"In the end, we only regret the chances we didn't take, relationships we were afraid to have, and the decisions we waited too long to make." - Anonymous

Dedicated to hrb264 because she's been an avid reader of this book from the start! Thanks for your support!

~ It's 2:30am right now. You guys better love me for this.  

~ Yasmine's dress ^

Chapter 24 - Red Hot Fury.  

Zach’s POV. 

My breath hitched in the back of my throat and I could feel my eyes almost pop out of their sockets. I was gripping the door so tightly, I wouldn’t be surprised if some of the wood chipped off. I was sweating profusely. My mind had gone into overdrive and all I could do was stare at the girl in front of me.  

She had difficulty breathing herself, looking as if she had just run a marathon. She was the last person I expected to see when I swung the door open. I was shocked, confused and secretly happy, all at the same time. I was about to ask her what she was doing here before she spoke up and beat me to it.

Her breath came out in slight gasps and her voice was shaky, but I didn’t miss the three words she had uttered. 

I love you. 

Her words hit me hard, piercing my soul. If my heart was beating erratically before, now, I thought I would die as it hammered forcefully against my chest. I was so happy, my body didn’t know how to physically show it. I stayed rooted to my spot, just staring into her chocolate brown eyes. 

She had expressed the words I had wanted to hear from her, for the last seven months.  

Did she even know how elated I was right now?  

Shouldn’t I reply?

Say it back you idiot, this is your chance! 

I open and closed my mouth, suddenly nervous. A frown now marred Yasmine’s face. I opened my mouth again to speak but nothing came out. I couldn’t bring myself to say anything, let alone, reciprocate the words. 

Before I knew it, my mother had walked up and stood next to me by the door.  

“Yasmine! Is that you?! Come in, come in! Of course my silly son would leave you standing outside at night!” Mum grabbed Yasmine and squeezed her in a hug. Dazed and slightly confused, Yasmine hugged her back, but her eyes were focused on me and I could see her face begin to fall.

I gulped and widened my eyes when I realised that Yasmine had just told me she loved me. And I still hadn’t said anything.

My mother forcefully pushed her into the house and Yasmine stumbled behind her. I turned around to watch her and found her already looking at me, her head turned backwards in despair.  

No, no, no, no. I did not just cause that look.

A few seconds later and crystal tears that shined against the light, formed in her eyes. 

Shit!

We were both at opposite ends of the room, gazing at each other. We stayed like that for a few minutes. There was white noise in the background, my mother talking, the T.V., something, I couldn’t tell. I urged my feet to move forward, towards her, to ease the heartbroken look in her face, yet nothing happened.  

I faintly realised Jacob walk into the living room. He must’ve inspected the current situation and come to the conclusion that something was up, because he somehow forced mum out of the room. And then we were left with deafening silence. 

“Yasmine -,” I whispered. 

“No - I’m sorry. I should of not said that. I don’t know what I was thinking. Gosh, I’m such an idiot. Just forget it OK?” She wiped away her now, fallen tears, and ran towards the door. She rushed past me and finally my nerves began working again, as I managed to grasp her arm just before she was out of reach. 

“No! Wait, you don’t -,“ but before I could finish my sentence she had pulled her arm out of my firm grip and run off. I yelled out after her, but she ignored me and soon enough, her figure had disappeared. I blinked into the darkness as realisation dawned on me. 

What have I done? 

**** 

I paced furiously, running my hands through my hair for the thousandth  time. I had bottled up the anger and frustration towards myself for three days now. I needed release.

“ARGH!”

Without thinking, I punched the brick wall next to me and immediately sucked in a breath as the pain began to work its way up my arm. Blood oozed out from my knuckles but I couldn’t care less.

You missed the opportunity! My brain was taunting me.  

She might never forgive you now! I could feel a headache coming on and I squinted my eyes shut. 

She said she loved you!

I swivelled around and punched the wall again, this time, I heard a crack, before burning hot pain scorched my hand.  

“Zach!”  

I looked up to see Laith walking towards me, outrage and worry flashing in his eyes. 

