"Why?"

Hahah. Who's updating so fast? ME. Also, we're SO CLOSE to a 30 parts/oneshot milestone!! I never thought we'd get so far, and thank you all for taking the time to read all my little brain rot ideas. I never would've made it without all of your support, through your reads, comments and votes. Thank you all.

       major TW for drug mentions, drinking mentions, smoking mentions and pretty graphic death & somewhat graphic overdose description?

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Katsuki knew Kariage did drugs, smoked and drank. The other made no moves to hide it anyway. But even if Kariage insisted that he was doing a safe amount, everyone knew it was a lie. A fucking lie.

But even if it was a lie, he seemed to at least try a bit to not overdose or some shit. Hospital visits were, thankfully, short and rare. Obviously, it didn't change the fact that it was still a hospital visit but it was a small comfort for Katsuki.

If Katsuki was being completely honest, there was once a time in middle school where he also did drugs and crap with Kariage. Yes, it was fun, yes he regrets it, no he wasn't caught and no, he doesn't do that kinda stuff anymore. Well, he did. It was just on the rare occasion. You can't judge Katsuki though, it was amazing stuff. He knew it was unhealthy but it's hard to just not do it at all.

Kariage on the other hand, had an addiction. No sugar-wording it; Kariage had an addiction. Yeah. It wasn't hard to see but it wasn't that obvious for other people. Even Katsuki missed the fact he was an addict for two years. Every so often, when he looks back on those years, he feels bad. He should've noticed and done something.

Dwelling on the past does you no good, yes, but that doesn't stop him from just.. Dwelling on the past.

He wasn't a horrible person though. He did try to make Kariage stop or at least take less drugs, smokes or drinks. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't.

Katsuki knows he should try harder to get him to stop but the thing is, trying to make a loved one stop hurts you too. Seeing them beg for just one more, or even get mad at you hurts. He's not strong enough to deal with that, as shameful as it is to admit.

Now though? Now, Katsuki feels like someone let a bear rip his heart to shreds. Why? Why, you ask?

Because Katsuki is currently holding his boyfriend on the dirty floor of their bathroom, actually sobbing and also on a call with the fucking hospital. Why? Because Kariage went in to take some random drug shit and collapsed.

"Hurry the fuck up, you fucking useless pieces of fucking shit!" He yelled into the phone with hatred. The venom and raspiness in his throat made him sound far more threatening that he was in his current state.

"Uhm, sir? We have an ambulance on the way. Please remain calm and could you stay on the call with me?" The lady on the other side of the phone answered after a hot second, Katsuki was ignoring her though, because he could feel the life just seeping out of Kariage's body; his pulse was slow, his skin was cold and he could just feel it. "Sir? I need you to say something. Has something happened to the person you're holding?"

Katsuki took one shaky breath. Screw being polite - as if he was being polite in the first place. "He is fucking DYING." He whispered. "And you want me to just 'say something'? Bastards."

Even through the phone, he could tell the lady was feeling uncomfortable. "Sorry, sir. Uh, please stay calm though."

Katsuki didn't even bother answering at all this time. Why should he? There was no point in this stupid chatter. Kariage was dying and-and... Kariage was fucking dying, ok?! Do you expect Katsuki to be even remotely okay? He pulled Kariage closer to his chest and threw his phone at the fucking wall. A crash and he already knew it was broken. Whatever. The call wasn't doing anything so it didn't matter.

What mattered was the fact that Kariage was still dying in his arms. SIlent, cold and pale. He was fucking dying.

Katsuki squeezed his eyes shut, acting like a little kid again. He didn't want this. He didn't fucking want this to happen. Why him? Why did this shit always happen to him!?

And of course, just then a frightening cold hand grasped his cheek, "I love you, so much Kat...I'm sorry.."

His brain short circuited as the hand fell and danced against the bathroom tiles, "No, no no. This- No!" He sobbed, fresh tears streaming down his face. Katsuki just kept crying. Why?

A siren jolted Katsuki's thoughts. Oh, so now the fucking ambulance was here? Now only? Fuck those bitches.

Katsuki gripped onto Kariages dead body as if it was his lifeline. No pulse at all now. No warmth. He glanced at his bitterly cold face; it was smiling. A small wave of relief washed over Katsuki. At least he died.. Smiling? Fuck. That sounded horrible.

As a fresh wave of tears came onto Katsuki, he thought. Why was life so damn cruel to him? Why did it take his love from him? How was he expected to go on like this?

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UNEDITED AGAIN because I'm so fucking lazy.

Anywayy, hope you somehow enjoyed this! <33

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