The last song.

Chapter 22

If I could turn back the clock, I wanted to go back to the time where I am still a kid. A kid with a happy family. A kid who will only cry when his playmate don't want to play with him.

How I wish I was not that kid whose always getting sick, so that my mom will not going to work also like my dad.

All of my life I am blaming my self for being so weak. If I knew that my life would be like this, I wish I didn't born in this world. I don't want this life I had anymore.

It's been a five days since my ate died and this is will be the last day to see her lifeless body. Some of my friends and classmates are visited me. Some people tried to cheer me, but it can't help me.

Giljean keep staying on my side. I keep ignoring her after we talked in the hospital. Giljean tried to talk to me but I keep ignoring her.

Giljean and Kuya Ivan already filed a case about Giljean's dad. Giljean also talked to his dad to turned him in. The revelation became a hot topic, because everyone thought that the Governor are really generous.

Now, I decided to make myself have a distance on her for awhile. I know it could be hard also for her, but this is much better. We will just going to hurt each other. I can't hate her, but I can't assure that I will not going to blame her. I want to have a distance to her now, because even seeing her was hurting me.

“Benj, the priest is already there.” I heard kuya Ivan said behind my back.

I keep staring at the coffin, “Are you okay, Kuya?” I asked out of the blue.

Kuya Ivan is an attorney. He told me that Ate Giljean wants to clear my parents name. That's why since they became a couple, they keep investigating about what happened 10 years ago.

Kuya Ivan is the son of Atty. Gerald Cuengco, the lawyer who handled our family case before. That's why when I heard his surname, it's really sounds familiar.

“I would lie if I say yes... I'm not okay, Benj. I chased your sister for how many years, and when I finally had her...the destiny decided to separate us again. It hurt me knowing that...my plans together with her, will never be able to happen. Maybe, in another life...she would be my girl, we'd keep our promises, behind against the world.” we are now both crying in front of her coffin. People keep staring on us with sympathy eyes.

The whole mass I am just crying. I just can't imagine my self later to go in our house without seeing her presence.

I can't imagine my self without a sister whose always teasing me. A sister who will always jumped on my bed if I don't want to wake up early. I...I just can't imagine to eat a dinner without her. I will no longer bumped her head by my spoon.

“Can I sing a song?” I asked after the mass.

All people are now staring at me. Peji handed me his guitar while trying to hold on his tears.

“You give me hope,
The strength, the will to keep on;
No one else can make me feel this way

And only you
Can bring out all the best I can do;
I believe you turn the tide
And make me feel real good inside.

You pushed me up
When I'm about to give up;
You're on my side when no one seems to listen
And if you go,
You know the tears can't help but show
You'll break this heart and tear it apart;
Then suddenly the madness starts

It's your smile,
Your face, your lips that I miss,
Those sweet little eyes that stare at me
And make me say,
I'm with you through all the way.

'Cause it's you
Who fills the emptiness in me;
It changes ev'rything, you see,
When I know I've got you with me

You pushed me up
When I'm about to give up;
You're on my side when no one seems to listen
And if you go,
You know the tears can't help but show
You'll break this heart and tear it apart;
Then suddenly the madness starts

It's your smile,
Your face, your lips that I miss,
Those sweet little eyes that stare at me
And make me say,
I'm with you through all the way.

'Cause it's you
Who fills the emptiness in me;
It changes ev'rything, you see,
When I know I've got you with me.It's your smile,
Your face, your lips that I miss,
Those sweet little eyes that stare at me
And make me say,
I'm with you through all the way.

'Cause it's you
Who fills the emptiness in me;
It changes ev'rything, you see,
When I know I've got you with me.”

Almost all of the people here are now crying. I don't care if I am not in my tone, I just wanted to sing a last song before she gone.

I also heard what Peji said that the priest needs to leave early but I don't care. I still continue the song.

They said, song is the universal language. But I hope this song can be heard also by this universe to make them decided to returned her back on me.