"Controllers, abusers and manipulative people don't question themselves. They don't ask themselves if the problem is them. They always say the problem is someone else." - Darlene Ouimet 

Dedicated to @MohamedTaqiullahShar because he gave me some really nice, motivating comments! And I think you're the first guy to read my story...or the first I know of! Anyways, thanks for your support!

~ Sorry this update was slow. This chapter required A LOT of research, questioning and making sure my information and knowledge was accurate. If you guys are confused or do have any questions let me know. A pretty dull chapter, but the next one...well. You guys will love the next one.

~ Picture of Erez border on the side. 

Chapter 26 - Caged. 

"What do you mean we're going to Jerusalem?" I questioned, scrunching my eyebrows in confusion. He said it so casually, as if leaving Gaza and travelling into an occupied area was the easiest thing in the world. 

"Well...we're going to try and get into Jerusalem. But we've got it all planned out, so it should be fine," Noah said.  

"Who's 'we'? And would you mind telling me why were going to try and go there?" I exhaled tiredly and massaged my temples. The vagueness of his words was slowly pissing me off. 

"By 'we', I mean me, you and Zach. Since Zach wants to go overseas, he needs a permit. Since it could take weeks or even months, he's decided to go and stay there until they, hopefully accept his request. Then, when they do he will leave straight from Jerusalem to Jordan and then from there, catch a flight to Sweden."  

"Woah, woah, woah. Hold up!" I screeched. Things were moving way too fast for my liking. Everything that Noah said made sense, I knew. Zach would need verification from the Israeli army to leave the country and that meant travelling all the way to Jerusalem, since that's where the embassy was located. "There is no way they're going to let us through the border," I stated, biting on my nails anxiously. 

"We've already applied online - so far things are good, but that might change once we get to the border. We'll try to negotiate our way in - after all me and you will only stay there for two days." I didn't understand how Noah wasn't stressed about this. The Erez border is run mostly by the Israeli military and the only people they allowed to travel through are UN workers, journalists and in some rare cases, extremely sick people, who needed medical care that wasn't available in Gaza. 

"I don't know about this Noah. It's not safe." I was worried, but I also couldn't wrap my head around the fact that so soon, Zach could be in a completely different country.  

"Yasmine, your best friend will be going away, for who knows how many years. The least you could do is give it a shot and try to bid him a proper farewell." Noah had a hidden look in his eyes but I couldn't quite pinpoint his emotion. He rubbed his jaw and then walked back over to the bed and sat down. He looked extremely exhausted, more than usual.

"Why are you so adamant about this? I thought you'd be more reluctant about this trip than me," I asked, skeptically.  

He sighed, the hidden look still present in his eyes. "His mum isn't going to leave obviously and Jacob can't afford to get off work. Who else will go with him and make sure he arrives safely, other than us?" Nodding my head, I went and sat back down next to him. He was right - there was nothing worse than leaving behind everyone and everything you loved - alone, especially in the circumstances we'd be travelling through.  

An automatic shiver coursed through my body as I remembered the last time I travelled through the Erez border, seven years ago. That was back when civilians could pass into the occupied areas, somewhat freely, but now it was extremely restricted. 

"You're right - we should go with him." Noah gave me a small smile and wrapped his arm around my shoulder. 

"Don't worry, you know I'll do everything to keep you safe. Even if I die trying." I rested my head on his chest and smiled. 

"I can defend myself, thank you very much." Noah snorted and turned to look at me with a 'are you serious' expression.  

"With what? Those frail arms?" he said, poking me.  I glared at him and pushed him away.

"You always ruin the moment Noah," I said, rolling my eyes and getting up so I could pray isha. 

"Hey! I was being all soppy for once and you had to go all, 'I can defend myself, thank you very much.'" He mimicked the last part in as much of a high pitched voice as he could muster and I laughed at his idiocy. He chuckled and then clapped his hands together, getting up to leave. 

"Wait, before you go. Have you asked the parents already?" 

"Of course I have. They're not happy. Dad especially, but I managed to convince him." He smiled proudly, as if that was an achievement. Well actually, when you think of my dads stubbornness in these cases, then yes it was most definitely an achievement. 

"And when do we leave?"  

"In a week."

****

"Man I'm hungry," Noah said, shovelling five hot chips at once into his mouth. I paused from my chewing and looked at him, like he was stupid. Well, he was. 

"But you're eating," I stated the obvious.  

He scrunched his eyebrows. "But I'm still hungry."

"But you just ate two burgers before this plate of fries." 

"But I'm hungry." I just blinked at him and then returned to my food. I'm surprised men don't have two stomachs or something. The amount of food him, Zach, Jacob and most guys I've seen consume, would make me fall into a coma. 

"Can I have your schnitzel?" he asked, a hopeful look in his eyes. 

"No!" I said, swatting his hand away. No one comes near my food.

"Such an inconsiderate sister," he grumbled. 

