"billie." i hear a deep voice, and someone shaking me. i open my eyes, but quickly close them because the sun is blazing in my face.

"billie, wake up girl." i hear the voice again. i prepare myself for the sun, and open my eyes once more looking beside me to see jahseh. my eyes widen at him, before the events of earlier this morning flood in my mind and i sigh in relief.

"yeah?" i rasp, looking at him. "we're at our first stop, come on, let's walk for a bit." i look at him in confusion, sitting up. "what do you mean, first stop?"

he scoffs, rolling his eyes with a smile. "we're not gonna get to arizona over night. the train has to make stops. we're at our first stop, and the train is gonna start moving again in about an hour. so let's get out for a bit, stretch our legs."

i look at my duffle bag. "is it safe to leave that here?"

"of course." he says. "but what if we don't make it back in time and the train leaves-"

"we won't. chill." he says, grabbing my hand and and leading me towards the entrance of the car. he lets go of my hand, jumping down and landing feet first onto the ground. "come on." he says, and i jump down as well, landing on my feet. i groan at the feeling of pain that shoots through my legs, as i've always had weak ankles.

"you okay?" he raises an eyebrow, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "yeah, i'm fine." i nod. jahseh turns around and begins to walk, and i scramble to catch up to him and walk beside him, stuffing my hands into my pockets as well, and pulling my hoodie over my head, even though it's a bit hot outside.

"where are we even gonna go?" i ask. jahseh shrugs. "i don't know, this is my first time in california. we'll go to a convenience store or something. stock up."

"you have money?" i question, and he looks at me, a big smirk on his face. "who needs money when you can just take?"

my eyes widen at his statement. "we can't, if we get caught-"

"relax, we won't get caught. you worry too much, i'm surprised you succeeded in running away." he rolls his eyes. i quickly shut my mouth in embarrassment, just walking beside him in silence.

eventually we reach a convenience store, and as we walk up to the entrance, jahseh looks at me. "just be chill, don't touch anything. just follow behind me, and we'll be okay. here's some money," he hands me a ten dollar bill. "when i get done taking whatever we need, you're gonna buy something, so they don't suspect us. it's better you do it, they'll never suspect a little white girl of stealing anything." he says. "now come on."

jahseh and i step into the convenience store, and i try my best not to let my face be known to the cashier. i follow behind jahseh as he instructed me to, as i watch him smoothly slide things into his sleeves and hoodie pockets, things like food and candy. he then begins to stuff little individual candies and foods into his cargo pants pockets, all without a sound, all without stall, as he moves fluidly throughout the aisles and picks out things he wants.

"grab something so you can buy it." he says lowly to me. i grab a big container of apple juice, holding it up in my arms and marching to the front, placing it down in front of the cashier.

"hi, how are you?" he asks as he scans the apple juice and rings me up. "fine." i say, in almost a whisper, trying to avoid his eyes.

"that'll be $3.61." the cashier says. i hand him the ten dollar bill and he gives me my change, bagging up the apple juice and handing it to me.

"you kids stay out of trouble." he says with a smile. i nod and smile back. "we'll try." i respond, walking out of the store with jahseh in tow. after we get a few steps away from the store, i breathe out a huge sigh of relief. "i can't believe we just did that." i say.

"we made it out of there without getting caught, didn't we?" he smiles, slinging an arm around my neck. my face reddens at the gesture, as he grabs the the bag from my hand and holding it himself. "i'm proud of you. you know, for not being a nervous wreck and getting us caught."

"thanks." i laugh shyly.

"now, to get you some clothes."

i choke on my spit, shooting him a look. "clothes?! jahseh, we can't steal clothes-"

"yes we can. we're going back to the train to put all this food in your duffle bag, then we'll set back out and go to a clothing store, and get us some clothes."

"jahseh-"

"i'll explain it on the way."

[̲̅*][̲̅*][̲̅*][̲̅*][̲̅*]

"alright, now here's what we're gonna do." jahseh says as we walk up to the old navy. "you're going to use your charm to score us some free clothes."

