(IM CRYING OVER THIS PHOTO STOP)

➯𝙫𝙤𝙩𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩!

⬎⬐

i turned my alarm off as soon as it started ringing.

i had already been awake for the past hour, sitting in bed thinking back to yesterday.

he... loves me..?

he loves me. and i didn't say anything back.

i thought i was so prepared to tell him i liked him... but i never even thought about love, i've been too caught up in the finals, especially this year since i don't want to make a big screw up like last time...

what the hell do i say? what do i focus on while skating? does he hate me now? fuck, why is this so difficult?

come to think of it... i hardly tell anyone i love them. my parents have always been gone so it was never really common i guess... i think the last time i told my aunt and uncle i loved them was over a year ago.

goddammit.

UGH i can't think about all this right now, i have to focus on my routine and get ready. yurio can come later...

i shake my head, trying to get rid of the thoughts before climbing out of bed to prepare for today's final.

i grab the necklace yurio gave me and put it on.

this is it.

-

time skip brought to you by my tears for no fucking reason.

-

the morning went by quickly. everything seemed to blur by as lilia, minako and mari helped me get ready again.

i just can't seem to get out of this daze, i keep losing focus!

we all step out of the car again and walk towards the entrance. this time i walk with them into the building and all but ignore the reporters as i stare at the ground, off into space.

we enter the rink, and the echoes of bustling audience members still seems to be far off in the distance.

suddenly i'm pulled out of my thoughts when someone hugs me.

"y/n! you did so good yesterday i didn't get a chance to tell you! you basically disappeared yesterday!" mila says excitedly.

right... yesterday lilia pulled me away from everything just as i was struggling to respond to yurio, and then for the rest of the day i couldn't bring myself to face him so i hid in my room. 

fun times.

"oh my gosh mila! thank you! you were great yesterday!" i say, smiling at her.

"oh please, it was nothing. but be prepared today cause i'm making you work for first place! got it?" she says.

i laugh, "of course."

"hey i'm here too! i'm 3rd right now i'll have you know!" sara says as she comes up to us with a playful smirk.

"sara! i barely saw you yesterday but you were awesome!" i say.

she flips her hair, "i know, but so were you!" she pauses as she seems to remember something, "wait a minute... what's going on with you and yurio?"

i freeze, "um- hah... what about him?"

"nothing really but i just saw him peak from behind the door and then freak out and leave when he saw you." she says raising an eyebrow.

"he- WHAT!?" oh shit, he's here... right now?? of course he is. i don't even know what to say to him, i mean by now he probably hates me.

before i can think about it more i feel lilia grab my shoulder, "y/n, i have someone on the phone for you."

i glance up at her, confused. someone on the phone for me..? the only people who would call for me are my aunt and uncle and they get daily updates from yuuri, minako, and mari.

i say goodbye and good luck to sara and mila, i'll talk to them more later, and i take a phone from lilia.

i hesitantly answer, "...hello?"

"y/n, there you are."

"i'm sorry, who is this?"

a familiar chuckle sounds from the other side, "i didn't know i still had to introduce myself to my own student!"

my heart drops. "coach ukai!? what the hell are you doing??"

"what the hell am i doing? what the hell are you doing!? i watched yesterday, you were incredible y/n! i've never been prouder."

my chest swells, hearing his familiar voice. i forgot how much i missed this old geezer...

"well i had to show off to make someone regret retiring." i smirk.

he laughs, "the only reason i retired was because i knew i couldn't find another student half as good as you. and i wanted to watch you grow on your own. and boy am i glad i did!"

i smile to myself, missing our time together, "and since when did you become such a softie? is the old age getting to you?"

"HEY! i'm not that old!"

we both laugh, before returning to a small silence.

ukai talks more seriously, "but really y/n, you've grown a lot since a year ago. i hardly recognized your skating, and those quads were something else. but i know how you are, and today is the free skate for the finals. i know you're probably having a lot of trouble calming down and focusing right now, but don't let yourself get stuck in your own head."

i sigh, "yeah... i know, but easier said than done..." i start to think back to yurio.