"Shutup fatty." See, this was the kind of behaviour I had to deal with when Noah was around.  

After I finally finished chewing, and slowly just to annoy Noah, we finally paid and left the small restaurant we were in. It was an old restaurant, but was dear to heart since our parents always brought us as children.  

As we stepped out of the building, I suddenly became nervous and began chewing on my nails again. Zach should be here in a few minutes, as well as the taxi we ordered and then we'd be straight off to the border. I hated this fear of the unknown - of not knowing what could possibly happen to us, once there.  

Unlike Gaza, Jerusalem had Jewish Israeli settlers and many sights and areas were patrolled by Israeli soldiers. We didn't have to interact with them here - but the occupied areas were a completely different story. Soldiers were known for kidnapping children on their way to school, as well as shooting and throwing tear gas canisters at anyone who was a 'threat' to them. Brutal bashing and murder was not uncommon. It wasn't a calming feeling walking amidst the people who you know are the cause of murder and theft in your country. It wasn't calming seven years ago and it definitely wouldn't be this time around.  

I adjusted the small duffel bag on my shoulder and tapped my foot impatiently. I could see Noah eyeing me from my peripheral vision but I didn't care that I looked like a nervous wreck. Finally, we saw Zach walking towards us, a few metres away. He was dragging one suitcase behind him and was holding his phone to his ear. I assumed it would be his mum, telling him for the hundredth time to remain safe. 

He ended the call just as he stopped in front of us. He uttered a 'salam' to me and I replied whilst averting my eyes. I pretended to be interested in something ahead of me, when finally the taxi pulled up. The driver emerged and pulled open the boot, all whilst smiling at us nicely. I dumped my duffel bag in the there and then jumped into the back seat. I'm sure my behaviour didn't go unnoticed, as I caught Zach's watchful eye before I sat.  

"Dude, all you brought was one suitcase?" I heard Noah ask. 

"Yeah man. Just the essentials I guess." I heard them shuffling around the bags when finally, they slammed the boot shut and began filing into the car. When, for some reason, Zach got into the back next to me, my heart picked up speed. Noah jumped into the front and I glared at the back of his stupid head. Now the two and a half hour ride would be ten times more awkward. Although there was a space between us, he had an all-consuming aura, his presence filled the car, making me feel slightly choked.  

I wiped my palms against my pants and stared out the window as we finally took off and drove through the constantly bustling streets of Gaza. Noah sparked up a conversation with the driver but neither Zach or myself bothered to contribute. 

I was heartbroken and he - well I couldn't even pretend to know what he was thinking or feeling right now. Once upon a time, I could've. 

For half an hour straight, I didn't look at him once. Well, if you don't count eyeing him from my peripheral vision. I could tell that he was frustrated, as he kept on bouncing his right leg and turning to look at me every few seconds. He rubbed his face and I heard him sigh quietly. 

"Yasmine." My breathing stilled as he whispered my name. I was conflicted - should I acknowledge him or not? Not being able to help myself, I turned around to finally directly face him. "Please don't ignore me," he said, his green eyes burning.  

"I thought you wanted to be ignored," I whisper-yelled. Noah and the taxi driver were still talking, but I was all too aware they could stop and listen in at any moment. "What do you want me to do," I continued. "Act like everything is all fine and dandy?"  

"There's a difference between wanting to be ignored and forcing yourself to be ignored," he stated, his bright eyes never leaving mine. I never realised until now how much I actually missed those deep eyes. His had something special to them - something you wouldn't find in other people's eyes.  

I didn't know how to respond, so I licked my dry lips and faced the window again. At that exact moment, the driver addressed Zach. 

"You going to Sweden, ah boy?" His voice came out in a slow drawl, the Arabic words fusing together, making it difficult to decipher what he had actually said. 

"Yes insha'Allah, if they allow me," Zach responded, barely any emotion in his voice. 

"Why don't you just study here?" 

"The best country that offers my degree is Sweden." The driver nodded his head and drove on in silence for a few minutes.  

"But it's very hard to leave family and friends, no?" Zach shifted in his position and I knew he was uncomfortable with the questions, especially this one.  

"Very," was his short, dull reply. 

I couldn't help it then - the tears fell freely and on their own accord. I tried to be as discreet as possible as I hid my face and wiped my tears. I didn't know how I was supposed to go on with the rest of this trip. 

**** 

Zach's POV

I watched as she wiped away at her tears angrily. I felt my hand twitch with the need to comfort her, but I restrained myself. If only she knew what was really going on. 

I wanted to end her suffering and end mine - I hated the turn that things had taken. And so I did something about it. Yasmine would find out soon enough, but for now, we both had to be incredibly patient. I owed Noah everything for agreeing to help me with this. Without him, the whole plan would have crumbled.  

I exhaled loudly and looked at her one more time. Her eyes were closed now and her breathing evened out. I admired her greedily, taking in every inch of her beautiful face, before berating myself and finally twisting back around. I attempted to also sleep but I knew before I even tried, it would be a feeble attempt. 

