"Our impulses are what reveal our character. What we are quick to do, we are quick to be." - Anonymous.

 ~ You guys might just kill me after this chap.

Chapter 22 - Impulsive.

My first thought was: ‘Does Jacob build tunnels?!’

Then: ‘Oh hey, Jacob! I haven’t seen him in ages!’

And finally: ‘Holy crap, I think Jacob attacked me.’ 

As the hurricane speeding around in my brain calmed down and the dots finally connected together, I couldn’t help but let out another slight gasp.  

Hazel eyes. This whole time, I had been grilling myself over the fact that I couldn’t figure out this person, when the answer had been so obvious all along. 

Jacob was the one and only person I knew who had hazel eyes. They weren’t as fluorescently green as Zach’s but I should have been able to immediately pinpoint who those eyes belonged to. I can’t believe it had taken me this long. 

I continued to survey Jacob and observed his movements, as he tightened his laces and wrapped a sweat-absorbing bandana across his forehead. He walked up to the visibly large hole in the ground, stretching his legs and readying himself to climb down. He sat down and dangled his legs inside the hole. 

Before I could comprehend my own thoughts, my legs had thrust me forward and I began running at full speed towards him. 

“Jacob, wait!” I breathed, coming to a stop, just a metre before him. 

He looked up, a confused frown etched on his face, but when his eyes landed on my puffed out form, his facial expression merged into one of shock and slight alarm. 

“Yasmine? What are you doing here?” 

“You!” I voiced, still breathless. “You attacked me!” I continued, ignoring his question. 

His eyes widened considerably, before he got up and nodded his head, signalling for me to move aside with him. 

“Listen, Yasmine,-” he began, once we were out of earshot from any onlookers.  

“How could you do that?!” I yelled, cutting him off.

“I,-“ he attempted to continue but I was having none of it.

“And then you just left me in the dark! What the hell?! And what were you saying on the phone about Zach?! You’re a tunnel worker now?! I’m,-“ 

“SQUIRT!” His loud voice cut off my own and I finally closed my mouth, realising how annoyed Jacob looked.

“Are you going to let me talk now?” he questioned. I nodded my head meekly.

“Women,” he mumbled, shaking his head and swiping a hand through his hair.

“Look,” he started. “Yes I did attack you that night. But I thought a man was following me and so on instinct, I reacted. If I had known it was you, let alone a girl, I would never have done what I did. Why were you following me anyway?” 

I gnawed on my lower lip and contemplated my answer. “I heard you, or at the time I thought it was a stranger, mention killing Zach on the phone.” 

He raised his eyebrow. “So you thought that following me would be the wisest option?”  

I merely shrugged my shoulders. 

“Ya Allah, Yasmine. If you had fully learnt to tame your streak of rebelliousness, you would have known not to make assumptions. I was on the phone with Zach and he was asking me how to kill a zombie on our new x-box game. That’s what you overheard that night.”

I blinked at him. 

My ears were ringing.

“Hellooo. Yasmine?” he waved a hand in front of my face but I didn’t react.

And then suddenly, I exploded. 

“ARE YOU SERIOUS! AN X-BOX GAME?! X-BOX! DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW MUCH PROBLEMS YOU’VE CAUSED? WHAT I SACRIFICED. JACOB, I’M GOING TO KILL YOU!” I laughed humourlessly and began pacing manically, my right eye twitching in the process. 

Jacob jumped at my outburst and began to slowly back away. I didn’t blame him, because I was so close to wrapping my hands around his neck and wringing it until he lost consciousness.

“Hey! How is this my fault?! You’re the one that followed me!”

“IF YOU SHOWED YOUR FACE INSTEAD OF RUNNING AWAY, NONE OF THIS WOULD HAVE HAPPENED!”

“None of what would have happened? I didn’t even hurt you, I just threw you on the floor. Yasmine, relax!”  

I turned my face from him and began to take in deep breaths. He didn’t know what I had been doing every night and how I had lost the trust of both Noah and Zach. He didn’t know the worry and fear that kept me up every night, all because of his one stupid sentence and my inability to think before I acted. 

“I need to sit down.” I didn’t even bother moving and just plopped down directly where I had been standing. I put my head in my hands and berated myself constantly. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

I heard Jacob’s feet shuffle away and then a few seconds later he returned. 

“Here, drink this.” I looked up to see a water bottle hanging in front of my face.

