Will promised me he'd tell me if anything else happened to Matt.

"When we left he was awake, talking and just tired. Will reckons he'll be able to come home in the morning. But not back to work for 3 days." I smiled.

"Okay that's wonderful. I'm more concerned about you at the moment. Kelly told me about everything that happened, and the whole incident with the flat? Also you need to get Shay to clean up your hand please?" Chief sighed, looking at my hand carefully.

"Yep will do. I'm okay."

"Is that why your stood here crying still? It's been a rough day. You can sit this shift out Gabby?"

"No way. I'm ready. I can do it." I sighed.

"Right okay." He sighed. I just walked out and grabbed the first aid kit on the way. I sat in the common room opposite Shay and cleaned up my hand. It was like everyone was watching me. Like they doubted me. I tried my hardest to ignore everyone and carry on as normal.

"Are you sure your okay?" Shay smiled.

"Fine." I sighed, slamming the box shut of the first aid kit and getting up. Just as I went to go for a walk we got out a call. A man down from unknown causes in a pub. I sighed and got into the passenger side of the ambulance seen as I couldn't drive properly with 1 hand. We got there and I grabbed the bag and Shay bought the bed.

"Usual drunk routine." I sighed with a laugh. She rolled her eyes and laughed. We had become the best of friends. We hadn't told anyone but we'd gone to school together so we'd actually been best friends for 10 years ish? I loved her with my entire heart and we had each other's backs. We went through the pub until we found a guy laying on his stomach on the floor in a pool of his own blood and puke. I rolled him over and had to stop myself from being sick.

"Oh shit." Shay exclaimed as we looked around at everyone. His top was rolled up and he had some initials carved into his stomach. Like properly gouged into his skin. The smell was rancid. I knelt down and with Shay's help we had to pack his skin to stop the bleed, it didn't take long for the police to arrive. We got him into a stable condition and transported him to med.

"What the hell do you think happened?" I sighed.

"God knows. That was fucking disturbing." She laughed.

"Can we make a pit stop?" I smiled, she nodded and I went and found Casey's ward and went over to him and kissed him.

"Gabs?" He laughed.

"Oh hi Shay, Hi Casey." Shay laughed, rolling her eyes. Before going off to wait in the ambo.

"What are you doing here?"

"We had a call. So I thought before we headed back to the house I'd come see you. Anyway I've gotta run. Love you loads." I smiled, before chasing to catch up with Shay.

* * *

Matt had been out of hospital 2 days. I'd moved in with Shay and kept lying to myself. I told myself everything would be alright when really I'd had 3 break downs already. I dreaded leaving the house. My shifts had been getting too much. Shay was the only one who knew how to help me. I missed Mills more than anything. He hadn't answered any of my calls or anything.. Shay was helping me deal with it all though. Things were getting easier.

This shift had been the quietest we all had in ages. Kelly come in and smiled at me.

"How you feeling?" He smiled, handing me a plate of pancakes so we had 1 each.

"Better, I'm tired. How's Casey?"

"He was asleep when I left this morning." He laughed.

"Oh right okay." I smiled.

"I'm not surprised though." He laughed again.

"Woah what do you mean by that?" I raised a eyebrow.

"You 2 last night. Excuse me even I'm tired and I was in a different room." He punched my arm in a joking manner.

"Shut up Kelly." I rolled my eyes and carried on eating the breakfast he made for us both.

"So you 2 are back together then?"

"Well yeah but I have a question."

"Go ahead?"

"You told me to be careful dating Casey? What did you mean?" I smiled.

"He was engaged before you. He was happily engaged but then she died and well he was so distraught I don't think he's properly recovered. I'm just saying don't get upset when he pushes you away." He smiled. Just as I sat there silently thinking about everything the alarm went off and we were all called to a building fire.

I sighed and ran out to the ambo meeting Shay. We started driving, then Kelly text me.

'By the way Matt's in. He's back with truck 51 and he's working.'