"you have what it takes, and more, you just have to keep your eyes open. reach out to something around you, grab onto it, and don't let go. let yourself open up, or you'll be stuck in your head forever."

i stay silent for a minute before responding, "thank you ukai, you always gave great advice. i guess it's true... wisdom does come with old age!" i laugh.

"Y/N!! i swear i'll fly to barcelona and remind you of my coaching with a day of conditioning!"

i roll my eyes, "sure, whatever you say grandpa."

i can almost hear him glare through the phone. he sighs, "good luck to you y/n, i'll be cheering you on as always. i know your parents would be proud."

my eyes widen a bit at the mention of my parents, "...thanks, coach. i'll see ya around." i sniffle a bit, not really wanting to hang up.

"see ya, y/n." 

the dial tone goes and take the phone away from my ear.

i sigh as i think about my years of training with ukai. i'm definitely annoying the crap out of him with yuuri when i get back.

i smile to myself, before looking around for lilia. i walk around for a bit, seeing skaters enter and exit, mila getting ready to go on in just a few minutes.

finally i bump into yakov, "oh uh, hey. do you know where lilia is..?"

to be honest yakov kind of always intimidated me a bit... he didn't coach me as much and i was rarely with him one on one.

he grunts, "she's with yurio right now. she wanted to do his hair or something."

oh fuck.

"oh uh... i guess i'll just wait for her here then..." i awkwardly stand next to him, slightly leaning on a wall.

an uncomfortable silence hangs in the air, and i try to look busy by looking around.

"so uh..." suddenly yakov starts to speak up.

i freeze. oh no awkward conversation.

"*ahem*...i heard a bit about what yurio did yesterday."

ABORT ABORT.

"well, i just wanted to say that yurio has never done something like that. when he says those things, he really means it, so don't doubt him or anything..."

i look at him with wide eyes, and slowly nod.

"just don't be scared to respond to him, no matter what your answer is."

don't be scared, huh?

i gulp, "um, yeah... for sure."

"and... yurio doesn't hate you. not at all. he talked to his grandpa a lot yesterday and he definitely doesn't hate you. so don't worry about seeing him..."

he doesn't? he really doesn't? not even a little?

i feel a bit of relief come off my chest, "okay... thank you."

"don't mention it. if you do he'll probably kill me."

i try to stifle a laugh, "yeah, he probably would." i look up to see yakov smiling a bit as well.

before we can say anything else the announcer starts speaking.

'the women's senior division free skate final is beginning now!'

the audience settles and the whole rink waits in anticipation.

'now welcoming mila babicheva to the ice! currently in 2nd place, she is from russia and only 18!'

i watch as she enters the rink, looking determined.

"DAVAI MILA!" i shout to her.

she looks my way and smiles, giving me a thumbs up.

i turn back to face yakov and see lilia coming back, but still no yurio in sight.

still debating if that's a good or bad thing...

lilia walks over to me, "alright y/n, you're on last again. same order as yesterday." i nod.

"you're going to do great. you already took everyone by surprise yesterday. we've all seen how much you've grown, and you're ready." she says.

i nod again, taking a long breath to try and calm my nerves. i try to get my eyes focused but my vision keeps going in and out of focus.

god this is just like last time. i completely blew it at last years final, especially in the free skate. it was just like this, i couldn't focus at all.

i'm sorry ukai, i don't know if i can do this...

the three of us wait on the sidelines, watching the performances as they go by.

mila did amazing again, staying in first so far with a score of 161.84. sara just went third after another girl, taking second with a score of 159.73. now the fourth girl in the line up is going.

i should probably start warming up a bit...

i excuse myself from lilia and yakov, and go into a hallway to stretch.

come on y/n, just snap out of it. this isn't like last year.

i try to calm my increasing heart rate but nothing seems to work. it's like my mind is in overdrive, and suddenly all the tiredness from previous days is hitting me.

i'm pulled out of my thoughts briefly when lilia finds me and tells me i'm on in just a couple of minutes.

sighing, i take off my pants and jacket, revealing my dress.

