Uitwaaien (v.) - To take a break to clear one's head; lit. To walk in the wind. 

Dedicated to Selma1524, because her comments make me happy! :) 

Chapter 7 - Confused

Yasmine's POV

The next day meant returning to uni unfortunately but I didn’t mind all too much, because it meant I would see Salma and Shaymah. I missed spending some girl time with them. Maybe it was because the guys in my life were driving me nuts. This morning Noah woke me up for fajr, even though I had texted him the night before NOT to wake me up. I couldn’t pray and he had interrupted my amazing dream of Wentworth Miller and I getting hitched. He came in and turned on the light, shaking me violently. 

“Get up Yasmine, it’s time for fajr!” Have I ever mentioned how angry I get when someone turns on the light while I’m sleeping? Just imagine a volcano exploding. 

I had emerged from my bed like the undead and to say that Noah was transforming into a ghost, would be an understatement. He looked like he was about to disintegrate into dust. I don’t blame him though, I become extremely terrifying when it comes to my sleep being disturbed. 

“I told you. NOT. To wake me up! I can’t pray!” I think at the time I was more upset over the fact that I couldn’t continue my beautiful dream with Wentworth Miller. 

Noah laughed nervously, “W-what do you mean you can’t pray?” I slapped my forehead in annoyance and if it weren’t for my injured left hand I would have strangled him right then and there. 

“What is it that stops girls from praying Noah?” I spelled it out for him. After a while I saw realization dawn on his face, before he mumbled a quick apology, turned off the light and bolted out the door. 

Because of him it took me a while to fall back asleep and then when I did there was only two hours before I had to get up again. And as usual I was late. As I flew out the front door I frantically searched for Zach so we could hurry up. If I didn’t leave now I’d be late for my first class. 

After a few seconds, I realised Zach wasn’t waiting for me. He wasn’t inside my house so he had to be here. But as I scanned the area, I couldn't see him anywhere. I pulled out my phone to message him: 

Salams, where are you? 

After about two minutes, I received a reply. 

Wasalams. I woke up late. Head on without me. 

Huh. I don’t remember the last time Zach woke up late. Unlike me, he was an early bird. I shrugged it off and told myself I’d just see him later on in the day, before beginning to power walk to uni.

The day flew by, alhamdulillah, till I could finally meet up with my two favourite girls. They texted me that they were sitting on one of the benches in the rose garden and when I rounded the corner they both waved me over. I absolutely loved this section of our uni, simply because of the tranquil nature that surrounded us. The sun was shining and as I breathed in the air, I could almost taste its crisp freshness.  

“Salam girls,” I chirped happily, throwing my bag on the bench and walking around to hug them. I noted their hugs were a bit tighter and longer than usual. I knew it was their way of comforting me, since they knew I didn’t want to talk about Ehab. God I missed his little laugh.

“How are you?” Salma asked, whilst Shaymah analysed me from top to bottom, as if making sure I wasn’t going to burst at any given moment.

“I’m good alhamdulillah and you girls?” I smiled at them and pulled out my snickers bar. They gave each other a sidewards glance before replying with a cautious ‘good’.

“Shaymah aren’t you excited? It’s your sisters wedding tomorrow!” I exclaimed excitedly. Her older sister, Bahia, was an amazing girl loved by everyone because of her genuine heart and selfless nature. 

“Yes I am!” she replied returning to her normal chattering ways. “I don’t even know why I’m here today though, there’s so much to do!”  

“I’m sure you guys will be fine. Bahia is one of the most organised girls I know,” Salma reassured her. I nodded my head, remembering all to well how OCD Bahia could get. 

“Me and Salma can help too all you have to do is ask,” I said. We continued talking for the next two hours, about the wedding, what we would wear etc until we realised it was getting close to dinner time and we should head home. I kissed the girls goodbye and headed home, reassuring them I’d see them tomorrow night at the wedding. 

I wasn’t really in the mood for a party, even though I hadn’t attended one in a while. Don’t get me wrong, I’m extremely happy for Bahia and I was so excited when she told me the news of her engagement. However, I was experiencing an internal feeling of negativity, like I shouldn’t be allowed to have fun. At least not so soon. But I would suck it up and go for Bahia and Shaymah’s sake.