"Oh for god sake. Matt's come back? He's back working?" I sighed.

"Seriously?" Shay looked at me for a second in shock.

"Oh yeah. He's back with truck apparently." I sighed.

I just put my phone in my jacket pocket as we pulled up to a large building fire. We jumped out and got sorted. Set up a stretcher by the side of the ambulance. Chief was pacing around watching the fire as everyone got kitted up. I ran over to Matt.

"No way." I sighed sternly.

"Excuse me?"

"Your not going in there."

"I am but if I'm in pain or anything I will come back out and you can rush me to med." He kissed me quickly and headed in with Kelly. They took Squad upstairs and began putting the fire out.

"Dawson. Shay there's 1 man casualty on the bottom floor, please get a board and bag in here." Cruz radioed. I looked at her and we grabbed the stuff and ran in. There was 1 male, not breathing on the floor. Shay started on compressions straight away. I got a line sorted and tried my hardest to get it in his arm but I was getting frustrated because I couldn't do it.

"Shay?"

"What's up?"

"Can you get this line in? I'll take over a compression?" She nodded and we switched sides. I took over compressions instantly. Then there was a almighty bang and the entire roof above us collapsed in. I just saw this metal frame swing down. Then bang. It hit. Smoke and dust everywhere. My ears were ringing, head banging. I coughed and spluttered and managed to get up.

"Oh my god." I cried out, as I crawled over to Shay, she was lifeless on the floor, blood pouring from her head. I checked and she had no pulse.

"I need some help please? It's shay." I shouted through my radio as I started compressions on her. I was crying, blood dripping down my face mixing with the tears, I was cut up from the falling rubble before I knew it Kelly came running in, him and the whole of Squad picked her up, I carried on doing compressions all the way to the back up ambulance. They took over and I jumped in with them. Carrying on with CPR and holding a pressure bandage on her head to stop the bleeding using my elbow.

*

Jay and April took over instantly when we arrived at the hospital.

"Any meds?"

"Nope."

"Right okay."

"She's lost about 3 pints of blood, I've done 6 rounds of CPR. She's been down for 12 minutes."

"Gabby." Chief said, putting his arm around me to stop me from going any further. I just burst into tears again and cried into his chest as he pulled me closer. The whole of firehouse 51 stood behind me painfully listening to me cry my heart out on the hospital ward. They took Shay off in the distance to somewhere where we didn't have to see what was happening. Casey come over as we sat down and just held my hand. I rested my head on my knees as I curled up. I was tired, angry, heart broken.

"Gabby?" A very familiar voice shouted.

"Mills?" I got up and ran to him. He picked me up and held me there tightly in his arms. I cried even more into his chest.

"I heard what happened. I am so sorry." We sat back down and I held his hand instead of Casey's. I saw Matt look at me and then Kelly.

*

"I am so sorry to be sitting here talking about this to you. But there was nothing to do. She lost a lot of blood, she had a major brain injury. We did all we could. I am so sorry." Will said quietly but sternly.

"Thank you so much for everything you and your team have done." The chief replied. Gabby broke down into tears. Literally a fit of tears and shaking. She had witnessed her best friend's death. Casey reached across and held her hand tightly. Kelly stood against the wall. Eyes closed, broke with the fact one of his closest friends had just died. Mills knelt in front of Gabby, unsure of what to say or do. The hospital waiting room was quiet with respect and heartbreak. Chief stood up and very sadly tried his best to show them it was okay.

"I know this is hard. We've just lost a amazing member of Firehouse 51. Shay was loved by many. It is heart-breaking to see her go but we need to carry on as normal. She would want us to hold our heads up high and do her proud. We will hold a funeral and remembrance for her straight away in the morning. Now get back to the firehouse until shift is over. We won't be taking anymore calls this shift but we need to be together."

*

We all got back to the firehouse and everyone sadly sat around in the common room. I went in and curled up against the wall on the floor in a ball and Casey came and sat next to me and held me on his lap in his arms while I stared off into the distance.