67; mara (special chapter) ✎ᝰ

The sun feels warm against my back. I like to think that it's her way of keeping me warm. She's up there somewhere; dancing and sharing her favourite stories. "I bet people love you already."

A smile forms on my lips. "You've made friends up there, right? You probably have inside jokes with someone already..." I chuckle softly. "I hope you like the flowers, baby." I rearrange the bouquet so that they're sitting up straight. "Here. You'll see them much better this way. What do you think?"

I bought her a bouquet of her favourite flowers; Buttercup. I thought it was quite funny—what kind of flowers are called Buttercup? Mavis told me that she liked them because they shared the name as her favourite Powerpuff; Buttercup.

"I know I found them silly at first but I think the name as grown on me." I stare at the flowers; a gorgeous mix of pink and orange. "I already know you're laughing but that just means you're happy, right? I love knowing you're happy, baby."

I feel the cool breeze against my skin. The summer is coming to a near end; yet the spring breeze feels refreshing already. Her favourite season is fast approaching...yet she won't be here to witness it again. I've made sure to keep my promise; live life to its absolute fullest; live life for the both of us—like she's still here with us.

"I miss you." I admit. "I hope it doesn't sound silly. It's been two weeks since we lost you. It still feels unreal. Though I feel more at ease knowing that you're no longer in any pain. You fought well. Now you get to rest and dance with the stars; whenever you wish; whenever you feel lonely or full of energy. I'm here too if you need. I know they'd be impressed with my dancing, no?" I laugh at my own words. "But I know you're having fun up there. I feel happy just thinking about it. You're always so full of life..."

I've handled the loss a lot better than I thought I would; but I still feel like I'd break down sooner or later. I'm just thankful that I've got a great support system around me. I remind myself daily that I'm not going through this alone. I have Mason and Ellie. I have Renz and Mika too. There's my parents of course. I even have Riley.

"I'm back to studying full time." I begin. "I took so much time off last semester to look after Mason. The Doctor think she'll only need to be on antibiotics for a few more months. I'm really happy that she's getting better. I heard she's been visiting you too." I smile. "You must love all the snacks she brings you. They're all gone so you must have eaten them. I hope you're eating well up there too my cutie. Don't skip your meals!"

"Don't worry about me too much. I'm eating well too. I've made sure to eat all three meals and drink plenty of water. Even snacks when I'm feeling a little peckish. I even go gym sometimes or workout at my dorm. Mason checks up on me often too. So that makes the two of you!"

I take a sip of my Royal Pearl Milk Tea. "Mm. That's really tasty." I smile. "You better drink yours before it gets watery." I chuckle. "I know you hate it when the ice melts." I look at the cup I've laid next to her tombstone.

Mavis Pham
2004 — 2023
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In loving memory of a beautiful daughter and friend. Forever in our hearts. Until we meet again. Those we love don't go away, they walk beside us everyday. Forever and always with you.

I've read her tombstone countless times; convinced that I've got it memorised in my head. I look at it with wet eyes. Mavis won't be here to celebrate her birthday this year. "I'll make sure you have the best birthday ever my honey bee. You deserve it." I sniffle. "It's the least I can do for you. I'll bring the girls. I'll get Mika to bake that cake you love. I'm sure your parents will love that everyone will be coming together to celebrate you. You'll be 19 soon. Our twenties aren't that far off either. You'll be young forever, baby."

I watch the sun set in the distance. "It seems that the sun is off to rest." I sigh. "I should head home soon too. You're probably already yapping at me to get off my ass and start my assignment." I laugh. "I'll get it done. But just a few minutes more. I want to spend the rest of the day with you. It's just like how we used to spend it. On a little hill overlooking the horizon...I know this isn't a hill that overlooks the horizon but we're here together and that's all that matters."

I feel the breeze against my cheek. "Mm...is that you?" I chuckle. "If you were gonna kiss me you should've asked." I shake my head. "I'm just messing with you. But if that was your kiss...I think I've got enough energy to last me through the week." I smile again. "Thank you for letting me spend the day with you. I hope that you had as much fun as I did. I had a good time...I'm not sure when I'll be able to visit again. Tomorrow? Hm. I feel like you'd scold me. You are tiny and you are nowhere near scary...not with that cute face." I laugh again. "But I'll visit whenever I can. Nothing has changed...spending time with you is still my favourite thing to do. Just wait for me, ok? I'll hurry back to you. Don't miss me too much while I'm gone. I'll be back before you know it—and with more snacks. I hope you have a great night. I love you, Mavi. Goodnight."