As I was walking home I decided to stop at the orphanage for a quick visit. Once I arrived at the door, I paused and took a deep breath before entering. It was definitely hard and brought back memories, but I had to remember that although Ehab was one of my favourites, there were other kids whom I needed to look out for. These kids didn’t have families and once they became attached to you, and you become attached to them, it was quite hard to leave. I knew that I could never stop coming here, no matter the bitterness that may follow me, because I was sure that, that bitterness would transform into strength.

I hung out with the kids for a while, checking up that they had all their basic necessities. I was glad to see most of the kids smiling and playing happily, despite the loss of someone who became their brother. It’s better to smile and continue on with life, putting your faith and trust in Allah rather than becoming cynical and depressed. Turning to Allah in every regard is the best action one can take. I made a mental dua for these kids to have everlasting happiness and said a big thankyou and alhamdulillah to Allah [swt] for everything that I did have.

As I waved goodbye to all the kids, I received a chorus of ‘bye’, ‘salams’, and ‘bring me chocolate next time!’ I laughed at the last comment, as I knew it was from Omar, one of the older boys in the orphanage. He was around 15 and was undergoing puberty, so he’s consumption levels have hit the roof. Every time I came, he requested me to bring some form of food for the next visit. 

I was pondering sending a text to Zach to see where he had been all day but changed my mind. Maybe he needed a ‘guys day’ today, just like me.

****

Things were absolutely chaotic. I had left uni a tad earlier than usual to get ready for the wedding tonight. The party wasn’t for another four hours but before you wonder why in the world I would need four hours to get ready – don’t forget I have three sisters.

My mother didn’t get back from work until one in the afternoon and I didn’t want her to rush her day by worrying after the girls, so I decided to get them ready once they got home from school. Since the twins weren’t wearing the scarf, hair was an issue for all three girls.

I began with Nadia giving her some soft curls and pinning her fringe up to the side, puffing it out a little. I always adored her gorgeous light brown hair she inherited from dad. Rida settled for just straightening her hair, allowing her big gorgeous chocolate brown eyes to pop. I didn’t allow them to put any makeup but being the typical teenyboppers, they were basically begging for it. I caved, only because their whining was giving me a headache and allowed them some eye shadow and mascara only. 

Since the wedding was segregated, the women could take off their scarfs and wear short dresses. Nadia and Rida wore the same black dress that went tight from the top and then flowed out with matching purple glittery shoes. Alhamdulillah mum had bought their outfits beforehand, otherwise it would have been total anarchy.  You do not want to see them two fight; they get vicious.

Next was Deana who wasn’t too difficult. For a seven year old she was extremely mature for her age, very quiet and only spoke when necessary. She put her total faith in me and let me work my magic. I decided she would wear her green fairy dress since she absolutely loved Tinker Bell. As soon as I pulled out the dress her face broke out into a grin.

“Whaddaya say?” I said holding it up. 

“Yay! Can you make me look like a fairy princess?” She replied, her eyes wide.

“But you’re already a princess! How can I make you look more beautiful than you already do?” Her smile widened and her excitement was almost tangible. 

“You’re going to be the prettiest one there,” I assured her. She gave me a big hug as a way of thanks and I got to work, dressing her in green flats and even giving her a black wand to complete the outfit. I pulled her long hair into a bun and left some strands out on each side. She looked adorable and I snapped a quick photo of all the girls, as they did typical poses before heading back to my room.

I lay back on my bed heaving a sigh, suddenly exhausted. I tilted my head to look at the time on my clock and realised I only have one hour to get ready. I decided to wear a tight black skirt that flared out peplum style, coupled with a lace peach coloured top and black heels (A/N: outfit to the side). My hair I decided would stay with its natural curls and after I had finished my makeup ending with some pink lipstick, I slipped on skinny legs and a formal jacket with a black hijab that I would take off once there.

I looked pretty good and I knew Shaymah and Salma would be happy with my efforts. I walked downstairs to find everyone in the living room, dressed and ready to go. I saw all three of my sisters looking at me wide-eyed, something like adoration visible. 

“MashAllah you look stunning Yasmine,” my mother said, walking up to me and making me do a three-sixty degree turn.

“Thanks mum!” I said, beaming at her. Thankgod I was good at walking in heels and managed not to look like a dinosaur with back problems. As I was walking out, I saw Noah glancing at my outfit warily.

“Spit it out Noah,” I said walking past him. I could almost feel his glare on my back. 

“I have nothing to say.” Yeah right, I thought. 

