the birthday boy :)
Gov: Yeah, I-
Florida: [pulls out a baton]
Gov: [fear]

Gov: I just promised these guys there would be no bikini stuff and you walk out in a hula skirt
Florida: I almost didn't have my pants on either

Florida: I'm ready if you're ready
Gov: I'm ready to ask you to leave the meeting

Louisiana: Alright, thank you all for coming to Florida's funeral
Louisiana: It's been a while but I have his last will and testament that I should read
Louisiana: I don't know why people are clapping, that's fucked up
Louisiana, reading: originally, I had the plan to keeping all the money, but now
Louisiana: I dead
Louisiana: so there told me that I have to makes a plan to giving all my money away because they won't letting me sleep with it like in the old Egypt
Gov: What?
Louisiana, pausing: I don't speak Floridian
Louisiana, reading again: I am a pharaoh
Louisiana: okay? well I was but then I went and died
Louisiana: okay, to the first order of business
Louisiana: one, for gator I want to be murdered as sacrifice so I can
Louisiana, turning the paper: so I can
Louisiana: so I- that-
Louisiana, giving up: the fuck
Florida, behind the couch: [making faces]
New York: [trying not to laugh]
Louisiana: Fuck it we're going to two
Louisiana: you can spend my money to get everyone's in the room a mcchicken and the rest of it please recycling
Louisiana: number three
Louisiana: I want you guys to frame Cali for my death
Louisiana: For my house I want your guys to sell it on the ebay then use my money to help frame Cali
Louisiana: I have a large debts of I don't know that word
Louisiana: If he can contact you for that, my money
Louisiana: and- [looks over and sees Florida behind the others]
The others: [turn to see what he's looking at]
Gov: Oh my god! Ah! Ghost!
Louisiana: You're alive?!
Louisiana: that's all I got [tosses the paper]
New York: The whole time I just saw Florida making faces behind you
California: The whole time?!
Gov: I didn't know he was there!
New York: Yeah, the whole time

Gov: [tackles Florida]
Florida: Sir! Sir! My window is at a reasonable level! My window is at a reasonable level!

Florida, with a gator puppet: Well hi there Cali! How ya doin?
Florida: It's me! Gary the gator!
Florida: I got a question for ya!
California: What is it, Gary?
Florida: Do you know what happened to Tennessee?
California, looking down: Yeah...
Florida: 'Cause I do
California, looking back up: What happened?
Gov: Oh my gosh, that is a real knife
California: Oh my- that's a real knife
Florida: It is!
California: Oh my god!
Florida: Now! You wanna talk? About your restaurant?
California: I'm good man
Florida: okay

Louisiana: Good squire!
Florida: SIR!
Louisiana: Do you see what I see here?
Florida: It looks like someone who is not part of the kingdom!
Louisiana: Are you not part of the kingdom?! [swings his sword near DC's legs]
Louisiana: Why are you not part of the kingdom?! [swings his sword again]
Florida: You seem like you have a fine butt!
Gov: I gave my application!
Louisiana: I disagree!
Gov: No, I sent my application!
Louisiana: I disagree, sir!
Gov: You denied me!
Louisiana, swinging his sword: Of course I denied you! You're not part of the kingdom!
Louisiana: [turns to Florida] He's not part of the kingdom good squire
Florida: [walks over threateningly punching his hand]
Florida: Are you part of the kingdom?!
Gov: Yes! Yes!
Florida: You dare lie?!
Gov: Yes! Yes!

Florida: [puts bunny ears and a fake beard on]
Florida: [taps New York on the shoulder]
New York: [turns to face him]
Florida: [wraps an arm around him and holds Easter eggs out to him]
Florida, putting them in his pocket and leaning closer: merry Easter pal
New York: What the fuck
Florida: [whispers] don't tell anyone about this [hops away]

West Virginia: [technical glitch]
West Virginia: [technical glitch]
West Virginia: [technical glitch]
West Virginia: I meant to say something else

Gov: Oh hello friend!
Florida: BEGONE THOT
Florida: [shines a light in his eyes]
Gov: [screams]

Louisiana: Say something romantic
Florida: uh
Florida: et tu brute
Louisiana: That is not romantic

Edit: removed a quote