I was riding with Alex on his motorcycle on our way to Leela's house, who lived in the outskirts of town. It was the day before Luke's birthday and we were going to bake a cake, as I promised.

One of my love languages is giving gifts, so you can imagine how crucial it was for me for that cake to be perfect. The three of us went shopping and then we went on with the project (we took turns to whip cream and to mix the batter). By the time we took it out of the oven, as anyone but we would have expected, the cake looked like shit.

"It's not so bad" Leela tried to comfort me, I was a nervous wreck.

"It's horrendous" I exclaimed.

Alex intervened while we were all standing around the table, staring at the flat cake, "it's for Luke, it's not like it has to look professional or anything."

I turned to him angrily, "I would never give that cake to anyone."

I knew I was giving my best impression of Buddy Valastro but I couldn't help but wanting everything to be perfect for him. Also, I couldn't afford to fix a cake last minute because I had to birthdays on that day.

Do you remember my little monologue at the beginning about my history with Aquarius people? I mentioned a girl? Well, it was also her birthday.

I met Astrid in college, we started working together at first but, by the second year, we had to inevitably part ways and, eventually, she dropped out to pursue a different career. The first thing I noticed about her was how beautiful she was, she had black hair with a bob cut, her skin was tan and she had a characteristic pink birth mark on her forehead. When I started talking to her I noticed she was also incredibly sweet, she was the human form of a sunray. I never had the courage to tell her I liked her, I knew she swung both ways but she had told me she was more into men, so I was scared. I only approached her as a friend but still flirted with her, and she flirted with me all the time, or that's what I thought. Eventually I started to think that maybe she was just joking like straight girls do, so I stopped making moves on her. I got to know her better and realized she wasn't sweet at all on the inside, in fact she was a little mean sometimes, not fond of romantic stuff, and she was brutally honest, she couldn't keep any thought to herself no matter how cruel it was. That made me like her even more, I think at some point I even got to feel love, but one single attitude ended it. Actually it was many things accumulated, but it was one night after spending the whole day at her place, when she said something that fucked me up bad.

"I didn't like the way you were laying all spread out on my bed, I don't like people laying on my bed. Please, don't get mad" she texted me. I almost smashed my phone against the wall after reading the most stupid shit I couldn't have ever imagined.

It wasn't that serious, now that I think about it, but I guess I was just tired of her treating me like a stranger. There were many things she didn't like about me and she made sure I knew every single one of them. She never liked the movies or shows I recommended and she always elaborated in detail every reason why she disliked it, she thought my music was cheesy, she thought astrology was stupid and she absolutely hated whenever I sent her a meme related to that, and she always let me know when my jokes weren't funny. She made me feel bad almost every day, I felt like everything I said or did was wrong, every move with her was on thin ice but I really cared for her, I wanted her in my life to the point where it pushed me to come out to my mother because I was hoping to take her home someday. I loved her and did my best to try, I tried to be fit for her. But I loved her, until I didn't. They say easy they come, easy they go; my love left as swiftly as it came. I got away for a few days until I wasn't mad anymore, and I was ready to be a friend, for real this time. Even thought my feeling for her changed, I still felt a little punch in the guts whenever she mentioned having affairs with other women. I don't think I was jealous, I just think it was a 'why with others but not with me?' type of feeling.

"It will look better once we decorate it!" Leela tried to cheer me up.

"It looks like a pancake!"

Everyone was laughing. I wasn't. Eventually, Leela's sister, Joy, went to the marked and bought another box cake for me. Alex and I left again in the motorcycle, and I was holding that cake as if it was my very own child. I got home, I baked the second cake and, as I was waiting for it to cool down, I started whipping the cream and melting the chocolate, when I finished it looked hideous but my mom helped me save it. God bless Pam.

I drew a twenty in the middle with chocolate chips and voilà, it looked gorgeous, I went peacefully to sleep at 2 a.m.

The next day I got up and went to Astrid's home very early in the afternoon, the sun was burning and she invited me to the pool but I refused, I still found it hard to get naked in front of other people, especially when they are super thin in comparison to me. But pushing that aside, I had a great day. I was planning on leaving at seven, but I ended up leaving at eight, plus the whole trip on bus, I got home almost at nine. Oliver was coming to pick me up so I rushed, but still I didn't make it in time. I was half way straightening my hair when he arrived, so I asked him to come in ad have a seat while my mom finished my hair. We were watching one of those shows about home renovations and Oli talked a lot with my mom while I was sitting there, panicking about being too late. My mom found out that he was actually very nice and talkative, she thought the contrary because he always waited inside the car so she thought he didn't want to say hello. As soon as my hair was done, I ran to change and do my makeup really quick. Oliver walked in front of me, opening every door so I could walk with the cake, almost in a getaway manner since my brother tried to steal chips from it until the very last second. He opened the car door for me and we left, I was feeling more relaxed now that I was on the way, so we chatted casually while he drove. We got there, he stopped the car and, for a brief moment, I looked over to him.

