"If you believe in justice, surely you believe in the hereafter. Because this world is not just" - Nouman Ali Khan

Dedicated to @sammy_96 one of my first supporters and a beautiful person inside and out.

Chapter 10 - Awkward

I was staring off into space, completely zoned out and in a realm of my own. I tend to do that a lot – my brain likes to take the smallest of ideas and turn them into something phenomenal. It was a wild party in there and I doubt anyone could last two seconds in my brain before exploding. 

I sensed something move over my glazed eyes and when I focused and came back to reality, I realised Salma had been waving her hand in front of my face. 

“Earth to Yasmine,” she said, laughing at my dumbfounded face. Shaymah, who was sitting cross-legged across from us just rolled her eyes and continued to play temple run on her phone. 

“What are you thinking about so deeply, huh?” Salma asked, her eyes twinkling. I gave her a glare since I knew what she was implying. Ever since I had told them about what happened a few nights ago with Zach, they’ve formed this theory that Zach ‘likes’ me. I couldn’t believe how cliché they were being and they hadn’t gotten off my case since. 

“Don’t deny the lurve you feel sista! Embrace it with open arms,” Salma said, excitedly, flinging her arms around my shoulders and crushing me in a hug. Whilst Shaymah roared with laughter I just shook my head at her antics, amusement clearly etched on my face. 

“You’re delusional. Anyway,” I said, lying down on the grass, making myself more comfortable, “even if he did, the feelings aren’t mutual. I see Zach as my brother and if that’s not mutual, he’s gonna have to put up with it,” I finished off. 

“Wow, that’s brutal,” Shaymah added. Salma had an incredulous look on her face, as if she couldn’t believe what I had just said. 

“Don’t look at me like that. I’m telling the truth,” I said and continued to close my eyes, letting my face absorb the sun. I heard Salma huff frustratedly, before picking up her book and turning the page to continue reading. 

What I was really thinking about before they destroyed my reverie was the fact that half the world was declared obese whilst the other half were living below the poverty line. I had read the fact online yesterday night and until now I couldn’t stop contemplating how corrupt this world really is. To further add to my depression, I had overheard my parents talking last night, my father was informing my mother that his cousin in Ramallah had been evicted from his house and was now homeless. He couldn’t even come to Gaza and live with us since there was no way the Israeli military would let him and his family through. It broke my heart hearing that, especially since my father sounded so tired and helpless, as if the whole of the world’s burdens were on his shoulders. 

Although my father was never one to give up and always put on a tough exterior, sometimes people went through low points. I knew he’d never appear or speak that way in front of me or my siblings but with mum that was different. He resolved to contact another friend of his living in Ramallah to take in his cousin and I watched on as mum comforted him and then within minutes he was laughing again. I was always amazed at how convicted and well persevered the men were in our city and it filled me with happiness knowing that, no true Palestinian would ever give up protecting their land, no matter how low their morale was.   

My only form of solace that always managed to deflate my negative feelings was the belief that Allah was watching over the disadvantaged and oppressed and truly justice would be served. 

God my thoughts really take a turn to the left sometimes.     

I sighed and got up. As much as I would love to bake in the sun until I was crispy, I had exams right around the corner. Meaning it was time to get fat whilst crying over blank pages of work. 

I actually wasn’t that much of a stress head but Salma and Shaymah were a different story. They were the epitome of hermits during exam period, which is why I decided to invite them over to study at my house. 

“No way. If I come I’ll procrastinate and squish Adam’s cheeks all day,” Shaymah said, packing up her bag. 

“He’s too tempting isn’t he? Too bad you won’t see him,” I said, laughing as she pouted her lips angrily.  

“I’ll come, but I probably won’t be able to stay that long since mum will need my help with the kids,” Salma said, wiping the grass that was stuck to her backside. 

We bid Shaymah farewell, and had only walked for two minutes when Zach came into view. I could feel Salma instantly perk up next to me, nudging me in the ribs and I just rolled my eyes at her. He walked towards us, his bag slung over one shoulder and his hands hidden in the pockets of his dark denim jeans. 

He nodded at both of us in greeting, before mumbling a “salam”. Salma was beaming widely, looking between the two of us, whilst shifting on the balls of her feet. 

Zach looked at her weirdly before turning to me, “what’s up with her today?” 

“Don’t ask,” I said, putting my hand on her shoulder to still her moving body. 

I looked at Zach closely, realising he had dark circles under his eyes and a bit of stubble growing on his chin and face. He looked worn out, his eyes slightly droopy and his hair, although in it’s usual messy style, looked a bit more disheveled than usual. 

