Days had passed since my fight with Evelyn and things had been nothing but shaky. I had to get surgery on my nose because I wasn't breathing properly so I had a very painful weekend, and she didn't even text me once to at least check on me. I mean, I wasn't expecting her to do it, but my mom did get really pissed about it. During my recovery, my friends checked on me daily, I only let them come to visit once my nose wasn't swollen anymore, I looked so ugly. But, during those days, I didn't hear from Luke. That made me sad because, despite my feelings for him, we're still friends and I was hoping he would care. Apparently, he didn't, or so I thought.

After my recovery, we had that Halloween party that caused so much controversy among the group. I shouldn't have gone, probably, but I did and I didn't tell my doctor. After all, Alex and Charlie went with us. I was dressed as an angel and Darcy was the devil; the boys didn't try quite so hard, Alex wore his rugby uniform and Charlie put on his karate outfit, whatever the name is; Leela, on the other hand, was Britney in her "Baby... One more time" school outfit (the best in my opinion).We actually had so much fun, even though, at some point, I got too close to Darcy that we crashed faces and my nose started bleeding. It became the best part of the anecdote afterwards. We even laughed a lot because, when we got there, we saw Evelyn there with her boyfriend and, instead of surrounding us, she walked right through our circle. So much for so little attention.

Everything was going great until the very end when two things happened: somebody stole Darcy's phone from her bag and she got an anxiety attack, and Alex cheated on his girlfriend with one random girl. I got so mad at him but I couldn't get him to stop, it was like trying to get something out of your dog's mouth, I had to fight him.

But, putting those two moments aside, the night was pretty fine. Alex had told me that, last minute, Luke wanted to go but the tickets were already sold out. I played it cool, of course, but I was cursing inside.

It was mid-November and I was fully recovered, so I started going out more. I went to Charlie's place many times and kind of became friends with his sister, Alice. One of those nights, we were hanging out in her room with Darcy, and we had a conversation about the boys.

"They all came home to see me during my recovery, but Luke didn't even ask" I laughed it off, "I never expect anything from that kid and he still disappoints."

Darcy and I broke down laughing and started making jokes about it, but Alice seemed confused.

"He didn't?" she asked, "Because the other day they were here and I asked them about you, and he told me you were doing better" she informed.

It took me by surprise to hear that, since he didn't say a word to me. I thought "maybe he asked Alex about me", but why couldn't he just talk to me?

Luke had the most unusual way of interacting with people but, far from feeling down, I actually felt encouraged. I also was drinking wine, which is a key factor of my bravery. But I felt like I needed to approach him first, otherwise he never would.

I was dancing barefoot in the living room, glass in hand, and he was staring at me the whole time with a smile on his face. I don't remember half of the things I said, as I was drinking wine, but I know we talked a lot because I annoyed him into it. He even got used to my constant impulse of physical touch; when we first met, he backed off a lot when I aimed to hug him or barely touched him, now he placed his hands awkwardly on top of my arms and just accepted it. Eventually, I even got to hold his hand, like I did with the others all the time. Of course, it meant so much more doing it with him.

As I was getting drunker, I wanted to flirt more, but he was more interested in his cards game. They always played poker and forgot we were there, that's why the girls and I were always drunk. Simultaneously, Darcy was also struggling to get Oliver's attention, since he was playing the same game as Luke. Both giving us the side eye when we danced together, but not brave enough to fully stare.

Alice was there with her friends so we decided to go talk to them since the boys were ignoring us. At some point we started talking about astrology, and one of Alice's friends mentioned to me that she was an Aquarius.

"Oh no" I said, jokingly.

"What's wrong with Aquarius's?" she asked.

"Yeah, what's your problem with Aquarius's?" Luke suddenly added. I was startled because I didn't think he was listening, but, apparently, he always is.

I turned to him and he was looking at me with a mischievous look in his eyes, like he was daring me to say something. I returned to the girl as I was trying to avoid Luke's gaze.

"I just didn't have good experiences with them" I simply answered while chuckling. My laugh was deceiving because drunk Ava can't keep anything in.

The girl raised an eyebrow at me, "Why? You like an Aquarius?" she asked genuinely.

I felt Luke's suggestive stare in me, as if he was telling me 'go on, answer the question' only with his eyes. I giggled nervously and simply said "No", not sounding very convincing.

The girls noticed that, even if the boys were ignoring us, they still had their ears up to the door, hearing our every word. So we moved the conversation to the bedroom and, obviously, brought the wine with us.

We sat on the floor talking about boys and astrology. Now, looking back at it I think yes, I am exactly like other girls. Alice's friend told me she liked an Aries guy and asked me for advice. I face palmed.

"Please, tell me it's not Alex" she started laughing so I did too. "But Alex has a girlfriend!" I warned her.

"And I have a boyfriend!" she exclaimed, "I just want one night." It was so wrong but also none of my business, I just chuckled and told her I couldn't give her any advice about my friend.

Eventually, with more trust and more wine, Darcy and I started venting about how frustrated we were that the boys we liked were always so teasing sometimes but so cold and mean other times. It was getting stupid because, the more Luke pushed me away, the more I wanted him, and whenever I thought 'okay, this isn't going anywhere, I need to forget it', he shows up with that smirk and puts his hand on my neck just to say hi, or rubs my hand whenever he hands me a cup of coffee. Darcy always said that she just wanted to sleep with Oliver, nothing more, but I wanted everything with Luke. I wanted to be his.

