(yuuri is such a mood i can't-)

➯𝙫𝙤𝙩𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩!

⬎⬐

i crane my neck to look around at the bleachers... but i still don't see nikolai.

dammit, is he not coming? i guess i shouldn't have gotten my hopes up... i wish there was another way to thank him, oh well.

i realize i still haven't seen yurio all day, and he's the next to perform his free skate after JJ.

i never found out what he thought of the pirozhki i left him...

i lean against the wall of the rink, crossing my arms.

lilia enters from the locker room door, and i look up, yuri follows behind her. we make eye contact for a brief second before we look away.

i turn to face yakov next to me, i notice both him and lilia have worried looks on their faces. what's that about?

"yuri... i'm sorry to tell you this, but it doesn't look like your grandpa is coming to see you perform today either..." yakov looks down at him.

his grandpa never came to see him..? his only family?

suddenly yuri starts smiling, i swear his eyes are practically sparkling.

uh- did i miss something?

"don't worry! i know he's watching even if he isn't here, he left me a bag of pirozhki at my door last night!!"

i freeze, looking down at the ground.

he thinks... 

...oh... i see...

yuri crosses his arms, "it was amazing as always! he knows just what i need. now i know i will perform better today than yesterday, so don't look so worried old hag and old man! i can still win."

yeah. there's no way i can tell him those pirozhki were from me, it's better this way...

even if he stays mad at me for the rest of his life.

i sigh and mumble under my breath,  "just don't go throwing a hissy fit if you don't win, pussycat."

yuri whips his head to look at me, "shut up piglet." i never thought i'd miss him calling me that... 

"i've been thinking... and even if i don't get gold this time, it'll be alright."

my eyes widen, did he really just say that??

he looks down, "i think... i've begun to understand what you've both been saying."

"...uh, both? oh so you're crazy now too? cause last time i checked there's only one of me, i'm one of a kind." 

he snorts, "yeah, that's for sure."

"i can't tell if that was a compliment or not."

"stupid duckling, what i mean is both you and my grandpa have been saying similar things lately. now shut up, i have to go on so pay attention."

he takes off his jacket, revealing his costume. his hair was done by lilia, and she looks satisfied with her work.

lilia grabs yuri by his shoulders, "you're much more ready than yesterday yuri, you're going to do amazing. you've worked hard for this, now stay focused and make russia proud. remember, strenght is nothing without beauty."

yurio looks up at her and nods, determined.

' and now welcoming 15 year old yuri plisetsky from russia, skating allegro appassionato in B minor. '

the commentator announces him as he enters the rink, and the squealing of fangirls start.

you got this yuri... remember to be unconditional...

he gets to the center, positioning himself away from me.

he gives me a quick glance and smile, before the music starts and he takes off.

-

『𝙮𝙪𝙧𝙞 '𝙨 (𝙮𝙪𝙧𝙞𝙤) 𝙥𝙤𝙫 』

-

i feel... so much calmer.

everything seems to make more sense, and my mind is clear.

maybe it's because of the pirozhki? i know you're watching grandpa...

or maybe... it's because of her? she came today, she came to see me. despite all those rude things i said to her...

the music continues swirling around me as it almost fades into background noise.

ugh, why was i SO STUPID!??

i jump slightly higher than anticipated.

i have so much energy, so much passion today.

i want to perform my best for grandpa, for y/n, and for russia... and of course to prove to that shithead JJ who won't leave us alone.

but i want to talk to y/n again, i want to hold her hand and hug her, because... i do care. i care for everything about her, differently than with my grandpa. 

i care about what she thinks, and i want her to feel happy around me... and i hate that i made her so sad!! UGH! it's so frustrating!

this performance is dedicated to you, y/n. to our conflict, and our passion. you're one of a kind, and i won't be letting you go so easily...

-

『𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙥𝙤𝙫 』

-

he was perfect.

that was the most beautiful and powerful routine i had ever seen from him.

i just wish nikolai was here to see it too, he'd understand why i'm doing all this for him.

yuri finishes in his final pose, and the crowd is going wild.

tons of cats, flowers, and flags are thrown onto the ice, until a pair of cat ears from yuri's fangirls lands on his head. 

