"Chryszyler, we're going!" I heard Mom said. I quickly go to her. They're going to their work at our business. It's their first time. Katatayo lang ng business namin.

Pumasok ako sa kotse. Tinignan ko ang oras, 8 AM pa lang. Exactly 8:56 AM, ando'n na kami. Kabisado ko na ang mangyayari kaya hindi na ako na-excite. After repeating it all for my parents to live again, I forgot what's the feeling of living.

Kumunot ang noo ko dahil busina nang busina si Dad. This isn't right. What the hell is happening? My eyes widen when we bumped into a girl.

Lumabas agad sina Mom and Dad sa kotse para tignan ang nangyari. Hindi matanggal ang pagtataka ko. This isn't what I remember.

Sumilip ako sa bintana, nakita ko ang babae na nakatayo na. Sino 'to? I don't fucking know her. Where did she come from?

I can't help but hissed. Ang bobo naman tumawid nito. Okay lang daw siya kahit hindi naman. "Mukhang naman siya. Tara na." Naiinis ako sakaniya. Alam kong napuruhan 'yong paa niya, bakit hindi niya sabihin?! This girl is giving me a headache. Ako ata ang kailangan pumunta sa hospital.

Pinunta namin siya sa hospital. Dinala pa sa bahay, bullshit. Sino ba 'to? Hindi ko siya maalala. Wala akong magawa kung hindi sungitan siya. I don't fucking know her. Why is she here in my memories? Well, it's not going to change my memories, right?

That's what I thought. My memories changed. Imbes na 5 months before ako sasali sa banda, napasali agad ako. And why did I damn obey? Sino ba siya? And she's claiming that she's friends with the Universe. That's total bullshit! I'm wih friends with them! Bestfriend ko nga si Thyron! That asshole.

I became in the band again. But it's not what I expected. Wala akong ginawa kung hindi sungitan si Faye, lalo ni si Thyron. That asshole! He's obviously flirting with Faye! How the hell did he learned that?

I was confused all the time. Thinking that something is wrong with me that's why Faye's here. I can't fucking think who is she and why is she here. I wanted badly to get rid of her. Nagbabago lahat dahil sakaniya! She's ruining everything!

But when I'm with her, parang mas malala ang pinagdadaanan niya kaysa sa akin. It's like she's fighting with herself. Lagi niyang sinasabi na okay lang kahit hindi naman talaga. I became worried about her every freaking time. I even memorized her every single details. Her mannerisms. I just can't look at her whenever she's blowing her cheeks. She's too adorable! Mamaya, hindi ko mapigilan sarili ko at ikulong siya sa k'warto. Is this even good for me? Is she good for me?

Nasa klase ako. I was really bored, kabisado ko na ang lessons. Parang gusto ko na lang lumabas and be with her... She's in my school, but she can't go inside my classroom. Pumasok lang talaga ako para magpatuloy ang takbo ng memory ko, pero dinala ko pa rin siya rito. How ridiculous.

Bigla siyang pumunta sa classroom namin, umiiyak. Why the hell is she crying?! Wala pang isang oras na lumayo ako sakaniya, umiiyak na siya?!

I cupped in her face. Looking at her, worried. Damn. Why did I even leave her there? You're so fucking dumb, Chryszyler.

As soon as I heard the hospital. Tumakbo na ako, leaving her behind. My heart kept on beating so fast. It's too early! Why the hell are they're in the hospital?!

Hindi ko alam pero kahit hindi ko na hawak ang nangyayari, I'm still okay, dahil andito siya. She's here with me all the time. And I know that I had feelings for her.

That changed it all... again. Simula nang magkita kami, lahat na ng nangyayari sa akin, nagbabago.

That asshole Thyron got to his senses and realized what I've been doing. He found out that I'm repeating it all again over and over again.

"Why are you doing this?! This is pure bullshit!" he shouted at me. He's fuming mad. I understand. "It's like you're taking away our lives! Hindi mo kami pag-aari, Zy!"

I can't help but to feel relieved when he called me by my nickname. This asshole is really my bestfriend. Such a genius kid.

I just sighed infront of him that made him more angry.

"Ano? Buntong hininga na lang tayo? Gusto mo mawalan ng hininga? Zy, anong nangyayari sa 'yo? You're not the Zy I know anymore."

Hindi ko alam pero bigla ko na lang siya niyakap. I know why he's mad. I understand it all.

"You smart ass." Tumawa kami pareho.

"You have to accept it all, Zy. You can't be here forever. Turn everything back." I wanted to... but I can't.

"It's Faye..." I muttered. Kumunot ang noo niya.

