friday, august 26th, 2016

home sweet fucking georgia.

out of all the states we've passed by, georgia is the most southern one by far. everyone here has an accent and jahseh's gotten me to try some of their food, it's amazing. i'm glad they could cater to my vegan grass ass needs.

we've already gotten a hotel stay and unpacked, i've successfully made it across the fucking country with no problem.

"billie, you're zoning out again." jahseh waves his hand in front of my face. he offers me a pork rib, "come on, you gotta try this."

"i'm not eating any animals, dude." i laugh, "it does smell good though."

"tastes good too." he says, taking a large bite out of it and playfully groaning at the taste of the food. i roll my eyes at him and look down at my own takeout plate, stir fried rice and beans.

i had to get extra beans.

"i bet." i mumble, shoving a spoonful of rice into my mouth.

it's been almost three weeks since jahseh and i met.

it's mind baffling because it seems like it's been longer. hopping trains together, it's been an amazing experience and getting to know someone from scratch, it's more than i can imagine.

jahseh is the most fascinating person i've ever met, we've had the chance to explore each other from the surface, to deep, intimate ways. i know him like the back of my hand and i know that he knows me the same.

when we got here, jahseh told me that we would try to both get jobs so it didn't just seem like we were two teens sitting in a hotel all day. someone might get suspicious.

in these three weeks, i haven't heard a word from my parents, nor did they make any obvious attempts to look for me. i knew me running away wasn't a mistake, and my absence hasn't even made them move nor concerned.

i just hope that one day that bitch finneas gets the hell that he deserves.

"baby." jahseh says, "you're spacing out again."

"sorry, i'm just thinking." i mumble. "what were you saying?"

"i said i'm finna head to the store and do some more exploring. i might be gone for a bit."

"i won't wait up, 'cause i'm sleepy as hell." i tell him, setting my takeout box on the nightstand beside me and getting under the covers. "you better not be gone 'til morning."

"i'll only be gone for a few hours, relax." he laughs, wiping the barbecue sauce off of his fingers with a napkin. "be safe." i say. he leans down and gives me a kiss on the forehead, then one on the lips. i can taste the barbecue sauce on his lips and i giggle at the sweetness of it. "go." i say, giving him one more kiss.

"i'll be back in a bit. i love you."

"i love you too, baby, be safe." i wrap my arms around him and squeeze him tightly, just feeling extra clingy today. he kisses me once more and pulls away, pulling on his shoes and his jacket.

"call me if you need anything." he says, grabbing his wallet.

"will do."

[̲̅*][̲̅*][̲̅*][̲̅*][̲̅*]

i slide into the hotel room quietly, closing the door behind me carefully so that it doesn't make noise.

billie is on the bed with the light off, sleeping peacefully. the tv is on lowly in the background. i sigh and walk over to billie, kissing her forehead, each of her cheeks, and lastly, her beautiful lips, taking in her beauty.

"i love you." i mumble, taking the peace of paper out of my pocket and setting it on the nightstand, next to her takeout box that she was eating out of earlier.

i grab my backpack and head into the bathroom, putting my toothbrush and soaps in there. i zip it up and sling it around my shoulders, looking around to make sure i'm not leaving anything.

i look over at billie, laying on the bed in a deep sleep, not aware that i've even come back. i get second thoughts but i shake them out of my head.

"i love you, billie."

i pull the hotel door open, walk out of the room and let the door close quietly behind me.

-

written and published on monday, april 12th, 2021

-

PLEASE I KNOW YALL ARE CONFUSED

this is how the book ends, with jahseh leaving billie like he said he would. he did what he said what he was going to do.

there is an epilogue after this chapter, then the book will be done.

twenty something chapters ??? this is my shortest book ever !

this is NOT the end of me! i have another book that will be coming out soon, keep your eyes peeled!

i love you all and thank you so much for reading! stay tuned for the epilogue!

-symone