"hUH!?!?" i burst out laughing.

"YOU REALLY ARE A PUSSYCAT YURIO!" i shout at him.

he turns to me, with a glare. he starts skating towards me.

ohhh fuck....

i start backing away, but he's too fast.

he grabs me, and instead of absolutely RKO'ing me, he hugs me. tighter than ever.

"i'm so glad you came."

.

.

.

"'course i did... 

.

.

.

how could i miss you wearing cat ears?" i smirk.

"HEY-"

"*ahem* am i interrupting?"

i look up over yuri's shoulder.

"...nikolai? oh my god you came! i didn't see you in the crowd earlier and thought you decided not to!"

i let go of yurio and go up to greet him.

"y/n, who-" yuri turns around, "grandpa! you're here!! i knew it!" he runs up and hugs him.

"aH!" nikolai bends over in pain.

"OH RIGHT! sorry i forgot about your bad back..."

nikolai smiles at his grandson like he's the most important person in the world, "it's alright yuratchka, your performance was amazing."

haha... WHAT!?

imma need a replay on that real quick 😃

...did he just say... grandpa?

"hold on- nikolai- you're yurio's GRANDPA!?"

"hahaha! of course i am, who else?" he smiles down at us as yuri finally lets him go.

"piggy how do you know my grandpa? are you one of my fangirls stalking me?" he smirks, "i'm flattered."

"OF COURSE NOT! i just met him a few nights ago on a walk!"

"well you guys seem to be doing better than a couple days ago. pirozhki works wonders! told you y/n."

this time it's yuri's turn to be confused, "huh? didn't you drop off pirozhki for me last night? it was the best batch you've made!"

"no yuratchka, that was y/n. i taught her how to make it at the bakery. and did you just say her's was better than mine??"

yurio's eyes widen, "no i- ...hold on- WHAT???"

-

time skip brought to you by the hitachiin twins

-

after the kiss and cry and watching yuuri's performance, everything was explained.

"okay, let me get this straight. you've known who i was since when i met you at the bridge? and you knew i was talking about yurio? so you helped me by making pirozhki... and the grandson you've been talking about is yuri... WAIT A MINUTE! that was yuri's old room you showed me??"

"YOU SHOWED HER MY ROOM!?"

i snicker, "i can autograph one of those posters for you if you want yurio~"

yurio growls, "SHUT UP!!"

i try to stop myself from laughing, "easy there tiger."

nikolai laughs at us, "yes, i've known who you are since i met you y/n, mainly because when i picked yuri up from the airport he wouldn't stop talking about this one girl-"

"SHHSHHSHSHH!" yurio tries to frantically stop his grandpa.

he continues, "it's nice to officially meet you, y/n. sorry i didn't let you know earlier, i thought it might be better this way so i could help you and yuri figure out your problems."

i look up at him, "it's alright, i understand."

"what do you mean you understand!? i don't! you taught her to make pirozhki, and then showed her my old room, and told her embarrassing stories from my childhood!?" yuri starts to freak out.

"aww~ don't worry pussycat. but try not burn down the bakery the next time you're making pirozhki, your grandpa told me all about that." i wink at him.

"THAT WAS ONE TIME!"

nikolai looks down at me, putting his hand on my shoulder, "i'm going to be honest with you y/n,  this was also a sort of test. i wanted to see what yuratchka here found so special about you, and now i understand. it takes a special person to put up with him." he smiles warmly.

he turns to yurio, bending down next to him and talking in a low voice that i can't make out, "good job yura, she's a keeper. now treat her well, there's only so much advice i can give. you should hold on tight to her." he smiles.

yurio blinks at him, then glances at me, his whole face going red, "I- I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!" he starts to stomp away in his skates.

i blink, then look up at nikolai, "uhh, what was that about?"

he just chuckles watching yuri walk away, "ah nothing. don't worry about it for now."

"whatever you say gramps."

