The worst part about losing someone is you can't face going back to that one place. It all gets to much for you. It had been devastation after devastation. Kelly moved away for good. I wasn't pregnant. That was all 2 years ago.

Now we had a stroppy 7 year old to deal with and a baby on the way. We had moved out the apartment into a actual house. I was back on ambo with Brett. Capp had taken over Squad 3. Matt was captain still but hadn't been living with us.. He had told us he needed a little break. Family life was getting too much for him. Even knowing I was 2 months pregnant was getting to much for him.

24th March.

Hopefully today would be different. It would be a nice day today. Work would be calm and relaxed and everyone would be okay. I loved working with Brett again. Our house was always so quiet it was horrible at night. Even worse during the day when Ruby was at work and I was sat there alone. I'm 30 now. Matt 31 in 2 days. Don't get me wrong. I miss him. I miss spending everyday with him but we found working alongside each other was getting to much. It would cause arguments at home and work. I mean I think we were still together but we hardly spoke. Ruby knew something was wrong as well.

*

I showered and went into my bedroom. Ruby was laying on my bed watching Tv. I got changed into work slacks and packed my bag. She smiled at me when she saw me packing.

"Where are we going?"

"I'm going to work. Nanna is coming to look after you." I smiled.

"But I want to go with you."

"You know you can't because mummy's job is dangerous. Remember I am a firefighter paramedic." I tickled her as her laugh echoed through the house.

"Anyone home?" Mum shouted. Ruby ran down and saw her while I finished up. I took everything downstairs and hugged her.

"Thank you for looking after her. Boden thinks I'll be about 3 days? Shouldn't be much longer but I promise I'll look after myself and baby." I smiled.

"Yes please be careful sweetie. I know you want to do this to get that course but it's dangerous." She kissed my cheek before I went out to the car and drove to the station. I was greeted by Brett. We were both in casual clothes with our bags as we went into the common room.

"I'm so nervous.." I smiled.

"Yes same.." She laughed as we sat down at the table. Matt come in and walked over to the kitchen counter. When I caught a glimpse of his face he looked tired, upset or perhaps broken? I smiled before going over to him. He handed me a cup of tea which I put down on the side before intertwining my fingers with his.

"Talk to me." I whispered resting my head against his shoulder.

"Be careful out there. I'm scared. I can't lose another baby and I really can't lose you." He wiped a tear away before gently pressing his lips against mine.

"Matt I promise I'll be fine. You know how much this means to me. Okay?" I smiled. I went back to Brett, grabbed my bag and went off to the car out front and off we went to this location. We were met by a drill sergeant when we got there.

"This isn't the drill we wanted you to do. This is a real life emergency happening right now and actually you are the only 2 paramedics we have on here. So all your stuff is on that chopper. Jump on. Get changed on board. Do your magic when we get there." He smiled, we all got on and got changed. I didn't even feel uncomfortable. Apparently the main rule is we don't know what the scene is in case we get put off. I took a few deep breaths after putting a bullet proof vest and helmet on.

"Dawson have you done this before?"

"No why?"

"You got dressed with no help and you know what your doing?" The sergeant smiled.

"My ex is in CPD and he used to do undercovers all the time. I helped him get ready, I did the washing and stuff."

"Name?"

"Halstead, Jay." I sighed as we touched down. I jumped off and we had to hide behind the chopper because there was actually shooting happening.

"We are trying to give injured as much help as possible. There is a rather high value target in here okay that we need to rescue. There is a high chance of you getting shot so you need to be careful. Dawson I don't mind you being by yourself because your combat trained. Sylvie I want you escorted at all costs. Go Go Go." I put my helmet down, and carrying a back board, 2 first aid kits and a small surgery kit was wearing me out already but I made it to the point. Shaking with nerves. I had my eye on the HVT so I risked it and ran to him, ducking behind a bin for cover. I got to work with dressings and bandages. I caught sight of Brett and the others so I whistled and they ran over. I was trying to perform a lung decompress on him as they boarded him and carried him to the chopper. As we got there 4 out of the 6 of us were shot down. I checked for pulses but everyone was actually dead. We locked ourselves in the chopper and I carried on dealing with the HVT. Brett climbed into the front and began trying to fly the chopper but clearly we were shot at because there was this almight crash and literally everything around me burst into flames. Brett was screaming but the fire was on the outside and the underneath.

"Brett calm down and focus on getting us out of here." I smiled. Just as she tried to take off again someone literally got in through the door. I stood up and grabbed his arm, snapping his arm behind his back and kicking him in the stomach out the back doors. Finally we took off and Brett began smoothly flying.

"I've never been gladder to have a partner that actually has a degree in flying.." I laughed trying to calm myself down. I performed the small surgery on the HVT but the chopper was slowly blowing up and as it jolted I caught his artery which made blood spurt out everywhere, all over my face, in my hair, my hands and my clothes. I was covered. I used a bobby pin out of my hair to stop the bleeding.

"Brett how's it going? How close are we to the base?"

"We're not going to make it Gabby. Listen and oh my god. Gabby it's going down. I can't control it anymore." She began screaming. She tried to bring the chopper back up but it was going down. We were going down. All she could do was climb back into the back with me and literally hold me and the casualty against a wall to make sure no one was going to get too badly hurt hopefully.

"Come on." I sighed finishing up the surgery. The target was awake so I removed the cloth from his mouth so he could speak. We clearly hit the ground with a massive painful bump. It was terrifying. There was screaming and blood everywhere. It all happened so quickly. We could hear people shouting.

"Help! Help us." I shouted. After a little while some other soldiers actually managed to climb in and began trying to get us out. I tried to sit up but instead ending up screaming and holding my side. Literally my hands come back dripping in blood.

"I need some help. Please?" I whispered gripping Brett's arm.

"I can't do anything yet. My leg's stuck under a bit of metal. It won't be long until we are out and we can go to Med." She smiled, she moved slightly closer to me so I could rest my head on her lap. I was screaming and crying into her shirt because of this pain. There was a lot of noise and the metal bars being cut. I was lifted onto a back board with a metal pole still sticking through my side. Brett was being worked on as I was taken to a triage unit. Still on site to the camp. I was left by myself for a little while. I sat up as best as I could and removed the pole from my side with a scream. I grabbed a few dressings and held them against my side as I cried even more.

* * *

"I'm sorry we didn't contact you sooner Mr Casey." Was all I heard as I opened my eyes. I'd been fast asleep for a little while before I woke up and saw Matt sat at the edge of my bed. Ruby come in with a bottle of juice and a sandwich. I looked at the clock and the date and it had only been 12 hours since the injury. I looked next to me and smiled as Brett was sat on the edge of the bed waiting for me.

"When can I go home?" I smiled.

"Probably in a day or two." Matt smiled. Holding my hand. I looked down getting tearful. I held my stomach and looked at him.

"Matt..."

"Everything is fine. 2 months and 3 days." He kissed my cheek. "The pole missed it by about 6inches. You are both very lucky to be alive."