No need to cry about it

He glances back over to his desk, cluttered with papers and art supplies. He'd been avoiding it for a while, mind too filled with thoughts that he was unoriginal and unskilled. It was rather discouraging. He can't tell exactly why, art had never been painful for him, it had never been something he dreaded, he isn't entirely sure when that changed. He chalks it up to a few too many rude comments when he was so clearly proud of himself.


He sighs, hoping to lessen the heavy feeling in his chest, before standing. He groans softly as he stretches, if he waited for an idea to come to him, he'd be waiting forever.


He sits down with a huff, looking over unfinished projects and notes from sudden bursts of motivation when he didn't have the time for them. When nothing catches his eye, he picks up a blank canvas and a set of paints, sure he'd figure something out.


He walks over to a small portion of his room where the floor is covered in old newspapers and magazines and sets the canvas and paints down. He sighs again, running a hand through his hair, he still felt some amount of dread, but it was managable, he'd be okay.


It's nothing special, hand prints without enough force to leave a proper mark or with too much force that would take much longer to dry, eventually followed by random lines in colors he thinks match well. There's no expectation with the piece, his only goal to try and make something. It's a lot easier than he thought it would be, discomfort ebbing with each new mark on the canvas. He didn't bother to change beforehand, the outfit didn't mean much to him and none of the others would care or recognize it if it did get stained.


He's getting excited, painting in quick strokes with his thumb and splattering paint along the canvas. The colors match relatively well, fading into each other until the entire piece is a rainbow of chaos, each mark holding a different feeling.


It's the best he's felt in a while, proud of the piece and finally motivated again. Staring back at the piece, he doubts he'll show anyone, not willing to repeat the cycle due to one too many negative comments. He's glad to have something he was excited about, even if it was just for him.

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