a/n: SORRY THIS ONE'S SORTA SAD LOL- also, i wanted to attach a cute jake photo but i chose this one instead cause he's mad fine 😭

tw: loss

- linden

The 24/7 gas station shopkeeper watches their regular shopper carefully. It's early in the morning and the sun has just begun to rise, sending a soft glow in through the front window. The regular customer comes in once a month and heads for one specific section of the shop. They wind through the tiled shop, ignore all other shelves and make a beeline for the tea. They pretend to browse, but each and every time they purchase the same flavor. Each and every time the shopkeeper offers them other flavors, or little trinkets or gum. Each and every time the customer shakes their head, smiles a little, and takes home their peach tea.

———

The chalky smell of baking bread and dough lingered in the afternoon sunlight. The warmth of it streaked the ground in bright honey and tangerine toned strokes on the pale tile. Jake smeared a palm across your cheek, leaving a powdery handprint of flour. You gasped and set down your mugs in mock-anger. The peach tea sloshed around and wafted into the summer air with great waves of sweet steam.

"Hey!" You complained. He giggled and pressed a handprint to your other cheek. You whined while reaching out to grab him. To your dismay, he jumped out of your reach and into a block of sunlight that set him aglow like a candle. "Come back here!" You scrubbed at your cheeks with your hands and hopped into a run. Jake immediately took off, letting out little screeches as he circled around the house with you hot on his heels.

Meanwhile, the garage door slammed shut and paper grocery bags rustled as your mom called, "I'm home!!"

You shrieked and ran into Jake's back, stumbling back with your arms out for balance only to fall onto your bottom. You cried out and frowned. Jake was no help, of course. He only giggled and stared at you as your mom rustled her bags, peeking around the corner to check on you. You stuck out your tongue at him and he grinned proudly, running off towards the kitchen. You both knew your mom wouldn't say anything about the mess. Being twelve as you both already were, she expected that you would clean up after yourselves.

For that reason, Jake was ultimately triumphant at making you fall and leaving those flour handprints on your flushed cheeks. In comparison, you were pretending to be grouchy, even if the entire situation was amusing to an extent.

You both immediately started to chatter with your mom about what you'd done while she was gone. The fun feeling of the sleepover was thick in the air as the sun set and the bread you'd baked was coming out of the oven. By that time, your peach tea had gone forgotten, left in a little corner so your mom had space to lay out her greens for drying on the island. As you settled into bed that night, warm backs pressed against each other, it had long since gone cold.

———

"Truth or Dare?"

You were sixteen, sitting in a circle of friends that weren't yours on the rough carpet of a basement that you had never been in before. It was after homecoming and you were all in your little sparkly dresses and suit jackets. Jake, as always, was sitting by you. Although most childhood friends grew apart as years passed, you and him were attached at the hip- so much so that people often worried you were fighting if you weren't together. It also led to people thinking you were together together, something you both always denied.

"Uhmmm..." You stared at the pretty brunette sitting across from you. She was smiling at you with glossy pink lips, the upper planes of her face glowing with the soft light from the ceiling. You smiled back. "Dare? Maybe?"

The girl- her name might have been Caroline -grinned and clapped her hands. You raised your eyebrows, slightly anxious about what she had prepared for you. You just worried that if you'd said truth and she'd asked you something stupid about your crush you would have to lie about Jake. You were a terrible liar.

"Okayy." Caroline- no, Carrie -said. "I dare you to...kiss..."

"Kiss?" You gasped.

She only nodded. "Mhm, kiss the last person you called in the room."

You gaped unapologetically at Carrie. They all had to know- you didn't have any of their numbers. Hell, you barely knew them all, you couldn't even remember their names. So that left one person, the person you came here with, and the one person's phone number you had.

Jake.

You slowly turned towards your friend who was smiling shyly at you from your right. He leaned towards your ear to whisper and you flinched, clutching his arm.

"If you don't want to..." His breath was hot against your skin. You felt a prickly rush slither through all your bones. A strangely pleasurable but equally anxious rush.

