⌗ 25
mason  ✎ᝰ
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The sun lays to rest over the marina as I watch yachts sail away into the sunset. I roll the hems of my denim mom jeans to my knees as I dangle my legs over the water. The evening runs cool as the breeze runs through my hair and deep into my skin. There's a big part of me that hopes she comes. I just have that feeling. I feel a small smile form on my lips as I watch couples around me go for walks around the surrounding area.

I reminisce about the weekend away. It feels so much like a distant memory for something that happened merely a week ago. I take a deep breath as I play it back in my head. The lake has become such a profound memory—that kiss, especially so. The smile on my face widens. I can feel my cheeks flush at the thought of it.

The cool breeze clashes with the hotness that comes off my face, it's redness blending in with the colour of the sky as the sun continues to put itself to sleep after a hard days work.

I take in the sound of the ocean. It's calming. I find a moment of serenity in it all. It's only when the sound of a bell ringing in the distance ushers me to turn my head.

Riley comes riding in on her bike. My heart begins to beat rapidly against its cage. I watch her mount off her bike and rush towards me with the kind of look on her face that tells me she's nervous. I take a stand and move towards her slowly, meeting her half way.

"Mason." I haven't heard her call me that in a really long time. There's a part of me that's unsure of what to feel. "You're here."

"I told you I would." I chuckled.

She takes a step forward. "Mason, I have something I need to tell you." Riley confessed. There's a despondent look on her face as she stares back at me—it tugs at my heart.

I swallow the emptiness that sits at the back of my throat. "Why are you calling me that?" It's never a big deal. It really shouldn't be. But the sound of my name rolling off her tongue is unfamiliar. "It's just really strange that's all."

She nods. "Yeah. It's kinda weird calling you that." Her gaze shifts to the ground below her. "I just don't think I should be calling you that right now." She explained still avoiding eye contact.

"Riley I need you to look at me." I ushered.

It takes her no less than a second to lift her head and look at me dead in the eyes. "Oh, right."

"You haven't spoken to me since we got back from the cottage." I breathed. "I don't even know what I did." There's a sharp pain in my chest that spreads throughout my whole body. "You just left questioning—I looked like an idiot."

"Mason, it's not like that..." Her voice fades.

There's a reasonable distance between us that neither of us dare to lessen. I can feel eyes at the back of my head as strangers walk past. I feel like crying and throwing up—but I can't.

"Then what is it like, Riley? Because you're making me out to be a fool." I admit. "I've spent countless days almost close to falling asleep. In the middle of class, on the road, at work. I've been tossing and turning every day. Do you know how tiring it gets laying there wondering if I'll ever get to fall asleep? How glad it makes me feel when I wake up in the morning with an hour of sleep at the very least? Do you know what you've put me through? It's sick. Especially coming from you, Riley. Look what you've done."

I can see her eyes glisten with tears, "I didn't mean for that to happen." She cried out. "I wasn't having an easy time either. It was hard for me too, Mason. I was hurting too. So don't think that it's all you because it's not. It never was."

The sun sets off to sleep behind the marina. It leaves a pretty afterglow behind that contradicts the reality unfolding in front of me. It's cruel. How could a pretty sight dawn over something such as this? There's a long silence that follows that neither of us want to break.

"I'm sorry," Riley apologised. "I don't wanna do this to you. I don't wanna lose this with you."

I bring my head to my hands. "Now you're just quoting lyrics." I sighed. "Is that how you're gonna apologise?" I wondered. "With lyrics?"

Riley takes the first step forward that we haven't dared to take—now one step closer to me. "Lyrics or not Mason, it's the absolute truth. It's on me. And I need you to understand that I never meant for this to happen. I feel awful. I felt so responsible. This was all my doing," She stammered. "Though I had my reasons. I just need you to listen, Maisie. Even if it happens to be last thing you do. Just listen. Please. For me."

I hear it for the first time since our weekend away. There's a slight weight that lifts off my chest that makes it somewhat easier to breathe.

I feel my vision blur. "You said it." My voice softens as tears begin to well in my eyes. Her figure has morphed into a blob of colour that seemingly intensifies. She's getting closer.

I feel warmth press against the sides of me. She's holding me by the waist, inching closer. "I need you to come back home." She pleaded. "I need you to come back to me. I need you so much."

I bring my left hand towards her cheek. The tears run down my face as I cup her face. "I never left. I would never leave either. It's like that poem. Remember? I finally read that note you left me."

"I would rather swim in stormy seas with you, than sail calm waters with anyone else." 

I nod slowly. "You told me that afternoon in class that you didn't quite understand it. Probably because you never experienced anything like it. I remember that afternoon quite vividly actually," I chuckle. "You told me that you'd rather face those types of hardships with me. That you would rather get through anything and everything as long as long as we tried hard to do so. Together."

Riley stares back at me with a wistful look. "I'd pick your thunder, I'd pick your rain; over anyone's sunshine any day." She smiled softly. "It's another poem I came across. In fact, it's funny how I never quite understood what people meant when they wrote those poems. When I came across them the first time I wondered how people would rather that than something else. But now I get it. Loving you has showed me that I would walk scorching desserts and blistering winds if that meant I'd come home to you. I would walk the ends of the earth, I would dig a tunnel with my bare hands. Anything, Maisie. I would do anything to come home to you."

"You would really do that?" I asked.

"I don't think you realise how much I love you, Maisie. You have consumed my entire being with the kind of love that keeps me going. It's everything about you that makes you so different from everybody else. How you check all my boxes. There's no one else like you, Mace. And that's what scares me the most. No one could ever love me the way that you do. And that's such a scary thing for me. Because I would die for your love, and only if it's you. It's you or no one at all. You are my first love, Maisie. I intend to keep it that way. I would rather die loving you than be in love with somebody else."