Since we didn’t all fit in one car Noah and I were jumping into Jacob’s car along with Zach and his mum. Once we heard the beep of a horn from outside we all moved out. I made sure Adam and Deana were seated properly in our car before heading towards Jacob’s. I saw Zach and Jacob get out to shake my dads hand whilst my mum was talking to khalto through the car window. Just as Zach turned around to head to the other side of the car his eyes unconsciously landed on me. He looked away and then did a double take when he realised it was me. I raised my eyebrow at him, and then began to blush when I saw the intensity of his gaze. Finally, he lowered his gaze and ran a hand through his styled hair, shifting from one foot to another. 

“Y-Yasmine? You look different. But, like, good different,” he mumbled out.

“Gosh, you’re so typical. Just because I look girly and pretty for once. How ugly do I look on average days?” I wondered aloud to myself.

 “You look pretty everyday,” he said his cheeks colouring red.

I narrowed my eyes at him. “Why are you being nice? And why did you go MIA yesterday? I didn’t see you all day.”

I saw disappointment flash through his eyes before he said, “I was busy,” and then got into the car. What the hell? I jumped in after him, Noah sitting in between us and said salams to his mum and Jacob. I sat through the whole ride utterly confused about his behaviour. I kept turning around to look at him and saw him fidgeting in his seat. The guys in my life really are driving me crazy, I thought to myself, sighing and leaning my head against the window.

Finally, we had arrived at the hall, ending the tension-filled and awkward car ride. The women were upstairs whilst the men were down for the party, so we went our separate ways. I walked inside, telling myself that tonight I would at least try to enjoy myself.

Zach’s POV

I didn’t know if what I was doing was the right thing to do. All I did know, was that I had to deal with the arising temptations. Ever since the beginning of the year, I had been seeing Yasmine differently. What transformed this change I had no idea.

My thoughts and feelings were confirmed the day I was at her house, and she was crying in the kitchen. Seeing her in that way – it just did something to me. The pain was evident not only in her words but even the way she looked; I knew she wasn’t completely happy and she wasn’t carefree like before. As I watched her cry I had the overwhelming urge to protect her and make her happy, like my life depended on it. Of course I had always cared for Yasmine, but never this intensely. 

So I decided the best thing for me to clear my head was to spend a day away from her. I didn’t go to her house and I didn’t even show up at uni. I had missed the daily game of soccer with the boys, just incase Noah asked me to come over. All my thoughts that day revolved around her – the complete opposite of what I intended to contemplate. By the end of the night I decided I wasn’t going to fool myself. I have feelings for Yasmine. 

That was OK. However, I promised myself I would do everything in my power not to act on those feelings. 

She didn’t make it any easier. Her messages, even just her presence. When I saw her walking towards me, I felt like my brain went into shutdown. She looked beautiful and I wasn’t going to deny I had analyzed her. It took me a few long seconds to finally lower my gaze and by then, I felt extremely guilty. If I had a sister I know I wouldn’t want any man to look at her, the way I had looked at Yasmine. 

It annoyed me that she didn’t take my compliment seriously and when she had asked me again where I’d been, a vague answer was all I could give her. I saw the hurt and confused expression on her face as I walked off but I told myself it was for the best. 

During the ride to the hall, Noah and my mum kept trying to make conversation but I was feeling annoyed and stressed. That only increased when we arrived at the hall and Yasmine walked off, not even glimpsing in my direction. I had the strongest urge to grab her, hold her close and apologise but of course that would not happen. Never in a million years, I thought.

When we finally walked inside, my mind was reeling and I felt a headache emerging. I walked in the hall with Jacob, Noah and his dad trailing behind me. 

“You ok bro?” I felt Noah nudge my side. 

“Hmm? Yeah sorry, just tired man,” I said, rubbing my eyes, where I could feel the headache originating.

“Come on, that’s what girls say. Why you so on edge today?” he said eyeing me.

“Just the travelling, you know how it is,” I lied. There was no way I could tell Noah the truth. Then I wouldn’t see her for more than a day. 

I wasn’t willing to risk that.  

Yasmine’s POV

After the groom and Bahia’s male relatives, including her older brother, father, uncles and grandfather walked her in, the party went into full swing. The woman relished in the fact that they could take off their scarfs and let their hair loose. Even I had to admit it felt good to leave my hair out.

