Giljean Hacinto Abando POV

Epilogue

No matter how tragic your past is, never allow it to interfere your happiness in the present. Allowing your past to interfere your present, is like allowing yourself to stock from the pain that brought by your past.

It was like you are putting yourself in a jail whose surrounded by regrets, pain, and hatred. And being in jailed will never make you able to see the real happiness in the outside world because you chose to be stock on there.

The whole time of my life I tried my best to be not stocked in my past and be brave enough to face the present.

I grew up without a complete family. And growing up without any guidance of them is worst. But in my whole life, I trained my self to not look for something where I can't able to have. Because once I did, I am just giving myself a false hope, hope that can only lead me from disappointments.

I grew up without any plans for my self. Because even me was afraid to failed my self from my own expectations. I just wanted to go to school, but even school makes me feel how outcast I am. An honor student that when you ask about what is your dream, she will answer you 'none', ironic right?

But I change that kind of mindset when I met Benj Zedrick Haldane. He thought me how to dream for myself and for the world that where I am.

That day, when I met him, I've feel alive for the first time. He makes me realized what I really wanted to be. That was my first time to have a goal in life; to have a courage to reach something that my heart really longs for.

I admitted, that the first day I've met him, he gives a strange feeling. That even those butterflies on my stomach are fluttering their wings while I am talking with him. That day, I planned to give him a dare. I planned to be the topnotcher, son that I have a reason to be close on him.

"Gilj!" My heart beats so fast when I heard a familiar voice calling me. I slowly turning back to face him.

"Oh, Yes Benj?" I tried to talk in a normal way even my chest are keeps beating so fast.

"I...I just wanted to ask you a favor. " I keep to stare at him. He's now getting shy, probably because he's asking me a favor.

"What's that?" I curiously asked.

"We...we need to edit and put some filters on our broadcasting video. Ahmm...I just want to ask you if it's okay to get your help? I mean, you are taking Computer Engineering course and no doubt if you're good on that."

I bit my lower lip when he finished his statement. I mean, it's just a little things to me, no problem about that. He don't need to be shy like that.

"Of course! I'll help you, no problem on that." I smile widely on him. I saw how he feel so relief because of what I've said.

He texted me the place and the hour when we will going to make his broadcasting video. That day he looks so weird because the way he look at me, it's like we don't see each other in a years. Even his friend notice that, but I chose to ignore those signs. I hate giving my self a false hope, anyway.

"Do you want to go somewhere? " he asked when we finished their project.

Since I still don't want to go home, I accepted his offer. We had a deep talk that night, it revolves more on about politicians.

"What type of people you hated the most?" I asked out of the blue.

"Of course, those Politicians and reporters." he answered.

I expected to him that he will give me an answer like this. It's really obvious on him that he had an experience about something that has a connection to those Politicians and reporters.

But that night, I regretted that I used my card to make him tell to me about his past. I really cried that night to the point that I can't sleep. I know who's the Governor he's pertaining. It was my dad, and I know if he will know about this, he will ignore me forever.

You can call me selfish, but I choose to make a wrong decision again. I let my self to fall him in love with me too.

While he was courting me, I saw his willingness to do everything just for me. He also invited me for his sister birthday. That day, I decided to tell him the truth before I give my yes to him.

That day, I brought those evidences that I kept for so long. But when I saw how Benj happy that day, I decided to back out. But Ate Serene saw what I am holding at.

We had a deep talk together with her boyfriend.

"Y-you mean, you are keeping this for 10 years?" Ate Serene said after she browse those papers in the envelope.

I nodded, "Sorry. This day, I decided to tell about that to Benj, but he looks so happy to day that's why I am still doubting."

I know he will get mad if he knew that I am keeping a secret to him. Ate Serene keep those and she also talk to her Lawyer boyfriend about those.

But I never expect the next word that she uttered, "Amor Fati'" I look at her, totally got confused.

"It's a Latin word, meaning to say, Love your fate. Learn how to love your fate, and be brave to face it." I expect that she will going to hate me because I am a daughter of a politician who ruined their family, but I was wrong. I realized how really good they are.

I let months to passed by, I never mention to Benj about those evidences that I kept. Call me a liar, but I am just afraid to lose him.

But even how good at lying you are, the universe will make a way to revealed the truth that you kept for so long.

"Aren't you going to tell me everything? " he asked while sobbing.

I tell to him everything that I kept for so long. I know that Benj will going to hate me, and I expected that. But I didn't imagine that it could be hurt me like this, but I know he's the one whose hurting the most here. I know how Benj longs for a Justice, but I keep to be silent.

I also wanted to show that no matter how he tried to avoid me, I will stay. But it really hurt me to realized that I am only one who still wanted to save 'us'.

"S-so...it's a goodbye now?" I asked. And for the first time in my life, I let my self to hope. To hope that he will going to say no, but I failed in that one hope.

"Until we met again." I uttered before I step forward for my 6th step.

"Ma'am your order please?" I said while smiling at her.

It was 8 years ago since I left in Manila and decided to bought a small house and lot here in Caramoan. I used my savings account to start a new life here in a province. I also build a small restaurant here, since the place has a lot of tourist attraction. And because of God mercy, my business got successful.

"Goodbye Ma'am." my employees bid a goodbye now.

I decided to closed my restaurant early since I needed to celebrate something.

"Zeddy Gil, where are you?" I smiled when I saw that my husband and my son are playing a hide and seek again.

"Dad! Come here! I'm here." I saw Zeddy waving his hands.

"Your dad is a blind, Zeddy. So stop playing a hide and seek because you are the one who will won the game." but the two only laughed because of what I've said.

"Happy Birthday, Benj!"
"Happy birthday, daddy!"

"Daddy, wish, what is your wish daddy?" my son vigorously asked to his father.

"I have no wishes in life, hecause I am satisfied in a life that we have."

I didn't imagine that me and Benj will still end up together. I thought that day, the word 'us' will going to lose.

"Ouch! Ouch! Gilj...help me!" I heard Benj voice.

I was terrified because I don't know what to do. At first, I thought he's just joking and trying to make a way to make me stay.

"Sorry, but in Mr. Haldane case, only few people get back their eye sight. " the ophthalmic said.

"Does the patient is really stress this past days?" I gave him a nod as a response.

"He's almost doesn't have a proper sleep for two weeks now." I answered.

"Too much stress can cause blindness. And that is the reason why his eyesight got lost." the ophthalmologist said.

"Did you know that your last dare is my favorite at all?" I heard Benj said in my back while his hands are encircling my waist.

"Because when I tried to love my fate, I became more happy and contented. That even I am blind now, I can still able to laugh, to eat, and to inspire people.

My fate makes me realize that you have to let go your past first, before you became completely happy. My life was tragic and I don't need to forget those. I just need to let my self free from keep staying there. Past is past, and the now can't do anything to change those. But you can change your life in a present, to build a better future." My husband said.

Remember the day I gave my 10th dare? And the day I said, until we meet again?

Because that day,

Benj literarily didn't see me anymore.

~END

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