"We're..... You and I.... There's nothing between us. Between you and me. I've been busy. I haven't had the time to think about you." Seungkwan said clearly.

Yeah. Busy. Busy being losing myself into work. Busy being overdosing on sleeping pills. Busy being to a therapist. Busy getting fucked up, messed up beyond repair.

All because Hansol decided to get hella drunk and sleep with some other guy.

Seungkwan could honestly say that Vernon had not been on his mind for a while now. His mind was not in a good place.

Maybe if I had thought of Hansol a little more, I wouldn't be so depressed.

"But Seungkwan, I love you." Vernon whispered.

Seungkwan sucked in a breath. He couldn't handle it. It was too much for him. He'd been trying to just get some semblance of control over himself. If Vernon kept making proclamations like this, he'd spiral into the rabbit hole again.

Seungkwan couldn't handle so much pressure. Seungkwan was fragile.

"Hansol..... I.... I'm not ready for this. For a relationship. My mind is not right." Seungkwan, for the first time, accepted it in front of Vernon. Vernon needed to know.

Vernon didn't know anything that had happened after he left for New York. It had gotten so bad that Seungcheol and Jeonghan were going to send him to some therapeutic "retreat" in the mountains with 24*7 therapist on duty. They couldn't control him anymore. They were scared Seungkwan would do something to himself and they wouldn't be able to save him.

But Seungkwan didn't want to go. He talked them out of it and promised them that he'd religiously go for therapy and do everything the doctor told him to. He just didn't want the hyungs to leave him just like Vernon did.

So he did what he had to do but as soon as the hyungs relaxed, Seungkwan got careless. He didn't go for his therapy sessions anymore. He didn't need them. They weren't doing him any good. Vernon had did more from him than months of therapy.

Maybe Vernon was the solution to his problems. He sure was the reason for his problems. But maybe he was the solution too.

Seungkwan had loved Vernon. Maybe he still did somewhere deep inside his heart but Vernon had hurt him. He had broken him.

It wasn't the cheating that had Seungkwan so messed up. Not that it wasn't bad. Seungkwan was a mess after Vernon cheated on him. Why?? Because he got drunk. He didn't believe that. He had his suspicions that Jimin had drugged Vernon, otherwise why would he be so inebriated that he didn't even remember what happened.

Seungkwan believed what Vernon had said. He knew Vernon could never cheat on him. But he had. And Seungkwan was present when it happened. It had to be the height of stupidity to sleep with some random guy when your boyfriend was nearby. Vernon didn't do it on purpose.

Jimin had his eyes on Vernon. He knew that. It was Jimin. Seungkwan was sure now. He had drugged Vernon. He felt a little good coming to that conclusion.

But it didn't change the fact that what had got Seungkwan spiralling was Vernon and Vernon alone. What he had said. What he had said after Seungkwan had forgiven him. Seungkwan would never forget that day.

Seungkwan laid in his bed, alone and lonely. The tears won't stop no matter how much he tried so he just let them flow.

The playlist Vernon made for him playing in the background certainly didn't help.

Normally, he'd go sit with Jeonghan but Jeonghan had gone to a wedding. So he was alone. And lonely.

He didn't want to lean on his brother so much but he had no one else. For last four years, Vernon had been his best friend and boyfriend and because of that Seungkwan lost his bestfriend and his boyfriend all at once.

Why did he do it?? How could he do that to me??

Seungkwan knew Vernon loved him. He knew Vernon never wanted to hurt him. But that information just pained him more because now he knew that no matter the intent of the person, people sometimes hurt you unintendedly but that didn't lessen the pain at all. It hurt all the same. Maybe more because what was the point of being careful when the pain was inevitable??

He felt his stomach grumbling and he sighed.

Somehow, even after being so miserable, his stomach didn't get the memo that he wanted to stay in bed all day.

He sat up and wiped his tears. He went to the bathroom to clean up the snot and made his way towards the kitchen.

The doorbell rang just when he put the leftovers from breakfast in the microwave.

He opened the door and slammed it shut in a couple seconds.

He heard the muffled sounds of Vernon through the closed door.

"Seungkwan please...... Just listen to me this once..... I promise I won't bother you anymore after this. Please."

Seungkwan's didn't want to open the door. He knew Vernon would break him down if he let him in. But he was weak. He missed Vernon. He needed Vernon.

So he wiped his tears and opened the door.

Vernon stood on the stoop, Seungkwan's favourite flowers in one hand, his favourite shortcake in another.

'Damn it. He knows me too well.' Seungkwan thought.

"Seungkwan, were you crying??"

"No."

"Don't lie to me, Kwannie."

"What do you want?"

"Can I ...... Can I come in?"

Seungkwan shifted and let him inside.

"I bought these for you...." Vernon said putting the dessert aside and setting the flowers in the nearby vase.

"Thanks." Seungkwan said.

"And I got this for us." Vernon said opening the dessert box.

"Hansol, what do you want??" Seungkwan gritted out.

"Eat, first."

"Don't tell me what to do!!" Seungkwan glared.