“Are you crazy! I think you just broke your hand! I heard that crack from a metre away!” He grabbed my hand to inspect it and I couldn’t help but groan in pain. I had broken a bone before so it was nothing new, but I sure as hell didn’t miss the agony that came with it.  

I was breathing hard now and I didn’t bother responding to Laith.  

“Come on, I’ll take you to the doctor. That needs to be x-rayed.” He peered over me, worry still evident in his eyes. When I didn’t move, he exhaled loudly and rubbed his face.

“Zach, bro. What happened?”  

“I’m such a bastard,” I muttered. Laith scowled disapprovingly at my choice of words.  

“Do you…want to talk?” 

“No.” He sighed again and then grabbed my arm, dragging me to his car.

Somehow, I was now seated in front of the doctor. I had done my scan and he was skimming his eyes over a black sheet - my x-ray.  

“Broken bone for sure,” he stated. He quirked his eyebrows at my lack of response, before moving off to get what looked like white bandage. He wrapped my hand gently, ensuring he didn’t cause me any unnecessary pain, for which I was grateful. He told me not to move it too much, not to get the case wet and everything a normal person should follow.

I thanked him and walked out to discover Laith was still waiting for me. 

“It’s broken isn’t it?” he asked, eyeing my bandaged hand.

 “Yep.” I walked outside, into the blaring sun but didn’t stop at Laith’s car.

“Where are you going?!” Laith yelled. “My cars this way!” 

“I’m going to walk it,” I yelled over my shoulder. “Thanks anyway.” 

Within ten minutes I had arrived at my desired destination - the beach. I walked down the edges, past all the umbrellas and mini stalls and found a secluded area where not many people were milling around. I made myself comfortable on the warm sand, pulling my knees up to my chest and resting my arms on them. It was almost maghreb time, the sun just beginning to lower, it’s bright flame reflecting off the blue water.  

I exhaled a few times and relaxed my tense nerves. I thought I had gotten my temper under control but when it came to Yasmine - she managed to revive emotions in me, no one else could come close to. I was a lost cause. I hadn’t sent Yasmine any messages nor tried to call her. I didn’t know what to say. She had been able to do, what I had been tossing and turning over about for months. She had put herself out there, made her feelings known. 

And I humiliated her. 

I could feel my anger flaring up again - anger at myself. This, this is why I tried to stay away from her as soon as I apprehended my feelings. I knew it would only end badly.  

I sighed and decided to take one last stroll along the water to calm myself, before heading back home so I could pray. I absorbed the scenery before me, managing to smile at two kids who were building a sand castle and squealing in excitement. One of them, a cute little girl who was wearing a frilly pink swimsuit, got up and ran towards the water. She had a little bucket with her and was trying to fill it up, when she suddenly lost balance and fell headfirst into the water.

The child, looking to be about Adam’s age, obviously couldn’t swim and the small waves began to drag her in further. My legs began running on their own accord as the girl screamed out and then her head completely disappeared below the water. I heard some shouting and shrieks behind me, motivating me to pump my legs faster. 

Within seconds, half my body was in the water and the little girl was clutching onto me, fear shaking her body to the core. She began sobbing and clasped her arms around my neck tightly, her long hair falling over my shoulder.

“Hey, hey, shh - it’s alright, you’re safe now,” I spoke, trying to calm her. I turned around and slowly trudged out. A woman ran towards me and assuming it was her mother I tried to unwound the girls hands from around my neck. However, she was so scared, she didn’t let go, even when her mother began whispering soothing words to her. The water was now lapping at my drenched shoes and the sun was almost completely lowered.

Sighing, her mother faced me and smiled. “JazakAllah kheir, brother. You just saved my little girls life.” 

“It’s no problem,” I smiled back and continued to stroke the little girls back. Her bucket had floated off deeply into the sea now and I had a sudden idea.  

“Hey, err,” I looked towards the mother questioningly.

Understanding registered on her face and she said, “her names Lara.” 