A crowd of women were dancing to Arabic music on the dance floor enjoying themselves immensely. I saw Bahia dancing in the middle, looking stunning in her simple white dress. I smiled to myself and took another sip of my drink before helping myself to more food.

What? The best thing at weddings was the food, especially the mezza they had on the table. 

Salma came and plopped down next to me, beads of sweat travelling down her forehead.

“I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself McSweaty,” I said, laughing at how hard she was breathing, as if she had just run a marathon.

“Oh shut up you know I can’t help it when it comes to Arabic music,” she breathed, stealing the cup from my hand. Before I could verbally abuse her, Bahia walked up to the table. 

“Yasmine come on, get up. Some girls want to do dabkeh and we all know you’re the best at it so you have to lead.” I couldn’t exactly say no to the bride and I didn’t want to upset her, so slipping my heels back on, I got up and walked towards the dance floor, Salma hot on my heels. God that girl got so excited when it came to dancing.

The song changed to a traditional Palestinian song that was more upbeat and fitting for dabkeh. I grabbed Salma’s hand and she grabbed the next girls, until a curved line was formed in the shape of the dance floor. I started off slow, moving one foot in front of the other, at pace with the song. Then as soon as the chorus began, I launched into the full moves, jumping whilst skillfully moving my feet to the tune. (A/N video on the side). We went on for about five minutes before I ran out of breath and sat down, breathing hard. It was a thrill and I loved it, the blood now pumping in my veins faster. It was all I needed to get me in the mood and from then on, I enjoyed my night with the girls. They even dedicated a song for ‘mother-daughter’ dances and it was good to see my mum smile as she took turns with all of us.

After about two hours, the woman began getting dressed again as all the men were going to come upstairs. I quickly got dressed and went to make sure the twins had pulled their jackets on. Within ten minutes, all the woman had shuffled to one side and the men began crowding on the other side. I saw my dad, Noah, Jacob and Zach with Adam in tow and I motioned for him to come to me. My poor dad was probably sick of holding him. After a few speeches including an adorable one from Bahia’s husband, they made their way onto the dance floor for the slow dance. The lights dimmed and everyone hushed, the atmosphere was perfectly romantic.

I watched them sway to the music and whisper sweet nothings to each other, hoping one day I’d have a marriage as beautiful as theirs. I was broken out of my thoughts when I felt a nudge in my side.

“Psht!” 

I looked over to see Salma staring at me expectantly. “What?”

“Why does Zach keep looking over at you?” I scoffed and told her to relax.

“No seriously. Look! He’s looking at you right now, I swear.” I couldn’t resist turning my head and sure enough, my eyes locked with Zach’s green ones. I made sure to have an expressionless face on and turned around, crossing my arms across my chest stubbornly. If he wanted to act like I didn’t exist, well, two can play the game.

The song switched to another slow one where other couples, or whoever wanted to, could dance. I saw my parents get up and smiled at how cute they were. I pulled my phone out to check for any messages, mindlessly scrolling through, when I saw an arm being held out to me – a male arm. My heartbeat quickened and my thoughts went racing...he wouldn’t actually dare? My thoughts were cut off, when I looked up to see Noah holding out his hand, face red, most likely because he was standing in front of a table of women.

I slowed my racing heart and got up, taking his hand and releasing him from his embarrassment. “Aw I knew you were a cheeseball at heart,” I said, just to torture him. He mumbled a 'shut up' and as we danced, I saw Salma watching us, basically swooning after my brother. I smiled at her and wiggled my eyebrows up and down suggestively, before she turned around, a deep blush on her face.

As we turned around slightly, my gaze sweeped over Zach again who was leaning back, arms crossed just watching us intently. This time it was my turn to wonder what was going through his head.

A/N

Salam everyone! An extra long chapter because you guys are awesome and deserved something longer. I hope you guys enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. I really want to urge you all to vote and comment, let me know your thoughts so I can, InshAllah, make my writing better for you! 

The next update most likely won't be for another week because I have a Psychology exam that I need to study for! Make dua for me lol. 

Once again thankyou all so much for the support, over 800 reads! I’m amazed <3

Stay Awesome!

Definitions 

Khalto: Aunt 

Mezza: Small varieties of food, such as finger foods, hummus, salads, samosas etc 

Dabkeh: traditional dance, that originates in many Arab countries not only Palestine (Video on the side)