(this you 😩 if you don't like it ofc you can imagine sum else)

we walk along the sidelines, towards the entrance to the ice.

everything around me seems muffled. the audience, lilia and yakov, and mila and sara who i see a few feet away telling me good luck.

my eyes dart around nervously. this is so much worse than yesterday. now i'm worried about my routine and yurio. how am i supposed to do this?

the announcer introduces me.

'now for our final performance, welcome y/n katsuki to the ice! cousin's with fellow skater, yuuri katsuki, she's from japan and recently started training in russia. she's just 16 and in her second year of finals! jumping to 1st place yesterday, let's see how she manages today.'

i stand in front of the ice, taking a final breath and one last look around at the people around me.

i see lilia and yakov behind me with reassuring faces, behind them are mila and sara cheering me on. to the side i see victor and yuuri, with more worried faces, and minako and mari further in the stands, as loud as ever.

i turn back to the rink, and finally enter. i take my starting position in the center, and the music starts.

i start slow, taking my time around the rink, trying to feel the music.

although the music is soft i feel tense as ever, i just can't relax.

my thoughts go into over drive and everything around me is blurry.

get a grip y/n. don't screw up like last time, don't disappoint everyone watching and cheering you on.

the music seems get muffled out, and it's like i'm all alone in the dark. i feel completely off-balance, and i start to get out of time with the music.

why can't i just open up and relax? why can't i just focus? why can't i just respond to yurio!?

... flashback ...

it was an especially hard day of training. lilia already had us do hours of conditioning and dancing, and i didn't eat much that day. then after several more hours of skating i decided to do even more practice on my quads on my own, rather late at night.

i leaned over my knees, panting. i slowly stepped out of the rink, grabbing my pounding head and trying not to trip over my aching ankles.

i made it into the locker room before practically collapsing against the lockers, passing out for a second. the noise must have been loud enough to get yurio to see what happened, just as he was leaving.

i opened my eyes to see yurio looking down at me with a worried face, he sat me up and quickly grabbed water and bandages, taking off my skates and wrapping my ankles.

"you're really stupid, you know that? you can't overwork yourself like this..." he said, trying to mask his worry.

in my delirium i laughed lightly, looking around aimlessly as my consciousness drifted in and out, "aww, is the angry kitty worried about me~?"

he tightens a bandage harder, making me yelp. he then grabs my face in his hands, forcing me to look at him.

"promise me this won't happen again. promise me you'll take of yourself, okay?"

i don't respond as i stare into his eyes, getting lost in them as my whole body and mind seems to calm down.

"promise me!"

i snap out of it, "ah! okay okay! i promise..."

... flashback end ...

why am i thinking about that now at a time like this? i should be focusing on my program... shouldn't i?

suddenly i hear a voice clearly in my head, overpowering everything around me.

"y/n, davai. y/n, i love you."

it's as if my eyes open and all the things swirling around me stop. i can see clearly. i see mila and sara, lilia and yakov, victor and yuuri, and minako and mari all cheering me on together. i see my aunt and uncle, coach ukai, and my faded memories of my parents.

my heart swells as i think about my time with all of them, all the experiences that have helped me grow.

finally the music comes back to me, the lights dance around me and i see yurio. i see him. his face, his eyes...

i think about ukai's advice, to latch onto something around me, to open up.

i focus on yurio, and i feel myself open up. every motion i make now feels smooth and fluid. i fly through the air with ease, being right on time with the music.

this isn't like last year. this time i have a new found family. i'm not alone in my head, i have everyone around me.

i'm sorry i took so long yurio, but i'm not afraid anymore. i hope it isn't too late, i hope you're still there...

...because i have my answer for you.

i finally land in my ending pose, with one hand limply at my chest, touching the necklace, and another arm reaching up into the sky as i look up.

my sense come back to reality and i hear the roaring of the crowd, the purple and blue lights filling my vision, a spotlight fixed on me.

i feel overwhelmed by emotion as throat and chest tightens, and i feel my eyes getting teary.

flowers and gifts are thrown from every side, and i wave to the crowds, giving them a genuine smile.

i turn back to exit the rink, immediately getting bombarded with hugs and congratulations. 