“Hey Lara,” I tried again. “If I promise to get you a new bucket, will you let go and give your mum a hug? She really misses you.” Slowly, she lifted her face away from the crook of my neck and stared at me, her brown eyes still tinged with fear. She sniffed and when I smiled at her encouragingly she nodded and I handed her over to her mum.  

“I’ll find you here next week, at the same time OK? Make sure you come!” The little girl nodded meekly. I chuckled lowly and turned to walk away when I heard a squeak of a ‘thank you’ from behind me. I gave her one last smile and waved at her mother before finally heading home. 

 **** 

“Why are you wet?” Was the first question my mother berated me with as soon as I walked through the door. 

“I was at the beach,” came my clipped answer. I could feel my mums calm eyes on me, no doubt analysing my every move.  

“OK…” she drawled, lifting her eyebrows. She was eyeing my bandaged hand but she didn’t comment on it. 

“I’m going to shower and pray,” I voiced, trying to excuse myself.

“You do that,” she said. “But as soon as you finish come into the kitchen. I need to talk to you.” 

“About what?” I questioned, pausing before the hallway. 

“We’ll speak when you finish.”

“But-,” 

“When you finish Zach!” I sighed and nodded my head before heading straight to the shower. 

I was done fifteen minutes later, having prayed and changed into comfortable sweats and a plain white shirt. I was reluctant as I walked into the kitchen.  

I found mum stirring something in a pot before she lifted the wooden spoon to her mouth and tasted it. I had no idea why she was even cooking at this time, it was almost eight-thirty. 

“What is that?” I peeked over her shoulder and saw that she was actually melting chocolate. When I tried to scoop some with my finger, she swatted my hand away.  

“I thought I raised you better than that,” she said mockingly and gave me a playful smile. 

I laughed and kissed her forehead before sitting on one of the stools in our kitchen. “You did mum. An error on my behalf.” 

She continued stirring for a few minutes and then poured the chocolate in a small white bowl. She grabbed another plate that had some strawberries and bananas already cut up as well as two forks before settling everything in front of me.  

“What’s all this for?” I wasted no time in digging in. Mum knew me well, as she must’ve cut up at least three bananas and two boxes of strawberries. Anything less wouldn’t satisfy my hunger.

“Nothing…I just miss my son. Can’t I spend some time with you, chatting over delicious fondue?” 

My mum was extremely bad at trying to deceive people with her facial expressions. “You can…but come on mum. I know there’s something on your mind.” 

She bit her lip before sighing and laying down her fork. 

“Wow mum, this is serious,” I joked. She chuckled before her face turned serious again.

“What happened the other day? With Yasmine, I mean.” She looked up at me, worry and eagerness painted across her features. I squirmed in my seat.

“What do you mean?” I lamely replied. 

She gave me a ‘you know what I’m talking about look’ but continued to speak. “One second Yasmine was at our house and the next she was gone. And you - you looked like you had just seen a ghost. So, what happened?” 

“Is there any way I can avoid this conversation?” I asked, hopeful.

“Not a chance Zach.” She gave me a rueful grin and waited for me to speak.

I exhaled loudly. “This is so awkward,” I mumbled. Looking into my mums warm eyes, I decided it was time she knew the truth. What was the point of hiding it from her anyway? “That day - when I opened the door…I was shocked to find Yasmine there because we haven’t exactly been on good terms.”  

My mum furrowed her eyebrows. “How come?” I proceeded to tell my mum about the whole distancing issue and how although it was hard, I felt like I was ignoring a big part of my deen.  

“Aha,” my mum said nodding. I thought I saw something like pride in her eyes but she didn’t say anything else, just kept quiet so I could continue. 

“So to cut a long story short - when I opened the door, I was shocked to see her there but even more shocked when she, she…” I paused not knowing if I should reveal this part but my mother was staring at me intensely. I had gone too far already.

“She told me she loved me,” I finished.  

“I knew it!” My mother said, slamming the table with her hand.  

Shocked, I asked, “what do you mean you knew it?!” 

“Oh honey - you’re so naive sometimes.” She shook her head at me. “You two were the oblivious ones, but everyone around you could see it.” I was gaping at my mother now. 