"Do I look fine?" I asked, nervous as hell.

He grinned, "Handsome." I chuckled as I waited for him to open the door again while he was also carrying my bag.

When Luke opened the door, his face lit up. His smile was so big, he was biting his ears, and I could see his shyness coming out, he was flattered. I didn't give him a hug like I so badly wanted because my hands were full, and then he started organizing the food so I lost my chance. I walked into the dining room and everyone started embarrassing me.

"Damn, you look hot!"

"Why so elegant?"

"Where you going like that?"

I could feel my cheeks getting pink as I softly begged them to shut up.

I greeted Luke's parents, I did my best to be talkative and polite so they would like me, I joked a lot with his dad and talked about the cake with his mom, everything was going great. Luke offered wine to me and then they started playing cards, Charlie wasn't present so Leela played in his place, and Darcy and I drank all the wine. After dinner I was already giggling by myself, the others staring with fun in their eyes, enjoying the show I always make. I took pictures with everyone and then I started feeling cheesy, I lied on the table with my arms crossed, reaching out for Alex's hand with one, and Oliver's hand with the other. Luke came back from doing I don't know what, and sat next to me.

"It's your turn, pal" said Oliver as he handed him my hand. I reached mine waiting for him to take it, he took a few seconds to be sure but then he did.

My drunk-self is capable of things my sober-self can only wish for, I truly envy her. I held Luke's hand for a while and my head was very much empty, but now that I think about it, that night my main goal was to let him know I loved him without actually saying the words, at least, that was the idea I had for the first few hours. It's funny to think that, in my twenties, I would be making a fuss of holding my crush's hand or talking to him, you're probably thinking why don't you just make an honest move? You're an adult! Believe me, I know, I wish I had an honest explanation for being the way I am, but the truth is, I'm just very stupid. I could only rejoice in the little things like having him sit next to me and stare into my eyes, or just holding his hand like that.

We finished dinner and it was finally cake time, I was so excited for him to tell me it was awesome. Food is one thing he enjoys in great amounts, and he had let me know many times in the past that he liked my cooking.

We finished singing and he cut the first slice with bright eyes and a child-like smile, "it has three layers!" he exclaimed. I was biting my ears.

Suddenly, I was pulled out from mesmerizingly staring at his face when I felt two soft hands hold my shoulders firmly. I looked up and I found Luke's mother, Diane, looking down at me with a smile. Something in her eyes made me feel comfortable and I kindly placed my hands on top of hers, then she leaned in and whispered in my ear, "Thank you for taking care of my baby so much."

I think I giggled nervously at the unexpected compliment, but something tells me there was an unspoken deal being made between the two. Without taking my eyes off of hers I simply said, "Always."

We chatted a bit more while eating cake and Luke casually mentioned that it was his father's birthday the next day, so, by the time the clock hit midnight, we started singing happy birthday again. The man came in with a childish smile, similar to the one his son wore while being serenated, I couldn't help but find the resemblance charming.

Funny enough, the man was as quiet and serious as Luke, so when he asked to take a photo with us we all reacted like we just won an Oscar for Best Picture. Later, when both parents went to bed, we took the party outside.

We sat in the backyard under the stars, the night was stunning and everybody was cheerful with lots of alcohol in their system. Except for me; I was wasted.

"Please, pet my head" I asked Oli as I lied my head on his legs. He pretended to be annoyed by me but he pat my head for quite a long time. He only stopped when I abruptly got up after having a moment on realization.

I went to the bathroom with Darcy and I drunkenly spoke, "do you mind me being so touchy with Oliver?"

She laughed as she held me, "No, babe. Touch him all you want."

I sighed in relief and admitted, "Okay, because I do mind you touching Luke. If you do it I'll kill myself." I started walking back out while Darcy burst into laughing behind me.

We went back outside and I zoned out in my seat for a moment, next thing I knew they were talking about something tough.

You see, last December I went to a witch who read the Spanish cards for me, and when I tell you a terminal disease diagnose was more positive than her lecture. She said that the person I liked had no interest in me, and that a lot of people hated me, one person in particular who was very evil, and the first I thought of was Evelyn. She also said the happiness line in my hand was cut, and that I was heavily depressed because of that. To sum it all up, it was one big no-shit-Sherlock moment. Alex started talking about that experience, since he went with me that day and we both got a lecture.