"What about her?"

"I can't turn everything back because of her." Lalo siyang naguhuluhan. I'm confused, too! His eyes widen. Now, I'm extremely confused!

"Why?" I asked. He even covered his mouth because of what he realized! This asshole is really getting into my nerves!

"She's... She's not part of our memories, isn't she?" This asshole is really smart, huh? No doubt. "That's why she's not familiar!"

We talked and agreed on to make it go back to normal. But this dumbass kept on flirting with Faye that me pissed off everytime. Is this his plan? Bullshit.

Tss. May paakbay pa ang bobo. Nagsama pa talaga bumili ng tubig! Mabigat ba 'yong tubig at hindi niya kaya mag-isa 'yon? That asshole. Tss.

I was busy that week in the hospital. Hindi ako nakakasama sakanila. Hindi ako mapakali tuwing naiisip ko na magkasama 'yong dalawa. Tss.

Bigla na lang kami hindi nagpansinan ni Faye. At first, I thought that's good para maayos ang lahat. Pero araw-araw gusto ko siyang lapitan at kausapin. Thyron did the same. Hindi niya pinapansin si Faye kaya ayon na lang din ginawa ko.

Faye really didn't budge, too. Hindi rin niya kami pinansin. I tried to talk to her again, but she kept on pushing me away. Why did I do? Gusto ko lang naman umayos kami! Ayaw na ba niya sa akin?

"Are you okay? Did you cry?" I asked her. Hinawakan ko ang pisngi niya. Nakita ko ang gulat niya, I bit my lower lip to stop myself from smiling. Nakita ko ulit ang mata niyang maga. Why did she cry again? Bakit kase ayaw niya sabihin problema niya sa akin? She knows mine, why can't she say hers?

"U-Umuwi ka na. Pupunta kang hospital 'di ba?" sabi niya. I didn't talk. Tinignan ko lang siya. I know she's in pain. She's pushing me away again. "Kailangan ka ng magulang mo ro'n."

Napahilamos ako sa mukha ko. Why is she like that? She needs someone!

"Why are you pushing me away?" Inis na inis ako. I know she needs someone, bakit tinutulak niya lahat palayo?

Napasinghap ako. I realized that she really don't need me. She don't fucking need you, Zy.

"You know the saying "Walk away from people not meant for you is the best thing that you will ever do"?" I looked at her. I don't know if this us the last time I could look at her like this. "How can I walk away from you when you're the best thing that happened to me?" I saw her cry. Gusto ko punasan ang luha niya, pero baka lumayo na naman siya. "But this time, I don't know anymore if you were the lighthouse or the storm."

Tumalikod na agad ako sakaniya at umalis. If she don't want me around, then I'll go faraway from her.

But she's the one who go faraway. Hindi ko na siya nakita simula no'n. I felt guilty for saying such words. You're so dumb!

"What did you do to her?" Thyron asked.

"Nothing." Inisip ko kung anong nangyari. Where did she go?

I waited for her for two months, but she really didn't came back. She just disappeared...

Bumalik sa dati ang lahat. Hindi ko alam kung magiging masaya ako ro'n o hindi dahil wala siya.

I'm starting to move on from her. After three months, she came back again. She fucking came back like nothing happened!

It's awkward between the three of us. Thyron became harsh to Faye. I wanted to punch him when I saw pain in Faye's eyes. This asshole is making Faye hurt! But I know Thyron just wanted to make everything back to normal.

I'm messed up everything. Hindi ako nakapagpigil at kinausap siya. I don't want her leave again. It hurt.

Nakatanggap ako ng tawag na nasa hospital na naman ang magulang ko. Why? Why do I kept on torturing myself from going back and watch them suffer over and over again?

I was shocked to see Faye here. I know Thyron is behind this. That asshole. It made me feel at ease. I'm panicking, but she came.

She was with me all the time. Kahit sobrang gabi na siya uuwi, andito siya lagi tuwing umaga. Nahuli ko rin si Thyron sa hospital. He's a messed. Sobrang pagod ang itsura niya, it's like he's barely sleeping.

"What happened to you, asshole?" He sighed and looked away. Ano problema nito? "Why are you here?"

"I'm... I'm watching Faye." I looked at him, confuse. Why do he need to watch her? I'm already here. "Just to make sure."

I just shrugged that off. I know there's a deep reason why, but I didn't asked him. Sasabihin na lang no'n kung ano problema. Matalino naman siya.

I really thought that would just go by a week and everything will be okay.