-

time skip brought to you by yurios fangirls

-

i look up at the podium.

that asshole JJ in first, that italian in 3rd, and yurio in 2nd. yuuri ended up in 4th, since unfortunately victor had to leave for an emergency with makkachin.

i bite my lip, worried about yuri's reaction to getting 2nd this time... especially when JJ won again.

nikolai seems to notice my look of worry, and puts a hand on my shoulder. i look up at him and he smiles down at me reassuringly.

he takes a breath to say something, "you know, yuratchka-"

before he can complete his sentence yurio comes from the rink's podium and jumps into nikolai's arms, hugging him and thanking him.

i look at them and smile sadly. (you wish that was you huh?)

i think back to my aunt and uncle at home... at yuuri... and at my long forgotten parents. i guess i kind of forgot how lonely it can be...

i leave without saying bye and exit the rink.

alright, time to focus back on my competitions over the next two days.

-

yuri looks around after talking to lilia, yakov, and nikolai.

"hey, where's y/n?"

-

time skip brought to you by the bitter ass coffee keeping me awake

-

i stand on the podium, looking down. the flashing of the cameras all around me, how could i do so bad?

over the past two days yurio has been basically back to his old punk self, spending a lot of time with his grandpa. so yuuri and i have been keeping each other company with victor gone, but today victor got back so i guess that leaves me more or less alone once again.

on the first day of competitions i did fine, not bad but not great. i did victor's short program near perfect, but it lacked any confidence and power i previously had.

i really thought after fixing things with yurio i would be fine... but then today my free skate was awful. i really still can't figure out what emotion victor wants from me, i mean he did choose the music.

i sigh, i bet he'll have lots to say after seeing my crappy performance today... and placing 3rd.

the award ceremony finally ends, and i walk out of the rink, avoiding any cameras or newscasters. i walk by yuuri and victor, who stare at me worriedly.

i feel someone grab my arm, and i turn to see victor staring down at me.

"what was that? i know you're better than that y/n."

i look down, too embarrassed to say anything. this felt almost as bad as my failure a year ago. 

he sighs, "alright, that's it. tonight the three of us are going out to dinner and figuring this out, i don't care if we all have early flights to barcelona tomorrow. no exceptions, i'll be at your door at 9:00 sharp, so don't even try to make excuses."

i pull my arm away, "alright fine daddd." i start to head back to my room.

behind me i hear victor gasp, "YUURI! did you hear that? she called me 'dad'! i can be a proud father now!" yuuri just facepalms as victor starts cheering.

-

geico; 15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance

-

i look in my bathroom mirror, sighing.

maybe if i hop out the window i can land in some snow and survive-

i hear a knock at the door.

dammit. well it's not like i could make it anyways, 7 stories high is a pushing it a little...

i take my time walking to the door, but victor seems to be highly impatient and starts to pound on my door.

"IM COMING CHILL THE FUCK OUT!"

i open the door and see an annoyed victor and a scared yuuri. nice to see nothings changed...

victor grabs mine and yuuri's wrist, dragging us with him.

"wha- HEY! slow down!"

after being dragged across the city we arrive at a cafe that's open pretty late, and find a table.

victor sits down in front of me. he takes out his phone and scrolls to the music, then plays it for all of us. we sit in silence as we listen.

the song ends, and victor looks up at us, "so y/n, when you were skating to this what were you thinking about?"

"i guess i was thinking about-"

suddenly he smacks my head with a rolled up magazine, "wrong answer!"

"OW! what do you mean?? i didn't even finish!" i rub my head.

"it was a trick question, you shouldn't be thinking you should be feeling."

"okay that was unfair!"

he stares me down, "what were you feeling, y/n?"

"if i knew i would tell you!"

he sighs, "yuuri, what did you feel when you listened to this song?"

yuuri thinks for moment, "i felt like my whole life was flashing before my eyes, like everything i've been through up to this moment just went by. it was sad but also... happy?"

victor nods, "now back to you y/n."

i sigh, rubbing my temples, "i felt sort of... lost?" i pause before continuing, "...almost like everything was spinning around me, as if i was reaching out for something but couldn't find it, or it was just too far out of my reach."

victor brightens up, "perfect!"

perfect!? what goes through this man's mind??

