"Faye!" I looked at Charrieze who called me. Tinaas ko ang dalawang kilay. "Can you do Lerry's hom--" I cut her off.
"Sorry, I-I can't. May ginagawa pa kase ako. I'm busy. Sorry ulit." Umalis ako sa harap niya. I've been rejecting their favor these days.
Wala talaga akong ginagawa at gagawin. I need to rest. I need to take my time to reflect on what's happening. I need to have me time. This time, I need to choose myself, so I can improve and be myself again.
It was the usual day at school. Vacant namin ngayon. Gusto ko sana maglibot sa school para makapag-isip isip, kaso baka wala rin akong mapuntahan.
Sumandal ako sa upuan ko. I observe my classmates. They were having fun with their friends. Others are playing mobile games, talking with their friends, playing some paper games, and others went outside.
It's like they know how to spend their time. They won't let their time be wasted. They all have ways to spend their time with their friends.
I don't even have friends...
Suminghap ako sa naisip. I'm not sure what should I feel by observing them. Am I jealous? Or I just envy them? That's different, right?
Tumayo ako. Napag-isipan ko nalang na maglibot sa campus. Bumaba ako ng hagdan at nag-isip kung saan ako p'wede tumambay.
Naisip kong sa field nalang kaso naisip ko rin na baka maraming tao ro'n. If pupunta akong library, baka hindi ko mamalayan ang oras at mahuli ako sa klase.
I ended up walking to the benches. May mga tables and benches dito sa isang side ng campus. Marami ring mga student na nakatambay. I even saw my classmates, but I pretended I didn't notice them.
Doon ako umupo sa medyo malayo sakanila at may puno. Bakit kaya walang garden sa campus?
A room for comfort and peace of mind? A place where we could rest from all of the works in school.
I sighed. Maglalakad lakad na sana ako nang bigla kong marinig ang pinag-uusapan ng bagong dating na grupo ng kababaihan.
"Galing nila, 'no?" I heard the three girls giggled. They were looking at the cellphone, like they're watching something.
"Ano ulit group name nila?"
"Universe ata 'yon."
My heart skipped a beat, and then, it rapidly beats too much like it's going to explode.
Huminga ako nang malalim. Hindi ko napigilang mapasilip sa pinapanood nila sa cellphone ng isa. Hindi ko ganoon makita ang mga mukha ng mga miyembro.
Napatingin sa akin ang isang babae na may hawak ng cellphone. My eyes widen when all of them looked at me.
"H-Hello!" sabi ko sa taranta. Napapikit ako nang madiin sa kahihiyan. I blowed my cheeks. I was about to turn around when the girl, holding the phone, spoke.
"Hi! Fan ka rin nila?" she asked, referring to the band 'Universe' .
Hindi ko alam ang isasagot. Ni hindi ko nga alam kung pareho ba ang banda na iniidolo namin o pareho lang talaga sila ng pangalan.
It's impossible that the Universe they know and the Universe I know is the same.
I didn't had the chance to answer her question because she pulled me closer and made me sit beside her.
Napakurap-kurap pa ako. Hindi pa naproproseso sa utak ko ang nangyayari. Am I sitting with others? That are not school or academic related? Me? Sitting with them?
"Ilang taon ka na fan nila?" tanong ng isa. Chinita siya, wavy ang buhok na umaabot sa bewang, singkit ang mga mata, parang bagong ahit ang kilay. She's kinda cute, but mature.
"Kami, last week lang namin sila na-discover." Napatingin naman ako sa isang babae. She have this chubby cheeks, kaya mas nagmukha siyang bata, katulad ng isa ay wavy din ang buhok, pero may bangs siya. May specs din 'tong suot kaya mas lumaki ang mata niya.
"Ako pala si Victoria," sabi ng babae na hinila ako kanina. Kumpara sa dalawa, maikli ang buhok niya na hanggang balikat. Kapansin pansin din ang nunal niya sa gilid ng mata. "Ito naman si Wanda." Tinuro niya ang chinitang babae. "At ito naman si Aaliyah." Turo niya sa isa. Tinusok pa niya ang pisngi nito.
"Hello!" sabay sabi ng dalawa.
"Ikaw?" they asked.
"Uhh..." Hindi ko agad nakuha ang tanong nila. Tinatanong pala nila ang pangalan ko. "I-I'm F-Faye."
Napalobo ako sa pisngi nang mautal ako. Hindi ako sanay magpakilala, informally.
"Hi F-Faye!" Aaliyah said, mocking me. Natawa ako. Jeez, I emberassed myself to them.
"Here, o!" May inabot na keychain sa akin si Wanda. Kinuha ko 'yon kahit nagtataka. It's a read guitar keychain. May tatlong stars ding design ang gitara.
"Thank you," mahinang sabi ko.
"Kailangan na namin umalis, may class pa kami, e. See you around!" sabi ni Victoria.