"Y/N! that brought me to tears!" i hear victor and minako shouting. 

"i'll admit, i was a little worried in the beginning, but then at some point you seemed to completely change! you even fit in another 2 quads!" victor says.

i look confused, "i... i did?"

they all laugh, "wow, you must have really been in the zone if you don't even remember what you were skating." yuuri says.

the announcer starts to give my score.

"everybody shut up!" mari says as we all listen intently.

'and it looks like y/n's score is coming in now!'

it's like the whole building holds their breath in anticipation.

'a score of 168.45! that's another broken record and she shoots back up to first place! y/n katsuki has won this year's grand prix final!'

i let out a breath of relief, the screaming of everyone around me filling my ears. i smile as they jump up and down.

'awards will be given out to everyone at the award ceremony tonight after the men's senior division finishes!'

"y/n! you did it! i knew you could you were incredible!" mila and sara come up to greet me.

"aw thank you so much guys, you both did amazing!"

after hugging everyone more, and more of people crying, the excitement dies down and the men's division starts.

'and now the start of the men's senior division free skate finals! starting with yuri plisetsky! just 15 years old and from russia, he has been dominating his first year in the men's senior division!'

i gasp. it's already his turn? i can't just sit here and watch before giving him my answer!

i frantically scan the crowd, looking for him. i hadn't seen him all day, although everyone seems to have.

i finally look across the rink, to see him enter from the other side. his hair is done up in a pony tail and braid, and his flamy black red and pink costume covers him.

he looks down at the ice and he skates toward the center to take his starting position. he doesn't even look up at the audience around him.

yurio... please wait for me...

"wait-!" i'm about ready to run onto the ice when i'm stopped.

i look up to see otabek holding my arm, "watch him first. it'll be okay."

i give him a worried look, before sighing in defeat and finding a spot on the sidelines to watch him from.

-

『𝙮𝙪𝙧𝙞 '𝙨 (𝙮𝙪𝙧𝙞𝙤) 𝙥𝙤𝙫 』

-

i take a shaky breath as the music starts.

she never gave a response... what does that mean?

i talked to grandpa a lot yesterday... but he always gives the weirdest metaphors and speaks in riddles!

what did he say about her? that she needs to let the ice melt or something? open up? ugh i don't know. but it's really screwing up my focus today.

who am i kidding. all i can think about is her.

i finally listened to all that "unconditional love" advice, and i told her how i feel.

she didn't respond... and it hurt. it hurts a lot.

my chest tightens up, and i squeeze my eyes shut, swallowing hard, trying to stop any tears from forming.

i didn't know love could hurt as well.

i stumble a bit on a jump, before getting right back up.

but... i've thought about it a lot, and even if i'm scared of her response, i won't give up hope.

i won't give up on you y/n, because i can't seem to stop loving you.

i don't want to stop loving you. even if you never feel the same, you've got my heart. 

you've taught me a lot of things. and i don't think i would've made it this far without your support.

i'll be waiting for you, my princess.

my chest swells and my emotions finally let out.

i land in my final pose, strong as ever, before the tears start to let out, and i fall to my knees.

-

『𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙥𝙤𝙫 』

-

yurio finishes his performance. the entire time i couldn't look away.

it was filled with grief, but then a strong passion. this feeling of undying hope, and undying love. like a flame that would refuse to go out, melting the ice away.

i watch as he breaks down, and before i know it i'm running across the ice towards him, ignoring otabek, lilia, and victor who call out to me.

i make it to him, dropping to my knees in front of him. i see his shoulders shake as he cries.

my heart hurts seeing him like this, and i feel my own eyes fill with tears. 

i take his hands in mine, resting them on my lap.

he keeps his head down staring down at our hands, his tears still falling.

i lean down to kiss him on the cheek, before whispering in his ear.

"i love you too, my prince."

as the words leave my lips, he quickly looks up at me, sniffling with wide eyes. his whole face seems to go red.

before i can say anything else he engulfs me in a hug, burying his face in my neck.

"you have no idea how long i've been waiting to hear that."

my heart rate picks up, and i smile uncontrollably as i hug him back.