"this song is called 'Experience' for a reason. it's like experiencing your whole life again, like running through the rain, or like looking for a lost love." he goes on, "this song may start out sounding innocent, but it is so much more. and only you can show that y/n. it isn't the innocence you tried to use a year ago in your old performances, it's instead a built up feeling of love and life."

yuuri and i blink at him.

"okay... and how am i supposed to show that!? when i was skating today i just felt lost, i couldn't focus on anything, it was all just spinning out of control."

victor looks at me, "well that means you have to find something to focus on. think back on your experiences this year, the important events and people. ask yourself, why did i feel lost? and once you find your lost love, reach out for it."

i sigh, "yeah, you make it sound so easy..."

it's silent for a bit, until victor asks another question.

"y/n let me ask you this, what is yurio to you?"

what is yurio to me...? i never really thought about it.

"well, i guess he's a... a friend." i gulp, it's like my throat is closing up.

why was that so hard for me to say? that's basically what he is.

victor doesn't look convinced, "is that really all he is to you? just, a friend?"

"yep, just a friend." why does my heart hurt?? am i dying?

victor keeps going, "what if you were more than that to yurio? what would you say?"

i freeze, "i uh... um- well i wouldn't have to say anything because that would never happen. i'm positive yurio just looks at me as a friend as well."

victor looks at me sarcastically, then turns to yuuri, "well yuuri i think i've figured it out. what about you?"

yuuri sighs, "yeah, i think you're right."

i look between the two of them, "what? what is it?? what did you guys figure out?"

victor ignores me, "let's see how long it takes her to figure it out. now what would you like to order yuuri they have an excellent menu here."

yuuri glances at me, before putting on a horrible act, "well let's hope she figures it out before the final~ ohh! the pasta looks really good here."

"OH COME ON!" they continue to ignore me, "alright fine, i'll figure out whatever the hell you two won't tell me, AND i'll figure it out before the final, and win gold! i'll show you!" i stand up and storm out of there.

UGH i swear those two... it's like having two dads who give horrible advice.

-

we are farmers, bum ba-dum-bum bum bum bum

-

i get into the elevator and press for my floor, thank god everyone seems to be out celebrating or sleeping already... considering we all have flights to barcelona tomorrow morning.

the last thing i want to do right now is talk to interviewers or other skaters about my performance today...

speaking of which, i haven't seen yurio all day... i saw him and nikolai before i went to perform, and i saw nikolai congratulate me afterwards, but by then yurio was no where to be seen.

eh, oh well. i don't think i could face him right now anyways... if he's a fan of mine he's gotta be so disappointed in how i performed today...

i get off the elevator and walk to my room, i check my pocket for my key card.

it's empty.

i check my other pocket.

also empty.

i frantically search everything in hopes of finding my card, but nothing.

FUCK WHAT DO I DO???

everyone is out or sleeping, and the desk lady already hates me! i would ask to sleep in yuuri's room again but he's still eating dinner with victor...

UGHH why do i do this? i guess i was in a rush to leave when victor show up in fear of disappointing him even more...

i stand in front of my door, banging my head against it, "why. does. this. happen. to. me!??" 

i turn and slide down onto the ground when suddenly the door to the room in front of me swings open, revealing a not-so-happy looking russian fairy...

⬏⬑

➯𝙫𝙤𝙩𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩!

𝙖/𝙣

this chapter took me so long for the sole reason of me not being able to decide on a song- why am i an indecisive bitch?

but anyways, i think i'm satisfied with this song and the meaning to it or whatever... idk i tried to make it make sense so we'll see 👺👺

also sorry this chapter is kind of really long- but i had to fit a lot 😭 props to you if you read it all, this was the final part to the rostelecom cup btw

finally, thank you all for reading, voting, and commenting~ 

and i hope you're enjoying it!