"Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Ruby. Happy birthday to you." All 4 of us sang as Ruby blew out her candles. She hugged everyone and laughed away with Matt.

"I can't believe it." I smiled.

"She's 4 already." He smiled.

"Mummy, Daddy I can hear you. I'm not old!" She laughed running over to us and jumping on us both. I picked her up and pulled funny faces with her. Matt started taking photos of us both and laughed. Then we got dressed and ready for work and I was prepared to take her to nursery this morning. She wore a little pink dress and black tights and a white cardigan. I put her stuff in the bag and chucked it over my shoulder as we both 1 of her hands and walked down the road. We let her jump and skip in the air and have a laugh between us both before we took her inside.

"See you tonight birthday girl." I smiled, kissing her.

"See you later mummy and daddy." She smiled hugging us both before going inside, literally skipping inside. I took Matt's hand as we headed to the firehouse. I kissed Matt and let go of his hand before we went in.

"Alright guys." Chief smiled.

"Good." I smiled going into the changing rooms and putting my stuff into the locker. I heard footsteps and smiled as Matt come in. I was shaking.

"Gabby? It's okay..." He smiled.

"Yeah I know. Sorry. Got a bit nervous." I smiled not making eye contact.

"He's not going to get you in here I promise." He kissed my head before walking out again. I went out after him and sat on the sofa next to Herman. Everyone just seemed so off. I just went on my phone and had a text from a random number.

'You can lie all you want. You don't have to tell him but if you don't then I will.' I just took away the message screen and watched the Tele instead but I couldn't focus at all. I just sat there staring into space when we got a call.

"Gabby your on truck with me." Matt smiled. I nodded and followed them all. I went and jumped onto truck with everyone and it was so scary being back at work.

"I can't believe this is your first day back in 3 years."

"I know. I'm sorry it took 3 years until I could work."

"It's okay. How comes you took 3 years?"

"I suffered some after birth complications really late, like 8 months after birth and I was really ill." I smiled. Mouch nodded and smiled and then we went to deal with this call. It was a empty house fire. Suspected arson and as soon as we got there and got our brief I walked off to the side and had a complete break down. Just the word arson made my skin crawl. I was sick on the floor. Chief come running over and rubbed my back while I was sick. The others began taking out the fire and rescuing people while I sat in truck and sobbed. Chief knelt in front of me and held my hands. 

"Are you okay?" He smiled. 

"Not really. I'm sorry. I 'm not sure I'm ready for work again." I sighed I squeezed his hand and took a few deep breaths to get through my panic attack. He held me through it and then Matt come on truck and hugged me. 

"Please leave me alone." I sighed as I pushed him away without even thinking. 

"Gabby?" He smiled. I just waited and eventually he actually left. I managed my way out and back to the scene and grabbed my hat and put it back on and looked around before masking up and going in with them all. I just focused on breaking doors down and checking for people. I saw Matt and the others focusing on putting out the fires. We finished up after a while we all headed back out and Kelly come over to me and helped me as I threw up again. 

"I think perhaps we should get you to med to check you out for smoke inhalation and stuff?" He smiled. 

"Yeah I'll get Brett to drop me off. I'll see you in a bit." I smiled, I took my stuff and Brett dropped me off at med. I was sat there dirty, smoky and in my kit still and my helmet on my lap. A man come and sat with me.

"Your a fire fighter?" He smiled. 

"Yeah I am." I smiled slightly. 

"How long have you been 1 for?"

"About 10 years now." I smiled. 

"Wow you don't look old enough."

"I started it at age 16 though." 

"Oh your 26. Well then. I see your married as well." 

"Yeah I am. I've been married for a few years. Got a 4 year old daughter as well." I smiled. 

"Oh wow you are lucky. Got anymore children?"

"No.." I smiled then Will called me. I got up and headed into his room. Chucked my helmet down in the corner and laid on the bed. 

"Gabby." 

"So basically I've been throwing up and it's whenever we go to deal with a fire. I think it's a panic disorder, like anxiety disorder and it's all kicking off. Kelly insisted I come see you and get some medication but I want you to give me a check over because I have to take my physical examination in a few hours." 

"We'll give some blood tests and stuff like that and see the results and check if its a medical condition." He smiled. I sat there eyes shut while he took blood and different tests. I felt sick again so he gave me a bowl and waited while I completely threw up. I was admitted while I waited for 2 hours. Heart rate and blood pressure being taken. Then Will come in. 

"I have your results."

"Okay well I'm going to go then."

"Gabby?"

"I need to go."

"Gabby! You already know don't you?"

"I need to go. I have my exam."

"Your pregnant."

"I know I am. I'm not sure I'm ready to be. Am I prepared for another child?"

"Discuss it with Matt."

"Not yet." I sighed, I unattatched myself from every machine and then walked out of the hospital with my stuff. I got back just in time as the examiners arrived. I was getting myself prepared, putting my hair up, I washed my face and stood there in the horrible trousers and the dungaree straps over the same grey top from earlier. I went into the common room and Chief introduced me to them all. 

*

We all went out onto the foreground to watch her. She stood at the start line and she looked tired, well ill. The whistle went and she started her laps around the firehouse. She had to see how fast she could run 25 laps of the entire grounds. We all stood there talking for a little while before she finished up. 

"22 minutes. 35 seconds. Well done." She moved onto the building fire and I watched her climb the ladder, rescue the casualty and then begin the first aid training on the victim. Overall it took 3 hours and she actually passed with 50/50 points. She did it so well. I kissed her head lightly but she pushed me away and walked off to have a shower. 

*

I passed earlier and we all headed back to the apartment tired and fed up. I went to the school and picked up Ruby. She was quite poorly apparently. She was sweating, rashes, sleepy, like she could hardly walk herself. I carried her back to the apartment.

"What's wrong?"

"Look she's so ill." I was nearly crying as I laid her down on her bed in the room we made into her room. She laid on the bed crying and fidgeting around a lot. I felt upset watching her. Matt went out and made a phone call. Kelly come in and tried to help me comfort Ruby.  Matt come back and helped me lift her up and carry her out to the ambulance. We were rushed to Med as a priority case. Like something was definitely wrong. Anna took her case on straight away and took her the children's ICU ward.

"When did these symptoms start?" She smiled.

"Well she was hot and had a sick feeling earlier this morning so about 12 hours ago I'd say but she seemed okay. That's why I took her to school."

After 4 hours of tests and god knows what else stuff. Will come out with us to sit in the ICU waiting room and Matt squeezed my hand but I pushed his arm away and just held the bottom of my grey top making me realise I was still wearing my work clothes and I didn't realise until now. Like when Will composed himself and flicked through the paperwork he had a devastated look on his face.

"Gabby, Matt Ruby is suffering from lung cancer."

"Cancer?"

"Yes.."

"Oh my god." I began to cry into my own hands as Matt got up and punched the wall. Will didn't even know what to say.