I huffed. It wasn't because I was out of breath after a long jog. My phone decided to be stupid and take three hours to download an app. It didn't actually take three hours, it was more like three minutes.

If only I didn't hate people in the real world. 

My ass was just a little impatient because this was a special app. It wasn't an app that was all "come date this person!". No, this app was for girls who had a little junk in the trunk and in the front to show themselves off. Plus, it allowed those girls to talk to those who appreciated them and their body type. 

"You've been staring at your phone like a hawk." My mother said with a calm voice with an annoyed undertone. You know, the normal mom voice.

Resentfully,  I scooted my eyes off of the shaking phone in my hand and onto my mom and her long bouncy blonde hair. They toppled over themselves when she looked at me with a crooked head. Her hair went well with her eyes, which happened to be one of the things that connected us. We both had hazel eyes.

"I'm waiting for a text from a really hot guy mom. Please understand."I said in a mocking tone with my hand up in the air. She knew that was a total lie, she knew I hated people.   

"Just don't send a picture of you staring at your phone like some freak." She winked. We both snickered before I went back to phone.

After my dad and her got divorced, we started talking that way to each other. Maybe it was because the weight of him left her shoulders and she could be free. But I didn't mind.

It's kind of nice being able to talk the way that you want to home. At school, that's a total no no for me.

Let's face it, every school has its bullies and assholes. The way I see it, they feast on the ones that they see. I'm not going to lie, it's hard to not see me. But after vowing to having a low profile and barely interaction with people, I'm all good.

In matter of the fact, a good example was the other day.

I was walking though it feels like I look like I waddle, when a boy and a few friends were rushing past me. My smart, intelligent self thought it was a great idea to stay to the side. It was a good idea, but for some reason the world hated me.

His shoulder was long enough to nudge me and strong enough to take my heavy set body down. I remember the coolness of the marbled floor against my already burning cheeks.

Though I was expecting his floppy auburn hair to make waves in the air while he looked at me, they didn't. He didn't even turn around or any of the guys that were near him. What really shocked me was that, with my big butt in the air and my shit all around me, there weren't any laughter.

I was invisible. All of my time of avoiding and barely talking and overly sized to shirts finally did it. I achieved my goal of being the invisible girl.

It was nice because I hated the people I went to school with.

Though it was nice, the human species are considered a social animal. Plus after no one talking to me at school, I wanted to talk to at least one person that I didn't have to fluff up my shirt to make sure it didn't try to hug my curves.

"Oh god." Mom whined and popping me out my happy memory. Her head turned to the window that sat on her left.

"What?" My neck craned out to see out of the window. My eyes barely got to see what was out of there because  my mom's butt was in the way.

"Neighbors." She spoke sharply. "And gasp!" Mom said out loudly instead of actually doing the gasping part. "They have a teenage son!"

Dear God. Kill me.

My footsteps moved fast against the wooden floor to our big window. I didn't care about my mom's need to be nosey and nearly toppled her over. It was one of the perks of being bigger, you moved things.

She was right. The house that sat dormant across from us for the past three years had been taken. No longer did I get to stare at a creepy house and imagine going ghost hunting in it. Well I could but it would be hard with a family in it.

Now, I'm not a creeper by any means. I don't usually look at what my neighbors are doing. I didn't want to, I didn't care about the Satanists next door or the old swingers on the other side. And I the last thing I wanted to do was to worry about some other family.  But I couldn't help but to look at the movers. The way that a pudgy man with red cheeks moved a box on his gut and a girl with red curls carrying what she can with her long nails caught a little interest. The biggest thing that made me keep looking was the boy standing in the lawn.

Time seemed as if it had slowed down as his dark gaze went from the dry grass that he stood on to the window I stared through. His cheeks hallowed slowly from inhaling the cigarette in his plump lips. The smoke shot out into the air when he slightly tilt his head back. Him leaning back made a black stand of his hair to move across his head instead of staying in its formal slicked back way.

"You are to stay the hell away from that kid." My mom said but I just ignored her as usual. But she didn't have to say that. It wasn't like I was going to go over there and hug him. He was too scary and attracted attention.

And for the first time, I felt like I attracted attention.

His deep and dark  eyes bore into mine. He didn't move except for his hand to inhale more of the sweet nicotine. But every time he did, I got a better look at the shamrock on the inside of his wrist. He made me feel uneasy, like I was being challenged to look away. But I didn't. I kept looking even when he continued to look at me. 

The pudgy guy yelled something at him while nodding his head toward the door. Mr. Bad Boy continued to look at me for a few more seconds before throwing the cancer stick onto the ground. His black shoe was aggressive against the trash, twisting and turning harshly to make sure that there wasn't a way for the dead grass to catch fire.

Smart, but still dumb for smoking and something I didn't want to be apart of. 

He smiled at me and even gave me a small wave before going to the moving truck.

Now I say me because the Satanists were more night owls and wouldn't be out for a while. The swingers also didn't care about anyone else and their dark maroon curtains made sure that no one could see them and they couldn't see anyone.

It just left my mom and I and by the time he was done smoking, she was already in the kitchen. That just left me. Once Ms. Invisible.

                                                                    *************
My heart was pounding. Not because I saw the smoker again. But because I finally had time to open up the app that I had gotten hours ago. Mom was the kind that would snoop and if she knew I got an app called Cutesy then she would have flipped shit. Not because of the cute name, but because something with a name like that would cause trouble. 

A cartoon of a plus sized girl blowing a kiss popped up once the app opened. "Welcome to Cutesy!" She screamed over my music. I was thanking god for headphones at that moment. "Home and app of the largest group of big beautiful women and those who love them!"

There was a shaking in my hands. Something about getting attention from an app scared me. What if they don't like the pictures I post? They would bully me. I had a long streak of not being fun of and I didn't want to break it. 

I scrolled throughout the app. Women showing off their bodies from their larger tummies to their thick thighs and voluminous chests. Also men were on there. Some from sixteen  to sixty year old, all wanting one thing. Big beautiful women. 

 There weren't just pictures but also little captions, requesting things or just plain out complaining about something. Mostly, they were requesting. 

But one thing was certain. People were accepted. I would be accepted.

Something took over me. I slid out of my comfortably warm bed to the icy wooden floor that bit at my toes. The light pierced my eyes that were used to the darkness.

Slowly, I held up my phone to my face. The camera was on and ready to snap a shot. I thought I actually looked decent.

Hidden double chin? Double Check.

No blemishes? Check.

Hair down and looking somewhat normal? Check.

Body out of the shot? Check.

Exhaling the breath I held in, I posted the picture to the app. The app was nice enough to already give me a username, SilentBeauty. I couldn't help but to snicker at the name that they gave me. Happy with the picture and it being posted under SilentBeauty, my ass slid back into my warm bed. 

Thanks for reading xx