“Fasting, remember,” I whispered, suddenly tired. 

“Oh, right. Sorry.” I felt him sit next to me, cross his legs and let out a large sigh. 

There was a few minutes of silence before he spoke up. 

“Yasmine…did you actually think someone was out to kill Zach?”

I nodded my head, not having the energy to reply.

“I want to laugh but I’m scared you’ll kill me.” I sensed amusement laced in his voice, along with absolute seriousness but all I did was turn my head a little in his direction, to acknowledge his comment.  

“What even compelled you to think that?”  

I considered my words slowly. “Was high on emotions that day, I guess.”  

There was another audible sigh from him. “When are you two just going to confront each other and stop playing this game already?” 

“What’re you talking about,” I asked, scrunching my eyebrows in confusion. 

“You and Zach. Would you two just admit you,” he paused and had a disturbed expression on his face before continuing, “love each other.”

I could feel my face pale and my heart pick up speed. “Jacob, I already feel like killing you, don’t make me actually do it.” I turned away and attempted to hide my burning cheeks. Never in a million years, did I think I’d be having this conversation with Jacob, out of all people.

“Whatever you say. I’m not one to persist,” he drawled out. He stretched his legs out and leaned back, steadying himself with his hands. 

I avoided eye contact and busied myself, observing our surroundings.

“So what, you’re a tunnel worker now?” I interrogated.

“Yep,” he said, popping the ‘p’. 

“Does your mum or Zach know about this?” 

“Nope. And I don’t intend for them to know.” He turned to me with a pointed look.

“Is this why you ran from me? ‘Cause you didn’t want me to find out?”

He nodded his head and I thought I saw a flicker of sadness cross his eyes. And then, a thought suddenly clicked in place. Like a piece in a jigsaw puzzle. 

“All those late nights that Zach’s been worrying over…this is where you’ve been coming isn’t it?”  

He remained silent but I understood his answer.  

“You know how dangerous this job is, right?” 

I knew many men who had worked in the tunnels and many more who had gotten injured in the occupation. The current siege placed on Gaza by Israel meant that only the bare minimum of resources were allowed in. Calories were counted down to the last measurement and only specified items were allowed in. It was their way of leaving Gazans on the brink of poverty.

In response, a new occupation of tunnel building began. Men would dig underground hallways that lead  directly into Egypt, usually into a house, where a merchant was willing to help out. Through the newfound tunnel, resources and items from Egypt would be smuggled into Gaza, ranging from food, equipment and even sheeps and cows.  

The Palestinian side would pay the Egyptian for whatever it is that was smuggled and then in return, the Palestinian man would sell the items here in Gaza. For many it was a source of income. 

Dad had always stressed how dangerous it was and that he’d never wish for Noah to participate in it. There were many incidents were the soil and mud had collapsed onto the workers, causing them to suffocate and die. There were even cases were men got stuck underground for days. I cringed just thinking about it. 

“I know Yasmine. Think about it though…mum and Zach rely on me. They think I work in a cafe but in reality, this is what’s getting food on the table. I know that if they found out, they’d stop me and then we’d be left with nothing. It’s the only way I can support my family Yasmine.” His eyes were burning with determination and in that moment I was extremely proud of Jacob.  

Here we were, assuming the worst, when the poor kid was just trying to make ends meet. 

“I understand Jacob. I won’t tell them.” I smiled at his shocked face and shook my head. 

“Although if Zach finds out I knew, he’d probably never forgive me,” I continued. 

“He will. The kids life revolves around you.” Hearing his words, I thought back to the bitter quarrel we had and what I had uttered to him. 

You were too mean, Yasmine. 

No he deserved it! He’s the one who hurt me. 

I groaned and rubbed at my temples viciously. 

“So…how’s Abdullah?” I whipped my head towards Jacob, to see him smirking down at me. 

“Shutup Johnny. I’m going to go now.” I got up and dusted my self off. 

He was still smirking knowingly and instead of kicking him, like I so badly wanted to, all I said was, “be careful out there Jacob,” and walked off.  

And all I could think of as I trudged home was:

I’m an idiot.

****

After taraweeh had ended, I headed over to Salma’s house and called Shaymah on the way, telling her to come too. I already knew Miriam was busy tonight, so I didn’t bother disturbing her. 

I needed some girl time and I needed it fast. 

