Expectations,
are the real enemy.

Chapter 2

“Sorry Benj, but we don't have any vacant now. We didn't accept a new applicants.” Sheena said.

I am trying to apply. I want to find another work to help my Ate. All of my life she's always the one who provide my needs. I'm already 19, I can work too.

I remember ten years ago how my sister suffered from everything. She's just 15 years old that time but she need to stand as my mother, father and as a sister.

I remember how she was trying to laugh while shredding her tears, just to show to me that everything right was fine.

I know how hard for her to live with a tons of problems and responsibilities.

She's just fifteen and she need also to feel of being cared, but she need to work instead of studying.

“Eat first, Benj. You don't want to make your ate cry, right?” she said while she was blowing the food on the spoon.

“Sorry ate, you need to work at your early age just to provide my needs. I know how hard it was for you.”

“shh, it's okay. As long as it is for you, your ate will be okay. Don't think about that. Just focus on your study, that is the only thing that I want. Okay?”

If there's the most selfless person in the world, it would be my sister. She's the only woman I know who can sacrifice everything for my sake. I am the guy, but I can't do anything to help her.

It was in the midst of three thirty in the morning when I wake up because of the familiar sound.

I know my sister always crying every night. I always heard that, but I act like I didn't.

I know that she's just pretending that she's okay, where's the fact she's not. I know how she badly wanted to give up, but she couldn't because of me.

“Congratulation, Bunso!” ate greeted me when I got my diploma and my medals.

“Thank you ate, thank you for everything. Thank you for not giving up on me.” I said with a teary eyes.

“You know that ate will never give up if it is all about for you, right?” she said while crying.

“Congratulations again. Let's go home. It's already... ” she said while looking at her old watch.

“11:11” she said.

“Ate, let take a wish. They said, you can wish during 11:11” I vigorously said.

“Game.”  she said while wiping her tears.

“what is your wish ate?”

“ I wish that I can still be able to see you becoming a successful  man in the future.”  I made face because of what she said. She sounds like.. Never mind!

“Stop frowning. What is your wish?” she asked while wearing a fake smile.

“I wish, you will let yourself free from everything. I wish that you'll also choose  yourself  before me. I wish you will find the happiness that you deserve. I wish you will be brave enough to choose your happiness sometimes, because that is what you deserve. To be happy. ”

“BENJJJJ!!!!” I get back on my sanity when I heard Peji calling my name.

“What?”

“It was my 10th times calling and shouting on you but you're not listening. Did you clean your ears, consult to your doctor, you badly need that.” he sarcastically said.

“Psh, I'm just thinking about something.”

We are still here in a restaurant where I tried to apply. How I wish I can also treat my sister here.

“You're thinking about something, or you're just thinking about the girl who named Giljean?” he said with a teasing smile.

“Idiot.”

“Are you afraid of her? ” he asked and continued sipping on his Mango Shake.

“Why would I ? I almost forgot that game if you didn't mentioned that.”

I told Peji about Giljean and her challenge. Peji is my best friend since then. He's just annoying most of the time but he never failed to make me laugh in his stupidity in life.

I can say that Peji is the person you can called, ‘one call away.’ He's always helping me.

“You are aware that, tomorrow, the UP Diliman will release the results of examination right?”

I almost choke when Peji said that. I forgot about that. Maybe I was really became busy this month for finding a job and any extra racket just to save money.

“No. I forgot.”

“Are you ready for your defeat?” he teasingly said.

“I grow up with a high expectations to my self, and I know this time, I can win that game.” I confidently said.

“Benjj! The results are already released by the UP” my sister vigorously said.

“that's good, then.” I said while still trying to get back on sleep.

“that's good, then.” I heard Ate sarcastically repeated what I've said.

“Aren't you excited? ”

“How can I be, if that's mean you will going to work harder again.” I said while my eyes are still closed.

I could feel how she got stopped from jumping on my bed because of what I've said.

“We already talked about that, Benj.” Ate said with authority.

“Get up, and see the result.”

“Hidalgo...Herminda...Hetosis”
I said while browsing on my newsfeed, trying to see if I am belong to those who got passed.

.“....Hal-Haldane!!!” I jumped when I saw my name on the list.

I also tried to search for Giljean Abando's name on the list.

“Abad...Abando....” for the 10th times, I checked if what I saw is right.

“Topnotcher?”

“How did she got the first spot? What a ridiculous.”

I still can't believe that she became the topnotcher of our batch.

I expect that I will win that game.

“I beat you.”  I read Giljean's message popped up on my phone.

For the first time, I experience being defeated.