Uhh so it's been like a little over 3 months but in my defence I'm depressed and a loser lmao enjoy this angst 

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Katsuki stared at the clock, watching the hands tick. A glum, empty feeling crept down from his spine into his stomach. He continued to watch the clock, thinking. Why was he even here? His goal was to become the No.1 Hero but that's impossible now because of Deku...yeah, why did Deku get the overpowered quirks? Why him? Why did all of Katsuki's hard work mean nothing in the face of raw power?

What was even the point of living? Kariage. But was that his only reason? God, he's so pathetic. He's even living for the sake of someone else. It's not worth it. All his shitty feelings and this disgustingly cold feeling that persisted. It wasn't worth suffering for someone who didn't deserve to deal with such a miserable coward.

"What should I do, then?" Katsuki whispered, staring blankly as the clock struck 12 AM. He hadn't eaten in a day despite how fucking full and fat he felt. A hand absentmindedly reached down to grab his tummy fat. No, he didn't need to eat. The human body could survive for three weeks without eating so he'd be perfectly fine. So long as he drank water, it was fine. It's not like anybody cared if he ate or not. His parents packed up and left for a business trip without regard for their son, Kariage...well, Kari just stopped talking to him so obviously he didn't care either.

Did anyone care about Katsuki?

He scoffed; what a silly question. Of course not. Everyone thought he was a heartless jerk who bullied a poor little kid for something they couldn't control. It's not like they're wrong. Katsuki placed a hand on his chest glumly. Despite feeling a slow heartbeat, he felt like his heart had already been ripped out and tossed aside. There was an empty and hopeless feeling in his chest. Katsuki glared at the clock. He hated clocks. He really fucking hated clocks. They had no reason to exist. People just threw an offhand glance at them before throwing him out, laughing and scoffing at how worthless and weak he was.

No, he's not talking about clocks, is he?

He exhaled raggedly. This was a moment where he felt as though he was crying without the tears. Kariage would know how to help. If Kariage were here, everything would be better. Unlike him, Kariage was smart, beautiful and...an unloyal bastard who abandoned him. Why the fuck was Katsuki thinking of him? He of all people. A harsh, hot headache overcame Katsuki.

"Fuck! FUCK!" He snarled, dragging his gaze away from the stupid clock. His eyes scanned through the mess in his house. Empty ramen boxes, spoons, forks, plates and more littered around. "Disgusting," Katsuki muttered, feeling heavy and ashamed. A little voice, the voice who bullied Deku in middle school, popped into his head once again.

"Why should we feel ashamed? It's all their fault. We aren't the ones to blame. Come on, let's go tell them how hopeless and pathetic they are." It whispered carefully, its honeyed words caressing his broken mind.

Katsuki paused. Why should he feel ashamed? Was it right..? But then, the memories of what it made him do and how it ruined his fucking life rushed in, "Shut the FUCK UP!" He screamed, swivelling around to throw a knife into the wall. Uneven, ragged breaths escaped his foul mouth. Shaking with anger, Katsuki gripped the counter. Where did he pick up a knife?

"You can't do that to yourself; do it to them. The ones who made us suffer."

Katsuki threw a plate at the window.

"Why do you hurt yourself? Hurt them; it's all their fault we ended up like this."

Katsuki hurled a tissue box at the TV, pushing it to the floor and shattering the screen.

"Hush, stop making a mess. What would your mother think?"

He stopped throwing things. What would his mother think of him? Her little Katsuki, making a mess while she was gone. How ashamed would she be? Overwhelming guilt. A painful stab in both his heart and head. Katsuki felt...he didn't know what he felt. Trembling, he grabbed his phone and opened up his messages. Even though he was a heartless bastard, he could at least tell her what happened to her house before she came and saw it first-hand.

Would..would she hate him? What about his dad? Katsuki paused, staring at the notification messages.

'Hey, sorry about the loss of Kariage..'

'I'm sorry for your loss.'

'I feel so bad for you!'

'Kariage wouldn't want you to sulk inside all day...'

'Sorry for the loss.'

What? Did Kariage die? How? How? How? How? And why didn't Katsuki know? Was he so selfish that he didn't notice Kariage's death? He just assumed he'd been ghosted by Kariage. He's so pathetic?! He should just die. He should stop bothering everyone and just die.

"That's right...after ruining everyones lives, you should just leave their lives completely, right?" It whispered gleefully.

Katsuki didn't have the will to disagree with it. He walked to the cabinet and grabbed the biggest, sharpest knife. Katsuki angled it towards his neck, ignoring the way It chanted 'yes' over and over. This was for the sake of everyone else. He took a deep breath - when was the last time he slept? At least now, he'd sleep forever - and shoved it inside his throat.

Death wasn't instant or painless.

Katsuki's eyes bulged as he dropped the knife. Blood sprayed from his throat and mouth and eyes and everything was fucking red. He fell to his knees, tears falling and mixing with the hot red liquid. Pain overtook every single sense Katsuki had and he tried to scream but it just hurt even more and god, more blood squirted from his throat.

Red.

That's all he could feel, see and hear.

Actually, he couldn't see anymore. But it stopped hurting so it's fine. It was done. Katsuki grimaced, the pain..wasn't worth it. He shuddered, remembering the sharp white pain surging through every sense. It was not worth it.

A warm hand shook Katsuki's body and his eyes flew open. He swore he died, he swore it. What the hell-

"Kariage..?" Katsuki stared in bewilderment. "Aren't you.."
Kariage giggled, throwing his arms around the other, "Wakey wakey!" Katsuki allowed him, so he could feel a warmth he hadn't felt in a long time. He reached over to pat Kari's back with a soft smile.

Then he realised that the real Kariage had dark brown, almost black eyes. This person has bright gold eyes.

"I'm glad you finally realised that." That disgustingly familiar voice whispered in his ear, that horrible honeyed voice. "Now, I can finally have fun." A blade pressed against Katsuki's cheek.

This was not worth it.

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oops my hand slipped and Kariage was nowhere to be found haha but I hope you enjoyed