"charm?" i raise an eyebrow. "jahseh, we can't steal from an old navy, of all places-"

"shut up and listen." he cuts me off. i close my mouth and continue walking by his side to the entrance. "you're a pretty girl, blond hair, blue eyes, dimples, you have all the charm in the fucking world." jahseh says, and my face heats up at his compliments. "just use your mouth piece, work your magic, you can do it."

"work my magic? dude-"

"i'm sure you'll figure something out. now come on."

jahseh and i enter the store, and i try to avoid making eye contact with anyone.

"i already have clothes, in my duffle bag." i remind jahseh with a whisper. "but you're gonna need more, right? besides, i need another hoodie or two." he says. i roll my eyes and go into the guys section with him, picking up a couple hoodies and big shirts. jahseh notices this and tilts his head. "girl clothes aren't really for me." i say, and he nods, doing some browsing of his own. i go on to grab some sweatpants, socks, shorts, and a few pairs of underwear, as jahseh has maybe five hoodies in his arms, and a pair of sweatpants.

"you ready?" jahseh asks. i shake my head, as my heart begins to pick up and i visibly panic, but jahseh stops me in my tracks, bringing his lips to my ear. "just calm down, you'll do fine." his raspy voice sends chills down my spine, but my eyes widen as he places his hands on my waist. "just work your magic." he says into my ear, and pulls away, looking me in my eyes. "yeah?"

"yeah." i nod, clearing my throat and attempting to regain my composure. i grab the clothes from jahseh's hand and go up to the register with all of them.

the guy scans all of the clothes, and he looks to be maybe 16, this is probably a new job for him.

"that'll be $261.37." he says, staring at me.

damn, old navy's is fuckin' tripping on these prices.

"damn, i don't think i have enough money." i say, beginning my act. i search through my pockets, looking at the cashier with a worried expression. "do you think you could put it on my tab? and i can come back and pay?" the guy scoffs. "what kind of store do you think this is?"

"please?" i ask, making eye contact with the boy. his eyes widen slightly as they make contact with my bright blue ones. "listen, i can't just let you walk out of here with the clothes-"

i lean over the register on my tippy toes, bringing my lips to the guy's ear.

"or, you can let me walk out with them, and you and i can have a little fun later, as thanks." i whisper in a sultry tone into his ear. i sense him stiffening up at my statement, and he clears his throat. "fun?" he whispers back.

"i'll give you my number, and you and i can meet up later." i say, tracing his collarbone lightly with my finger. "i just really need these clothes, i'd be so grateful." i whisper again in his ear, moaning slightly to sweeten up the pot. the guy clears his throat again, and i can look down to see him getting hard, fucking pig.

"o-okay." he stutters, grabbing a pen from the messy counter, handing it to me. i write a fake number on his arm, but am sure to include the california area code. when i finish, i hand the pen back to him, and he punches in a few buttons on the computer, clearing all the clothing items as paid, and bagging them up, handing them to me.

"i'll see you around." i say, getting on my tippy toes to kiss the guy on the cheek, then turn to walk out the door with the bags in my hands, and jahseh in tow.

as soon as i make it out of the store i cheer in exasperation. "we did it!"

"no, you did it." jahseh smiles, slinging an arm around my shoulder once more. "i'm proud of you, jit, you did good."

"jit?" i question his wording, and he rolls his eyes. "i forget you're from here. that's how we talk back in florida. it's just a nickname, basically." he clarifies, and i nod my head. "let me get those for you." jahseh says, grabbing the bags from me. "good job, billie, you used your charms, just like i told you to. i didn't think you would take it that far, but honestly, i'm glad you did, 'cause i don't think we would have been able to score these clothes if you hadn't." he says, gesturing to the bags in his hands.

"that was so gross. he actually got hard like- ew." i shudder in disgust. "look at you, turning niggas on and shit." he bumps my shoulder with a smile, and i roll my eyes playfully. "it's all in a day's work." i joke, and he busts out laughing, and i notice he has dimples as well, but they're barely there. "you know what o'connell? i fucks with you." he says. i pull my phone out of my pocket, checking the time. "isn't it almost time for the train to take off again?" i ask.