Alex's days were a little shaky too. Everything was going great with his girlfriend, Nicole, they went on a trip and were about to go formal when one thing happened.

"My family is moving to Spain and I'm going with them," she said. Alex felt like his world was about to take a massive turn, he knew what was going to happen before she even said a word.

"What are we going to do?" he asked, already knowing the answer.

"You can come with me" she offered. And he said yes.

I still remember the day he called me and told me. I remember where I was, what I was doing, what I was eating, what I was wearing, and how I felt.

"He's going to leave me" I said to myself as I tried to come up with a non-aggressive answer.

He explained his motives but I couldn't understand, "I know you're always reckless but this is too much, even for you. It's another country! What are you going to do? How are you going to pay for it?" I tried to talk some sense into him, helplessly.

"I love her, I can't think of the idea of her leaving, I have to go with her" he assured. He always talked to me about her because I was the only one who could understand the depth of his love, but not now. Now I could only see her as the one taking my brother from me.

"You've been together for four months, that's not enough. You can't just leave your life behind for something you're not even sure about. I hate when you do these stuff." I felt the tears starting to collect in the corners of my eyes.

I don't remember the words he used to comfort me, but the days passed and this matter became a problem in his relationship. He started questioning why she wasn't introducing him to her family, considering the fact that they were planning to flee the country in no time. That's probably an exaggerated statement.

But the doubts became heavy on his shoulders and, instead of clearing them up, she stated that it was probably a bad idea. She wasn't counting on him to go, probably because she wasn't ready for that big step yet. Alex on the other hand, he was ready to marry her if he had to. It was a huge risk that at least one of them thought about, and then she decided it was best for them to break up. They still talked, I'm pretty sure it wasn't over, and it wasn't going to be for a while, but they both needed time to figure out what they wanted. For some days, Alex had that time to think and we were right there by his side but, like every other time in his life, he moved quickly to the next page. For some reason he wouldn't allow himself to experience negative feelings.

"So, yeah, that's what the card's lady told me. Oh, and she said I was going to have two or three kids" he concluded his story. Everybody was laughing and making jokes when Luke suddenly remembered.

"You went too, didn't you?" I nodded. "What did she say to you?"

He knew I went because I told him before I did. Darcy even tried to convince him to get a lecture too, but all he did was glance at me and ask "should I?" I shrugged my shoulders and simply replied "I don't know."

"Basically, she said that I am unhappy and I'll probably never be, and a lot of people hate me, which is curious because I don't know many people. So, either stranger hate me or you guys do!" I joked, they all laughed and shook it off. "Do you guys hate me?" I asked jokingly, but a little bit seriously.

"No, buddy" Oliver said.

"I love you" Leela expressed with a characteristic soft smile on her face. I extended my hand to her and said "I love you too", as she held it briefly.

"What about you, do you hate me?" I looked at Luke with serious inquiry in my eyes.

He smiled, trying to provide comfort, "no, I don't" he said. I leant in closer to him and placed both my hands on the table, desperate to touch him but not daring to.

"Really?" I insisted, "because sometimes I feel like you do" the others were laughing at the total random situation but I wasn't listening, I was staring deep into Luke's eyes, scratching every ounce of honesty I could, forcing him to open himself to me.

He leaned in too and grabbed my hands with his, softly rubbing my knuckles with his fingers but firmly holding me in place, as if he wasn't planning to let go any time soon. He shook me a little to bring my attention to his eyes, and when I looked up, he spoke.

"I love you a lot. So much."

For a moment it was just him and I, even the others could feel it. They knew they ceased to exist for that moment while Luke was looking into my eyes saying he loved me, speaking with such honesty and vulnerability, I'm sure everyone was as shocked as I was.

"You do?" I asked with glowing eyes.

His smile became my safe space. "I do", he said.

I muttered a shy "I love you too" that was covered by the gibberish of the others, who decided to join in the universe again after being expelled by a moment of love professing.

At 5 a.m. we decided it was time to leave at last. Before I got into Oli's car, Luke walked to me and pulled me in for a hug, once again making everyone disappear. After saying our goodbyes, Darcy and I went with Oliver in the car, and Alex took Leela on his bike. I left with the dumbest smile on my face.

When I got home I lied in bed, staring at the ceiling and smiling, until my phone vibrated. I looked down to a new text from Alex.

"man, leela is so pretty lmao"

I chuckled while reading it as I thought of a response that made sense.

Love is absolutely stupid and hilarious.