"What if I fall? Oh, my darling, what if you fly?" - Anonymous
Dedicated to @DaniyahA for making me the cover! Do you guys like it?
~ Video on the side of what dabke is, incase some of you are unfamiliar with it.
Chapter 25 - Confirmed.
Yasmine's POV
Since I could not, for the life of me, pull my eyes away from the back of my retreating best friend, I saw the exact moment when Noah grabbed Zach violently and pulled him away. Judging from the furious look on Noah's face, I knew things wouldn't end well for him. I shoved the ice-cream cone I was holding into Salma's hand and dismissed her confused face, as I hurriedly made my way towards them. After being shoved and pushed numerous times, I rounded a corner and quickened my steps.
I watched as my enraged brother shoved Zach against the wall and then held him there firmly, grasping his collar and encasing him with his body.
Zach, no doubt, looked winded, and when he tried to tell Noah to calm down, he slammed him against the wall again - roughly. A bit of my heart crumbled as I witnessed Zach's confused and pained face, even though he tried to hide it.
"No! I'll ask you again - what happened between you and Yasmine?" Noah spoke, now with an eerily low and calm voice, but anyone with a functioning brain could recognise the threat woven into his words.
I wish I could say I don't know what's gotten into Noah - but I do. I was stupid enough to tell him what happened the night I ran to Zach's. I didn't want to! However, I had a brother who was more persistent than Mrs Bennet herself, and so, after a few days of managing to avoid his interrogating questions, I had spewed one sentence - 'Zach and I had a fight.' We didn't really fight, per se, but I didn't know what else to call it.
Immediately, I knew I had made a big mistake as I watched his face morph from calm and worried, to straight up livid. When he pushed me for the full story, I, of course, didn't tell him. If he had gotten angry at that one sentence, imagine his reaction after I told him everything. He began going on and on - that my behaviour at home was dramatic, I was being depressed for no reason and that both Zach and I were two, very reckless teenagers. He concluded with an angry statement that we were never to see each other again.
And apparently, I was being dramatic. I knew Noah was worried about me, but not only that, he was sick of my glum and pessimistic attitude at home, which is why he's acting out.
I was still shocked at his behaviour, however. He had never resorted to this kind of anger before, usually, he was a quiet brooder.
"Noah, please let go of him." At my voice, both boys whipped their heads towards me, Noah with a look of exasperation and Zach, although I couldn't exactly decipher his emotions upon seeing me, I thought I saw longing and regret flicker through his eyes.
"This is between me and Zach. Go." I could tell Noah was trying to restrain himself from putting every ounce of anger he felt into that last word, but I held my ground firmly.
"So what huh...you're going to punch him? Make him bleed? Then what?" I asked, putting my hands on my hips, whilst trying to maintain a strong demeanour. It was very hard, what with Zach standing only a metre away from me.
The sad part was, that I wasn't even angry at him. I couldn't force him to love me. I guess I had mislead myself and now, I was dealing with the consequences.
"Yasmine, I could not be more serious right now. Leave." He was still pinning Zach to the wall, but now his fiery eyes were directed at me.
"No," I voiced, loud and clear.
We stood, staring unrelentingly into each others eyes. Eventually, Noah turned back around to face Zach, without saying a word to me.
"As much as I want to pummel you Zach, you're a good friend, so I'm going to give you the option of giving me an explanation....especially since Yasmine gave me none."
"OK," Zach nodded, wincing in pain. "But I would really appreciate you moving off my broken hand now." As my brother reluctantly let go of Zach, his right hand came into view. It was only then I realised it and looking back up at Zach's face, it was no wonder he had beads of sweat dripping down the side of his head, his eyebrows still furrowed from the pain.
"Are you OK?" I asked, suddenly worried as I heard him suck in a sharp breath. He was holding his wrist and attempting to massage it under the white bandage.
"Just fine," he rasped, gritting his teeth. I turned to glare accusingly at Noah and he just shrugged in response. Asswipe.
"I'll explain everything Noah. But...without Yasmine here." His face was turned away from me, but I could still see the side of his head, as he clenched and unclenched his jaw. He spoke as if I wasn't even there. Hurt and a hint of betrayal flowed through my body. I wanted to slap him. I wanted to yell at him. But most of all, I wanted to curl up in the nearest corner and cry my heart out.
"W-what. Why?" I tried so hard to keep my voice steady. I couldn't help but think he wanted to speak to Noah alone, just so he didn't have to face me and reiterate his lack of feelings for me.