I went back to the kitchen after venting and drinking my feelings and I could only sit and stare at him like he was the most precious thing. Every now and then he would give me the side eye and smile, but he didn't say anything to me. But I wanted to kiss him so bad, and I probably would've done it if I stayed there for another minute, since I was madly frustrated, drunk and horny. The girls came out of the room but I noticed Darcy wasn't with them, so I asked.

"She's smoking in the window" they said. I knew she was madly frustrated too.

I stumbled to the room and I closed the door to talk to her. She was indeed smoking in the window, I laughed as soon as I saw her.

"You good, bro?" I asked. She laughed too, we were both acting so stupid and I was literally seeing blurry.

I know she started talking about Oliver but I honestly don't remember what she said. I listened until I tripped and fell onto the bed. We both laughed loudly but I encouraged her to continue speaking as I was laying there, staring at the ceiling. At some point she finished her cigar and sat next to me.

"I'm so mad" I told her.

"Me too" she agreed.

"I'm so horny" I added.

She chuckled, "me too". We both started laughing and she laid on me as she continued speaking, "did you see how they were both staring when we danced together?"

"I didn't, I wasn't looking their way but I'm glad they did. It's what I wanted" I joked. "I wonder what I have to do to get Luke to finally give in" I confessed.

"When you told me to put my hips down he turned his head so fast!" she mentioned as she made herself comfortable on my chest.

I started going back in my memory to find the exact moment she mentioned as I was stroking her hair. I remembered: Darcy sat down on the couch when we were dancing and she started thrusting her hips in the air, I immediately yelled at her to put them down because it was too much but she only laughed, and I was crackling too but still I kneeled on the floor in front of her and put my hands on her hips to push them down. We both burst out hysterically as I slowly let my head fall on her legs. We were laughing and dancing face to face, we always do that when we're drunk. It's like we don't measure distance, that's how I got my nose bleeding in Halloween.

I remembered the moment and asked, "He saw that?" she nodded, "Well, I hope that gave him some ideas" we both crackled one more time and then we stayed there, laying in silence, until she finally spoke.

"I like him so much" she buried her face on my neck.

"You should probably just go out there and sit on Oli's lap without a warning, just to see what he does" I joked to try to comfort her. I pat her head and looked down to her. "I wish I could do something like that with Luke, I feel like I'm losing my mind."

She looked up to me, "they don't deserve us, we're too much for them" now she joked to comfort me. I chuckled.

"They're idiots. It could be them right here holding us while we're horny as fuck" we both laughed.

"Their loss" she responded.

I didn't notice how close our faces were until I started feeling her breath in my mouth. I think we were both measuring how comfortable the other was with the proximity, both none of us was moving away. When I felt her nose rubbing mine, I chuckled.

"This could be them, it's their fault" I said like I already knew what was going to happen; Darcy smiled and agreed.

"This could have been avoided" she joked and then she crashed her lips into mine.

I was too gone to care and, honestly, I think I also would've done it sober. Darcy is fucking hot.

I grabbed her waist and positioned her on top of me. She kissed me like she was trying to steal all of my oxygen and I loved it. I didn't give a single fuck, I put my hands everywhere and she put her hands everywhere. She bit my lip and I almost said 'fuck it' but, suddenly, we heard the bathroom door shutting loudly and we both jumped scared. We totally forgot there was people outside.

We looked at each other and burst out laughing at the totally random situation. I pushed her down from me as she was crackling in the bed, I got up and walked to the door.

Still chuckling, I said "I'll head out so it's not suspicious." She laughed and muttered a soft 'okay'.

I walked back to the kitchen still stumbling and blushed, so I just sat there in silence away from the bottle. Minutes later Darcy walked out and sat next to me, we looked at each other and chuckled in complicity. Despite what you all might be thinking, it wasn't awkward at all, with her it never is, and it will one hundred percent happen again. It was funny and we told everyone after a couple of months just to laugh at their expressions.

As the night was coming to an end, I sat there with my legs on top on Darcy's and a wasted but happy expression. Luke sat in front of me and put his phone down, staring.

I thought he was just glancing but he didn't move his eyes from me, so I didn't move mine either. God, he looked so pretty. He was dressed in all black, his beard was a little grown and his eyes looked relaxed since he had been drinking beer, I wanted to get out with him.

I tilted my head in question, as if saying 'what you looking at?', in reply he tilted his head as if saying 'what are YOU looking at?' and gave me that smirk that he only gives me, the one that immediately makes me smile like a child with a crush. We stayed there for a while, looking at each other's eyes until it was time to go. I could've stayed there forever, but it was getting late. We had to go home.

Oliver drove Luke, Leela and I home in his car, we annoyed the boys the whole trip talking shit and laughing at literally anything. When we got to my house I told Leela "Darcy and I just made out in Alice's room", totally out of the blue. My friend opened her eyes wide and shrieked a high-pitched "What?!"

That night was one for the books, nothing I expected to happen, happened. But it was still memorable. That night I laid in bed with the effects of the wine still sparkling inside of me, thinking of him. Thinking of how I wanted him to just show up at my door suddenly and say 'I came to sleep with you'. I wondered what would happen if I ever attempted to kiss him. Would he push me away and hate it? Would he just go with it? Could we still be friends if something happened between us? The truth is, I was falling in love slowly.

It wasn't a crush anymore, I was thinking about him all day, every day. And it wouldn't have been enough with just a one-night-stand, I wanted to hold his hand and call him mine. I wanted to meet his parents, to have him on a Sunday, to sleep at night with him and his cat. I wanted everything.

Everything.

But I did not know how to get it.

So frustrating.