Seungkwan woke up surrounded by Jeonghan's smell. He stretched his hand as if trying to find someone else.

Ohh no wait.... I'm not 16 and don't share a bed with my brother anymore.

He groaned and opened his eyes to find himself in the hyungs' bedroom. He felt well rested and fresh.

Atleast the pills worked.

When Vernon had knocked on his door last night, he was in the process of taking the sleeping pills. He had gulped the pills and thrown the bottle down inside the drawer so as to not let Vernon see it.

It's not like Vernon knew anything about his overdose that happened several months ago. He just didn't want Vernon to know so that he doesn't let anything slip in front of the hyungs which will make them worry. Seungkwan had it under control.

Well the ideal conditions would have to be that Seungkwan didn't need to take the pills at all but he couldn't bring himself to fall asleep. No matter how tired he was, the sleep would elude him. And in order to function properly in the office Seungkwan needed his sleep.

So he took the pills. He didn't mean to take them regularly but it so happens that falling asleep was a lot more difficult than Seungkwan used to think it was.

He looked at the empty bed beside him and sighed thinking about his childhood. Even when they were going through difficult times Jeonghan always made sure to keep Seungkwan comfortable. Even when they lost their mom, Seungkwan didn't lose his sleep. When thier father died, Jeonghan made sure Seungkwan processed the grief and sent him to therapy. And now when Jeonghan finally started living his life as he deemed Seungkwan a grown up and stopped taking care of him, Seungkwan was a mess.

He had already screwed up once when he had overdosed on sleeping pills some months back. He won't screw up again. He won't take the pills more than he needed to. He would not spiral this time. He would not let Jeonghan worry. He would keep his problems to himself.

He got up and made the bed, folding the blanket and keeping the pillows in their places.

Seungkwan had lied when he said he avoided this room. He loved coming to this room and spending time with the hyungs. Watching movies and eating food. Sneaking in to the closet and checking their new clothes so that he could borrow them whenever he wants to wear them.

Seungkwan smiled unconsciously taking in the room. His eyes fell on the framed photograph on the bedside cabinet. Jisoo had taken it when he and Seokmin were hosting a welcome party for their daughter Minji whom they've adopted.

In the photograph, Vernon and Jeonghan were laughing at Seungcheol who had eaten a JOLOchip hidden in regular chips and Seungkwan and Seokmin were trying to get him to eat a chocolate so that he would stop shouting and not wake up the sleeping child.

Even though the picture looked crazy and happy, that day wasn't that good. Before leaving for Jisoo's apartment, Jeonghan and Seungcheol had gotten into a huge fight over Seungkwan spending so much time in the bathroom and in turn getting everyone late because everybody needed to shower after him. Jeonghan had shouted that it wasn't his fault that Vernon and Seungcheol were so lazy that they couldn't go to their own house to get ready and Seungcheol had argued about how Jeonghan's apartment was small and he needed more space.

But at the end of the day, they'd made up and decided to buy this house so that everyone of them had their own space.

Seungkwan still couldn't figure out what was Vernon doing at their apartment that day. He had no business staying with them then. Seungkwan and him were already broken up and even if he wanted to meet the hyungs and pick up something he forgot, he didn't need to spend the night.

Huh. Weird. But then nothing about Hansol is normal. So it's okay I guess.

Seungkwan sighed and made his way out of the room to the stairs. He heard voices coming from the kitchen so he veered that way.

"...and then Coups gave me this itinerary. It was fine until I saw that we weren't going to see Eiffel Tower till fifth day of the whole trip. Seriously???? I mean shouldn't Eiffel Tower be on the first day?? He knew I was so excited about it and still he's delaying it so much. He says he wants us to have an organic experience here and not a common tourist experience. But we are common tourists!!!! And he wouldn't let me talk to our travel agent who he claims made this itinerary. I smell bullshit Hansol. He must've had screwed up and now doesn't want me to find out about it."

"But hyung even I've heard about how Eiffel Tower is nothing but a commercialization gig at this point. The place is filled with tourists and it's not really a good experience. Maybe Cheol hyung wants you guys to have a good time before having an inevitable bad time at Eiffel Tower."

"You think so?? I don't know Hansol........ I just wanted to go see Eiffel Tower......... Anyway how's you?? Settling in well?"

"Ohhh Good morning Hannie hyung. Glad to see you kept your promise of calling me as soon as you reach there." Seungkwan decided to make his presence known at that moment.

"Heyy Kwannie!!! I'm so sorry. I thought about calling you but there was so much going on I forgot about it. And we just came back from lunch and saw Hansol's missed call so I called him back. Did you just wake up?? Did you sleep well??" Jeonghan asked scratching his head.

