64; mason kang ✎ᝰ

author's note
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this chapter will explore themes of death & loss. please proceed with caution.
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The room is ice cold when I walk through the bedroom door. Mara lays small on the bed; knees tucked in tightly between her arms and against her chest. She doesn't move when I walk closer.

"Babi." I hear her voice for the first time since this morning. It sounds delicate and full of hurt. I feel a tug at my heart when I step closer. Tears are running down her face yet again. "You're back."

I nod slowly as I inch closer. "I bought you dinner. Come, let's eat?" She doesn't move. Her chest rises and falls as she tries to catch a breath.

"I bought everything you like." I try to put a smile on my face. "It'll be cold if we don't eat it." Mara doesn't respond. She pulls the duvet over her entire body instead. Her sobs muffled. "Babi?"

I sit on the edge of the bed. "Mara. What's wrong?" I start to worry that I've done something wrong, that I ended up hurting her again.

I take the duvet and pull it away from her face. Her eyes are bloodshot again; they always seems to be these days. "She's gone, Mason."

My brows crease. "Gone? Who's gone?"

Mara swallows hard and turns herself to face me. I feel my body grow cold and weak when she starts to shake. This couldn't be any good. I take her hands in mine; they're cold and wet.

Silence washes over us and I can't help but think about what it could be. "Mavis." The name slips past her tongue like a cold breeze.

I tilt my head at an angle. "Lovey, what happened to Mavis?" My heart starts to ache once again. God, this is just a never ending feeling.

Mara closes her eyes shut. "The real reason she broke up with me." A tear rolls down her cheek. "I told you that she had some lame excuse," She chuckles half heartedly. "Turns out she..."

"Mara, what happened?" I asked firmly.

"All this time I thought that she left because I was too good for her but it isn't that, Babi." The look that spreads on her face as she looks at me makes my chest feel heavy. "Stage 4 Cancer. She found out after we started dating. I thought that she was just being really clingy because we were together but she..." I feel my heart sink. "She knew she didn't have long left to be with me."

I feel a sharp pain in my chest. "Singapore. Is she even there? Mara. Where is Mavis?" I cried.

Mara holds my hand tighter. "She's there. Ellie flew in a couple days ago. She didn't want to tell me because of us but Mavis told her not to hold a grudge. She doesn't have a lot of time left."

I feel a knot form in my stomach as the words come in one ear and out the other. My throat feels tight and I can hardly even breathe. I start to feel lightheaded and nauseous. "Mara..."

She pushes herself up to sit properly. "I'm really sorry, lovey." Mara presses her palm against the side of my cheek. I can tell that she's using all the strength she has left in her to console me.

I shake my head. "What are you sorry for?"

Another tear rolls down her face. "I feel like I'm the reason why your life has become so miserable." She chuckles. "This shouldn't be happening. If only I didn't fall for you then—"

"None of this is your fault." I answer. "Mara. None of this is ever your fault. I need you to know that. None of this has anything to do with how you feel or how I feel. This," I chuckle half heartedly. "This is just life being an absolute dick head... and for a reason I wish I had an answer too. But please, baby. Don't ever blame yourself for anything."

Mara breaks down in tears and falls into me. I wrap my arms around her tightly as we both let the hurt take over us like a nightmare. I feel my vision start to blur; though it's not the well of tears that continually stream down my face.

An inevitable silence hovers over us like a dark cloud. All I can hear is the loud thumping in my chest and the ringing in my ears.

I knew that fate could tear people apart. Never in my life did I ever think that it could take people away from you. I could lose my best friend. The same best friend I failed to take care of. The best friend who with time, will fade away into obscurity. It'll happen faster than you think. In months, weeks, days, hours or even seconds.

I should have been there for her more. I feel guilt wash over me. All I had on my mind all year was Riley. Even then...I never got to tell Mavis how much she means to me; how much I love her.

I can't let her slip away until she knows. I can't let her leave me without knowing how the world had been a better place with her in it. I can't let her leave like that. I wish she didn't have to leave at all. The world only seems to grow crueler.

Life will either be one of two things; you're biggest fan or you're greatest enemy. It will never be both. I know that now. I know that death is not something we can avoid. It will happen with old age or with sickness. It can happen to anyone and at any time. But life did not prepare me for this,

to the mere possibility of losing someone.

You will lose people at some point in your life, but I'm not ready to lose one of my best friends. If God only knew the things I would do to change this fate that had been laid out for us.

If only I had the power to change their fate.

Mara will soon lose the person that made her the happiest. And whether she admits it or denies it wholeheartedly, I know in my heart that she could never bear life without Mavis. It feels painful to think that she could have lost me too. All for how she felt. She had thought that loving somebody would inevitably result to loss. But I stood as an example that not everyone would leave. But now I feel numb. I may have not left,

but a love she cherished will soon cease to exist.