Texas listens to Thin Lizzy

Gov and old DC having a sibling rivalry 

Indiana has a playlist full of songs like "Say you love me" by Fleetwood Mac and "Till there was you" by the Beatles

California, before they moved: Can I have your address? 
Colorado: Why?
California: nothing weird, I just want to know
Colorado: Uh sure? Do you want to come over or something? 
California, sending him food: maybe 

Texas: The forbidden fruit was an apple
Massachusetts: the original text used a word that did eventually come to mean apple; however, the original context of the word referred to virtually any fruit and thus the forbidden fruit could've been anything
Utah: what type of fruit it was doesn't matter, it's a metaphor for sin
Florida: the forbidden fruit was a tide pod

California: Oh sick a mineshaft
California: [placing ladders]
Florida: There's a creeper
California: FUCK
Florida, knowing they can climb ladders: [laughing]
California, looking down: OH SHIT IT'S RIGHT THERE

Louisiana: Trying this new thing where I make my decisions based on "common sense" and not my prophetic visions and omens

Florida, tweeting: Imagine being held at gunpoint (bear with me) by a literate animal, and the only hope of rescue is (BEAR WITH ME) tweeting a coded message

Florida: I would let a raccoon do surgery on me
Florida: Have you seen their little hands? Those motherfuckers would give me a great heart transplant for the low low cost of a cold pizza slice
Connecticut: You do realize where raccoons' little hands have been right
California: is that the...only reason you wouldn't let a raccoon give you a heart transplant?
Louisiana: Come on! They're so well known for washing their hands that they're called "washing bears" in German! You don't have to worry where their hands have been!
Connecticut: You heard it folks, getting a heart transplant from a raccoon is perfectly safe!
Colorado: Where is the raccoon getting the heart
Florida: Don't worry about it

Colorado: Your future self is talking shit about you
California: So am I
California: that bitch isn't special