She laughed. “Love blinds people, you know. I was exactly the same when I first met your father.” She had a nostalgic look on her face, accompanied by a sweet smile. No pain, remorse or regret. I could see her sifting through her happy memories with him.

“Oh, close your mouth Zach. So, I’m guessing you didn’t say it back, right?”

I shook my head. “I didn’t have the courage to. I didn’t even know she felt that way about me!” I defended. 

“Isn’t it funny…love renders you a coward whilst explosions barely affect you.” I groaned. 

“Muumm. Stop. I’m uncomfortable.” 

She gave a hearty laugh and walked around the countertop. She gave me a sideways hug and I suddenly felt so much more at home, as her flowery perfume filled my nostrils. 

“I’m proud of you honey - what you did, trying to stay away from her for the sake of Islam…not many hormonal boys would do that. I can tell you really love her…you’re a bit young but you don’t know what Allah [swt] has in store for you. As your mother, I just want to give you a piece of advice. Prepare yourself for the possibility that she might never be yours. I don’t want a heartbroken son and I know you - you don’t let go of things easily.”  

“Don’t worry mum - I think I’ve lost my chance anyway.”  

“You don’t know that,” she said, stroking my hair. 

I sighed. “Just don’t tell Jacob, OK? He won’t let me live it down.” 

“Aww I’m truly heartbroken brother. Leaving me out of this little ‘down and meaningful’ conversation, are we?” I swivelled around, to find my brother leaning against the fridge, his hands crossed over his chest and an evil smirk on his face.

I groaned again. “Great. How much did you hear?”

“Oh not much - just that you made an arse of yourself. Honestly though, you left her hanging?” He shook his head as he opened the fridge and pulled out a water bottle.  

“Leave him alone Jacob. He’s going through a tough time.” Jacob and mum gazed at each other intensely for a few seconds, before bursting into laughter.  

“You know what,” I got up out of my chair. “I’m out.” I walked out of the kitchen, their laughter still ringing behind me.  

“Hey loverboy, come back! We were just getting started!” 

“Honey, I’m sorry, please come here!”  

“Oy, you actually broke your hand because of a girl?!”

I ignored them and continued walking to my room. Yet, a small smile made it’s way onto my face. I hadn’t heard both mum and Jacob laugh together in a long, long time.

I jumped onto my bed, bouncing up and landing on my back. Rubbing my face, I closed my eyes, but it seemed like every time I did, one face and one name only, would float before my eyes. 

****

“Zach.”  

“Zach, wake up.” 

I woke up to the hands of my mother, as she shook me awake. I grumbled and then finally hauled my body upwards.  

“It’s fajr now habibi and then we’re going Eid salah.”  

“Oh.” Time was going too fast for my liking. The whole month of Ramadan had now already passed and exams were over. “SubhanAllah.” 

Mum chuckled as she walked out of my room. Since Eid just happened to fall on a Friday, I showered as it was strongly recommended in Islam to cleanse yourself on this holy day. I made wudu’, which was really hard with my broken hand, and then walked into my room, a towel wrapped around my waist.

Since the prophet [pbuh] recommended you wear at least one new item of clothing on Eid, I pulled out a new grey button down shirt I had never worn before and some black dress pants. I really wasn’t in the mood to be formal, but I knew mum and Aunt Heba would kill me if I didn’t dress nicely. I prayed fajr and ate two pieces of toast before heading back into my room. I quickly put on black converse shoes and decided not to wear a tie. I spiked my hair up with a bit of gel and then walked out, as Eid prayer would start in twenty minutes. 

“Mum, Jacob, you guys ready?” Not long after, my brother walked out, looking pretty similar to me. A few more seconds and mum finally emerged from her room. She was wearing a black, white and grey long dress with a grey hijab. 

“Wow mum. MashAllah you look great.” Even though she was in her mid-fourties, mum retained much of her beauty, especially in her facial features. 

“Agreed,” Jacob said. We both walked up to her, Jacob first picking up her right hand and kissing it three times, then I did the same.  