"Just...please Yasmine." Without looking at him or Noah again, I turned around and stomped off, my eyes filled with watery tears and my heart beating, fuelled by heartbreak and sorrow.
****
My glum mood must have heightened exponentially, because apparently I was now affecting the people around me. As a result, Salma, Shaymah and Miriam managed to rent out the pool at one of our four-star hotels. It was to be a girls day, with not only us, but a few other girls from uni who we were good friends with. Bahia and my sisters were coming as well and although I thought it a bit much, I appreciated the effort my friends were putting in to cheer me up. I really felt that I didn't deserve it.
And after all the planning, booking and inviting, I couldn't exactly refuse them. So here I was, standing in front of my cupboard and trying to find my old swimming shorts that I hadn't worn in forever. I packed all the necessary items, a towel, change of clothes, water bottle and sunscreen. After checking that my sisters were ready, we all shuffled out the door. Mum would follow us after Adam woke up and she had done a bit of grocery shopping.
We walked on in the heat and I was glad the weather was at least fit for the outing. My sisters chirped excitedly next to me and I tried really hard to match their vigour, but to no avail.
My sisters both looked amazing in their matching hijabs, but if it was hard to differentiate between them before, now, it was almost impossible. Without their scarf on, I usually pinpointed who was who, by looking at their hair. Oh, the irony.
Relieved, we finally walked into the air-conditioned entrance of the hotel. In our suburb, most things were within walking distance but all it took was a second under the sun, and you'd be fried.
I walked straight towards the pool area and saw that a staff member was standing guard there, probably to make sure that no men could enter. After giving her my name, she opened the door and let us through, back into the heat. Since the pool was located in an open area, they had pulled down sheets of green plastic so no one could see inside. Umbrellas were hanging open from in-between tables with food, bags and shoes were scattered around the area.
"Yasmine!" Shaymah yelled enthusiastically from the opposite end, just on the edge of the pool, before she was violently pushed into the pool by Miriam. I let out a small laugh at her twisted facial expression and then moved off to set my bag down.
"Yasmine!" At my name being called again, I turned around and was met with Bahia's bright smile. I wrapped her in a hug immediately and smiled into her shoulder.
"Mabrook! I heard the great news!" When she pulled back, her happiness was almost tangible.
"Allah yi barek fiki! Can you believe it though?! Me! A mum!" She laughed, her short black hair bouncing around her face. She had a certain glow to her - maybe it was that pregnancy glow everyone spoke about, but there certainly seemed to be light emanating from her.
"I can very well believe it. I know you're going to make an amazing mother, insha'Allah!" I poked her belly and chuckled when she swatted my hand away.
"You won't be flat for much longer!" I taunted.
"I'm happy with that!" She said, seemingly trying to convince herself more-so than me. After catching up with her for a few minutes, I soon realised there were now at least fifteen girls here. I also realised I was the only one who still hadn't changed and since I was burning hot anyway, I moved off and immediately pulled off my skirt and cardigan, revealing my shorts and simple tank top.
I heard a whistle from behind me. "Damn, hottie with a body!"
"Look who it is!" I voiced, trying to shield my delight at seeing her.
"Yep, you know it baby," she winked.
"Stop trying to sweet talk me, it won't work," I joked, before attacking her with a hug. "I missed you Bayan!"
"Missed you too love!" She spoke to me as I continued to peel my scarf off and pack my clothes, until finally I was ready to take a dip. I left my long curls out and took off my shoes, walking to the edge of the pool. I dipped my feet in first and sat like that for a while. It seemed like I needed at least half an hour with every girl here, just to have a genuine catch-up conversation with them. It was sad how life in general, sometimes pulled us away from our oldest and dearest friends.
So two hours later, I found myself sitting in the same spot, untouched by the water.
"Yasmine, get in you wimp! You can talk in the pool!" Salma yelled, sprouting water from her mouth. She had elf ears and I tried not to laugh at the sight, but I couldn't help it. "I know what you're smiling at. Stop it," she grumbled.
I stood up, readying myself to finally jump in. I bent down to pull my shorts down, since they had ridden up my leg, when suddenly I felt a hand on my back and before I knew it, I was falling headfirst into the water. I shrieked and flung my hands out like a bird, which didn't exactly help, since a second later my body slapped against the water. Since I was at the deeper end, I used my body to swim back up and I took a deep breath once my head was above the water again.
"Miriam!" I breathed angrily. "I'm going to kill you! I wasn't mentally, emotionally and psychologically prepared for that!" The girls around me all laughed at my outburst. Using my strong arms, I pushed myself out of the pool and went straight for Miriam. "Let's see how you like being pushed in for once."
