"Oh evening." I laughed as she woke up.

"Oh hello...how long have you been there?"

"Gabby I've literally just got back." I smiled, I pulled a chair over and sat in front of her, Kelly and Boden.

"What the hell happened to you?" She smiled. She couldn't even move because Adara was fast asleep.

"Oh we had a tough call. Basically a really young girl died. It reminded me of Ruby. I was devastated and I punched the truck a few times. I've messed up hands. My knuckles." I sighed.

*

"Oh Matt. For god sake." I sighed. "Get me a first aid kit out the kitchen." He got up and came back with it in his hands. He went to take Adara but I smiled and laid her on the blanket slightly more, she was soundo. I took the first aid kit on my lap and cleaned up the several cuts on his hands. He was in a terrible state. He was also beginning to cry. It broke my heart.

"Baby what's wrong?" I smiled.

"Sorry. Nothing. I'm okay.." He smiled.

*
She raised her eyebrows before looking away from me. She carried on cleaning up my hands before she smiled a little bit. Being this close to her made me notice all the small beautiful things about her. The way her brown eyes melted in hazel around the outside, the way she pressed her lips together carefully when she focused. How small her nose was. How that one bit of hair fell across her face, how every few seconds she would look down and smile at Adara. She had a perfect face and I couldn't help but smile as she finished up cleaning my hands. I smiled and sat back, putting the first aid kit on the table. She smiled and put her hand back on Adara's head.

"Is she still asleep?"

"Yep. She's been here for about 6 hours." She laughed.

"Why don't you wake her up now and make up a bottle?"

"Yeah might do."

*

I smiled and tapped her bum until she woke up. Matt smiled and moved back in his chair so I had some room. She woke up and was clearly scared because she couldn't see me or hear me so she started crying. I rubbed her back and bottom as I stood up and went over to the kitchen area. Everyone was sitting around just waiting as shift was nearly over. I kept her laying against my chest by my hand under her bum as I poured some milk powder and made up a milk bottle before putting it in the microwave. She wouldn't stop screaming.

"Need a hand?" Boden smiled as he appeared next to me.

"No I'm doing good thank you." I smiled, getting the bottle out and testing it against my hand before going back and sitting down. Flipping her over and laying her against my arm so she was sitting up and trying to feed her. She was constantly screaming and crying until I managed to get her to take the bottle.

"Finally." I smiled.

"You did it." Matt laughed as he was sat right in front of me. He got up and went off to his office. Kelly was fast asleep under the blanket on the sofa next to me. His hand was resting on my armchair still. I just finished feeding the entire bottle to her, she began crying again. I stood up and rubbed her back gently. She dribbled some milk up on her bib then hiccupped. She fell asleep straight after. I laid her back down in the carrier and cleaned up, putting the bottle back in the bag with her stuff. I went into Matt's office and he was laying on his bed, eye's shut. I opened the door quietly and went in, laying down next to him, face to face. He opened his eyes and smiled at me.

"You alright?" I smiled.

"So tired. I guess being able to lay in bed and not worrying about you for the first time is relaxing for me." He laughed.

"Well your shift finished 10 minutes ago? So do you want to go home and we can actually lay in our bed?" I smiled. We both got up and while he got all his stuff ready I went back into the common room, putting my coat on, chucking the bag over my shoulder and picking up the carrier. Matt come in and tried to take the bag and stuff but I smiled and refused to give him anything. He held the door open for me and I quietly said goodbye to everyone before we went outside and across the road to my car that Matt had been driving. I strapped in the carrier and put the bags in the front set. I sat in the back seat next to Adara.

"Where's Ruby?" I smiled.

"At home with your mum." Matt smiled in the mirror as he began driving. I sighed and closed my eyes. Resting my hand on the end of the carrier so Adara's foot was against my hand. Her little frilly socks beautifully placed above her baby grow. It was white and it had little pineapples on it. It didn't take long before we pulled up on the driveway.

"I've missed home." I smiled.

"Yeah well you've not been here for 4 months." He laughed. I smiled and got out the car, I took the bag and put it on my shoulder and got out the car, I took the carrier in my arms and my mum come to the door. We exchanged a quick smile before going in. I put the carrier down on the table and smiled as Adara was fast asleep. Ruby come downstairs.

"Mummy!!" She laughed.

"Hello! I've missed you." I hugged her, kissing her forehead.

"I've missed you too! Can I hold the baby yet?"

"Well if you go get changed, sit down nicely and wait with Nanna then yes you can hold Adara." I smiled, she ran up the stairs and I heard her go into her bedroom. Mum was sat down on the sofa talking to Matt. I bought the carrier out into the living room and sat in the armchair with Adara in my arms. Ruby come running down now changed. She sat next to Matt and mum.

