70 ; riley marsh ✎ᝰ
[three years later]

I overlook the masses of people; dressed down in formal wear and their academic regalia; a sea of black and purple gowns that stand out in any angle that you look from. I hear my heart drum against my chest. This moment is all mine; everything I've ever accomplished has come down to this; a speech that will go down in my lifetime as something I can look back on; to be proud of.

"Trials and tribulations come with both a purpose and a reward. Life is a daring adventure, a song, a challenge, a game, a dream and it's a sacrifice. Life is like riding a bicycle; to keep your balance, you must keep moving. If you fall; don't be afraid to get up and try again. Life is never easy; answers will not come knocking at your door as you please; life will always make you work for what you want; what you strive to achieve and accomplish in your life. Whether we live once or live many lives; we must live like it's our last; life will go on; whether you're at you're highest or at an all time low; life will never care about how you feel. I realised that life is unpredictable."

I scan the crowd; my cohort and their families. I find my family at the bleachers; Mason and Mara sit side by side next to my parents. I reminisce over Mason's speech at our high school graduation all those years ago; how time truly flies. It had only felt like yesterday when we were young and unaware of life's challenges. I remember how content and untroubled we were; how convenient our life was. Had we only known. I hear that same night play in the back of my head; who would've thought that a memorable moment would soon turn sour.

"Unpredictable as it may be, I find myself standing here before the very people I have had the opportunity to get to know in our journey of sleepless nights and buckets of hot coffee." The crowd cheers. "We have all gone through the same process; to have gone through a never ending spiral; a battle between wits; wanting to give up and throw it all away. But we're here. We're here today to honour ourselves and the hard work we have done to make this day a reality; an achievement that we will remember for the rest of our lives; a monumental legacy. Here's to us; for never giving up when life threw us into the darkness; into the deep deep waters; into the unknown. We have survived life and everything it had to throw at us. We're here. We made it." A smile forms on my face. "If you told me that I'd be here on this stage three years ago..." I take a moment. "I'd laugh and think, 'surely not'." The crowd laughed. "The person I was three years ago thought that her life was over. I was a lot weaker than I am now. I wouldn't say that I was fearless; nor was I anti-fragile. The Riley Marsh I knew back then had never thought to think that 'life goes on', that it'll get better."

I find Mason in the crowd again. This time I don't falter my gaze. "Life back then was nothing like I'd thought it be. I found myself in a constant state of wondering and thinking about the what if's. Life wasn't easy on me; life wasn't easy for a lot of people. The Riley that people hardly knew three years ago was the girl that thought she'd never be able to pick herself up again. Why? Because she thought that life had taken her greatest love away. It's awfully weird to be talking about myself in the third person but hey...the lot of you are looking up at me intently." Mason laughs and my heart flutters. The whole crowd laughs too.

"We've all been there; where we lose someone we love more than words; more than life; more than anything really. I thought I lost the girl I loved. I made terrible decisions. I chose to make repeated mistakes. I lied to the one person I trusted. I should've known the consequences. But part of me was scared; so scared of being alone; of being hurt. I thought it would be better to lie and hide the truth. I thought that 'what she doesn't know won't hurt her'. Boy, was I wrong. I watched my whole life fall at my feet. I watched her walk away. I watched her leave me altogether. It's true that I resented her for some time but...it happens. If I just told her the truth...none of that would've happened. And you're probably wondering, 'why is she telling us this?'. My answer to that is quite simple. There is a girl I love. A little bit messy, a little bit ruined. A beautiful disaster. Just like me. We went through so many trials and tribulations of our own during our relationship. We fought. We forgave. We repeated that cycle; terrible, but we didn't give up. And then there's that time I lost her completely; where I I lost her again. I thought I'd be able to fix it; just like I always had. But that was never the case. I moved; home was here. But home was also in a faraway country; in a person I loved more than myself. I thought of her everyday. There was not a single day where I did not love her. I even tried to make things work with someone else...but there was no use; no denying how deeply I still felt for her. And it comes down to this. You may be wondering 'why her?'. Why anyone else when she exists? We all have that person we'd choose over and over. Through and through. In any life time. And for me, Mason Kang is my exception. No matter how many times we fall through...I will always find my way back to you. And that goes to life too. If you ever find yourself falling or sinking...just know that there's light at the end of the tunnel; hope. Life can be full of shit. But you didn't go through all of that for nothing. It can be a lesson. It takes grace to remain kind in cruel situations. Sometimes you have to make a decision that will break your heart but will give you peace. No matter how hurtful life can be...you must turn the page and let that next chapter unfold. Focus on the next step—not the staircase. What's meant to be will always find a way. Don't let the concept of change scare you. Don't settle for less. To be unhappy. We all deserve that happiness we crave. Life will be scary sometimes. If you focus on the hurt, you will only continue to suffer. If you focus on the lesson, you will continue to grow."

⌗
I feel her warmth take over me and I melt. Her arms wrap around me tightly as she squeals with joy. "I'm so proud of you, baby. You did it!" I rub the small of her back as we sway side to side.

"Thank you." I smile. "How was my speech?"

Mason pulls away. "Just as beautiful as the one that gave it." I notice the tears that begin to well in her eyes. "We've been through a lot haven't we?" She sniffles softly. I cup her cheek gently.

"We have. But at least we now know that life won't ever tear us apart. We're stronger now." Mason nods as I rub my thumb against her cheek.

"Congratulations." I turn to face the owner of the voice. Mara. She hands me a blue gift card and a bouquet of sunflowers. "I heard that you like yellow and I felt like sunflowers were quite fitting for you." Mara smiles. "You'd be the sun if not for the one that already exists." The three of us giggle. "I hope you like the gift...dork."

I take the bouquet and the gift and I pull her into a hug. "Mmm. Thank you for coming. I'm really glad you were able to make it." Mara rubs the small of my back before pulling away slowly.

"I wouldn't miss my best friend's graduation. I wouldn't let Mason go without me either." She shoves Mason playfully and the latter rolls her eyes. I wouldn't have expected this either. I found comfort in Mara. We became best friends without even fully knowing it. I wouldn't have it any other way. "Thank you for inviting me."

I roll my eyes. "As if I wouldn't do that."

I look at the two young women in front of me; cheesy smiles form across their faces as they look at me with intent. Life has been a whirlwind; without a doubt. But I'd rather this life than anything else. I have a wonderful best friend and a girlfriend I love endlessly who flew across the world to come see me on my graduation.

Mason clicks her tongue before biting down on her lower lip. "I didn't realise how hot it would be to have a lawyer as a girlfriend."

Mara looks at her with disgust. "Wow. Save it for later will you?" She shoves playfully.

I let a laugh escape my lips as I throw my arms around the both of them. "I love you both so much." They hug me tightly and I can tell that they're smiling too. This is the life I dreamed of.

"I love you too, dinosaur." Mara replied.

"Not as much as me though." Mason smirks. Mara rolled her eyes once again. "I love you my little cinnamon bun, my icing on my top, my cherry—"

Mara pulled away and turned her back around and walks off into the distance. I will never grow tired of these two and their friendship.

"Oi!" Mason yelled loudly. "Mara! Hellaur!!"

"Baby." I cooed. "People are staring..."

Mason pulls me in by the waist and kisses me out of the blue. "Okay. Let them then."