"Bye, F-Faye!" natatawang ani ni Aaliyah. Tinawanan ko siya.
"You're cool, see you next time," sabi ni Wanda.
Ngumiti ako sakanila at kumaway. Nauna na silang umalis.
Tinitigan ko ang hawak na keychain at napangiti ulit. First gift from... uhh... schoolmates? I don't know how to label them. Are we friends? Co-fan? Let's just stick to the schoolmates.
Bumalik na rin ako sa room. Isinabit ko ang keychain sa butas ng zipper sa bag ko.
Napatagal ang tingin ko roon. I suddenly miss them. Is the band they're watching is the same band that I'm thinking? That's impossible, right? Maybe I should search it later for assurance. I bit my lower lip when the what ifs flood my mind.
What if they're the same band? What if something happened and they're here?
Puntahan ko kaya sila?
I got nervous with that thought. I was gone for a month. I know they're mad. I disappeared again, just like that.
Mas lalo akong kinabahan when I remember that Chryszyler saw me vanished into thin air. What will be his reaction when I go back?
I got scared. Maybe I'll just go when I'm ready. To know what will I say when they ask me and when they get mad.
I'll go when I'm ready.
Weeks passed, ayon lang ang nasa isip ko. Kung paano ako magpapakita sakanila.
"Apo, mukhang marami kang iniisip, a. Mahirap ba ang eskwela?"
Ngumiti ako kay Lolo at umiling. Maayos naman na ako sa school. Walang gumugulo sa akin para magpagawa ng kung ano. Siguro naisip din nilang busy ako.
Pagtapos namin kumain, pinatulog ko na si Lolo. Inayos ko muna ang higaan niya at pinainom ng gamot. Naging maayos na rin ang kalagayan niya.
I entered my room. Humiga ako sa kama. Nahagip ng mata ko ang keychain na binigay sa akin nina Victoria, Wanda, at Aaliyah. I remembered their names, huh?
I stared at the ceiling for so long. Debating with myself whether I should go to the other world or not.
I closed my eyes. Maybe next time. I'm still not ready to face them. I was about to go to sleep when I'm not comfortable from my position.
Umupo ako at dumilat para ayusin ang unan pero iba ang nakita ko.
I'm in a field! School field!
I looked around. My gaze stopped when I saw a familiar building. Building of where Chryszyler's room at. I'm in their world? And in his school?
The sun is already set. May nakita na akong iilang estudyante sa paligid. Early birds students.
It felt like I was gone for how many years. It feels surreal walking here.
Lumapit ako sa entrance gate. Am I going to wait for him to enter there or am I just going to wait for him after school?
Maybe I'll just wait after school. Tatambay muna ako sa karinderya ni Aling Melinda. I miss Aling Melinda! My second mom. Kumusta na kaya siya? Is managing the karinderya doing well?
Lalabas na sana ako pero nagdagsaan ang mga estudyante. Hindi na muna ako nakipagsabayan sakanila.
All of them were entering, it's so awkward when I'm the only one who will exit the school in the morning.
The students turned their gaze on the entrance gate. As in sabay-sabay sila! Napatingin din ako ro'n dahilan para matigilan ako.
He's wearing his uniform. He really looks clean while wearing it. As always, he got this bored look and his hair is fixed. Nakapamulsa siyang naglalakad.
I can't feel my heart. I don't know whether it stopped beating or it beats so fast that made it numb.
Napaigtad pa ako nang mapatingin siya sa gawi ko. Ni hindi siya nagulat. Ni hindi napalitan ang ekspresyon sa mukha niya.
Kinabahan ako ro'n. Is he that mad? Is he avoiding me? Pretending he don't know me?
Gusto kong malaman 'yong sagot para alam ko kung ano ang p'wede kong gawin para mapatawad niya ako.
"Chryszyler!" I called him. Hindi siya tumigil, ni hindi rin siya lumingon! No one dared to look at me. Ni hindi rin nila ako pinapansin. Am I invisible? May nangyari ba sa pag travel ko? What's wrong?
Lumapit ako sakaniya at hinawakan ang braso niya para pigilan siya sa paglalakad. Tumigil siya.
Napabitaw ako sa braso niya nang tignan niya ako. His brows furrowed. Lahat din ng mga estudyante namin ay napatigil. I looked down because of embarrassment.
"Chryszyler, I'm s-sorry. Hindi k--"
"Who are you again?" Napatigil ako sa tanong niya. Napatingin ako sakaniya. His brows is still furrowed and his expression change to confusion and curiosity.
He's joking, right? It's because he's mad at me, right?
"I-I'm sorry if I left you. Please don't joke lik--"
"I'm not joking, miss. I don't know you."
Nalaglag ang panga ko sa narinig. Hindi ako nakapag-react agad. Umalis siya sa harapan ko pagtapos no'n.
Why can't he remember me? He's not joking? What's happening? What's wrong?