"Oh Gabby she is beautiful." Mum smiled.

"She is! She's amazing." I smiled. "Right Rube's you need to sit still. Dad's going to help you hold her then when you feel ready you can hold her yourself." I smiled. I passed Adara to Matt and he put her in Ruby's arms. They both held her and Ruby had a massive grin on her face.

"How old is she mum?"

"3 months old today." I smiled.

"Why is she so small?"

"Remember what I told you where she was born earlier." I smiled.

"Oh yeah! Okay." Ruby smiled. Matt let go so she was holding her by herself now. Ruby kissed Adara on the forehead and told her she loved her little sister. Mum leant across and kissed my hand.

"I'm proud of you." She smiled.

"That's the first time you've ever said that." I wiped a tear away.

"I should of said it before because you have always made me so proud. Your beautiful and Matt loves you. I love you."

* * *

"Just hurry up Rube." I shouted.

"I don't want to go!"

"I don't really care. I don't want to go either but we have too. Your sister needs to go. You know we've got issues with Adara."

"But why!"

"Because your sister's been death since she was born and now she's 9 months old." I sighed. She went off and got dressed. Matt come into the bedroom and just hugged me.

"Please Gabby calm down. There's no need to shout at Ruby is there." He sighed.

"Matt you don't understand how stressed I am this morning. It's not even funny. We've both got work, Ruby's appointment. We can't even talk the kids to school because it's inset day. Of course Adara's babysitter cancelled again. We are literally going to have to take both kids to work." I sighed, as I began to cry.

"Yes but listen to me that's fine. It's all okay. The kids can come to work with us because it's okay. Boden has already said it's fine. Right we need to go otherwise we are going to be late for the appointment." He smiled, he kissed my forehead and we grabbed our kit bags before going out to the car, I strapped Adara in the car seat. She was only weighing in at 4 pounds at 9 months. She was still tiny. Ruby come out and got in the car still sulking. I sighed and got into the passenger seat. Matt locked up and come out. He smiled and began driving.

"Rube can you tap your sister's arm and see if she's okay." I smiled in the mirror. She just turned away from me and didn't do it.

"NO BECAUSE I HATE YOU." She shouted. Adara began crying. Matt gripped the steering wheel tight so it was clear he was angry.

"Ruby your 8 years old. Don't talk to me like this." I sighed, not even realising I was shouting as well.

"Yeah well I hate you. Your a bitch and I don't like you. Neither does Adara or dad. That's why the baby died!" I wasn't even sure what had just happened. I felt the tears begin to fall. Matt slammed down the brake and pulled over. He punched the steering wheel and turned round best as he could in his seat.

"DON'T YOU DARE EVER TALK LIKE THAT. YOU DON'T EVER MENTION THE CHILDREN WE LOST. DO YOU REMEMBER HOW HARD IT WAS FOR US BOTH? YOU EITHER SHUT UP OR I SUGGEST YOU GET YOUR STUFF READY BECAUSE YOU'LL BE STAYING WITH NANNY. I'M NOT HAVING YOU IN OUR HOUSE TALKING LIKE THAT. YOU'VE UPSET YOUR MUM." He shouted. It was really loud, like Matt got really riled up when he was angry. Like it was scary. I took a few deep breaths as he began driving. He was shaking with anger, myself shaking because my body was in some kind of trap full of anxiety and nerves. Ruby sat in the back seat crying. Adara had clearly fallen asleep again. I rested my head against the window and just cried. Matt couldn't even face me which broke my heart. I just kind of sat there for the whole hour drive. The tears had finally stopped but my face and under eyes were wet. I looked in the mirror and it was clear how broken I was. I wasn't looking forward to any of this.

*

I grabbed Ruby by the hand took her in the waiting room as we sat down. Gabby slowly walked over to the reception desk to book in. She was carrying Adara on her hip.

"Adara Dawson Casey." She sighed, she nodded and signed some paperwork before coming back to me and sitting on the floor in front of me with Adara on her lap because there was no seats left. The waiting room was absolutely rammed. Gabby wasn't looking so good either. Normally she always looked awake, alive, beautiful but today she had blotchy skin, tearful puffy eyes, her lips trying hard to press together but both were quivering. The whites of her eyes stinging red. It was hard. She was biting the skin around her nails when I leant down and held her hand. She smiled at me a little bit when Adara began crying. She picked her up and slowly walked over to the open window. We were the youngest people in here.

"Why's mummy crying?" Ruby sighed.

"Because of what you said to her. I suggest you apologise and go give her a hug. I just think things might be easier if you both can get on." I smiled, with that Rube was up and went over to them.

