When the three arrived we were quiet, well, I'm quiet the whole day. Thy knows why, but I'm thankful he didn't push to know what is our connection.
"Faye, alis na kami. Bukas ulit!" Jeruza tried to be energetic. She noticed my sudden silence, all of them did. Siguro ayaw muna nila ako tanungin.
I smiled, kahit hindi nila nakikita dahil sa oxygen mask ko. Nakita naman nila ang mata ko, kaya para kahit papaano, bago sila umalis hindi ako nakasimangot. "Ingat. Thank you for today."
They were hesitating to leave me because I'm not in myself. I convinced them that I'll be okay, ayaw ko na sila pag-alalahanin, ayaw ko na rin sila magstay pa dahil babalik na ako mamaya.
They usually go home at 10 PM, pero they extended their time, kaya 11 PM na sila aalis. Hindi ko rin alam bakit tumagal sila nang isang oras, baka hindi rin namin napansin ang oras kanina.
They left. I'm all alone again. Humiga ako sa kama ko. I wished to go back to my world immediately. I didn't had the chance to glance at the stars. I'm too lazy to get out of my bed.
Minulat ko ang mata ko nang maramdaman na wala na akong oxygen mask. Umupo ako sa kama. Andito ako sa k'warto ko sa bahay. How did I end up here? Hindi ba dapat nasa nurse office ako?
"Gising ka na pala." I turned my head to the door when it opened and someone spoke. Umayos ako ng upo.
"Tita..." Ngumiti siya sa akin. She checked me before giving me a tray of food. "Ano po nangyari?"
"You passed out. Buti ako ang nasa emergency call information mo sa school, kung hindi, hindi ka makakauwi. Hindi naman kaya ng Lolo mo na dalhin ka pabalik sa bahay niyo."
"Kumusta po si Lolo?" I suddenly got scared. Baka mamaya may nangyari sakaniya sa pag-aalala sa akin.
"Inatake siya kanina dahil nag-aalala sa 'yo, buti at naging okay siya agad. Katutulog nga lang, kanina ka pa inaantay magising." Yumuko ako. Tinignan ko ang tray na hawak niya.
Napansin niya 'yon kaya nilapag niya sa kama ko. Akmang susubuan niya ako pero natawa ako at sinabi na kaya ko na.
Ilang days din na pabalik balik si Tita sa bahay to check up on me and Lolo. Whenever I got back from school, she's there. Kaya hindi na rin kami nahirapan ni Lolo.
My routine is the same. Go to school, go home, go to Universe's world, go back. I now have a plan what will I do. Finally, after how many overthinking, doubts, anxiety, pain, I already come up with a plan. I just hope it will go well.
"Faye, inom ka na gamot." Ngumiti ako kay Jeruza nang abutan niya ako ng gamot ko. I'm here at their world. Nawala na ang sakit ng ulo ko at next week daw, p'wede na ako ma-discharge.
They were all here again with me. Chryszyler didn't visit anymore after that day. Hindi ko na muna siya inisip, I want to focus myself to Universe who's here.
The day went just smooth and normal. It's kinda scary to know it's going smoothly.
We were all planning their next gig. It's going to be at the fashion show. I remember, it's our first time attending's Universe's gig with Chryszyler. They got invited to play next week, good thing I will be discharged by then.
We all looked at the door when it opened. Kumurap pa ako nang ilang beses. Chryszyler's parents went in smiling. Tita Marife glanced at my friends and smile wildly. It gave me shivers down my spine when I saw her smile. I'm still not used to see them like this... alive and well...
Padabog na isinara ni Chryszyler ang pinto, causing me to jump slightly. Tinawanan ako ni Thy kaya sinamaan ko siya ng tingin. Ngumisi lang siya bago lumapit sa couch. I saw how Chryszyler looked at Thy with ranging eyes, but he's still calm and look bored. How can he do that?
"Maayos na ba ang pakiramdam mo? Balita namin p'wede ka na ma-discharge next week?" Ngumiti ako sa galak dahil gusto ko na rin umalis sa hospital.
"Opo," masiglang sagot ko. Tumingin siya sa mga kaibigan ko. "Mga kaibigan ko po, Jeruza Leigh, Drake, and Thy." Pinakilala ko sila according sa order nila sa couch. Pinigilan ko ang tawa ko dahil nagsisiksikan sila ro'n.
"Mabuti at may kasama ka."
Hindi sila tumagal do'n sa Hospital. Inayos lang nila ang bills ko at binayaran bago umalis ulit. Walang kibo si Chryszyler kanina, maski bulong o pagreklamo niya sa ibang bagay, wala akong narinig. He's too quiet earlier.
"Good afternoon, folks!" the emcee greeted. It's going to start...
The crowd won't stop from screaming. Nasa gitna kami ni Jeruza. Last time, I'm with Chryszyler.
Universe started playing. The crowd became more loud and wild. Jeruza were screaming so loud that it made me scream loud too. It was fun.
They finished their first song and the crowd wants more. They can't get enough of them neither I can. After the crowd requested, of course, Universe obliged.
"Alright," Thy said. He suddenly looked at me. Nagtataka ko siyang tinignan. "This is for a friend, she requested this on our last gig. Pero umalis siya kaagad, that's why she didn't had the chance to hear it," he said and smiled at me. Oh. Right. This happened that time too... I thought it will change.
They started singing Ignorance by Paramore. I can't help myself but to looked at the spot where me and Chryszyler seated.
Hindi ko alam kung namamalikmata lang ako pero nakita ko siya. Even without a spotlight, I saw him standing brightly than the lights on the stage, brightly than the stars in the sky.
I jumped a little when our eyes met. He's eyes sparkled because of the lights coming from the stage.
While Thy is singing on the background, we just stared at each other. Like we want to embrace one another.
I saw many lights everywhere but I only got structed by him. He's not even a light!
The song ended so as our stare. Nanlumo ako nang umiwas siya ng tingin. Look at me. Look at me like before...
I didn't looked away. I just stare at him like if I would look away from him, I can't see him again. I can't look at him again.
He's like a star in the sky that I can only stare and impossible to reach. If he's going to be a sun, I would still look at him even if it can hurt my eyes.
If he's the one's shining, I wont hesitate to stare at him until we can shine together.
He's the only star I want to reach even there's a millions of other stars that is more shining.