“Hey are you okay?” I asked, slightly worried. 

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just haven’t been getting enough sleep,” he replied honestly, smiling at us. 

“Jacob?” I had my suspicions that things had gotten worse between him and Jacob since the day of the BBQ but I didn’t ask him since we were all already stressed over exams. He usually told me on his own accord when he was ready anyway. 

He just shrugged, diverting his green eyes to the floor. “Just exams and assessments catching up to me I guess. Doesn’t help that I leave all my work until the last minute,” he said, laughing it off. 

I analysed him, knowing that he was trying to downplay how much stress Jacob was causing him. Zach wasn’t perfect and like most men he had an ego – it wasn’t an ego of pride and arrogance some had, but rather, one where he would always try to exhibit a manly exterior. 

Since Salma was also with us, I knew he wouldn’t completely open up, so I didn’t prod or ask any more questions. 

“I think we’re all experiencing the same thing. We’ll be fine InshAllah,” Salma added, ever the optimistic one. 

“InshAllah,” he said, nodding his head. 

“Hey I need your help with the history assignment.” I narrowed my eyes at him. 

“Please tell me you have at least started it.” He averted his eyes meaning the answer was a clear no. 

“Zach! It’s due tomorrow!” 

“I know, I know, but I thought I’ll just come over to yours and I’ll work on it. With your assistance of course.” He had a pleading look in his eyes and I felt bad that I had to reject him. 

“Me and Salma are studying together tonight.” I didn’t want to make Salma uncomfortable by having Zach there. Even though my family would be home, I was trying to be considerate. 

His green eyes dulled before he nodded dejectedly. I was about to say I’d just send him my essay, when Salma spoke up. 

“You can study with us. It’s fine. As long as your parents are home Yasmine.” 

“Are you sure?” She nodded, smiling reassuringly at Zach and I. Zach smiled gratefully at Salma, his eyes lighting up again. 

“OK let’s go then,” he said, clapping his hands and walking off. 

“Uh uh. Text Noah and make sure he’s home, if not come when he’s there,” I said, staring at him pointedly. 

“Fine, fine,” he said, pulling out his phone. We waited and after two minutes Noah replied that he was indeed at home. It must’ve been his day off...

We walked to my house, the whole way consisting of me lecturing Zach on his disorganization, telling him that if he needed my help he should’ve come sooner, and him just nodding his head along to everything I was saying. 

“Are you even listening to me?” I asked. 

“Yes Yasmine. What you’re saying is right and I have no excuse,” he said, keeping his eyes ahead. 

“So you’re pretty much just letting me rant?” 

“Pretty much,” he said, turning his head to give me a smile. 

“You’re awesome Zach.” If I could, I’d give him an approving tap on the shoulder. If that was Noah and I was ranting to him, he’d tell me to shutup before I had even uttered my first word. 

“I know,” he said, beaming at me. 

“Wow.” I turned around, my venting causing me to completely forget that Salma was walking alongside us. 

“What?” Zach and I asked simultaneously. 

“Nothing,” she said, shaking her head vigorously, as if we weren’t supposed to hear her say that. “I was just…appreciating um… a cute guy over there,” she said waving her hand in the direction behind her. Liar!   

I snorted at her lame excuse, whilst Zach looked behind him, probably to glare at said guy. Typical I thought. 

We finally arrived at home and since it was three in the afternoon mum was home from her shift, cooking in the kitchen. 

“Asalamu alaikum kiddos. How are we all today?” she spoke, simultaneously kissing Salma on the cheek and flipping a beef patty on the fry pan. That skill though…

“Good Alhamdulillah, although sleep deprived and stressed!” Salma replied, holding up all the books in her hand to prove her point.

My mum gave a soft laugh before stating that we were all smart children and would be fine. Let’s hope so, dear mother... 

“Can we sit outside and study? It’s less depressing,” Salma said, walking out of the kitchen. 

“Good point,” Zach said. I definitely agreed, so we all shuffled outside and dropped our heavy bags on the grass area. I heard a few grunts and looked to my side, realising Noah was working out in his mini ‘gym’. Now that would’ve been fine except he had his shirt off and was wearing nothing but shorts and his shoes.

Salma realised Noah was there and just as he looked up, their eyes met briefly before Salma blushed a deep scarlet red and almost fell as she attempted to turn her body away from him. Noah not expecting anyone to be here, let alone Salma, nearly dropped the dumbbell on his foot.