“Eid Mubarak, mum,” we said, simultaneously. She was looking at us with so much emotion in her eyes, love and affection visible. Slowly, tears sprung to her eyes and she instantly encased us both in a bone-crushing hug.  

“Mum?” Jacob said. “Please don’t cry.” She let go of us then and wiped away a tear. 

“I’m not, shoosh. Anyway let’s go, your Aunt is waiting for us,” she said, hurriedly walking across the room and picking up her handbag, still wiping away at her tears. Ever since dad died, she’d get extremely emotional on days like this. Jacob and I shared a worried look before we walked out after her, closing the door behind us. 

We got to Al Saleheen mosque within minutes. Mum moved off to the women’s section whilst me and Jacob walked into the mens area. It was packed, as per every Eid, and we managed to squeeze in, lining up with all the other men. We prayed the two prostrations required for Eid prayer, listened to a short lecture from the sheikh, before everyone began to disperse. Outside, they had set up stalls filled with sweets and activities for the children to enjoy.  

I knew mum would be a while, chatting to all the ladies, so I searched for Laith and eventually found him with the guys from our soccer team. I joined him, quickly checking where Jacob was, and saw him at the front with his own group of friends.  

“Asalamu alaikum,” the boys spoke to me as I walked up. 

“Wa alaikum asalam. Eid mubarak girls,” I joked, smirking at them. Some of them snickered and some just scoffed.  

“Hey, what happened to your hand?” asked Firas, the dopey one of the group. 

“I broke it.” He opened his mouth, but before he could speak I cut him off. “And don’t ask me how.”

“Didn’t even know you could break your hand,” he mumbled dejectedly. We all blinked at him for a few seconds, before falling over in laughter.

“Dude, you’re hilarious,” I said. Laith slapped him on the back and shook his head, still laughing. We continued to talk and even managed to swipe some sweets amongst the chaos. For a while, I was kept content, my mind occupied. Slowly, however, thoughts of Yasmine and her heartbroken look slithered into my mind and my mood rapidly began to dim. I hadn’t seen her today…usually, after prayer, my family would go to hers and hang. I doubt that would happen today. 

I excused myself to go and get more sweets from one of the vendors. As soon as I walked out, I felt like someone was staring at me. Looking up and scanning my eyes over the ruckus of kids screaming and running, the streamers and balloons as well as Eid signs, my eyes finally met with deep brown ones. 

I stopped in my tracks at the sight of Yasmine. I couldn’t help but inhale sharply at the sight of her. She was wearing my favourite colour, attired in a beautiful red dress. I caught her doleful eyes one last time before I forced myself to move off towards the stall.  

This was going to be harder than I thought.

Before I could tell the guy behind the stall what I wanted, I was roughly grabbed from behind and pulled away from the stall. 

“What the hell?” Turning my head, Noah had my arm in a firm grip. “Dude let go.” He didn’t listen and kept on dragging me until we were at a good distance away from everyone. He directed me behind a wall, where no one could see us or hear us. 

“What’s going o-,” I started, but I was cut off, when Noah forcefully slammed me against the wall. My breath came out with an ‘oof’ and I coughed, trying to regain oxygen into my lungs. Has this guy gone mad?! 

I looked up, prepared to push myself off the wall but he grabbed me by the collar and pushed me back.   

“What did you do to Yasmine?!” He yelled menacingly. His eyes bore into mine, fury dominating his emotions.  

“Calm dow-,” I tried but was cut off yet again. I had never seen Noah this angry.

“No! I’ll ask you again - what happened between you and Yasmine?” His voice was low and threatening and I knew I was in deep shit now. 

****

A/N 

Can I just say, I loved writing this chapter. Vote and comment, amigos! 

Definitions: 

Fajr: Dawn prayer

Deen: Religion'

 Maghreb: Prayer done at sunset

Eid: Islamic celebration, done at the end of Ramadan

Salah: Prayer

Wudu’: Ablution  

Asalamu alaikum: Islamic greeting, ‘Peace be upon you’