"Yeah I slept well and you might want to hide that hickey.... It's.... huge.... Didn't you guys get tired after the flight?? Sheesh why do I even care?" Seungkwan said shaking his head.

"Maybe they did it during the flight, you know, like in the washroom....." Vernon replied from the corner of the kitchen.

Jeonghan spat out the coffee he was drinking and started coughing unstoppably.

"Hannie are you okay???" They heard Seungcheol's voice faintly over the coughing.

Seungkwan high fived Vernon and exited the kitchen when he heard Jeonghan scolding Vernon.

"Hansol Vernon Chwe where did you get that unholy mind from??"

"C'mon Hyung don't be a prude. We both know what happened and there's no use denying it."

"Are we that predictable??"

"Not you. But Cheol hyung is and..........." Seungkwan walked out of the earshot of the kitchen and entered his room.

Trash can would be a better word for it.

The smell of something rotten hit his nose but he ignored it and went to the bathroom to shower and get ready for office.

He came out, got dressed in a crisp shirt and trousers, and went out of his room.

He checked his hair in the hallway mirror and made his way towards the main door.

He opened the door but stopped when he heard Vernon calling out.

"Seungkwan is that you?? Are you leaving already??" Vernon said coming out of the kitchen.

"Yeah."

"But I made breakfast."

"I'm getting late Hansol, maybe nex- wait YOU made breakfast???"

"Uhh yeah" Vernon said scratching his head.

"You do know toasting bread in a toaster isn't called making breakfast???"

"Heyy that's mean. How do you know I made that. I could've cooked something else."

"Did you?"

"Well no. I was busy talking to Hannie hyung. Otherwise I would've cooked something."

Seungkwan let go of the door and folded his hands.

"Ohh yeah?? Like what?" He said raising his eyebrow.

"Uhhhh........ Ramen with eggs??"

"I'm outta here." Seungkwan shook his head and stepped out of the door.

"No wait.... I'll make scrambled eggs too. Scrambled eggs with toast is an acceptable breakfast Kwannie..... Come on... Cut me some slack."

"Why are you doing this Hansol??? Did the hyungs tell you to do this?? I'm not a baby."

"No and I know you're not a baby."

"Then why hound me for eating?? You did it last night too. Look I'm sorry I shouted on you last night... That was uncalled for and I didn't mean anything I said but stop acting as if you care. You don't need to do this."

"I am not acting to care for you. I do care for you. And even if I didn't, I'd end up pitying you. Have you seen yourself in the mirror lately Seungkwan?? You look malnourished. You have dark circles bigger than my sunglasses. Your clothes hang on your body's frame and your room stinks. What's happening Seungkwan???"

"I knew it was a bad idea to let you in my room."

"That's what you focus on out of all that I said?? What about you having no appetite?? What about you being cranky all the time?? You didn't even talk to Jeonghan hyung properly."

"Yeah well.... Your Jeonghan hyung didn't even text me when they reached. Neither of them did."

"They reached Paris early in the morning. Their flight got delayed. They were tired as fuck and went straight to bed and woke up just an hour ago and went to eat. He called me because I called him first. And you'd have known all of this if you had called or texted them."

"Yeah well I slept late at night and now I'm getting late for office. I don't have time."

"And who's fault is that?? You leave at 8 and come back at midnight. Do you think it's healthy?? Do you think this job is worth it??"

"Not everyone has a trust fund their parents left for them Hansol. Some of us have to fend for ourselves."

"Ohh shut up. You live with the hyungs. And they'd happily pay for anything you need. Stop with this 'fend for myself' shit because it's not like you're starving or on your own."

"I don't want to mooch off of hyungs. They want to retire early and for that they need savings. I'm not going to let them spend on me."

"So they'll just retire a couple years later. Big deal. This is just you trying to push them away cz you think they're going to forget about you. You're distancing yourself just so it hurts less. Newsflash they won't leave you."

"How many times have I told you to stop using your psychoanalysing techniques on me??"

"And how many times have I told you fucking eat before going out??"

"Talking to you is like bashing my head on the wall. It fucking hurts my brain."

"Do you even have a brain???"

"Fuck you Hansol!" Seungkwan said and slammed the door shut.

He made his way to the driveway and entered his car.

Who does he thinks he is??? My mom?? My dad?? My brother?? He is just my ex who cheated on me. Fuck why didn't I say that in the actual argument? Damn it.

He pulled his car on to the road and made his way towards his office.

But he never reached the office.