Heyyy. So life sucks for some reason but that's fine. I also have to walk 1.8km just to go to school as well so that's great. Onto the story tho [no angst don't worry]

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When Katsuki was 5, he remembered seeing another kid. It wasn't just any kid though! It was a shady looking kid (he learnt about the word 'shady' in school last week). But the kid didn't seem to be mean or bad or not nice. He clearly wasn't as cool as Katsuki but.. he seemed cool enough to hang with Katsuki.

So it was Katsuki's mission to make the kid his friend!

He had a whole game plan and everything. Katsuki smirked, he was using big words and cool phrases a lot these days!

Step 1. Say hi

Step 2. Make him my friend

Step 3..

Well, there wasn't a step 3 actually. That didn't matter though. A determined look fell across his small, defiant and cool face. Next week, mark his words, next week Katsuki would get another follower!

But the next Monday something really bad happened! The shady kid moved schools. Sensei told Katsuki that.

When Katsuki was 10, he saw a familiar looking shady kid loitering around his school. It was weird, he knew that, but he had the strangest urge to befriend that loser. It was terribly stupid. Katsuki didn't even need a friend; he didn't need more extras following him and he most certainly didn't need to go try befriend someone!

So what if just seeing that boy gave Katsuki the warm feelings?  It didn't matter! That kid was so weird and odd and anyway, Pa gave him warm feelings too, and sometimes Ma did too! Heck, sometimes even Aunty gave him the nice feelings!

He'd rather die than admit it, but sometimes 'Zuku gave him warm feelings. Of course, the 'sometimes' turned into never after Deku became a creep.

But no matter how hard Katsuki tried, he could never fully push the strange kid out of his head for a good two months.

When Katsuki was 13, he saw that very same intriguing kid. Not just loitering around though; this time the guy was in his school.

He seemed to be in the same age group as Katsuki and same grade, yet not the same class. Weirdly enough, Katsuki felt discouraged by that. It was almost as if he had a crush on some random guy—

Nope. Not thinking about that at all.

He didn't know why he was so invested in this strange kid..maybe he could be useful to Katsuki. It didn't matter. That kid soon disappeared again, only a week after Katsuki first saw him at school.

When Katsuki was almost 14, but still 13, he spoke to the kid. Surprisingly enough, his name wasn't Blade or Shadow or something dark. It was a rather cute name, if Katsuki was being completely honest.

That boys name was Kariage.

While it's not a big achievement to just get someone's name, Katsuki still felt proud of himself for doing it. Had it been anyone else, they would definitely just chicken out! Katsuki was just too good for this world.

When Katsuki was officially 14, Kariage became his friend. It doesn't seem like much, to be fair, but nonetheless, he felt proud of himself.

He really was just amazing, huh?

A plus side is that Kariage also hated stupid Deku! Man, Kariage just gets better and better. However, Kariage wasn't like the rest of Katsuki's friends. He.. well, it seemed like he actually cared about him, and  actually liked Katsuki for being Katsuki.

Ugh. Feelings are stupid.

It's all so confusing and dumb. Who cares, Katsuki scoffed, besides, Kariage was pretty funny. That was a huge compliment coming from Katsuki. But he wasn't lying. Kariage was genuinely funny and humorous and kind and nice..

But that's just what friends think of friends, okay? Don't read into it!

When Katsuki was 16, Kariage had become an important person in his life. Of course, Katsuki himself was obviously an important person in Kariage's life too. Right?

Whatever. It didn't really matter (what a lie) to Katsuki. Besides, it was a beneficial relationship they had. Katsuki needed followers and people to help him talk shit about Deku and Kariage needed friends to not look lonely.

But these days.. things were weird. Kariage seemed different. For one, he seemed to jokingly flirt with Katsuki and it didn't really seem like jokes anymore. Another thing was that Katsuki wished that they weren't jokes, which was concerning. 

The more important and notable difference was that Kariage was handsome, hot, sexy, beautiful and just..

Gorgeous.

Wow. Wasn't that weird? Why would a friend think another friend was all those traits if they didn't have a cru...

Oh.

Oh wow, Katsuki froze in the middle of aisle 13, cooking. He had a crush on his best friend.

When Katsuki was 16 and a half, Kariage was his boyfriend.

When Katsuki was 21, Kariage was his husband.

When Katsuki was 97, he had officially outlived the Queen.

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I'm so sorry for the joke at end I'm so sorry lol

It's pretty inconsistent because it took me literally 3 days to finish but who cares? I also wanna say that this little oneshot book will be coming to an end soon, not right now, but soon. Maybe at 30 oneshots? IDK. Another lil fyi, I do go by any pronouns!

I hope you enjoyed this mess of a oneshot!! ♥ ♥ ♥

(PS, you can request oneshots because I am terrible at coming up with ideas!)