andy ✎ᝰ

I don't remember the last night I spent where I didn't love you. I remember so vividly the night where you captured my heart and took it with you. My life hasn't been the same since. I feel just as terrible as I feel euphoric. Terrible whenever we're apart and euphoric whenever you're near.

You are my waking thought and my sweetest dreams. Most days feel like I'm being held by your shackles—unable to break away and free myself from you or my feelings.

It makes me question myself and how you've brought me to this situation. How, until now, you have kept me close to you without knowing.

Why do you have this hold on me?

That question seeps through me and flows right through me like the blood that runs in my veins.
A question like this is one I can't ever find an answer for. It's peculiar yet deeply profound.

There could never be just one reason as to why I hold such love and adoration for a person such as yourself. You feed my soul that had been hungry for the type of feeling you give me endlessly.

You who without fail has brought an incomparable amount of warmth, comfort, happiness and love to me. You who without fail has seen and heard me through and through. You who without fail has been there when I need you most. You who without fail has kept my heart beating like it was always going to be yours.

Perhaps you are my life line more or less.
The type of beauty you possess is unmatched. You take my breath away—over and over.

I have always wondered what it would be like to be loved by you. I have always wondered what it would be like to be held by you. I have wondered many things. Have you ever thought of me the way I think of you? Have you ever thought of me as much more than just your best friend?

Has it ever occurred to you that I love you without fail. That I would always love you. I try so hard to move past this. To move past you.

But you have a hold on me that I don't quite understand. It gets tiring too you know. Yet you will never know that because I would never have the heart to tell you how I feel in fear that losing you could be a possibility I could not bear.

Your hold on me has kept me here. I can never stray too far. For I will return to you like I've always belonged to you and only you.

But I am not yours. And would I ever be?

That too plagues me endlessly through the night.

I can't get rid of you and that scares me.