"Marife Dizon, time of death 4:28 AM. Raven Dizon, time of death 4:28 AM." Nabingi ako nang marinig ko na naman 'yon. No. No... It can't be...

Universe came, but I don't really had the senses to talk to them. Sumabay pa 'tong bobong Thyron na 'to, he's flirting with Faye again! Sabay kumain, my ass.

I know he's just teasing me to eat, but I really got pissed off. Tss.

They helped me with everything. Lalo na si Leigh, she helped me with the funeral, burial, and everything. I was slightly happy when Faye agreed to come home with me.

Tulog ka na?" she asked. I didn't respond. I'm sleepy. I felt her move. Hindi pa ba siya inaantok? Hindi ba siya pagod?

"Aren't you going to sle--" I blinked a thousand times when she just disappeared infront of me! What the hell...

I tried getting back to my senses. I called Thyron and he came to my house immediately.

"So, you're saying you saw her disappear into thin air?"

"Yes!" I'm losing my mind! Where did she go?! I need her! Why did she leave me when I needed her?

Naisip ko na baka nawala rin siya dahil nawala ang parents ko. Then, there's one way to make her go back.

I looked at Thyron. He squited his eyes. Tinuro niya ako na parang alam na niya ang gagawin ko.

"No, no! No, you're not doing it again, Zy! Zy!" I looked at him with determination. You're going to forget this again. I'm silently hoping that he'll get his senses again and realized what I'm doing. But I'm afraid.

Biglang nagbago ang panahon, he slowly disappeared infront of me. Nagbago na rin ang itsura ng k'warto ko.

I sat on my bed. Exhausted.

"Chryszyler, kakain na!" I jumped out of my bed when I heard Mom calling me. I'm back again.

I spent months from waiting and looking for her! But I can't! I'm losing my mind.

Pumasok ako sa school, my mind is occupied. I can't find myself again. I already given her up. I accepted that she won't come back. She's gone.

Nagtaka ako nang may humawak sa braso ko. I stopped walking. My brows furrowed. Is she... Is she really this? She's infront of me?

She just walked here and pretend like nothing happened?

"Chryszyler, I'm s-sorry. Hindi k--"

"Who are you again?" I can pretend, too. I looked at her with curiosity. Trying to look like I don't know her.

"I-I'm sorry if I left you. Please don't joke lik--"

"I'm not joking, miss. I don't know you." Sorry? Bullshit! I became a mess for waiting and looking for you, but you're just sorry?!

She didn't say anything after that so I left her there. I was thinking on how the hell is she here again. I wanted to call Thyron, but he'll not remember this and he'll just get confuse. Tss.

"Chryszyler, we're going!"

We're in the car again. This is their first day on our business. This is also the time when I met Faye. I silently hope to see her again...

Nagulat ako nang makita ko siyang tumakbo sa gitna. I saw her roll on the ground. Blood. I saw blood.

I didn't think anymore. I just went out of the car and go to her. I held her, she's unconscious. Binuhat ko kaagad siya at pinasok sa sasakyan. Why the hell did you do that, baby? You're making me fucking worried.

"Dad, the Hospital, please." Hindi ko tinanggal ang tingin sakaniya. Please, stay with me. Please. I'm here, okay? Ako naman ang andito para sa 'yo.

The doctors immediately took action. I was just waiting there. Bawat minuto na lumilipas, dumodoble ang kaba ko.

"She's stable. She just need to be monitored." I heaved a sigh. Hindi na ako nag-aksaya ng oras at pinuntahan na siya agad. Their fixing everything in her room. Pinili ko ang k'warto kung saan siya magiging komportable.

I was there for her until she woke up. Hindi ko alam kung bakit pero lumabas agad ako ng k'warto niya at nagtago sakaniya. I called a nurse to check on her.

"How is she?" I asked.

"She just need rest and monitor her head and hand." Tumango ako at sumilip sa pinto niya. I didn't leave her. Ando'n lang ako sa labas. I felt that she's becoming lonely. I thought of going to Universe to tell them about Faye, but it will ruin the situation. Pumunta na lang ako kay Aling Melinda. She was so concerned. Balak na niyang iwan ang karinderya para puntahan si Faye. Good thing Universe showed up just in time.

I felt relieved when I saw her smiling again with Universe. I'm getting used to watch her from afar. But this asshole really can't stop his self from flirting with Faye, huh? Minsan, gusto ko na lang siya sapakin at kalimutan na magkaibigan kami.

I can't resist myself when I saw them having fun, just the two of them! Bakit ba kase naiwan 'tong dalawa na 'to?

