(I'M NOT OKAY)

➯𝙫𝙤𝙩𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩!

⬎⬐

i try to go back towards the crowds to find yurio, but lilia keeps pulling me forward to the kiss and cry.

eventually i give up and decide it's better to just get this over with as fast as i can.

'y/n katsuki just gave her best performance surprising us all with two quads! one of which being victor's signature jump, a quad flip! this might be a record breaker!'

i hear the announcer, holy shit... a record breaker? i mean i bet i beat my personal best but a world record..?

lilia and i take a seat in front of the cameras for photos and to wait for my score. i crane my neck to see yakov talking to yurio for some last minute advice.

'katsuki's score is coming in now...'

i hold my breath and focus my attention back on the scoreboard...

i need a score of 77.18 or higher...

'and her score is 91.62!! crushing the world record and taking first place! this is incredible!' (yeah i made y'all a little op cause the real world record is like 85 for women's but dw bout it y'all are just bad bitches ;)

i can't believe my eyes. i actually broke the record...

i look next to me to see lilia trying to suppress her huge smile, and she looks at me proudly.

"you did wonderful y/n. thank you for letting me coach you. i know you'll do great tomorrow as well."

i look at her with wide eyes, hearing her kind words, before nodding and smiling at her.

"now i won't hold you up any longer. go to him, go to yurio and wish him luck." she says, looking away from me and towards yuri.

as soon as she finishes i thank her and take off, dodging cameras and people.

'and now the start of the men's senior division, welcoming yuri plisetsky from russia! this is his senior debut, and he's made it all the way to the finals!'

shit shit shit. they're already announcing him!

i try to speed up and weave my way through to him, saying a quick thanks to those around me congratulating me.

i finally reach victor and yuuri, yuuri looking a bit nervous as always, but not quite as much with victor by his side.

"guys! yurio hasn't gone on yet right??" i ask frantically.

victor turns to me, "huh? he's right here-" i push past them as soon as i hear him and finally see yurio in his shiny outfit, about to enter the rink looking tense, his eyes focused on the ground.

before i can think about it i jump and hug him from behind, like he's done to me. i feel him lift his head in surprise.

"y/n? what the hell are you doing?"

"i'm hugging you idiot. stop looking so tense, you look constipated!" 

"i do not look constipated! shut up piglet!" 

i laugh, "just look at me!" i turn him around and we lock eyes.

"don't think so much, okay? just... feel. find your agape, and i know you'll do great." i say as i brush a hair out of his face.

i'm about to pull my hand back when he grabs it and holds it to his face, looking me in the eyes.

he sighs lightly, "thank you y/n." he drops our hands and turns to go out onto the ice.

good luck yurio... i'll be watching.

-

『𝙮𝙪𝙧𝙞 '𝙨 (𝙮𝙪𝙧𝙞𝙤) 𝙥𝙤𝙫 』

-

i skate out to the middle of the rink, and enter my starting pose, taking a breath.

this is it... the finals. i've never been so nervous, and i can't figure out if it's because of y/n or the performance.

the music starts and take off into my routine. it's not long before i seem to let my mind go.

i don't want to disappoint grandpa, or yakov, or victor and especially y/n. she's been supporting me all this time. without her i wouldn't have been able to understand this theme at all... but now i'm sure.

these days i can't seem to stop thinking about her. her laugh is music to my ears, even if it's me she's laughing at. and when she hugs me it's like all my stresses and pain go away. her smell is intoxicating, i've never felt like this towards anyone.

i close my eyes, smiling to myself as i think about her.

the music is all i hear as i see her face, her eyes, and her smile in my head.

she makes me feel so at peace...

so i have to do my best in this performance, and then i can do it. i can tell her how i feel, even if she doesn't feel the same, i'll take the chance.

because i have found my agape, and it's you. 

it's you, y/n.

-

『𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙥𝙤𝙫 』

-

(if you wanna feel like a disney princess go ahead and listen to this while you read 😩)

yurio finally lands in his finishing pose, panting, and the crowd roars louder than ever before.

i couldn't look away from his performance.

he was perfect. 

yurio, you take my breath away...

"so, he found his agape..." i hear victor say next to me, looking satisfied, "thank you, y/n."

i look at him confused, "why-?"

"don't ask questions! just go, we've all been waiting for this!" he turns me around, giving me a light push towards the entrance of the rink.

i look up and make eye contact with yurio as he steps out of his pose. flowers and gifts are being thrown from all around.

the announcer talks excitedly, 'the score is already rolling in! it's already breaking victor nikiforov's previous record for short programs! this is incredible! yuri plisetsky in his senior division debut everyone!'

after hearing this, his eyes widen, and he bolts toward the exit of the rink.

i run to meet him, trying to push through people.