"N-no..." You made eye contact with Carrie across the room. She smiled at you encouragingly. You took a deep calming breath as Jake pulled back from your ear. He was barely three inches away before you grabbed him hastily by the collar and slammed your lips together. You had no idea what you were doing, but your mouths were forced open by the rough messiness of the kiss and your breath swirled with his. The kiss fully lasted less than two seconds before you both pulled away, but those two seconds felt like an eternity. His lips were hot and soft and his fingers were still digging into your thigh. Your skin burned as you recalled the feeling of his tongue mistakenly gliding against yours. Jake's cheeks were intensely red and he was smiling very slightly. You stared at his lips, your eyes widening. With a gasp, you clamped a hand against your mouth and turned your gaze towards the ground.

There was a gaggle of laughter and chatter all around you. "I didn't think you would do it!" Carrie giggled. You flushed, your fingers shaking slightly. You didn't think you would either- what had come over you?

"It was cute, though." Another girl- Aurora -added.

"For sure." A boy- Sunghoon -laughed loudly.

"Uh- uh." You looked up warily and chose a person across the room at random. "You! Truth or Dare?"

———

Later that same homecoming night, you and Jake sat in silence in the driveway of your house. You hung your hands over the steering wheel, staring at your house towering over you both in the darkness. You could see the moon out of the right window, smiling down at both of you. You finally cleared your throat. "Look, about earlier, I'm so-"

"Don't be sorry." Jake's eyes widened. They were big and round and glowing in the moonlight when he looked at you. He lowered his gaze, lashes sweeping down over his puppy eyes. "I liked it...I want it to happen again."

You let the phrase hang in the air much as how the moon and stars hung up in the sky.

You smiled at him through the darkness. "Tea?"

Jake smiled back.

So you both went inside. You made peach tea. You flushed at the hot feeling of his hand on your knee. Your heart fluttered  at the brush of his lips against the corner of your mouth. You both whispered in the darkness, and by the time you remembered to drink your tea it had gone cold. He kissed you. The tea mugs waited on the countertop. You preferred it cold anyway.

———

Jake sits on the ground in his drafty, empty kitchen, stirring his tea. He doesn't have any reason to do so. No sugar or honey to mix in. Just sweetly scented tea. His sole reason for the action is to listen to the click clack of the spoon hitting the sides of the sage green mug. Click, clack, clack, click. Click, clack, clack, click. The tiles on the floor are black and white like an old timey diner. A strange choice for a house, and a choice his parents made before he was born. The only light sources being the moon outside the patio door he leans against and the tv muted in the other room- it appears to Jake that the black tiles are boring pupils waiting to swallow him whole. A sea of eyes observing his misery.

Jake brings the mug to his lips and sips, wrinkling his nose and furrowing his eyebrows at the splash of heat on his tongue. He relaxes his face. His peach tea is hot. Piping hot. This is among the very, very, few times Jake has ever drank tea so hot. He prefers it cool, the same way you and him would drink it after long conversations together. Jake sets down the mug with a soft sound and continues stirring it, hunching over to blow at the steam rising in barely visible curls off the top.

Clack, clack, clack, click, clack, click, clack, clack.

Jake removes his spoon and tries again. He drinks slowly. It's cooled now. He lets out a content sigh, leaning his head back against the cold patio door.

The feeling he has while drinking the peach tea is nothing close to what he used to feel. He imagines late nights, summer mornings, warm sunsets, and everything in between. He imagines kisses in the dark, kisses in his car and whispers and hot hands on soft skin. He imagines dumb jokes and stolen glances and watching the way you traced the rim of your mugs with a finger.

Each sip and each stir of his breath against the surface of the tea carries a fond memory of you. Jake wishes you back. He wishes you would be there to make the tea in your special way. He finishes his peach tea. You're not back.

———

a/n: i VERY rarely add notes at the end- but i was kind of curious what you guys think is going on at the end and why you're "gone."
i mean, loss is implied, but what kind of loss popped up in your head? cause it could be many things (of which i will not name since i wanna hear what you all have to say). so yeah.
- also thank you so much for bearing with me and my SUPER SLOW updates! :)
- - love you all byeee 💗💗