Pumasok tuloy ako at sinungitan silang dalawa. Tss. Mas mukhang gusto niya 'yon kasama kaysa sa akin, a.

Mas lalo akong nag-aalala dahil sumakit na naman ang ulo niya. Isn't she getting better? Bakit sumasakit na naman?

"Her vitals are normal. We're still monitoring her. She'll be okay."

The doctors were lying. They didn't know what's the problem! Maayos lahat ng condition ni Faye tuwing tinetest siya, they just can't find why is her head still hurts.

But I really got relieved when she was okay and can get discharged. I really haven't talk to her casually. I'm not ready yet.

I auditioned at Universe. That's really what's going to happen. But the time isn't accurate. I got pissed off when I saw Thyron and Faye getting close to each other.

I got into a fight with Thyron and Faye's the reason. I don't want that. I value friendship.

I realized that I need to talk to them one by one. But I need to talk to her first. So, I did.

This isn't the talk I was planning. I got a little harsh on her. For the first time, she shows what she really feel. I didn't want her to stop talking, I want her to let go of the things that's bothering her. That's why I talked to her harshly.

Inaya ko siya sa likod ng karinderya. I need her to shout, scream, and say the things she want.

I ended up explaining everything and she explained what she felt after those times. This isn't really what I planned. I explained to her what I've been through, I regretted it immediately when she wanted to leave again... for my sake.

"So, everything will be go back when I'm gone... right?" My heart sank when I heard her said those words.

I shooked my head. No, don't leave me again. Ayon lang ba ang naiisip niya lagi? Ang umalis? Ang iwan ako? Kami? Why... Why are you making this so hard for us, baby?

"Don't go... Please... I'll endure it all! I will fucking endure it all! Please... Don't leave again..." I saw her cry again. Because of me. You're really dumb, Zy. Look what you did to her!

I can't bear to watch her tears fall of on her face. Lumuhod ako at pinunasan ang luha niya.

Bigla na lang siya tumayo kaya napatayo ako. I almost hugged her when she placed her palm on my cheeks. It's warm. Like... home.

"This is the only--" I didn'tet her finished. I closed my eyes when I felt like I'm going to cry. She'll leave me again... I opened my eyes and looked at her. Trying to persuade her.

"I told you, I will endure all of it. Just don't fucking leave me." I'm not persuading, I'm begging!

"You need to accept it. We're not meant for each other. You deserve better and I deserve better, but we're not better together." Fuck it!

"Then, let's make ourselves better for each other!" I shouted. Can't she see?! We're hurting because we always understand and help each other. "Bakit ang dali sa 'yong iwan ako?! Ang dali sa 'yo iwanan ako at ang dali mo rin bumalik na parang wala lang! And I'm here! Ang dali bumalik sa 'yo. Fuck." I covered my face when I felt my tears. Just fuck it. Why do we need to feel this pain?

I looked away when her eyes didn't change. She really wanted to go... She was desperate to go...

"'Till the stars let us meet again." Bakit ang dali sakaniya lahat ng 'to? Fuck the stars! I only want her! She's my star!

"Why are you doing this to me?"

"I want to save you from all of these."

"I don't need you to save me! I just wanted you to stay..." I broke down when she disappeared infront of me again. "I just want you to stay..." I whispered to myself.

Nagulat ako nang may humawak sa kwelyo ko at tinayo ako para lang suntukin. What the fuck?

Inis akong tumingin kay Thyron. Anong problema nito?! Biglang nanlaki ang mata ko. Did he... Did he saw all of it?

"You asshole!" sabi niya at sinuntok ulit ako. Tumayo agad ako para suntukin siya pabalik. Lumapit ako sakaniya at yinakap siya. I know it's weird but I need someone. I need my bestfriend.

"What did you do to her?!" he shouted. Tinulak niya ako palayo sakaniya. He's fuming mad again. Lumapit ako sakaniya at hinila siya para yakapin. You asshole. Nakadalawa kang sapak sa akin. Tangina nito.

Unti-unti kong binalik lahat ng memorya niya. I didn't left anything. I just bring it back. That's his, anyway.

Tinulak niya ako at tinuro.

"You asshole! Anong ginawa mo kay Faye?!" he shouted. I know his memories came back. He's not that angry anymore.

"She... She let me free."

"What?"

"She saved me from myself. I'm finally free..."

"So... she's..."

"Gone."

We were silent after that. It's hard to accept it, but I know this is what she wants. To accept it all and never go back.

I looked up. I saw the three stars shines. I don't know but I kinda felt like I need to wish.

I hope to see you again, my star.

----------------------

Epilogue will be up next. Thank you for being with Universe.