"i just wish i could have told you sooner. i'm sorry yurio..."

he laughs lightly, "you're really stupid, you know that?"

i pull away from the hug and hit his arm lightly, "hey!"

he laughs, "you don't have to be sorry about anything. i was prepared to wait for you forever if i had to."

when i hear this i practically melt. you're something else yurio...

i can't seem to respond as i feel myself blush hard.

"aw look! you're even as pink as a piglet now~" he teases.

"shut up!"

suddenly we hear the announcer.

'what's this?? we have yuri plisetsky and y/n katsuki together on the ice! an ice skating couple maybe?'

the whole audience 'aww's.'

if my face wasn't red before it most definitely is now.

we both stand up embarrassed, but yurio seems to regain himself quickly and smirks at me.

he grabs my waist.

"what are you do-" i'm suddenly cut off by him kissing me.

i freeze in shock, before kissing him back.

after a few seconds we both slowly pull away, and i look at him with wide eyes.

'there you have it folks! if that doesn't confirm it nothing will! yuri plisetsky and y/n katsuki are making beautiful and powerful figure skating couple!'

the audience roars in applause once again.

"oh you're gonna pay for that." i glare at him playfully.

"oh really? what are you gonna do?"

"hmm, i could totally do your hair... or even better! at the banquet i'll just have to drag you onto the dance floor again~!" i smirk.

he blushes, "HEY WAIT!"

-

time skip brought to you by me freaking tf out. fr i'm a mess of crying and blushing and screaming this isn't okay-

-

for the rest of the performances yurio and i watch the others with victor, lilia, yakov, and everyone else.

everyone does amazing, with yuuri even breaking a record, but yurio keeps first place by just a little.

there are tears and excitement from everyone, and before we know it it's time for the award ceremony.

the winners go onto the ice, and stand up at a podium in the center.

me and yurio stand in first with our gold medals, our hands locked together.

yuuri and mila are in second, and sara and JJ in third.

i wave to otabek on the sidelines who got fourth, and give him a thumb's up. he does the same, smiling.

we all wave to the crowd as the spotlights shine on us, as the crowd cheers louder than ever.

'sara and JJ taking third! yuuri and mila in second! and the new prince and princess of the grand prix, y/n and yurio winning gold!'

i smile uncontrollably at the crowds, before turning to see yurio staring at me.

he smiles softly, "you're beautiful y/n..."

i look at him in surprise at the sudden compliment before recovering, "you're not so bad yourself."

he tries to glare but can't cover his smile, "...for an old hag."

"heyyy!" we both laugh.

it looks like the ice melted nikolai, i finally understand. this is a flame of love that won't die out.

i see victor in the sidelines, along with minako and mari completely gushing over us.

"it finally happened! took you guys long enough!" victor shouts.

i shake my head at them laughing. 

finally yurio and i raise out interlocked hands, looking out fiercely at the crowd. 

'and this concludes the grand prix final this year in barcelona! thank you everyone!'

they cheer for us all a final time, and the air has never been happier.

i look at yurio, "congratulations, my prince." i tease.

he smirks, "oh shut up, princess."

i whisper in his ear, "я люблю тебя."

he freezes as his eyes widen. 

he blushes before responding, "я тоже тебя люблю."

⬏⬑

➯𝙫𝙤𝙩𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩!

and so they lived happily ever after...

.

.

.

until author decided to write an epilogue and a few more specials because she doesn't wanna be done with this yet :P

𝙖/𝙣

translations: "я люблю тебя (ya lyublyu tebya)." ➯ "i love you."

"я тоже тебя люблю (ya tozhe tebya lyublyu)." ➯ "i love you too."

⬐PLEASE PLEASE READ! ⬎

author.exe has stopped working.

oh my god i'm crying. this was the last chapter BUT IT'S ALSO NOT!

there WILL be an epilogue, and there will be a Welcome to Madness special, as well as maybe a couple others... SO DON'T GO YET!

but i just wanna say thank you to all my lovely readers for making it to here, this has been so much fun to write! i really hope you all enjoyed! love you all so much!! <33

until next time :)