"She just cries all the time and I don't know what to do anymore." I sighed.

"What do you expect her to be like though Matt? Your both going through this tough time and instead of supporting each other your arguing and shouting and screaming at each other?"

"It's so hard to try and show love to her though. She's so withdrawn Chief. It's like she has forgotten I even exists. She's not herself anymore." I wiped a few tears away as I began to cry. Chief actually pulled me into a very unexpected hug and after we had a little chat about it all he dropped me off at the hospital. I had somehow convinced myself she hated me.

*
I didn't even know what to say or do anymore. I felt worthless. Like I'd let her down. Looking at her broke my heart. You could tell just how poorly she actually was. Even being sedated she was still shaking and looked in pain. The ward was pretty much silent apart from the machines. I heard the doors open and managed a small smile as I saw Matt come in with a bunch of flowers and a cinnamon bagel. It was the first time I'd smiled in about 2 weeks. Trying to work, fit in visits and try and find the right time to tell Matt I was pregnant was all getting far too much for me.

"I'm sorry I've been a arsehole."

"No it's fine. I'm sorry I've completely withdrawn myself from everything." I smiled hugging him. Anna come in after a little while and sat with us. She told us how the scans and tests actually looked like the treatment was making her better. A lot better. I'd never been so god dam happy in my entire life. Matt put his arm to hold my hand but I couldn't do it. I just couldn't touch him. I sat back and pretended I didn't see it while I waited for them to wake up Ruby. When she did eventually wake up she was sore and grumpy but seemed a bit better.

"Mummy. It hurts." She cried.

"I know sweetheart. But Auntie Anna is going to be a big help and give you some pain medication." I smiled as I laid in bed next to her and held her in my arms. I sung to her quietly while she cried a little. Anna gave her the pain meds and she seemed to be doing a lot better. When she eventually fell asleep Matt agreed to come on a walk with me.

"So what's wrong?" He smiled as we walked through the hospital gardens.

"Just thought we could talk. We've not had much us time over the past few weeks." I smiled.

"True. How are you feeling anyway?"

"We shouldn't be having this conversation!" I sighed. "We've been married for years we shouldn't have to ask each other how we're feeling. We should just know Matt. This isn't right clearly." I sighed.

"Gabby I think we both need to go home tonight and have a sleep and discuss this in the morning." He smiled. I threw the cup of coffee in the bin and went back inside. I said my goodbye to Ruby before heading home closely followed by Matt. When we got back to the apartment things were hard. Kelly was sitting on the sofa. We went straight to bed. Matt slept in our room and I went into Ruby's room and slept in that bed.

*
"Matt?" She called as I opened the bedroom door,

"Gabby?" I called as I went over, there were 2 bags against the sofa and she was tearfully sat at the table. I sat opposite her.

"This isn't working Matt."

"We can make this work. I promise you."

"I don't know. I'm sorry. This is going to take a lot of time. I am sorry. I'll be in contact eventually." She smiled slightly, picking her bags up and leaving quietly shutting the apartment door. I wasn't sure what to make of what just happened.

"You've lost a good one mate." Kelly sighed.

"I know. I can't believe it. I will get her back. We are just going through a tough time." I sighed, going back into the bedroom and noticing her wedding and engagement ring on the bedside table on her side. Well Ruby wasn't allowed out of hospital yet so I guess the only time we'd see each other was when we went to see her.

*

I did not expect a knock on the door at half past 9 in the morning. I mean lucky enough I was getting ready to go to work but still. I yawned and went downstairs and got quite a shock when I opened the door.

"Gabby? What the hell happened to you?"

"I think I'm getting a divorce? Can I please stay with you?" Were the only words I managed to get out through the great amount of tears.

"Of course you can. Come in...put your stuff upstairs and then come down and I'll fix up some coffee." I smiled. I heard her sniffle as she went upstairs. It didn't take long before she come back down and stood in the kitchen with me and while the coffee boiled she hugged me. I did miss her of course but me and the current girlfriend were on a break. I held her there in my arms as she was shaking and her freezing hands were carefully placed against my bare chest.

"Thank you." She smiled.

"You know your always welcome to stay here." I smiled, I actually felt terrible but I had this feeling of love for her again. Like she meant everything to me again. I loved her. I felt the need to protect her.

"Gabby? I think I still love you." I whispered. She just looked up at me confused, tearful and just unsure of what to say.

"I love you too..."