*

"Mummy?" She smiled as I turned round. She just hugged me. I stood there, my free arm around her as best as I could get. Matt was sat there still a smile on his face. She kissed my cheek then went back over to him. We went back over as well. We sat on the floor again. I rested my head on Matt's knee.

*

6 hours after arriving we were finally called to our appointment. Gabby was shattered by this point. Ruby and myself sat in the 2 chairs to the side so we were out of the way. Gabby held Adara on her lap as she sat on the chair in front of the desk.

"Good afternoon Gabby." The doctor smiled.

"Afternoon. So today's the day?" She smiled.

"Oh yeah. Well today is the big day. We are going to try grommets but if they don't work then surgery." She sighed.

"Okay let's get started. If you all follow me." We all got up again and went through to a actual room with equipment and a bed. We sat Adara on the bed in the special chair so she could sit up. Ruby stood at the door with us. Gabby took a seat down next to the bed and held Adara's hand.

*

"So we are going to start with placing these grommets in her ears but it's really going to hurt? She's probably going to cry but try and comfort her as best as possible. Hold her hands, play with the teddy bear with her but just keep her as calm as possible for me." She smiled. I held the teddy bear in front of her, held her hand and smiled. She began to cry when the nurse began to insert the grommets. I grabbed both her hands and held them to try and calm her down.

"I love you." I smiled. She wasn't having none of it. Screaming. Ruby come over, she held Adara's hand and smiled at her. She stopped crying and focused on Ruby's face. She had tearful eyes but she wasn't crying. I smiled at Matt and held them both in my arms. Then finally the nurse was done. Everyone was silent. She smiled at me. I picked up Adara.

"Hiya darling. Oh my god." I laughed. Adara smiled and looked right up at me. "Oh my. Matt look she can hear us." I laughed, I was super tearful as well. She was all smiles but she looked absolutely terrified. Suddenly she'd gone from hearing nothing to hearing every thing all at once. We had a quick check up before we were allowed to go. We went out to the waiting room and I hugged Matt. I took Adara on my hip and held Ruby's hand with my free hand as we walked out the car.

*

I walked behind the 3 of them out to the car and well I mean they looked perfect. Gabby was carrying Adara on the right and holding Ruby on the left. She was talking away to both girls laughing away. I unlocked the car and it all happened so quick. 2 men come over to her and grabbed her round the neck, Ruby took Adara in her arms. I ran ahead to them and got pushed away by the other man. She was screaming and crying. I ushered Ruby and Adara into the car. When I looked back, he was holding her against his chest by having his arm around her neck, the other hand holding a gun pointed at me.

"What do you even want from us?" I was terrified.

"Matt just shut up. Stop talking." She called, she was crying and absolutely terrified.

"No? Gabby this isn't right."

"Just shut up. If you don't stop talking I will shoot you both." He shouted. I tried to reach for my phone but I couldn't because his finger began to squeeze the trigger. Clearly it had been spotted on CCTV because someone called the police. There was a load of sirens and lights as Hank's team pulled up. I didn't move in case I got shot but before I could do anything else. He shot Gabby and ran off. All I saw was her fall to the floor, blood shooting out of her neck. I ran to her, kneeling on the cold floor. She was in a puddle of her own blood. Jay and a few others ran over to the man and tackled him. Hank and Erin ran to me. I was holding my hands down on the wound on her neck. Her eyes were rolling and she was shaking.

"Come on Gabby. We're waiting on a bed." I smiled. My tears falling from my cheeks and diluting the blood all over her.

"Matt do you want to know something? I love you." She coughed out, she was choking slowly, she raised her hand gently up and stroked my face leaving a trail of blood. She rested her head against my knee and her hand laid gently across my cheek.

"Come on Gabs. You need to do this. Your better than this. Come on baby." I began crying harder. My hands practically in her neck. I was pinching a artery with my index finger and thumb to stop her from bleeding out. Boden pulled up with Kelly and they ran over.

"We're not waiting for a bed. Let's go." Boden shouted, we all picked her up. I didn't move my hands from her neck. We carried her in and found a bed. The emergency team come running out and took her straight to surgery. Hank took the kids to the station for me. Jay come in and sat with me, Boden and Kelly. I was a mess, shaking, crying. I blamed myself so much.

"She's not going to make it." I sighed.

"Don't say that." Kelly smiled.

"Kel. We've both done a first aid course. She was shot in the neck. It hit every possible artery including her jugular. The only reason she was alive was because I was pinching the artery in her neck. So please Kelly don't be stupid. She's going to die. There is no way she can be saved right now." I sighed. I was shaking and just crying.