⌗ 8

I lay comfortably on the hammock that sits on my front porch. The cool breeze feels refreshing on my skin. Today had been one for the history books. I reminisce our moments together. I miss the feeling of her in my arms...

I hardly remember much. My mind's too clouded. Clouded with thoughts of her. As always, she engulfs much of my mind and soul, and even that I don't try to fight. I've learnt to let it be and let it run its course. I enjoy it after all.

I ponder for several moments. Wondering about the what if's and the maybe's. I hate to be the one that seems so ahead of myself but I can't seem to let it all go...not in this case.

Things about started to become a little hazy...and I can't seem to juggle around it. It's either one thing or another. Part of me thinks I should just ask. The other half is too frightened to even try.

So I'm just left in an endless loop of wondering.

"Yearning: it needs to be hurt in order to be worthy of the word. Otherwise it's just wanting"

I haven't felt this before. This strong persistent desire to be with someone. To be with someone I can't have. To want and hold someone so much. To have an intense, deep-seating longing that in turn pools in a slightly melancholy feeling.

Yearning for her has turned me into someone that stays eager and restless—left on a pedestal. It's that overwhelming urge to see, hold and hear her no matter how long and how often I see her.

Why is it so impossible to have someone I already have but not quite? Where she's there but not really. How I have her but never in that way...

It's all bittersweet.

I yearn for someone I see more often that not. Someone who, in every way, makes me feel like what I see on a screen. Like my own fairy tale.

But does my own fairytale have the happy ending that I crave more than anything?

But who knows...who knows if what I see before me is even real or a figment of my imagination. Has sleep taken over me? Am I dreaming?

"You're quite silly aren't you?" That all too familiar voice jolts me up from my position, making me rock back and forth on the hammock unsteady until I meet the cold hard floor.

"Fuck." I cursed loudly. I dust off my overalls and look at my arms for any scratches. None thankfully. But it definitely hurts.

Riley kneels on the floor beside me and cups my face gently, squishing my cheeks, "Maisie, are you okay?! I'm so sorry I didn't mean to startle you I just thought that—"

The front lights flicker on again as she stares at me longingly with those deep brown eyes. What do those eyes mean Danielle Marsh?

"I mnkw you divn't mean it." I mumbled

"Huh?" Riley's brows furrowed.

I point my finger at my squished cheeks, which she lets go off as soon as she realises.

"Oh, right. Sorry."

"I know you didn't mean it," I repeated. "Besides, it didn't hurt at all." I lie straight through my teeth. I'd rather not make her worried and upset that she made me stumble and fall. And especially not when I feel sharps pains all over my body from the impact. I'd rather keep quiet.

"Are you sure you're okay? It looked painful."

I can see the worry in her eyes as she helps me up from the floor and dusts off my pants for me. "I'm okay. I promise. You know me."

"I do." She answered. Even with the moon and stars in the sky, her eyes still shine the brightest for me. She has the prettiest eyes.

I don't know what comes over me, but it feels right. I lean forward and press a soft kiss against her cheek. "I'm okay...really."

I know she gets nervous when her hands begin to shake. She's always been cautious about hurting me or making me feel upset. I've found that assuring her as best as I can helps—even if it means by doing something a little different this time. After all, it can't hurt to try?

Her cheeks flush and the corner of her lips turn upward, "Hey, what was that." She chuckled nervously. "That's new." She added

I shrugged my shoulder, "I dunno. You're kinda cute when you worry. Especially over me."

I really don't know what's gotten over me. Or where this boldness is coming from. I'm terrible at the flirting game. But this? Is it working?

Riley bites her lower lip and looks at me with that same alluring gaze that got me the first time. "You're quite the flirt, Mason."

"Hey," I hit her arm gently. "I'm Maisie to you."

I find myself pouting almost immediately.

"Why the long face, hm?" She wondered.

"Do you really have to ask me that?"

Riley leans forward and presses a soft kiss against my cheek this time. "Maybe," She answered. "You're kinda cute when you get all pouty. Especially when it's because of me.

Lord. The Lord must be testing me right now.

My cheeks burn up like a wood fired oven. Who knows how red they are...right. She does. Riley giggles. And there's no reason for me to ask. All I can do is stand there quietly and watch her.

"There's my little tomato frog." She teased.

"If I pout again do I get another kiss?"

"I dunno, Mason. Do you?"