What seemed like years later, we finally arrived at the border. Yasmine still hadn't awoken, so I called her name a few times. She cracked her lids open and looked around confusedly. Her eyes met mine and I smiled at her assuredly.  

"We're here." 

She nodded groggily and we both got out of the car, everyone pulling out their bag from the boot. We thanked the driver and paid him a good amount for his efforts. He drove off almost immediately, mumbling something about being home before maghreb time. 

This left all three of us standing with our bags and staring at the open, intimidating area before us. There were blue signs scattered around, one of them stating 'welcome to the Erez border' in English, Arabic and Hebrew. 

"Come on guys, it's now or never," Noah urged and we all took a step towards the entrance. It looked the same as it had seven years ago. Industrialised, with it clearly being a military area. More cargo than pedestrians passed through this border, emphasised by the trucks and high walls. 

We walked up to the Palestinian border control. It was empty, as the border usually was and hence we only had to wait twenty minutes before our I.D., passports and permits were checked by Hamas soldiers. They asked us a few questions about the nature of our trip and we replied as best we could. They accepted our entry and I sighed with relief. The first part was over, but it was the next that was unnerving. We proceeded to walk through a long caged passage for about fifteen minutes. None of us said anything, and I couldn't help but ponder how we were almost caged in like animals. I turned to check on Yasmine - she seemed to be OK. I knew she was strong willed, however, one could never stop worrying in these circumstances.

Reaching a buffer zone, we continue walking through a turnstile until we reach a remotely-operated solid metal door. The door was built into the concrete wall along the border and after waiting five minutes, the door slid open. The walls are now higher and narrower, appearing as if we are in a field of nets. We walk through another turnstile, stopping in front of a table. Since we all know what to do, we begin to place all our items in a tray to be scanned. Money, phones, belts, wallets and everything go into the machine. Clutching only our passports we spread our legs apart and spread our arms out before passing through a full body scanner. 

When I walked through, a green light flashed and pointed to the right. I knew what this meant. Yasmine's eyes widened slightly and I could see fear in them - fear for me. I smiled and tried to communicate with my eyes, that everything would be OK. I moved off through a series of doors, until I reached a room with a metal grid floor. From behind a glass window, a female Israeli officer told me to remove my top.  

Unaffected, I did what she asked for.  

She gestured for me to unzip my trousers and open my fly wide. "We need to see your stomach," she boomed angrily. Once again, I did as I was asked without question. After a few minutes she gestured for me to put my top back on and walk back out.  

I met again with Yasmine and Noah and their relief was almost tangible. We knew not to talk so we continued walking ahead, somewhat stonily. Military personnel remained in offices high above ground level and watched over everyone through windows and closed-circuit televisions. It was best not to cause any suspicion and make our way through as fast as possible. 

Twenty minutes later, our nerves were high as we reached the glass-fronted building, run by the Israeli army. We complied, once again giving them our passports and all the documents they needed.  

"Why are you two only staying two days?" A big burly man, who looked to be around the age of thirty asked, directing his question to Noah and Yasmine. He had the Star of David tattooed on his neck and he was staring at them suspiciously. 

"Our friend here wants to go overseas, so we're here to say goodbye," Noah replied, not an ounce of fear or hesitance in his voice. I could see Yasmine holding her breath and I was doing the same. 

"You couldn't have farewelled him back in Gaza?" He spat out the last word, as if it was a sin just to utter it. I grit my teeth and it took all of my willpower not to throw him a dirty look or spit on him. 

"He's almost family - we wanted to say goodbye properly." Noah, somehow managed to speak calmly and I was grateful one of us had his head on straight. 

"Wait here," he spoke, his loud baritone voice vibrating off the walls. I could tell all of us were making dua that we would be allowed through - if we weren't...it would ruin everything.  

Two hours later and I was becoming pissed off, rather than fearful over not being accepted in. This was ridiculous, humiliating even. Like we were slaves to be held up. I wanted to punch or squeeze something but my right hand was still injured and I knew now was not the time to do something reckless. So I tried to wait as patiently as I could.  

"You alright?" Yasmine's smooth voice reached my ears. 

"Fine," I said. "You know how I am when it comes to these situations." 

"Yeah, I know," she replied, giving a low chuckle. It was music to my ears, finally hearing her laugh after such a long time. In my stupor, I didn't realise that the same soldier was calling for our attention. 

"Go through," he scowled, returning our passports. We collectively sighed in relief and grabbed our bags and items back. We walk through the last point of call, a metal hut. We present our documents one last time and at last, we are let completely through.

We all stopped to stare at the sight before us.  

"Soon, we'll be in Jerusalem guys," Noah breathed tiredly.

****

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Definitions:

Dua: supplication 

Isha: Night prayer  

Maghreb: Prayer done at sunset