"I.... I was only requesting." Vernon smiled.

Seungkwan looked at the delicious shortcake and his stomach grumbled.

'Screw it. Shortcake didn't cheat on me.' He thought.

Seungkwan sat beside Vernon maintaining a safe distance, took a spoon and dug it in the cake. He took a bite and closed his eyes taking in the delicious taste and amazing texture.

When he opened his eyes he saw Vernon staring at him.

Seungkwan gulped and went for another bite. He kept eating until there were only crumbs left.

"I'm sorry." Vernon finally ground out.

Seungkwan looked at him. He looked nervous.

"So you've said."

"I would've apologized sooner but Jeonghan hyung won't let me in and you run away like your ass is on fire whenever you see me at college."

Seungkwan mentally thanked Jeonghan. His hyung always knew what was best for him.

"What good is an apology, Hansol? The deed is done."

"No. NO. You have to believe me. I didn't do it."

"So you mean I'm lying??" Seungkwan raised his eyebrows. He was regretting letting him in.

"No. I mean I didn't do it on purpose. I was drunk. I dont remember anything. If you wouldn't have slapped me before leaving, I never would've guessed what happened. I... I didn't do it because I wanted to."

"But you clearly wanted that Hansol. I was clearly doing something wrong that made you get into Jimin's bed." Seungkwan spat out. He would've said Jimin hyung but the man had lost what little respect Seungkwan had for him.

"No, Kwannie. That's what I'm saying. If I was conscious I never would've did it. If I was sober, I wouldn't even have touched him. You have to believe me. You have to trust me." Vernon bunched his eyebrows.

"How can I, Hansol??" Seungkwan burst into tears. He couldn't control them anymore.

Vernon got closer and hugged Seungkwan. He rocked him and shushed him.

"How do I know you won't ever do it again??" Seungkwan hiccuped.

"I would never drink again." Seungkwan gave him a look.

"I mean not as much as I did that night."

"Nonie, I-"

"But I'm really really sorry, Seungkwan. It won't happen ever again. I promise. I love you. You know I do. You're everything I can ever ask for. Forgive me, Kwannie."

"Okay."

Vernon sucked in breath and looked into his eyes.

"Seriously."

"Yes."

"Can I kiss you??"

"Yes. Please." Seungkwan chuckled.

Vernon took his lips in a gentle kiss. He sucked his lips and poked his lips with his tongue. Seungkwan opened up, giving Vernon access to rub his tongue.

Seungkwan grabbed Vernon's shoulders and kissed him back with all he had. He had missed Vernon so much.

"Thank you for giving me a second chance." Vernon whispered.

Seungkwan removed Vernon's shirt and unbuttoned his pants making him get out of them. Seungkwan took his erection in his hand and rubbed it slowly making Vernon squirm.

"Only if you'd listened to me sooner. Or just not stormed out of the party." Vernon said.

Seungkwan broke the kiss and stared at Vernon but his were closed in ecstasy.

'Is he for real??'

Vernon opened his eyes and grabbed Seungkwan's neck. He nibbled on the delicate skin of his throat.

"I wish I did remember sleeping with Jimin hyung so that I'd know you're the best I'll ever have."

"Do you think you're missing out on something, Hansol?" Seungkwan replied back.

"No. I mean, you're the only one I've ever had." Vernon smiled and kissed his cheek.

"Is that a problem??" Seungkwan said.

"Don't make a big deal out of this, Seungkwan. Just like you did with whole sleeping with Jimin hyung thing. Just because I came crawling back to you doesn't mean I would the next time too. I have some self respect."

"Hansol??"

"What?? You and I both know you won't find anyone better than me. Better to keep me by your side." Vernon shrugged.

"Get out." Seungkwan had had enough.

"Kwannie-"

"I said get the fuck out. Are you deaf??"

Before Vernon could say anything Seungkwan stood up and dragged Vernon up by his shoulder. He took his clothes in other hand and opened the door.

He handed his pants over to Vernon and pushed him out the door.

"Hansol????!!!!"

Seungkwan heard someone shout.

Vernon was trying to stand up. He had one leg inside his jeans and was trying to wear it properly when Seungkwan threw his shirt on his face.

"Do make sure I never see your face again. I'm gonna keep my promise of keeping this a one time thing." Seungkwan snapped.

"But Kwannie-"

"Don't call me Kwannie."

"Okay Boo please try-" Vernon said. "What?? Stop glaring at me!! What am I supposed to call you??"

"Call me by my goddamn name. It's Seungkwan. Ohh you must've forgotten about it. Just like you forgot about having a boyfriend that night."

"Heyy... You told me you were over that."

"Yeah.. guess what? I'm not. Go away. I'm embarrassed that I thought you'd change."

"Seungkwan please listen to me-"

"Stop it Nonie....... Hansol. Stop it Hansol. Just please go away. You've caused me enough pain." Seungkwan's voice was shaking with unshed tears now.

"Uhh guys... What's goin on??"

Seungkwan heard another voice.

He looked up and saw a very disheveled Seungcheol and even more disheveled Jeonghan.