"y/n!" i hear his voice crystal clear despite the cheering.

i make it to the entrance, and look up to see him skating towards me, locking eye contact.

i smile at him and put my arms out for a hug, ready to congratulate him, "yuri!"

as he gets closer, i realize he's no longer looking at my eyes, but my lips. my heart rate picks up.

he ignores my open arms, and instead he comes right up to me, cupping my face in his hands.

all i see are his shining blue eyes, before they close, and i feel his lips on mine.

my heart skips a beat, i melt into his touch, and close my eyes as well.

for a moment, it feels like we're the only two people in the world. like this was always meant to be...

we both slowly pull away, breathing lightly, and he lifts my chin up to look at him.

"wha... what was that for?" my heart seems to realize what happened, but my mind hasn't caught up.

"i won." he smiles softly, pink dusting his cheeks.

"...won what?"

"the bet. i beat victor's record, so i took my reward princess."

i become a blushing mess, "you... you did amazing yuri!!"

"of course i did, all i did was think about you." he smirks.

i can't even seem to get any words out. is this really happening? does... does this mean he likes me?

before i can say something he looks up at yakov calling for him to go to the kiss and cry.

these damn kiss and cries!

"dammit. alright, i'm coming old man!" he starts to walk away, but not before looking back at me with a smile, "by the way you look like a tomato piglet."

"wha- HEY! you can't just do all that and leave!" i huff as he walks away, and i see him laughing.

who am i kidding i can't get mad at him...

suddenly i feel two people put their arms around me on either side.

"so y/n... welcome to the club!" yuuri cheers, "you've got a russian of your own!"

victor bursts out laughing, "our y/n is all grown up! she finally beat the friend zone!!"

i roll my eyes, "oh my god YOU GUYSSS! shouldn't you be preparing yuuri for his performance??"

-

little time skip brought to you by the butterflies in my stomach

-

after a few minutes of hearing the announcer give yurio's record breaking score, and victor and yuuri teasing the shit out of me (along with minako and mari coming down to join them), i look back at the kiss and cry and see yurio isn't there anymore.

i wonder where he went...

before i go looking for him i see the next competitor getting ready. is that... JJ? oh boy.

i'll admit, i don't really like the guy, but he looks awfully nervous right now. it's so out of character from his usual obnoxious self...

i can't believe i'm doing this...

"hey um, JJ? are you okay..?"

he looks up at me with wide eyes, just realizing i was there, "h-hey y/n! of course i am! i'm JJ after all!" he gives a very forced act of confidence.

i sigh and look up at him, "look, it's okay to be nervous. just do your best, your fans and family have your back, i promise. you'll do great."

for the first time he seems to show a more real side of him and looks down in defeat, "thank you y/n, that means a lot. sorry about being a bit obnoxious... i've never experienced being so nervous."

a bit? more like all the time... but that's not the point!

"it's no problem, getting nervous is really hard to deal with. it's what happened to me a year ago, but i can tell you from experience you'll only learn from it, you can do this, good luck!"

he nods and smiles, "of course i can! after all, it's JJ style!!"

i laugh and wave as i walk away and he leaves to get ready. now at least he's a little back to normal. hopefully he does alright, nerves and anxiety are hard to deal with...

i turn back to see victor and yuuri talking, probably preparing since yuuri is after JJ.

"hey guys-" before i can finish speaking victor looks up at me, then past me.

"what are you looking at..?"

they both smirk, "turn around y/n."

"okay..."

i slowly turn, to be met with a partially bare chest covered by mesh and sparkles. why am i getting deja vu?

i meet his eyes and notice a slight blush on his face.

"yuri! you're back!"

he clears his throat and i notice him fidgeting with a black box in his hands.

"in russia we don't really celebrate christmas or anything... but i saw this and thought you would like it."

suddenly he opens the box to reveal a beautiful gold necklace.

i look into the box, "yuri... this is beautiful. thank you so much!" i wish i had gotten him something... i guess i was too caught up in the competitions.

"here." he says and he steps behind me.

i feel the cool of metal on my neck, and his hands gently clip the necklace behind me. 

he leans in next to my ear, whispering, "regardless of what happens tomorrow, you've already won gold to me."

i feel myself blush, and turn around to face him. he takes my hands in his, preparing himself.

"it looks beautiful, even on a piglet like you."

"hey!" i glare at him playfully.

he just laughs at me blushing, before getting serious again, looking me in the eyes. i could stare at those eyes forever...

"y/n i... i've been meaning to tell you something..."

alright, this is it. i'll tell him that i like him.

i take a breath, but he beats me to it.

"y/n, 

i love you."

.

.

.

"you... what?"

⬏⬑

➯𝙫𝙤𝙩𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩!

𝙖/𝙣

LMAO i keep ending these chapters with "what" bye- but anyways...

FUCKASKDJSHKSJKA THIS ISN'T FUCKING FAIR.

THE WAY I WAS BLUSHING WRITING THIS ENTIRE THING UGH- I HOPE Y'ALL GOT BUTTERFLIES CAUSE I DID.

HOPE YOU ENJOY GONNA GO SCREAM NOW <3

~update~

the necklace is from d'happy makers btw, it's called "classic opal necklace." i'm tempted to get it 😩