note: "kids are still depressed when you dress them up"

a/n: seem familiar? i thought it would be fun to write a version of this chapter in a poem-ish format, so here we are. ofc it's not great i don't write poems often (by that i mean never) soooo, yeah

tw: vampire-ish-ness; blood; angst; suicide; self harm;

word count: 1366

- linden

You woke up to deep darkness filled with an air of solitude.
You were gasping, your sheets thrown down and screwed,
Your legs were tangled, your body and soul strangled,
Small icicles of tears burst forth from you
To yield your useless fears to the dark and the quiet and the utter silence.

Your breaths were heavy and disturbing, your eyes wide like you beheld violence.
There was copper in the air,
Scars on your thighs like fifteen flares.

You turned at the feeling of a familiar presence.
You were blind to your surroundings.
But there in the silence
Amid the shadows and the shroudings,
A chilly touch met your skin.

He ran his cold hands up and down your arms,
His fingertips frosty like they'd been covered in ice,
But rather it was you who was frozen in time.
You curled up in your big bed in your grand bedroom
Within your house that beheld nice things
that you would never want
For this house would forever
Be filled with fools.

"Don't bleed. Don't look." Easy for the immortal vampire to say.

He would never understand why you inflicted this physical pain.
With a shiver you wrapped your arms around him and felt his fingers brush and stain with your blood.
He brought his hand away, a red glistening touch.
His fingers to his lips but you reached for his grip.
Warned away his desires as if you didn't have your own fighting while you tried not to slip.

"Sorry." Sunghoon shook his head. "Thank you for remembering to not let me."
His skin was pale in an eternally glowing kind of way,
His eyes the deep kind of dark that could swallow you up and you could get lost in and never
again be.
He touched your face with delicate fingers and hugged you closely.
Why you hurt yourself he wouldn't ever understand nor why you go astray.
'It takes my mind off the world' in your head ravaged by thoughts
For, to you, revenge on the self was the only unbreakable fire forged clay.

"Sleep well." He whispered.

"Live eternally." You said.

"Not without you."
But you were already growing your wings to fly
Through nightmares until another day.

When in the morning again,
You were tangled in sheets
As if your little vampire friend
Had never held you like every other night and every other week.

Blood lay stained on the edge of your shorts
From where your leg'd burned a fire of pain
In a miniature scope.

You readied and off for your breakfast.
Another day beheld another political party and another steadfast order from your father,
You were required each and every time,
To be present and courteous.

Taking a seat at the long, empty table, you ate your food.
Unfortunately, it only brought a broken sense of home
In the deepest parts of your soul.
You took your time, wished for past but weren't granted your only ask.
As you did, you felt arms around your shoulders while you brushed the bread crumbs from your fingers.
You were met by Sunghoon's perfect face,
His tiny smile and beauty marks.

He opened his mouth, and like every other conversation you had with him
His heart burst forth
And then yours,
For he was the type one can spill their deepest secrets to
And he would remain caring and indifferent,
Waiting for more.

The party came up,
Your smiles went down,
And people would say you were ungrateful for your wealth for you could hide what you thought but never your frowns.

"People are bad many times." He said. "People do things and then they don't regret those things. Instead, we regret going there or doing that certain act that day or making that certain decision."

"I hate that."

Sunghoon looked up at you and searched your eyes. His lips twitched. "Me too."

Sunghoon looked as if he were made of porcelain but there he stood,
Next to you.
He was up now, hugging you, holding you,
Pressing a kiss to you,
You relished his touch
And you sought for
His strange vampire cold-ish warmth

You opened your eyes,
And the other chair was back where it had been
As if Sunghoon had never had a place
In the empty dining hall cradling your sleepless face.

You retreated to your room
To find a message chiming on your phone,
Gleaming, glaring words from your father
To dress nicely for the social suicide

At the party
You did your best to stay out of the way and not to appear unhappy.
You were offered sparkling and swirling cups of alcohol
And hands to dance with and pretentious elites who were nothing but feisty.

Repulsive strangers with strange glassy gazes followed you
You had acquired a skill
In avoidance
Yet you were bumped into
An languid oily boy with a sickening smile
Calling you pretty and courting a while.
You smack him away
But it's only his game to play,
"Okay, okay, Temper. Most people would like the touch of a pretty boy."

You stabbed yourself with your nails
As your mind let out unheard wails.
"wouldn't call you pretty, exactly."

The boy touched your chin,
Drew your face in,
So it was was turned toward his. "Who would be pretty then?"

"Me, obviously."

There was Sunghoon by your side,
Hand at your waist and wearing a small pink smile.
He leaned down and met your eyes, "Tell him you have a boyfriend."
You formed a mocking smile.
"My boyfriend. I would call my boyfriend pretty."

Sunghoon's warm-cold touch vanished from your waist,
Leaving you in the elite filled city
With the starry champagne
And the strange people who would not let you be.

You left the boy standing ramrod straight
There beside a stand of drinks,
His face pale like he'd seen the most haunting of figures and felt it's chill on his fingers.
Any other guests were unaware.

You wound through the people
All sick tired rich little people,
Located a door to escape from the world.
You entered the balcony, found the late summer air sweetly
And welcoming
With its autumn bringing tell-tale chill

You approached the edge
Leaned onto it,
Sunghoon already standing neatly like a puzzle's perfect fit.

You spoke,
And you joked,
In a rather miserable way.
You were both trapped in your habits
Bearing no escape.
So you laughed
And you smiled
The smiles you'd carved into your face.
And you told him to bite you
And he closed the space.

You breathed the sweet summer air
And you allowed your little vampire friend
To bring you pain
And to take your blood,
Take it and drain.

Sunghoon backed away from you with his lips glistening red.
His eyes had turned back to their usual darkness. He looked all of a sudden dazed and surprised.
His eyes wearing a silent bright crying.

Apologies,
From the sweet, sweet boy
With your blood on his lips,
While you played him like a comfort toy.
You were bent over the edge of the balcony,
One arm dangled,
The other holding the edge not very tightly.

"What are you doing?"

You smiled.
"I love you, Hoon. I really do. But we both know you're only a figment of my imagination."

And yet, he felt so real.

Sunghoon was distressed,
You found it cliche,
To have him with you,
And to feel these ways.
The kisses he left and the small sweet hugs,
The pain that disappeared and it's reappearance when he was gone.
He was your coping mechanism, your silent song.

If all went right,
You smiled.
You made eye contact with Sunghoon for what would be the last time,
If all went right.
"I love you most." You said.

You tilted your body over the edge,
And you were ready to fall and fall and fall.
Sunghoon reached and he held
But his delicate hands passed through your waist
And it left with him a sinking feeling, a bitter taste.

He watched you.
And you fell and fell and fell.
When you finally hit the ground,
He took a deep breath,
And vanished from all hells.

———

this was really bad but i hope u guys liked it??
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