bit more on last chapter

tw: death, guilt, self hatred

can be implied/taken as suicide but that's not how Nick died

Florida sighs, stuffing his hands in his pockets and glancing around. He walks in quick strides, trying to ignore the feeling of eyes on him as he does. He stops at a familar grave and all his thoughts seem to die on his tongue. He opens and closes his mouth a few times, trying to figure out a good way to articulate his thoughts. Nothing seemed right, it had been that way for a while now.

"It's uh," he coughs into his hand, feeling rather awkward, "it's earlier than I usually come..." he trails off, glancing around once more. "I miss you," he swallows thickly, eyes welling with tears, "I miss you and it hurts so much," he sobs finally, "it's been so long and I still can't believe it." He can't look back at the grave, shaking his head slightly, "I'd like to think you'd be proud of me-" he sighs, "I really thought I was getting better at this."

"I am proud of you." He doesn't miss how Florida seems to freeze, his anxious energy increasing.

Florida shakes his head once more, "I really wish you could meet my partners, they're great." He's smiling now, "I think you'd really like them, they're really sweet." Florida's glancing around again, "there was something else I was going to tell you..." He sighs, staring at his shoes, "I'm sorry I wasn't enough to stay" Nick freezes, eyes widening slightly, "I guess I'll see you again... later."

There's a lump in his throat as he watches his son jog back to his car. It wasn't Florida's fault, Nick wished he could see that.