“Uh..umm, salams guys,” he mumbled, before swiftly picking up his shirt that was thrown over the treadmill, slipping it on hurriedly.

He cleared his throat, “So how are you guys…Salma hope everything’s good with you…” he trailed off. Me and Zach exchanged knowing glances, both of us attempting to stifle our laughter at the obviously awkward tension that was growing between these two. There was no doubt they were attracted to each other and I couldn't help but form a little plot in my head.

“Everything’s fine Alhamdulillah,” she squeaked, her eyes never leaving the floor. I saw my brother steal a glance at her before he looked down again. I snorted. Way to be discreet Noah. 

He glared at me and mumbled something about a shower before running inside, mentioning he’d be back to ‘supervise’ us.

“I think we both know who he’s going to ‘supervise’,” I whispered to Zach and we both laughed, whilst Salma went to sit on the grass.

“Let’s get started shall we?” she said, letting out a big breath of air.

****

“No imperialism is when countries conquer through more than one method, whilst colonialism is specifically through settling,” I explained to Zach for the fifth time.

“So I introduce it as imperialism, but my essay will be specifically on colonialism?” he asked, flipping the pencil in between his thumb and index finger.

“Yes,” I almost screamed happily. Finally the point had gotten across. He sighed and sat back rubbing his face tiredly.

“Finally,” Noah mumbled. “My ears would’ve begun bleeding if you had to repeat that one more time.” Salma giggled and then covered her mouth, directing her attention back to her book.

I saw Noah smirk to himself, probably happy that he had made her laugh. They were both so far gone…it was actually cute how embarrassed they were around each other and I had the urge to hug them both to me whilst squishing their cheeks.

“Why don’t you come do the essay then,” Zach snapped at him. Noah just laughed and said, “I really don’t miss exams.” I envied him sometimes, since this year he was finishing off his last semester and had completed most of his assessments.

We decided to take a break and watch a movie, deciding to go with Free Willy. I had only been sitting for about five minutes when my stomach began to hurt. No, scratch that, it felt like something was about to burst out of my ovary. I ran to the bathroom and groaned. Why? Couldn’t you have waited a week until exams were over? The joys of being a woman…

I walked downstairs and sat back down next to Salma a frown on my face.

“You got them didn’t you?” she asked, whilst shoving some popcorn in her mouth. I nodded and she got up and walked into the kitchen, emerging a few minutes later with a hot water bottle in her hand. She handed it to me discreetly, so Noah and Zach wouldn’t see and I quickly shoved it under my top, the warmth immediately soothing my stomach. 

“Thanks,” I said, getting comfortable and leaning my head on her shoulder. 

****

“Yasmine…are you…are you crying?” Zach asked incredulously. I nodded my head and wiped away a few stray tears.

“Over a whale?” he asked, slowly, as if I would explode any minute. 

I couldn’t help it. It was just so sad. The poor whale, captured and tortured. I let out a little sob and wiped away the tears. 

“Yes! Is that ok with you?” I replied, suddenly angrily.

“Woah.” He put his hands up in defence. 

“You’re not normal,” Noah said. Salma had left to go home so I was left alone with these two idiots. 

“Shutup Noah!” I yelled, picking up a pillow and launching it at his face. He promptly caught it before throwing it back at me.

“I swear you’re bipolar or something.” Too emotionally unstable to reply, I just sat back, wiped away the rest of my tears and crossed my arms angrily. From my peripheral vision I saw Zach lean over and whisper something to Noah. Understanding registered on Noah’s face before he sat back awkwardly, staring at the T.V. 

“Do you want hot chocolate?” Noah offered. 

“No you idiot.’’ 

Zach burst out laughing. I was sure Noah was not expecting that response but he should know better than to suck up to me.

“Zach, can you get me ice cream please. In the freezer,” I asked, sweetly.

“No worries. Just don’t kill Noah while I’m gone. Despite what I say, I actually like him,” Zach joked while walking off. 

“Bipolar.” I heard Noah mumble again before shaking his head. 

Exam week was going to be a long week, I thought  

****

A/N

Salam my lovely readers. So even though it is my exam period atm I managed to write a chapter. I was starting to stress and not wanting to have another breakdown I decided to write my stress away.

Please let me know what you guys think! Vote AND comment! It would mean the world to me...

Stay awesome!

Booohh ♥

Definitions:

Alhamdulillah: All praise is due to Allah

InshAllah: If Allah wills

Asalamu alaikum: Peace and blessings be upon you (long version of salam)

Allah: God