"Oh, shit," she mumbled, before turning around and running. I ran after her and since I was faster, within seconds I had jumped on her back.
"You can't escape me!" I said, with an evil laugh.
"I'm sorry," she giggled.
"Too late for apologies." I got off her back and promptly pushed her into the pool with both my hands. She fell in, the exact same way I had and I laughed mercilessly, crossing my hands over my chest. As her head came back up, I smirked down at her and then dived in, making sure to spray her with water.
And that's how the day proceeded. Swimming, tanning, talking, eating...my mood had drastically changed since the morning and for that, I realised I owed my friends so much. It has been a dull week since Eid and I felt like I hadn't laughed or smiled genuinely in a long time.
At one point, the girls brought in a speaker and attached it to a power point. I don't know where they got it from but minutes later, Arabic dance music filled the air. Since I was too tired from the swimming, I didn't join in on their silly dancing but once it got to dabke, I was forcefully pulled up, as I was every time. And so I led the dance, allowing the adrenaline to pump my legs as I moved in rhythm with the beat.
Even the mothers joined in on our childish behaviour and all in all, I found myself lighthearted and at peace at the end of the day. I hugged the girls and thanked them with all my heart.
"Thanks so much girls. You honestly don't know how much I needed this." I decided I would show my gratitude by doing something creative for them in return. What, I didn't know, but I would figure something out.
****
I walked out of the shower whilst drying my tangled hair. Sometimes, I really had the urge to chop it all off. I continued to manically rub at it with my towel, when I accidentally bumped into someone.
"Finally. I've been waiting a full thirty minutes for you to finish." I looked up to find Noah's chest right in front of me. "What do girls do in there," he asked, scowling.
"Please. By the time you emerge from your showers, I've aged ten years." He snorted. "Appealing." When he didn't move I gestured for him to enter. "Well, you can go in now."
"I don't need the toilet, I want to talk to you." He had a neutral expression on his face, so I couldn't tell whether this was going to be good or bad.
"About?"
"Come into your room." He walked in and I followed behind him. I picked up my brush and began to untangle the knots in my hair, remaining silent, as I waited for him to begin.
"You look like Meduca when your hair is wet," he quipped. I turned to glare at him dryly.
"I do not look like I have snakes emerging from my head, thank you very much."
"Seriously though, cut it all off. You already loose enough brain cells on a day to day basis." He smirked at my annoyed expression.
"I see," I said. "You don't actually want to talk to me, you're just bored and so I'm your chosen victim."
He chuckled and shook his head. "Nah, I actually need to speak with you."
"Well go on...the night isn't that young." He narrowed his eyes at me, before clearing his throat and sitting straighter.
"Firstly, I just want you to know, that Zach told me everything that happened between you guys. This is probably slightly awkward for you, which is why I haven't mentioned anything before. I'm sorry for going all psycho, macho, big brother but it had to be done. I've got my answers now..." I nodded and urged him to continue. "Anyway...I know you don't talk to Zach anymore and that you're no longer in touch..." he trailed off. His eyes met mine, as if to check if I was OK. I managed to regulate my breathing as well as my heart and once again nodded for him to go on.
"Yes and?"
"Well he's fine, just incase you're wondering but..." He scratched the back of his neck and he was making me nervous now, what with his dramatic pauses. "He's made the decision and he's going to Sweden to study."
"Oh." That was the only word I could manage at the moment. Even though Zach had told me himself he wanted to go overseas, now that Noah had confirmed it for me, it was another blow to my weakened state. "Well, I hope he finds what he's looking for," I said after a few minutes of collecting my thoughts. I grabbed my wet towel and moved off towards the door, so I could chuck it in the laundry basket. I was really just trying to get away from Noah, so he couldn't see how upset I was.
"I'm not done." His voice halted my steps and I sighed sadly, as I turned around.
"What else?" He lifted himself off my bed and came to stand in front of me. His height forced me to tilt my head upwards and I only then noticed the bags under my brothers eyes.
"We're going to Jerusalem."
****
A/N
I'm sorry if this chapter isn't upto standard...I've had major writers block. Next chapter will be very eventful, I promise! If the ending confused you, well, it was supposed to. lol.
Lack of comments and votes have also been quite demotivating, so come on guys, work on that for me!
❤
Definitions:
Mabrook: Congratulations
Allah yi barek fiki: May Allah [swt] bless you
Insha'Allah: If God wills.