I walked into her house, giving my salams to her parents, whilst attempting to dodge the crazy children that had suddenly clung on to me. Finally, khalto gave them a piercing look and they all reluctantly removed their hands. I smiled at her thankfully before shuffling into Salma’s room. Shaymah was already seated comfortably on the floor and I walked directly inside, groaned and launched myself onto her bed.

“This world is an unfair place,” I mumbled into the bed. 

“Would you like to enlighten us dear?” Shaymah's voice drifted to me from the floor.  

I actually didn’t waste any time and told them about my 'wrong-doings' the last few days. They were shocked - that was a given. What I didn’t expect however, was for them to begin laughing, once I had finished narrating what happened with Jacob, making sure not to include the little fact about him being a tunnel worker. 

“You guys are the worst friends.”  

“We know,” Salma said, wiping a stray tear. 

“Gosh…love really does make you do crazy things,” Shaymah voiced, shaking her head at me. 

“Shutup. Shutup, shutup, shutup!” I yelled. 

“OK let’s leave her alone, poor girl’s going insane.” Salma walked over and lay down next to me on the bed. I put my head on her shoulder and closed my eyes, exhaling slowly.

“Noah will forgive you for whatever he’s angry about and so will Zach. You guys both said bad things in a moment of anger but you always cancel each other out. You’ll be fine.” 

“She’s right,” Shaymah said, hauling herself up. 

“Now get up! It’s time for some sweets!” 

 **** 

An hour later, Noah texted me that he was outside, ready to pick me up. I waved goodbye to Salma, who had insisted on walking me to the door. She smiled and waved at the two of us, before we both turned around and headed home, a deafening silence encompassing us.  

“So…,” I drawled, kicking a stone with my foot. “Are you going to tell me what’s wrong or shall I die from  silent treatment?”  

I could of sworn I saw a small smile itching to emerge but he managed to keep it in place. 

He launched straight into the conversation, which surprised me. “What’s wrong,” he began, putting his hands in his pockets and tightening the jacket around his abaya, “is that my sister suddenly became mysterious and distant, to the extent that she hasn’t even realised her own sisters put the scarf on yesterday.” 

“What?!” I screeched, halting in my steps. “Really?!” 

Noah nodded his head at me, almost disappointingly. I closed my eyes and breathed in slowly. If there was a wall next to me right now, I’d probably bang my head against it continuously.  

“Argh. I’ll get them a gift or something. I’ll make it up to them, don’t worry,” I muttered, scratching my head.  

“I’m sure you will,” was Noah’s bleak response.

“Noah you don’t have to worry about me so much. Just because I’m distant here and there, doesn’t mean I’m going to go completely off the rails.”  

“With you, I never know.” I nudged him playfully and he finally cracked a smile. 

And just like that, it was less awkward between us and the air had been somewhat cleared.

“Noah?” 

“Mmm?” he hummed, staring straight ahead.

“Would you say I’m an impulsive person?”  

He frowned at my question but thought about it nonetheless. “Yes, sometimes you can be.” 

“Really?” At least he was giving me an honest answer.

“Yeah,” he said, shrugging. “I thought it was pretty impulsive that you accepted Abdullah’s proposal. To be honest, I didn’t really want you to accept.” He peered over at me, cautious, as if he expected me to get angry by his comment.  

“And why am I hearing of this just know?” I questioned, slightly annoyed.  

“I know how easily influenced you are sometimes, so I didn’t want to say anything. I wanted the decision to be wholly yours.” 

“I see. Why didn’t you want me to accept?” Noah really did know me too well because I immediately began to rethink my decision. Did I rush into accepting Abdullah? 

As my older brother, I had always respected Noah’s opinions and usually took them to heart. So I knew that whatever he would say next could change my mentality easily.  

“Don’t get me wrong, Abdullah’s a great guy. I was just surprised, I thought you wanted to focus on studies a bit more before considering marriage. Plus…you are a tad young Yasmine,” he admitted, an edge of worry in his voice. 

I bit my lip and nodded my head. “It’s all naseeb Noah.” 

“Indeed it is.” 

****

A/N

Bleh. A filler chapter but please still vote and comment. 

I'm so tired. 

And I hate modern history. Modern can jump off a cliff. Ancient all the way.

K. Goodnight amigos. 

Definitions:

Allah: God. 

Naseeb: Destiny/Fate.