"shit, you're right." jahseh says. "we should get back."

jahseh and i walk quickly and with a purpose, trying our best to get back to the train on time.

once we reach the train, we throw the bags into the car, and jahseh helps me up into the car before coming in after me.

"damn, we did good." jahseh sighs contently, digging around in my duffle bag and pulling out a fruit roll up. "that was exhilarating." i say with a smile, and an excited sigh. "stealing and shit."

"i don't want to turn you into an addict or anything, but we have to do what we have to do." jahseh says. sliding me my duffle bag. "and this is our only stop today, tomorrow we have two stops." he informs me.

"wait, so where do we go to shower and stuff?" i ask in a confused tone.

"we go to a pool." he shrugs. "they have showers in their locker rooms."

"but don't you have to pay admission to get into a pool-"

"not every pool is like that." he says, opening another fruit roll up. he nods to my duffle bag. "you got soap and shit in there?"

i nod my head.

"then we'll be okay."

[̲̅*][̲̅*][̲̅*][̲̅*][̲̅*]

"and that's why i slapped her crazy ass, she was really doing the most." jahseh concludes his story, and i'm too busy in my fit of laughter to even respond to him.

"you were so wrong for that." i say in between laughs, wiping the tears from my eyes. "she got what she deserved." jahseh shrugs. i check the time in my phone, seeing as it's almost midnight. we didn't get very much sleep, as i hopped onto the train at three in the morning, and jahseh had woke me up today at around nine in the morning.

"we should get some sleep." i say, looking over at him. he nods, "that's probably smart."

i look at the bags of clothes that we stole from old navy, knowing that i have hoodies and joggers in there to sleep in. i remember that i'm still in these jeans, and they're very uncomfortable to sleep in.

"jahseh?" i ask, fiddling with my fingers. "hm?"

"could you, um, turn around or something, so that i could change?" i ask nervously. he smirks, nodding his head. "aight." he responds, turning himself around and facing the opposite direction.

i get up and walk over to the bags, digging around in them and pulling out a t-shirt and joggers. i strip myself of my jeans and hoodie, watching jahseh the whole time to make sure that he doesn't turn around.

i pull the t-shirt over my head, and put the shorts on one leg at a time, brushing myself off. the shorts aren't too short, they touch a bit past my knees. short shorts aren't really for me.

"i'm done." i say quietly, sitting back down.

jahseh turns around, smiling at me as he analyzes my new appearance. "well look at you." he says quietly.

i avert my eyes from him, looking out at the scenery. i get up and close both car doors, blocking out all the sounds of the night and muffling the sounds of the roaring train.

jahseh lays down on his side, watching me as i walk around the car.

i set my phone down in front of my duffle bag, and reach inside the bag to grab a bag of takis.

"come lay beside me, o'connell." jahseh's raspy voice snaps me out of my thoughts, and i slowly turn around to face him. "huh?" i ask, thinking i hadn't heard him correctly.

"come lay beside me, i said." he repeats himself. i stand still, lost in my thoughts, then remember what he asked of me. i walk over to jahseh and sit down, then lay on my side beside him, with my back facing him. i open my bag of takis and put two into my mouth, peacefully enjoying the taste and texture of the chips, but my peace and sanctuary is disturbed when i feel jahseh's arm wrap around my waist, pulling me closer to him, to the point where my back is well enough against his front.

"jahseh-"

"shut up, it's fucking cold." he mumbles, "i need body heat."

i screw my eyes shut at the feeling of jahseh's body making contact with mine, as this is the first time i've ever really been this close to a boy.

"you're thinking too much, stop it." he says quietly, slightly annoyed. "i can practically hear you thinking and it's fucking up my vibe."

"s-sorry." i apologize.

"stop apologizing, and stop stuttering." he says. "eat your chips and go to sleep."

-

written on thursday, december 3rd, 2020

published on saturday, january 23rd, 2021

-

here we are with yet another update! crossroads is officially released and will be updated every saturday.

tell me what you guys want to see! i'm open to any ideas and am so excited to create this story and reality with you all!

until next saturday!

-symone